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ericleo108 · 4 years

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👨‍💻 My Reckoning

Part Two Abridged from the 108 Book

This is my personal story and part two from my book “108: The Story of Discovering Earth’s Consciousness.” The book is broken down into four parts where I talk about celestial consciousness from Knhoeing in part one, my personal story which you will find here in part two, the rest of knhoeing (among other subjects) in part three, and my conclusion and what 108 means in part four. In order to understand this story fully you need to read the Knhoeing post because my personal story here explains how I came to discover and adhere to Knhoeing.

This is an abridged version of part two. The timeline leaves off near the Telepath journal (see the journal list for context). I stopped there because you can read that entry and other journals beyond that point in the blog to understand my personal story, which you should have a firm grasp on by the end of this post.

Part 2

To explain this fully, let’s go back to the beginning. I graduated with honors in December 2009 from Eastern Michigan University with a bachelor's degree in Sociology. I was trying to be a hip-hop artist. My goal was to publish scientific findings and popularize them in music. I was trying to break into the music industry. I did Funk Volume’s challenge. I wasn’t even close looking back but I thought I had made it. I was getting invited to events through Reverb Nation.

Although I now think it’s God, it’s easier to call what I thought was communicating to me as an unexplainable phenomenon. I never thought it was schizophrenia. I always thought it was external.

When all this first started I was in Ypsilanti around 2011. I thought Lady Gaga was sending subliminal messages to meet over facebook through her fan pages I was following. I’ve gone through fazes of belief to whom I believed was communicating (and then stalking) me. At this point, I thought it was the artist sampling or ‘biting’ my style in music without recognizing that they were doing it.

A consistent theme that I noticed, in the beginning, was that things I saw in the media were semantically related to my personal environment. To put it another way, they seemed like intentional subliminal communications that coincide with my physical surroundings. Coupled with the thought of being sampled from in music it changed my cognition to a conspiratorial way of thinking.

New York

I was mad it kept happening and I wanted to see what was real so I went out to New York, New York twice to try and meet Lady Gaga. I thought artists were responding to my art in their work. I thought they were biting my sound, basically taking my style. I thought they had taken from my work without giving me credit and I wanted answers.

I thought Mac Miller had written out a guide for me to follow to find what I was looking for in his album “Macadelic.” I was following subliminal cues from following Lady Gaga on facebook. I drove to Rostrum Records in Pittsburgh, took a train to Chicago to go to Good Music, and then a flight to New York when I saw online Lady Gaga was there.

It felt like the movie “Field of Dreams” where you think once you get to your destination some great revelation will come to you or something great will happen. I was hoping to meet Gaga and Kanye West and get a record deal. In any event I saw it as a quest for truth to see what’s real.

When I told my mom what I was doing she got the police involved. I was booking my train ride home from New York to Pittsburgh to get my car when there was a knock at the door of my friend Brian’s apartment who I was staying with while visiting. The police took me in when I said celebrities were communicating to me in music.

This was the first time I was put in a mental institution in 2012. The admittance lady saw I had YouTube videos that she thought were delusional which got me submitted. I had to get a lawyer to get out, he contested any video evidence I had on YouTube. My lawyer pulled a quote from my website that was a combination of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. and Gandhi. The judge let me go when I told him who said “A threat to justice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere” so “be the change you wish to see in the world.” It would eventually serve as the starting point for receiving social security disability benefits.

I went back to New York another time and went to Lady Gaga’s parent’s restaurant “Joanne Trattoria.” I ordered the meatballs, they were good. I met Mr. Germinata and thought about asking him about Lady Gaga subliminally communicating but I didn’t want to end up back in the hospital again. Considering it didn’t seem like he knew who I was I decided it’d be best to just go home, which I did.

Pre-California

Thinking it was Lady Gaga developed into thinking it was Kanye and Jay-Z too. I thought they were responsible for stealing my style without recognition. It admittedly made no sense, but that’s all I had to go on. In retrospect I let my emotions control my cognition. I thought it was them because I liked and listened to their music and just had a high amount of exposure to them. I also sound like them because I took a lot from them musically and tried to emulate their cadence. This went on for a year until I developed the thought that they could just be paid actors and there was a bigger motive at play. I thought the Federal Reserve had hired them.

