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unknownchoatic · 3 days

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SURSITAUITAIYDUPGSYAYIDIYD OMFG WHATTTTTTT DUDE THIS IS AMAZING

Wheels of misfortune (a Nightmare angst fic)

Based on these two posts by @unknownchoatic :)

I don't know ANYTHING about disability as I am not disabled myself, so please excuse the inaccuracies and misinterpretations :')

Also English isn't my first language so there might be grammatical errors :')

I'll proof read later

Tw: paralysis (???), mention of bullying, self hatred

It was late, the moon was high in the sky and everyone in the castle was sleeping. Everyone but Nightmare. He was wide awake, laying on his bed looking at the ceiling. He had been feeling quite unwell these past few days, he wasn't sick, but he could feel his body being heavy, especially his legs. There had been a fight with his brother recently, but he didn't recall being hurt, he came back tired because of the positivity, sure, but he wasn't hurt, so why was he feeling that way ?

He sat on the edge of his bed, sighing, and pushed on his arms to get up, feeling his legs shake under his weight. He looked at his private bathroom door at the back of his room, for a moment it seemed to be so far away from him that he thought of getting back on the bed. He shook his head, what was he thinking ? It was barely a few meters away.

He made a step forward, grabbed the wall for support when he tripped on the rug, it was the first time he ever tripped on this rug, and slowly made his way to the bathroom. He was exhausted, his back hurt, it had always hurt since he acquired his tentacles, but recently the pain had became a lot more overwhelming, and even when he didn't summon them, like now, it still hurt, even if the tentacles weren't there. He never summoned them when he was at home, he didn't want to bump into things. He knelt in front of the bathtub and opened the faucet, watching the warm water run for a while before starting to get undressed, sitting on the floor. He looked at himself in the mirror, inspecting his bones in search for any cracks, maybe he had been hurt after all, maybe he just didn't notice, but everything was fine, there was no injuries.

When the tub was full he closed the faucet, grabbed some essential oils bottle to put some drops in the bath, and finally got in, sighing in relief as he felt the warm water sooth the pain away. He closed his eye, relaxing a bit, he focused on the different emotions in the castle and only felt peace and contentment. Good. That meant his boys weren't having any bad dreams, they were sleeping peacefully. He would always make sure they were okay, they were all that he had, they were his family, he would always protect them, no matter what.

He relaxed in the tub for a good hour before getting up, the water was cold now. He grabbed a towel to wrap himself in and got out of the tub, letting the water drain in the pipes. After only two steps he grabbed the sink for support, his legs were shaking badly. He muttered a curse under his breath, bending over to grab a short and a t-shirt for the night which he struggled to put on before getting out of the bathroom.

He flopped on his bed and crawled under the covers, maybe tomorrow he will feel better, he just needed to sleep a little...

When the sun shone through the curtains Nightmare let out an annoyed growl, he was still feeling so heavy, his back still hurt and his legs... weren't hurting... he didn't feel anything in his legs... His eye shot open as he sat up straight, throwing the covers aside. His legs were still there. Of course his legs were still there, how stupid could he be, thinking they would have disappeared ? He tried to sit on the edge of his bed, but nothing happened, he didn't move...

- What the f#ck... ?

He muttered, stress starting to settle in his soul as he tried in vain to move his legs. His breath fastened slightly, he brushed his hand against his tibia, he could barely feel it, he tried again on the other leg, rubbed his feet, his femur, his knees, but he didn't feel the touch, he was just... numb.

He grabbed the nightstand in a hurry pulling himself out of bed by force, his soul was beating too fast for him to remain calm. He fell, taking a lamp with him in his fall, it shattered on impact, he tried to get up again, to hold onto the nightstand and push on his arms to get up, to stand on his legs, but they didn't move and he fell again, his breath was erratic. What was happening ? What was happening to him ? Why couldn't he move his legs ? Why couldn't he get up ? Was that a nightmare ? Was he gonna wake up soon ? His arms hurt, it wasn't a nightmare.

- HORROR !!!

He yelled on the top of his magic lungs without thinking about it, feeling tears forming in his eye. Was he going to die ?

His door shot open, a very panicked Horror hasted in his room, for his boss to scream like that, something bad surely happened. His red eye quickly scanned the room before he spot Nightmare on the ground next to a broken lamp.

- I can't move them.. ! I can't.. !

Nightmare struggled to say, shocking on his tears, he couldn't form any coherent sentence, clearly having a panicked attack. Horror rushed to him, he had never seen Nightmare in such a state...

- It's okay boss, I'll carry you to your bed.. ! Don't move.. !

He tried to reassure him as he gently but rapidly took him in his arms to lift him off the ground, sitting him on the bed and sitting next to him. Nightmare clung onto his henchman's jacket, burying his face against his chest, praying that it was in fact a bad dream. Horror held him in his arms, not understanding what was going on, all he knew was that his boss needed comfort so he would give him that. He gently rubbed his back, letting Nightmare cry against him.

- It's okay boss.. I'm here..

