xadenviolct

[xadenviolct]

I want to quit being an adult. I want to quit work and having responsibilities and bills and everything breaking.

I want to enjoy life with my books and my kitty cats. I want to read and write and just-- live.

I want to be a kid again, dammit.

Whoever tricked us into thinking adulthood was fun-- We need to have some words...

#personal #about me #ramblings of a mad woman #so they fixed the one leak that ended up with water all over my kitchen floor #but in doing so (I think) I now have a washing machine that is constantly dripping and not draining #which means yet another day of maintenance coming in and my kitties being stuck in the bedroom while I go to work #adulthood sucks

[xadenviolct]

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

#tumblr #tumblr classic

[xadenviolct]

Out of curiosity and also guilt over my own coffee intake. I wanna ask:

Now I'm not talking about when you're studying and so you drink 3x the usual amount or something like that. This isn't me asking what your record is. I'm talking about the most basic, average day, how many coffees you drink?

#most days it's 0 #some days it's 1 #i mean if I go to Starbucks or something like that it's the 1 #otherwise no no coffee

[xadenviolct]

lit meme: [1/1] antagonist → the darkling

“The problem with wanting,“ he whispered, his mouth trailing along my jaw until it hovered over my lips, “is that it makes us weak.”

#aleksander morozova #the darkling #grishaverse

[xadenviolct]

'why r you smiling at your phone' cool girls from tumblr interacting with me mind ur business

#always with the “got a boyfriend” question #and I'm like “well if the darkling and xaden and rhysand and cassian and all of them-- sure we'll go with ”boyfriend“” #about me

[xadenviolct]

You think you know me well enough to fool me? You don’t know me at all.

SHADOW AND BONE —  2.06 (2023) | “Ni Weh Sesh (I Have No Heart)”

#darklina #shadow and bone #grishaverse #angry!Darkling #betrayed!Darkling #unhinged!Darkling #what can go wrong

[xadenviolct]

“He’s a villain! You only like him because he’s hot.”

Okay and?

#okay like... while I will not deny that hotness is a factor #because let's be honest we're human and it is #(and for some reason the villain is ALWAYS hotter than the hero) #I have loved villains for my entire life #long before any sort of attraction to appearance #there's just something about the bad guys in fiction... #I can't help it #villain lover #villains #about me

[xadenviolct]

and the character being liam mairi

#fourth wing #iron flame #the empyrean #liam mairi #rebecca yarros #there is no getting over liam's death #none

[xadenviolct]

So I'm continuing my re-read of Fourth Wing and taking my sweet, sweet time (to try and absorb every little facet, you know?) and so I have finally gotten to chapter 31, and Papa Sorrengail's "cryptic" letter that Violet finds in her book of fables. And the parts that, naturally, stand out:

Remember that folklore is passed from one generation to the next to teach us about our past. If we lose it, we lose the links to our past. It only takes one desperate generation to change history--even erase it.

Which, by book's end, we know (?) is in regards to the truth Navarre has been hiding when it comes to venin and wyverns and all that. But I'm equally questioning if there's more than that.

This letter was supposedly dated a few months before he died, according to Violet, and ever since Brennan "died" he was cryptic and reclusive (again, according to Violet).

What all did Papa Sorrengail know? Like, we're assuming he definitely knew that first truth in regards to venin and wyvern but-- what else? We know he was researching feathertails since it's mentioned when Violet bonds Andarna but again-- what else.

I need answers, Rebecca! And why don't we know more about Papa Sorrengail by now?! Two books down and we don't even know his NAME...

So either this is a major red herring path that gets me so involved and it actually means, ultimately, very little--

But I doubt it. It's been dropped and hinted at, and with Iron Flame's reveal of Andarna and the seventh dragon den and whatnot-- You just KNOW that there is something big to be revealed.

#fourth wing #iron flame #spoilers #rebecca yarros #the empyrean #violet sorrengail #papa sorrengail #books #reading #fantasy #dragons #andarna #ramblings of a mad woman #and yes I mostly just want to ramble for a bit #it is what it is

[xadenviolct]

R H Y S A N D + F E Y R E | High Lord and Lady of the Night Court

For @officialfeysandweek2023

#feysand #acotar #sjm #this is gorgeous

[xadenviolct]

girl what happened to just creating fanwork to satisfy your needs

going directly to the developers for canonical changes to the work has gotta stop like what happened to boundaries

#fandom #pretty sure it's the access to the creators through social media that is more prevalent and thus easier to try and “communicate” with #but pretty much all people do is harass them and I'm just like-- #“i'm too tired and old to deal with that crap”

[xadenviolct]

#can't be too overpowered #damn

[xadenviolct]

You know as much as I will always love Darklina (more the potential of what it could have been but whatever)...

There is something remarkable to be said about Darkolai too.

Like... Every once in a while, I will completely fall down this darkolai rabbit hole. And just devour so many things, and think of different potentials and what ifs and all that.

But I mean, if not the whole sun/shadow and light/dark motif...

You have the whole "will do anything for my country/people" between the Darkling and Nikolai and... While Aleksander is far more radical (due to so many other variables and lifetimes and persecutions and all), their goals are the same.

And I think that's great.

#ramblings of a mad woman #darkolai #grishaverse #shadow and bone #aleksander morozova #the darkling #nikolai lantsov

[xadenviolct]

“Recently, my son said to me after seeing a ballet on television: ‘It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it.’ And I thought, Are many grown-ups capable of such a distinction? It’s beautiful, but I don’t like it. Usually, our grown-up thinking is more along the lines of: I don’t like it, so it’s not beautiful. What would it mean to separate those two impressions for art making and for art criticism?”

— “59. it’s beautiful, but I don’t like it” from 100 essays I don’t have time to write: on umbrellas and sword fights, parades and dogs, fire alarms, children, and theater, sarah ruhl 

#oh but see that means people have to be mature and all that #we can't have things like that #we can't have people THINK #what would the world come to if we had such a thing?! #just because YOU don't like something does not mean it's BAD #it's just not FOR YOU #but it may be something incredibly wonderful to another person #art is subjective #how hard is that to understand?!

[xadenviolct]

People think being self aware cancels out mental illness. That when you realise your thoughts or behaviours are irrational you just stop having/doing them

Instead what happens if you're extremely self aware and mentally ill is that you just think in a resigned kind of way "I'm being really fucking crazy right now" while being very loudly mentally ill

Sometimes you are able to tell the people around you "oh, you can ignore me rn. I'm just being extremely mentally ill rn. It will eventually pass" and then continue your erratic behaviour. But mostly it's just privately thinking: "well this is embarrassing but I can't turn it off so just gotta deal with it I guess."

It's infuriating honestly

#personal #mental health #honestly knowing that your thoughts or whatever are “illogical” doesn't exactly help matters at all #I have sat there many many times with the whole “I know this is stupid I know I'm blowing out of proportion I know it's illogical” and yet. #I cannot help but feel those thoughts and it just makes me feel even worse because oh #having these thoughts just makes me feel like an utter failure even MORE #i hate depression

[xadenviolct]

"[Viserys] knew the realm would never accept a Queen... …Rhaenyra's supporters will believe what they wish." ❈ EMMA D'ARCY as RHAENYRA TARGARYEN ❈ HOUSE OF THE DRAGON, SEASON 2

#rhaenyra targaryen #hotd

[xadenviolct]

Made a chart for sorting fantheories

#fandom