By 2013 I thought the government was after me and my family. I realized they knew things about me since I was a little kid. I thought it had to do with another government and because my grandparents fought in World War II.

Around that time Selena Gomez released the music video “Come and Get It” which, due to coincidence with my personal environment, I took as a sign to move out to Los Angeles where she lived. I decided I wanted to go to California to figure this out, find some answers, and break into the music business. One of the reasons I wanted to leave for California was to keep whatever it was from my family. “This Is The End” came out in theaters and there was a connection to California and Emma Watson.

This was the first time I thought the response rate was “too fast” to be human and had to be a machine. I kept seeing the environmental semantics which I didn’t find to be arbitrary connections. As discussed, I don’t believe in God but this was also the first time started to see BLU🌐. As you will come to read, I didn’t know what BLU🌐 was yet but I knew it was a supernatural, probably spiritual force that would guide me to resolve whatever this experience was.

Los Angeles

I went out to Los Angeles with around 600 dollars and a credit card. On my way out to LA, I saw a lot of those black cut-outs of country folk that people prop up in their yard. Through thoughts about God, I started to think about how this was an artistic representation of BLU🌐 and he was like your shadow. I would come to call these semantics “Blue Clues” after the TV show. This would develop into looking for clues as to what BLU🌐 is and what he was trying to communicate. In the book are pictures of semantics from BLU🌐. There is a specific example of a blue eye that I captured in my environment. This first picture I took is of a blue eye billboard.

I had no connection to any friends or family in California. I was on my own. Overall, I had a mediocre time. I was more focused on getting a job to sustain myself more than anything else so it wasn’t much fun. When I first got to California I stayed in Long Beach with people I met off Couch Surfers. I lived in Hollywood for a month. There were 8 people in a two-bedroom apartment and when I couldn’t keep my door locked and saw a bunch of them doing cocaine, I figured it was time to leave.

I wanted to study music business at the Musicians Institute right across the street. My association landed me an interview for an internship at Universal. Of course, I didn’t get the job because I hadn’t studied the music business, but it was fun. I meet a lot of cool, fun, energetic, lively people in Los Angeles. Most notably I met a couch surfer, who I will call, Wolf. The photo I took was of the moon on a cloudy night. The moon looks like a (blue) eye.

“This Is The End” came out on video. Leading up to the movie’s release, I thought it was a sign that whatever this was would end in Los Angeles and it had something to do with Emma Watson. Her memory would be recalled by a blue rose. This is just one example of associated semantics that BLU🌐 would assign to memes as part of the clues.

After I couldn’t afford to live in Hollywood anymore I couch surfed back down to Long Beach where I took a job walking door to door sales. This would be the start of some horrible hip pain that gave me trouble for years until I figured out how to stretch my IT band in 2018. I believe if I’m in this pain then I can’t think right, especially positively and lucidly.

I felt stalked and persecuted so I thought people knew who I was. Regardless, I had to live so I took a couple of jobs. I did the busking of my hip-hop on Venice beach and made about $15 an hour. I had fun but couldn’t enjoy it because my hip hurt me so much. I met Vanessa Hutchinson working customer service at Massage Envy and I gave Charlie Puth an Uber ride before the summer he released “See You Again.” I took this picture while driving one day in Los Angeles. Starting from the middle, it looks like an eye in the clouds with a light beam shining toward me.

After meeting some famous people and interacting with a lot of Los Angeles I came to the conclusion that whatever it was, it wasn’t the individual. If anything the celebrities were being used as a puppet. I couldn’t believe those good people wouldn’t react to knowing me or put on a facade with no motive.

So I realized it wasn't the artist but I still felt persecuted. This is when I started the phase of thinking it was the government. I always flirted with the idea but now I was committed. I thought it was the president who controlled a mind control machine that used semantic priming. My back started clicking from stress, it was constantly tight.