He gently soothed, feeling the little body of the black skeleton shaking like a leaf against him. When Nightmare finally managed to catch his breath and cease his crying, wich took a few minutes, he looked up, still shaking slightly, only to see that his two remaining henchmen were in his room too, worried by all the noise, Dust looked like he just woke up, still in his pajamas. He didn't like that. He didn't like worrying his teammates, he was supposed to protect them, not make them worry. Killer was the first to speak.

- What happened ?

Nightmare took a few seconds to answer, he still didn't want to believe it himself, but the proof was that he was still trying to make his legs move without success.

- I can't feel my legs...

He answered with a weak voice, a voice he hated more than anything, a voice that reminded him of just how pathetic he could be, just like when he was a kid.

- What do you mean you can't feel your legs ?

Dust asked, a little confused.

- I can't feel them.. ! I can't feel any touch, I can't move them, I can't stand up, I.. !

- Shhht, calm down, take a deep breath..

Horror cut him, feeling him tense again. Nightmare pressed himself against the bigger skeleton, as much as he hated showing such vulnerability, he really needed comfort right now...

Killer frowned, looking at him almost accusingly.

- I told you to get a check up, you were hurting too much for it to be normal.

- You're not helping.

Dust scolded him. Nightmare was already in a bad state, no need to point at what he should have done, he already knew it.

- Horror, go make him something to eat, I'll help him get dressed, Killer try to see if you can find something in an AU to help him walk.

Dust commanded, he was the most responsible out of the three, he was kinda the second in command when Nightmare couldn't assume his leader role, like now. Killer scowled, he didn't like receiving orders from someone other than Nightmare, but for now he clearly couldn't think straight and they needed to help him, so he obliged and teleported in an AU to steal something.

Nightmare first tightened his grip on Horror's jacket when he felt him move but quickly let him go when Dust took his place. He watched as the big skeleton left his room.

- You feel like going to the bathroom or you want me to bring you your clothes here ?

Nightmare looked at Dust, he almost expected mockery, but Dust was genuine, he sincerely wanted to help. The goopy skeleton shook his head.

- Bring it please..

Dust nodded and went to the bathroom looking for his boss's clothes. Nightmare looked at him go, confused, he trusted them of course, but deep inside he was always so scared that they might leave him if he became too weak, that they might laugh at him for showing vulnerability like they laughed at him. The villagers. They would always mock him, make him feel weak and pathetic, he hated that, he hated that feeling, he wanted to be strong, to fight back, but he just couldn't, they were stronger than him, always.

Dust came back, clothes in hand.

- You need help ?

Nightmare was cut in his sad memories. He looked up at him.

- No, thank you..

- I'll turn around while you change, if you need help just ask.

Nightmare nodded, grabbing the clothes. He waited for Dust to turn his back before taking off his t-shirt, putting on a sweater and his jacket, then he stopped, looking at his legs. He tried to move them. Nothing happened. How was he going to take off his short and put on his sweatpants ? He looked up at Dust again, maybe he could ask him... ? No. No he wouldn't ask him. Dust wasn't a nurse, he was his henchman, it wasn't his job to get him dressed. He could do it himself, no need to bother him. He crawled on the middle of his bed and tried to push on his arms just enough to lift his pelvis off the mattress and slide off his short.

- You sure you don't need help ?

Dust asked, hearing the noise of the bedsheets.

- Yes.

Nightmare blushed, he was in his underwear, Dust couldn't turn around now ! He sat up again, tried to move his legs, failed, and manually lifted his knees in front of his ribcage to slide his feet in the leg holes of the sweatpants. He didn't even feel the cotton of the pants against his legs, it was like he was dressing the air and not himself, it didn't feel right. He then did the same thing he did to take off his short: lifted his pelvis as much as he could to pull the pants up. All that just for a pair of pants... what a waste of time. If only he had listened to Killer when he told him that it wasn't normal for his back to hurt this much, but he was just too stubborn to admit that the pain was barely bearable. To admit being weak.

- I'm done...

- Yeah ?

Dust turned around again, pleased to see that the goopy skeleton managed to dress himself alone, not that he wouldn't have helped, but it would have been awkward for both of them. He got closer to him and knelt in front of the bed, turning his back again.

- Put your arms around my shoulders, I'll carry you to the kitchen.

Nightmare looked at him, hesitantly getting closer to the edge of the bed.

- You're sure... ?

- You still can't move your legs, can you ?

No, he couldn't. He tried again and he still couldn't.

- Come one, you know Horror doesn't like it when we make the food wait.

Horror had strict rules with food, such as: no waste, two meals a day minimum, everyone eats together, and when the food is ready no one should be late or else it would be cold. Nightmare didn't want to upset the bigger skeleton so he reluctantly wrapped his arms around Dust's shoulders and watched him grab his legs to wrap them around his waist. Good thing he didn't have his tentacles summoned, he was much lighter and easy to carry without them.

It felt wrong. It felt so wrong to be carried like that, like a baby who couldn't move by himself. It was pathetic. He was pathetic. He just wanted to dissappear right now, to go to sleep and not wake up until all of his problems were gone.

