yeols-baekhoes - Tumblr blog

yeols-baekhoes · 4 years

Text

Picnic With Kim Namjoon

Rated: F for fluff, DJ for daddy Joon

Picture this: A/U where Namjoon— who has been noticeably distant the last few days— has a surprise for you. A big one.

Graphics:

(baby)

****************•********************•*****************

"Hey, baby?" Came the soft, deep voice from the other side of the wooden door, a knock almost as soft as the man's voice following.

You remain quiet, not only because speaking up had proven to only make your already sore throat even worse, but because at that moment you were avoiding your significant other so that an argument wouldn't occur.

You had been sick for what felt like a century, but really was about a week and a half. Your throat felt like sandpaper, your head had been scalding the past week and your nose stuffed and runny. You knew you were getting better, though, when you woke up this morning sans the fever and runny nose. It felt heavenly after so long of not being able to breathe through your nose properly.

Even though you lived twenty minutes away, you had found yourself taking shelter in Joon's apartment as your parents had left for another work trip.

You usually enjoyed being in Namjoon's company. Ever since you met him almost a decade ago, his friendship had always been your source of comfort when your broken family proved to be otherwise.

It was only until four years back that you had both decided to act on the hidden feelings that had been bottled for years.

But recently, the past few weeks had been strange. Namjoon, always the busy bee, had been extremely distant. It was out of character for him. Yes, he was busy with his projects, but you always understood him. Understood the late nights, the days where he couldn't text you as frequently as he always did. He was chasing his dreams, working damn hard for them, at that. But, he always made sure to at least check in with you so you were aware he was okay. He would still sit with you, gently massaging your aching feet from work, even if it was for a couple of minutes before he ran off. There was always a few minutes of conversation where you would watch as his beautiful eyes lit up and his dimples deepened when he talked about his day or when he watched you speak about yours.

You weren't mad. You could never be mad at your Joon, not when he was finally getting to do everything he had talked about when you were both younger. The things he would smile about as you both sat on the low branch of the tree you both expertly climbed as children. What kind of girlfriend, what kind of best friend, would you be if you did get angry at that?

But your sickness had left you feeling like a child in need of comfort, and you couldn't help but feel upset about how visibly distant Namjoon had been. It was as if he was hiding something from you. It hurt that he wasn't fully trusting you.

When he noticed that you weren't going to respond, the door opened and Namjoon walked in. You looked up from your bag of clothes, looking up at your boyfriend.

"What Namjoon?" You ask, looking away. He knew what he was doing. Coming in here looking like he did, his lips slightly pursed so that his dimples would deepen. He was wearing a simple outfit, a black and white striped t-shirt, blue jeans, and his favorite pair of black high tops.

"I know you're mad at me, but there's no need for that or for you to be packing your clothes." He states. He hated when you called him by his full name when angry. He loved all the nicknames and pet names you had come up with.

You shrug, "I'm not mad at you and I'm taking these home to do laundry."

You hear him sigh and walk closer to you. You feel his arms snake around you, bringing you closer to his front. He knew you loved when he hugged you from behind. It made you smile faintly as his arms tightened around your belly.

"Don't be mad, honey." He whispers softly, his breath fanning across your neck as he brings his body down to reach your neck, where he places a soft kiss.

"You're going to get sick, Nam-" You start, trying to move out of his warm hold. You were annoyed with him, but that didn't mean you wanted him to catch whatever bug it was that you had. Of course he cuts you off, pulling you right back to him.

"I don't care." He turns you around in his arms, looking down at you.

"I do." You say, secretly enjoying how he held you.

He shrugs and chuckles, "Too bad. I want to hold my girlfriend."

You scrunch you're nose as you feel your argument crumble in your mind as he leaves a trail of soft kisses down your neck.

"Listen, I'm sorry. I know I have been distant the past few weeks. I've been dealing with some things and questioning others. I didn't realize until last night that I was distancing myself from you. That's something I never want to do. I'm sorry I made you feel like this." He says, as he looks up again, his big hands cradling your face.

You sigh looking at him. You knew he was sincere. That was something he never lacked. It was so clear in his dark eyes as he looked at you.

"It's okay, Joon. I just want you to remember that I'm here for you, okay? Just tell me whenever you're stressed out instead of pushing me away. That way I can at least try to help you and you won't be going through it alone." You respond, giving in. You touched his cheek softly, caressing the soft skin.

"I know. There's just something I've been thinking about. But I figured it out. So..." He trails off, kissing your cheek.

You giggle, "So?"

"Am I forgiven? Can we cuddle now without you wanting to slap me away?" He jokes, picking you up, his hands under your bottom.