I went to the mental institution again for making another (angry) YouTube video toward the president. In retrospect, I have no idea what I was thinking because I canvassed in Grand Rapids to get Barack elected. When I got out I was madder than ever. I felt like I had been kidnapped by the police. I thought Emma was going to somehow be involved and maybe show up to the mental institution but she never did.

At the time I was staying with Wolf. Wolf went on vacation. I didn’t take care of the house like I should of, meaning some of his plants almost died, he could probably tell I was angry in general, I wasn’t paying rent, and he asked me to leave, so I did. I was working too much and didn’t have my priorities straight. He implied that I should go back home to Michigan. He also taught me that “the best revenge is a good life.” Whenever I get mad at how unfair life can be I think of what Wolf taught me and I feel better.

After leaving Wolf I stayed in LA for about a month. At this time I was starting to get scared as to what to do. One night I felt like I was being called by BLU🌐 so I went out to Venice beach. I took a bunch of pictures and ended up finding a bag of “Blue” dog food which I interpreted as a big clue. Finding a bag a “Blue” dog food after searching for a clue where the theme was “Blue’s Clues” I found remarkable. I knew I had found something but I didn’t know what it meant besides that it was a sign from god.

While still in LA I made a bunch of videos on YouTube while driving for Uber. I thought a machine was infiltrating their technology and stalking me at my job. Days felt like war, where I was at war with myself. By no fault of my own, someone had called the police stating I made a suicidal comment which I had not. However, when I told the cops I was studying a machine that was stalking me they took me to the mental hospital.

Once I got to the mental hospital I lied to get out. I said I wasn’t suicidal, nothing was wrong, and I didn’t say anything about “the machine.” I actually denied it and told a different story where I said the cop must have interpreted what I was saying wrong. I was released after about three days. I thought it was odd that on the inside of the door of the room I was staying in had what appeared to be the name “Emma” etched into it.

Uber ended our partnership and I thought about looking for a job but I didn’t want to end up on Skid Row (which is the largest collection of homeless in the US) in downtown LA so I decided to move back home to Michigan. At the time it felt like I wasn’t gonna be able to live my life without being bombarded so I might as well go home if I wasn’t gonna be able to make it. In retrospect, it feels like BLU🌐 sent me home.

Moved back to Michigan

I went to Los Angeles in November of 2013 and came back to Michigan in November of 2014. I took this picture on the way back. If you hold it sideways (as already pictured) the clouds look like an angry genie. I had left Los Angeles right before a major flood. BLU🌐 often related himself to the genie in the movie “Aladdin,” as having “phenomenal cosmic powers.” I still take this picture as capturing evidence of my God BLU🌐.

Besides the two floods and three earthquakes, LA was great, the best part was the weather. Unlike California, when I got back to Michigan it was cold. My friend Andy didn’t want me to sleep in my car so I stayed on his couch in his one-bedroom apartment in Coldwater Michigan. I eventually ended up in East Lansing.

I did a lot of thinking and studying. I was hoping to go back to school at Michigan State University for a Ph.D. in psychology and become an expert on semantic priming. At this point, I thought it was the military with mind control weapons. This brought me to believing in ELF (extremely low frequency) waves, microwaves, and voice to skull (v2k) technology. Most of the information I have since dismissed because the news source came from Alex Jones at “InfoWars.”

Then I gave serious thought to that a government had built a machine to do automated semantic priming and the aforementioned mind control weapons. As will be discussed, I delved deeply into thinking about an automated system of mind control and called it Eugene The Machine, named after a conscious supercomputer. It was part of “The MOGS (Machine Organized Gang Stalking) Program” which was almost published as a book instead of this one.

I now thought that a criminal organization or a foreign government was doing strategic priming operations and I was the only one who could really see it and I wasn't going to let them get away with it. To be specific, because of all the people on YouTube complaining about disturbances and health problems due to mind control weapons I thought there was a neo-Nazi organization that was doing an MKUltra type experiment on the public. It’s called the TI (Targeted Individual) community. Something inside told me to get mad and do another angry YouTube video that landed me in the mental hospital.