Dust sat him on a chair, in front of the kitchen table. Horror had already put a plate in front of him: pancakes, he also had a cup of hot cocoa.

- Thanks...

Sometimes he felt like he didn't deserve them, he didn't deserve their love, their kindness, he deserved nothing... but he was so damn glad he had them because he loved them oh so dearly...

Killer teleported back in the kitchen, a wheelchair next to him. Nightmare looked at it. He didn't like it. He didn't want to sit in a wheelchair. He didn't want that, it was too... too much, too drastic, he didn't want that, he didn't want to just give up on his legs just yet. He felt his eye tingle. He didn't want to cry either, not again. He blinked to chase the tingling sensation away.

- I don't want that thing.

- It's the most suitable for you right now.

Killer countered. Nightmare frowned, blinking again.

- Why didn't you bring a cane ? Or at least crutches ?

- Because you need to at least be able to stand up to use those and you obviously can't.

Killer didn't have any filters when he talked, that was one of the side effects of not being able to feel fully, he was brutally honest because he didn't care if he hurt someone with the truth, it was always better than lying.

Nightmare blinked. One time. Two times. When he spoke his voice was shaking.

- I don't want a wheelchair.

- You don't really have another option right now.

- Killer.

Horror stopped him, seeing how Nightmare's hands had begun to shake.

- It will be temporary, just the time we find another solution.

He tried to reassure him. Nightmare looked at him, he doubted there would be another solution.

- You won't have to go outside with it, no one has to see you.

Nightmare didn't want anyone else to see him like that anyway.

- I'm gonna put you on it, okay ?

Horror said as he got closer to him. His breath fastened when the bigger skeleton lifted him from the chair to help him settle on the wheelchair. He felt his soul clench, his ribcage burn and his cheeks tingle again. He tried to move his legs, to show he didn't need this wheelchair, that he could still walk... nothing happened.

Dust left the kitchen to get dressed.

Horror took the empty plate and cup to wash them.

Killer went to the living room, feeling he wouldn't be of any help in the kitchen.

Nightmare didn't move.

He tried to move his legs.

Nothing happened.

He looked down.

A tear fell on his hand.

Was this going to be his life now ? Was he gonna spend the rest of eternity on a f#cking wheelchair ? It was ridiculous. He was the king of nightmares, the guardian of negativity ! And he just couldn't walk ? He could alter the balance of the whole multiverse but he couldn't move his legs ? The villagers would have loved to hear that. He felt so useless right now.

He stayed in the kitchen all morning, unable to bring himself to push on the wheels.

The week passed slowly, it was like he was in a fog all day, trying to move his legs, failing, trying again, failing again. His boys helped him as much as they could, grabbing things that were to high for him to reach, helping him with the stairs... he felt numb. All over. He couldn't bring himself to face the mirror, he didn't want to see his reflection, he didn't want to see these wheels.

He was in the library, he wanted to clear his thoughts, think of something else. He looked at the books, the one he wanted was on a shelf, a little high, he couldn't reach it when sitting down. He didn't want to call. He wanted to grab his book himself. He didn't want to be dependant.

He sat on the edge of the wheelchair, grabbing the shelf in front of him and pulling on his arms to lift his body, using the shelves as a sort of climbing hold. He stretched his free arm to the maximum and managed to grab the book. The wheelchair rolled back. He lost his grip on the shelf.

Horror heard a loud noise coming from the library, and he knew that the only ones to go to that room was Dust and Nightmare, and Dust was currently in the living room. He rushed, worried. What had Nightmare done ? Did he hurt himself ? When he entered it didn't take long for him to spot Nightmare on the ground, a book in hand and the wheelchair two meters away. The pieces assembled quickly. He sighed, coming to his side to help him sit on the chair again.

- Why didn't you call us ?

- I can do it myself.

- Was falling part of the plan ?

Nightmare's grip tightened on his book, he was looking at the ground. He felt so dumb. He felt like such a burden everyday, he wanted to do something himself, but of course he failed to do that too.

- Nightmare...

He looked up, Horror rarely called him by his name.

- Don't be scared to ask for help, we're here for you...

He knew he was being genuine when he said that.

- I don't want to bother you...

His voice was barely a whisper. He didn't like always calling for help, always monopolizing them, being so dependent on them, it just didn't feel right to him...

- You don't bother us. You never bothered us and you will never bother us. Okay ? We care about you, we're happy to help. You're not a burden to us. Don't forget that.

Nightmare felt his eye tingle again, but this time, he only felt warmth in his soul, hearing these words felt good... really good...

- You want me to make a pie for tonight ?

Horror changed the subject. Nightmare looked at him a little longer before nodding, making Horror smile.

- Okay, and if you need help, call us, will you ?

He nodded again. Horror gently pat his skull before leaving the library.

Nightmare was lucky to have them, he knew that, and as much as he hated his condition, at least, he wasn't alone...

- end -

#im dying #chat im sobbing #im hysterically sobbing #tysm <3 #like whharrtrttttt #rebloop #utmv reblog

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