my dear friends I'm still searching co-players for burakhovsky rp. please. don't leave me alone with my brainrot. ru\eng
pluses:
- i'm funny
- I think I have interesting headcanons
- I have a library of aus in my mind
- maybe I'll draw some pictures
minuses:
- english isn't my native I can use weird constructions...
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⸢"When he comes back this time, let's just throw him inside a coffin and bury him somewhere. It'll be better to let him out only after the scenarios are over."⸥
Lee Jihye said something hair-raisingly scary just then. I watched the kids sitting together on the screen and my heart began aching as if I had been sneak attacked just now.
It hadn't been that long since we parted ways, yet I missed them already.
Whatever the cost, I had to return to them.
How I'm picturing all of Kim Dokja's Company responding to Jihye's suggestion:
Also, awwwww.
Dokja wants to return to them just as much as they want him to return. 😭
They've all grown so close and now the end of this novel is just a neverending cycle of "I want all of my beloved friends to be safe next to me" from all sides of the equation.
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I don't talk about this stuff on here pretty much at all, but a past relationship really broke a ton of bits and pieces of my brain and heart in weird ways (I'm finally thinking about him almost never but the shit he pulled was abusive as hell and still affects me sometimes). Being in love with my current girlfriends for a while felt almost. Painful? Almost like I should be ashamed I can fall so deeply in love with people, and especially how quickly that can happen sometimes too. Thats how it kind of felt. I tend to get overwhelmed with emotions if I'm feeling them very strongly, and that has been extremely embarrassing and also felt almost like I was being a burden to those I love (which love is the main emotion that can 'get dialed up to 11' for me). It IS debilitating in some ways!!! It hasn't gotten bad enough I've been nonverbal in a really really long time but that happened this past week and it was wild to me.
Things are getting better now though! Therapy in the past has helped, and honestly having such patient and understanding partners has made a world of difference ;w;. my wife is someone who was one of my best friends and I had a huge crush on and now I can ask for cuddles and we can nap together and I've fallen so much in love. Her and her presence are literally heaven for me, I don't know if anything has ever made me happier than just laying next to her and feeling her warmth.
Worries of course flare up and I feel like I need to lean on her a lot during those moments, but I don't feel like too much of a burden to her. I love seeing the posts that say stuff like 'Its okay to be a burden' or 'its okay to be annoying' because really truly I think I need to be those things to survive sometimes. I can be 'a lot' and I can be a little bit obsessive and those things aren't inherently bad or evil of me. I just make sure I'm feeling okay during and after and make sure I'm checking in on myself often. I'm a bit of a broken girl, but that doesn't mean I'm not extremely happy and living a life I love. I've written poems and everything about how it feels like it must hurt to love me and my broken jagged edges, but hey, even if it does a little bit, it doesn't mean someone like my girlfriend/wife won't go through a little bit of burden to love me, and I'm more than happy to return all of this and more for her as well if she's ever in need or feels broken ;^;
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Vacation Laura and I have finally started Bad Buddy together! We just watched episode 4, it's making me a smidge euphoric, I have to externalize a bit of the giddiness so I can go to sleep.
I have watched and read so many enemies or rivals to lovers stories, and the draw for me has always been as an audience member, enjoying the tension and conflict that resolves into confused mutual pining. This is the first time I've watched rivals annoy the shit out of each other and thought to myself "I want what they have." Truly!! Like I've never felt two rivals/enemies enjoy each other so viscerally that I want to feel that myself, but Pat/Pran did that.
Gotta get me a girl who pesters me and shoves my head into her stinky armpit and doesn't want to play sportsball unless I'm on the opposing team.
Speaking of stinky armpits: Love how much these men smell each other. Very enjoying the sheer amount of sniffing and scenting.
Ep4 makeup removal scene is new product placement scene of all time, for ME. Certainly there have been more hilariously memorable ones (Farmhouse), but Bad Buddy had their leads use a cosmetic product in a normal and everyday way, instead of bringing women in for just that scene, or making it a joke scene between two men. For this I love them.
I usually hate being spoiled for ships and romance storylines but I loveeeee knowing InkPa happens because it makes the Ink scenes, already delightful for Pran's heartsick eyes alone, exponentially more tantalizing. Pa is staying out of the way for her brother's sake? Oh girl you just wait.
As mentioned: I love Pran's heartsick eyes, love when tears gather just in the corners of them in bedroom scene at the end of ep 4. Nanon's so good at looking wounded, makes it an artform. I ALSO love: Pat's stupid giggle; Pat making people give into him with whiny coy puppy-dog begging.
I would like to see Pat in a dress.
That's all for now haha
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Chapter Thirteen: When the World Is Over
Yippee! Chapter thirteen is up and you can find it right here.
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GIFTS FOR FRIENDS PT. 3
SNIPPET FOR @queerlilchinchin
Dear Han,
thank you for everything. You're one of the most talented, kind and encouraging people on this app. Your writing is absolutely stunning and do not get me started on your characters, wip ideas and world building. You're truly one of the best people and a good friend. I decided to do a small gift for you based on your description of Mercedes simply because I fell in love with the idea of her soaking up new topics.
~ Love, Leia
_________________________________________
It was silent in the library. No one was there yet except for the staff of the university library. No students filled the reading rooms and small workrooms yet. They were not yet searching for books, nor were they preparing for approaching exams or assignments. Granted, it was only 7:04 a.m. and the library had just opened its doors. Granted, the sky only now started to be coloured in the rising sun's colours which painted cirrostratus clouds in pale pink, peach and violet.
And yet one person had already passed the entrance and was now striding through the empty corridors of the library. Blonde hair with green strands had been tied up in a braid. Her heels echoed muffled off the floor as pale green eyes eagerly absorbed the titles of the books. In her left hand she held a basket belonging to the university library, which slowly filled with books about the long-gone advanced civilisation of the Romans and Celts and their architectural masterpieces, as well as other archaeological finds. Books about the universe were added before the young woman found a quiet place in one of the upper reading rooms near the window front. She settled down on the chair and placed a notebook and pen on the tosch before sorting the books by subject. When she picked up the first book, which dealt with ancient vase painting, she had to smile slightly. Some of her fellow students did not understand why she was dealing with a subject outside her field of study. Only a few could understand.
Reading broadened their horizons, made them educate themselves and develop an opinion on new topics. Learning something new and studying it intensively meant being able to ask and answer new questions.
Yes, Mercedes had understood how to use her curiosity for new things. Reading meant knowledge and knowledge meant power.
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