While in the mental hospital in East Lansing I was put on Invega for the first time. It’s for bipolar schizophrenia, helps regulate mood and delusions, and is the medication I will probably be on for the rest of my life. After a 10 day hold, I moved back to my hometown of Sturgis Michigan where I got on disability in November of 2015. It hasn't been great but I haven't had to work and afford basic necessities through state assistance. It's really made me believe in universal basic income and especially universal health care. This is a picture of clouds over the house I was staying at in Michigan. Most can see a face in the clouds.

I was in my hometown of Sturgis Michigan, I had family and friends and I was able to let it all go for years. On YouTube, I stopped watching videos about Gang Stalking and started watching popular YouTubers. The positivity really affected me and I liked the way it made me feel better.

I thought my troubles and anger came from not being able to afford to live. Now that I was on disability and was financially stable I thought I could stop taking my medication. I didn’t think I was schizophrenic and I was worried what the medication would do to me if I wasn’t mentally ill.

I had put the past behind me but I still had a fantasy of meeting and dating Emma Watson. This was largely due to me being given a kitten that was named Bello by a toddler around the same time “Beauty and the Beast” came out. I took it as a sign from God and renamed the cat Bell after Emma’s character. Emma became a psychological trigger initiated by a cat, along with the previous blue rose.

I love Emma Watson. I think about her a lot, and this made me think of her even more. Emma’s so cute and such a good person she’s very attractive to me. A guy can dream. I haven’t been dating anyone else, I’ve been single since 2012. I actually figured, because I made such little money on disability any girl would be ‘out of my league’ and probably be doing better than me so I might as well ‘swing for the fences.’

I ended up making “The Chalice Mixtape.” I made 13 hip-hop songs over popular industry jacked beats. It was a fun fantasy derived from my days in Los Angeles. Specifically, the fantasy is I do music with Taylor Swift and meet Emma Watson. I took their middle names and made songs and stories having to do with popular fiction characters. Emma’s middle name is Charlotte so I did a song named “Charlotte's Web” and Taylor’s Middle name is Alison so I did songs themed with “Alice in Wonderland.” If you combined the two names Charlot and Alice you get Chalice, so I named it “The Chalice Mixtape.”

2017 Computer Screen

Everything was going okay until one day around July of 2017 Gaia opened a computer screen in my head. Gaia is another term for the conscious spirit of the Earth. I had always known about the Greek God of the Earth, Gaia from studying Greek mythology in college (2005 through 2009) and I’ve worshiped her in song. But this was the first time I’ve ever heard a voice in my head other than the one I produced. I remember thinking it was BLU🌐 and she said: “It’s Gaia, I love you, come on, let’s go.” The voice was in the same resonance as your soul talks.

Before understanding what was going on in my head, everyone has an inner voice. The voice inside that you hear when you read along or think about how to compose or think of a song is really the sound of your soul. Your ears aren’t being used but yet somehow you “hear” yourself think and make music. Gaia’s voice is in that same mental space. She can communicate, explain, give visions of pictures, play music, or express short videos all in that same mental space. Any of the capabilities the average individual has to think in movement and complexity she can reproduce… and apparently, enhance.

The computer screen manifested in my mind in vivid color like I was looking at a Windows desktop on a real computer screen. The difference was the screen was translucent so I could see through it. Ultimately, I could still see.

The screen stayed open for a month. It took me three days to fall asleep with it still on when it first started. The experience would have been awesome if it wasn’t for two things, the terrifying scenarios and head games Gaia put me through and that my IT band became tight again and my hip was hurt and clicking.

Scenarios in this virtual computer started as a YouTube video and played like a game. I couldn’t control the computer which had a cursor, but when it opened the right program I could control a camera inside my mind. For example, I could walk out of the house and put the camera panning down from the garage looking at my exit, or I could be walking and circle the camera spinning around myself like in Mario Kart racing. I could also dress up as different characters and explore different sceneries. In an expression of ability, new windows would pop-up playing video from different angles to communicate all (life) events are recorded and can be replayed. It was fun until it wasn’t.