You laugh, your arms wrapping around his neck as he carries you to the bed, nuzzling into your neck the way he did after a long day. He gently places you down, coming down with you but stopping when he was a few inches away from your face. His strong arms were at each side of your face, caging you in.

"Hey there, gorgeous." He says sweetly, making you smile. His minty breath fanned across your upper lip as he looked down at them when the corners lifted.

"Hi, handsome." You whisper, looking at his full lips. Joon's smile was the first thing you had fallen in love with.

"I really want to kiss you right now." He whispers to you, his mouth centimeters away from yours. You close your eyes as you feel him nearing, his intoxicating cologne clouding your senses, one of his hands sweetly placed on your cheek.

You hum as his mouth goes to your collarbone, lightly biting at the skin before lightly running his tongue across it. "Namjoon, you're going to get sick." You mumble as a light moan escapes.

"I don't care." He states again. As his face nears, you close your eyes, reveling in the feeling of his full, soft lips on yours. Warmth spreads through your entire body as he deepens the kiss. His hand holds your chin as his lips continue to dance with yours. Every time Namjoon kissed you, it felt like the world was stopping around the both of you, but at the same time it felt as if everything was ablaze. The passion you both shared almost inconceivable.

You open your eyes as he pulls back, both your breathing shallow. He smiles and looks down at you, the love you both felt for each other clear in his eyes.

He pecks you once and then twice as his hands come up to tickle your sides. You let out a screaming laugh as his nimble fingers continue their attack on your sides.

"I hate you." You laugh as he chuckles at your discomfort.

"No you don't. You love me." He says, falling onto the space next to you.

You turn to rest your head on his hard chest, "Sometimes." You joke. He chuckles and brings you closer to place a kiss on your hair.

"I have a surprise for you tomorrow. I've been planning it on and off for the last few weeks." He says simply, kicking off his shoes. You get up partly, resting your head on your hands that were on top of his chest. You look down at him, his eyes closed, his face peaceful.

"What surprise?" You ask, tracing the lines of his face. Your lips still stung with the electrifying sweetness of your kiss.

He chuckles, the dimples you love appearing. "It's called a surprise for a reason. It comes from the Medieval Latin word 'superprehendere' or seize; Where it was then translated to the Old French word 'surprendre'."

You rolled your eyes and smiled down at him, he enjoyed sharing his encyclopedic knowledge with you. You loved when he did so. Your boyfriend was truly a man of endless knowledge. Learning came easy to him, he craved it.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" You ask, already knowing the answer.

He shakes his head and pulls you back down to rest on his chest. His hand went to your hair, carefully running his hand through.

His steady heartbeat lulls you, and before you know it, both of you are fast asleep.

••

"Joon, can you at least tell me where we're going so I know how to dress." You tell Namjoon who was currently finishing his shower. You had woken up feeling so much better, the pain the sore throat had caused had lessened exponentially. You dared to say it had disappeared overnight.

You were sitting on the toilet with a towel wrapped around yourself, you had just finished showering and washing your hair.

"I'm not telling you what it is until we get there and you see for yourself." He answers. You could practically feel him smiling through the shower curtain. He was really enjoying this whole keeping it a surprise thing.

"Dress warmly, too. Its just us. Think of it as a casual day out." He adds.

You sigh but get up to get ready, nonetheless. You couldn't help but be excited, though. It had been a few weeks since both of you had a night out. Both of your work got in the way a lot of the times, but of course most days you both slept in the same bed. You didn't mind missing a few date nights, as long as you got to fall asleep in Namjoon's arms at night, got to hear his heartbeat as you slowly fall asleep.

You take a few minutes to get ready in where you pick out a big, fluffy, burgundy sweater and some dark ripped jeans. You finish it off with a pair of black boots. You lightly spray your wrists and neck with the perfume Joon got you as one of your Valentine's Day presents last year. He said it was his favorite scent and it reminded him of you when you were away from each other.

Namjoon comes in minutes after wearing a white woolen turtleneck, black jeans, and his favorite boots. It was a chilly day out, but it would only get chillier as it got later.

You blatantly stare at him as the same feeling you get when he kisses you starts at the pit of your stomach.

"You look so beautiful, baby." He beats you to it, coming to your side. He grabs your hand and makes you do a spin.

It didn't matter if all you had on was a pair of sweats and an old t-shirt with holes in it, or if your hair was all over the place after a night in bed with Joon. He always called you beautiful.

You laugh as he spins, "I was going to say the same thing about you. You clean up nicely, handsome." His hands rest low on your waist as he looks down at you, a bright smile on his lips.