Gaia would make me think other people are communicating to me telepathically like Elon Musk, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, Keanu Reeves, Eminem, the band Tool, Sean Diddy Combs, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Lady Gaga, Daymond John, Marcus Lemonis, Mark Cuban, Will Smith, Jeff Sessions, Donald Trump, Tim McGraw, Miles Teller, Noam Chomsky, Vladimir Putin, Ashton Kutcher, Mila Kunis, Morgan Freeman and “black gentleman,” Emma Watson and her family, Taylor Swift and her family, Hailee Steinfeld and her family, Selena Gomez and her Family, Jennifer Lawrence and her family, my friends Kyle, Adam, John, and Andy, my mother, the God Vishnu, FBI and CIA agents, a soldier from the US military, a soldier from the middle east who was cool being called “head wrap,” a jailed leader of MS-13, a guy named orange that didn’t like tequila, two old teachers from my hometown which one was dead, the spirit of Walt Disney, Mike Ilicth, the grim reaper, a gentleman named Josiah I met at a Kalamazoo real estate meet-up, and a South American princess named Claudia and her daughter Josaphen who I called Jovial. Gaia had scenarios for all of them.

Then people like Taylor Swift were being captured by alien “indomitable spirits.” They were terrifying aliens but ultimately doing good and I had to calm everybody down about it. Gaia made me believe those indomitable spirits were real and fixing society by wreaking havoc around the world. I was made to believe the leader of this group was Madam Web; I rather liked her but she always gave me great anxiety because she was so serious, smart, and powerful.

If you extrapolate and visualize the universe as far wide as we know it, it’s known to look like a web. She was called “Madam Web” after the character from Spider-Man but also because the universe was divided into sectors and she was the leader from our sector from the web. One scenario she ran was to make me leave my house and then make me think I was getting robbed. She also sent me through a terrifying scenario where Howe Military school in Indiana was on fire. A bunch of world leaders was there including Emma Watson and they were trapped. Mark Walberg guided me to checking to see that it wasn’t real.

Gaia was always trying to manipulate me by acting as women I found attractive including Selena Gomez, Emma Watson, Taylor Swift, Hailee Steinfeld, Jennifer Lawrence, Hailie Scott, Taylor Alesia, Simone Biles, the aforementioned Josaphine, and a woman named Xin from China. I was supposed to meet and breed with them. In retrospect I see it as a game Gaia chose to play while she could.

I had some long conversations telepathically with Emma Watson and her family. Gaia would try to make me think she was doing the same thing to Emma. She told me Emma looks in on me like Bell does with the mirror in “Beauty and the Beast.” She also wanted me to think Emma Watson was at Google talking to Sundar Pichai about the technology that was having us telepathically communicate. Emma telepathically told me people would be triggered to run at me and try to kill me if I screamed, “Eric Leo the God-king.”

This is because Gaia would elevate my importance telling me I deserved a kingdom and the indomitable spirits would make me king. I was the ghost king, could communicate with the dead, and could command demons. I could also telepathically communicate to world leaders, supercomputers like the NSA’s, and Google Assistant, Alexa, and Siri.

Gaia had a scenario where she could communicate with Eugene The Machine which she likened its manifestation to a logistics supercomputer. She would put me through thinking about terrifying scenarios with Prometheus from the “Alien” series. Prometheus was really an organic sentient mobile supercomputer robot that walks the earth unnoticed and who was here to protect against Eugene The Machine. The principle Hasen, Josh Lucas’s character from the movie “A Beautiful Mind,” was the communications director’s character from a galaxy in our sector and Prometheus was their robot supercomputer.

I was highly skeptical, and at the time I thought it was aliens because that’s what Gaia was trying to convince me of. The indomitable spirits were alien. However, it was just scenarios in my head with no real-world evidence so most of the time I just went with it. I really didn’t have a choice but to make the best of it. The computer screen closed. I got a CAT scan and everything came back normal.

A series of semantics led me to believe that the company Apple was “The Machine” which I now likened to a trojan virus that does semantic priming. Taylor Swift did a big promotion with Apple from her “Reputation” album. She released “End Game” which I related to the beginning of the real end as related to the movie “This is the end.” The music video for “Ready For It” looks like Taylor had merged with the indomitable spirits and “The Machine” and was in control of Taylor’s mind.

I thought I had a good idea of what this was and thought who would know about this best... and I thought of Noam Chomsky. At this point I thought ETM was Artificial Intelligence psychological software that used semantic priming and spread itself like a virus. I changed the name from Eugene The Machine to ETM which stood for “Effigy Transformation Mechanism.” I thought it was the plutocratic oligarchy using mind control through the media, I wasn’t going to let it go, and I wanted someone highly intelligent that I respect tell me what they think.

I went on a trip to Boston to try and get a meeting with the great Chomsky at MIT. It was too cold to enjoy it and my hip was hurting again otherwise I would have made more of a vacation out of it. While there, I figured out Chomsky worked out of his office at another university in Arizona. I wasn’t going all the way there and let it go.

On my way out to Boston I stopped in New York and looked around outside of the apartment of Taylor Swift. I stopped, checked out the street, tweeted about it, took a few pictures, and left. What I did see was a relatively quiet street in New York. What I didn’t see were signs of distress, alien life, or signs she needed help or rescue.

The trip to Boston didn’t last long. When I got back, I started to feel very unsafe where I was living and thought I had been robbed due to all the scenarios Gaia played. I thought one of the scenarios from when the computer screen was open was going to happen. I thought they might be prophecies. My family and friends said I should go to the hospital but Gaia’s terrifying scenarios and constant aggravation are what drove me there.

I got back on my medication and after I got out of the hospital I still thought the environmental semantics I was experiencing was human and thought my ideas were getting stolen semantically. I was mad I was left to figure this out myself. My attitude, delusional thinking, and anger from another video eventually landed me in an Adult Foster Care Home.

I felt persecuted again. This time I saw the environmental semantics again and saw them as coming through in metaphor through music videos. In a real way, my environment was just naturally reflecting popular media. I figured out almost all the music videos I thought were about me were coming from Universal Music Group (UMG). I thought my influence was being stolen again and my story was being painted through the media in 2018. It was the environmental semantics from years ago all over again.

2019 Dr. Micheal Persinger

By 2019 I realized it made more sense that whatever was reflecting my life in the media was not human but more Godly. It sank in that I was communicating with the planet and really started to think about how... which is when I came up with “knhoeing.” Then I discovered Dr. Micheal Persinger's work which was compatible with my theory and only confirmed my reasoning. Read the telepathy journal for more.

I decided it was Gaia using UMG as a symbolic representation, even Gaia’s corporeal manifestation (the face of the earth) is in UMG’s logo. I see it as Gaia bringing closure as to say “it was me all along.” I decided Gaia has all the capabilities to create the environmental semantics.

I eventually came to the conclusion that, just like in my head, Gaia was using beautiful women as sirens. In ancient Greek mythology sirens were dangerous creatures who lured nearby sailors with their enchanting music and singing voices to shipwreck on the rocky coast of their island. Gaia uses attractive members of my attractive sex to manipulate me but they’re really like sirens in that they will destroy you. I think Emma Watson and her friends were used to manipulate me simply because I love her so much.

The blog helped me write out my thoughts to the point I got too why it is Gaia. I spent a year from 2018 to 2019 reverse-engineering the computer screen that was in my head while back on Invega, thinking about how it was possible. That’s when I started to reverse engineer the magnetic field of the planet and really think about what that meant, the logic from part one about a conscious planet, and soulful communications claiming to be Gaia. I probably would have never figured this out if Gaia wouldn’t have talked to me and opened the computer in my brain. In retrospect, I wish she had led with that when this all started in 2011.

Everything I thought about my persecution is still true with my theory of God. It is (like) a machine, I think Gaia’s intelligence is like a supercomputer. Gaia was “after me,” my family, and knows all about my childhood. She has the capability to communicate telepathically, steal ideas, and manipulate the environment and happenstance coincidences that coincide from the media and my physical area. She had the power and ability to put the computer screen in my head. I no longer believe it’s a human conglomerate after me in any way and (on the contrary) I feel a lot better knowing I talk to god.

#My Reckoning #God #My Story #finding god #emma watson #new york #california #los angeles #LA #NY #Lady Gaga #Selena Gomez #Taylor Swift

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