"Stop it." He says bashfully. Even after so many years of knowing him, and four years of being in a relationship, Joon always blushed beet red when you complimented him.

"You're so cute." You giggle, lifting slightly on your toes to kiss his warm, blushing cheek. You had missed doing so.

"So, where are we going?" You say nonchalantly, kissing the exposed skin of his neck. Namjoon softly groans in your ears as you leave a trail of kisses up to his sharp jaw.

"You almost got me there. But good try. Like I said, I'm not telling you until we get there and you see for yourself." He answers, pulling slightly away.

You pout as your impromptu plan to get him to tell you where you were going, fails. He laughs and pecks your bottom lip.

"Don't pout, baby. Come on, I already put everything in the trunk of the car so you won't be able to see anything." He says, grabbing your purse from the ottoman at the foot of the bed and handing it to you.

"Okay, lets go." You say as you notice how excited he was. You decide to stop pestering him and just 'go with the flow' because you just loved that excitement in his eyes, the twinkle of it in his gaze.

You wait next to Namjoon as he locks up the apartment, holding your hand and leading you down the hall when he did so.

"I can't wait until we get there. I hope you like it." He says excitedly. You laugh admiringly at his excitement, "I'm sure whatever it is, I'll genuinely love." You tell him, slightly swinging your hands back and forth as you wait for the elevator to reach your floor.

"I hope so." He answers as he brings your hand up to kiss it.

When you are both seated in Namjoon's car a few minutes later, seatbelts buckled- he never started the car unless everyone had theirs on— is when Joon speaks.

"Road trip." He says, wiggling his eyebrows, looking at you as he turns on the radio and connects his phone to the Bluetooth. You look at him, feeling the excitement bubble in you. You finally were going to spend some needed time with him. No work to worry about, just the two of you.

You smile at him as he grabs your hand, placing it on his lap as he drove with the other.

Even though it was chilly out, the day was beautiful. All blue skies with a few scattered clouds. There was a comfortable silence in the car as a song played on the radio. It was something about your relationship you appreciated. That there could be absolute silence and neither of you felt the need to disrupt it because it was so peaceful and both of you were comfortable to just sit in each other's presence.

The thing about being Namjoon's girlfriend was that even in completely silence, he would unknowingly do little things to show he was attentive to you. The way he caressed your hand, the way he'd harmonize whatever you were disastrously singing along to, the way he'd look at you or lean over to kiss your cheek at a stop sign or light.

You sighed happily, softly rubbing your thumb on Namjoon's, feeling the chilly but soothing wind come in through the opened windows and playing with your hair, 'Frequency' by Jhené Aiko filling the car.

You went through her entire new album 'Chilombo', before you spoke up. "It's beautiful out here." You say. You had never traveled this way before, there was no need to. A while ago, wooden areas had covered both sides of the highway, deep rooted trees that had been there longer than you could imagine. All greens, oranges, and reds. But now, the woods had broken and you were driving in between green hills, a big orange and grey flat top rock in the distance.

"I knew you would like it. Me and the guys found this area a month ago. Remember when we went camping?" He asked, quickly looking at you.

You hum, remembering the very eventful camping trip the boys- Joon's best friends- and Joon had talked about for weeks after they had gotten home.

"Well, I told you we got kind of lost. But it was more like incredibly lost. You know how Yoongi and Hoseok get when they're together. Everyone was super distracted so we ended up around here and just decided to camp in the area." He explained, tapping his long fingers on the steering wheel as the car went around a bend.

Every time the boys were together, it was as if the world was ending and it was their last time together. Especially when they started their 'crackhead' behavior, as everyone whoever met them described. You had been with them for years so you had come to get used to their energy, even look forward to it.

You shake your head and laugh, imagining just how distracted they were with Yoongi, Hoseok, and Teahyung probably screaming the whole way, Jimin and Jungkook teasing each other, and Jin and Joon unintentionally acting like they were in a marriage and fathers to the rest of the group.

"We're almost there by the way." He says smiling. "It's just a little ways down."

You smile excitedly, looking around to see if you saw anything that would help you decipher where you were going. But you couldn't see anything but luscious hills and rocks and sky.

You wait until he starts slowing down the car, parking it on the side of the road in front of a hill with a pathway leading up into a wooded area.

"Oh, I see what's going on. You're going to kill me and dump my body." You say jokingly, unbuckling your seatbelt.

He looks at you, his face completely serious, "How did you know?" Your smile falters a bit before he laughs at the same time you do.

"Haha, good one." You say blandly, shoving his shoulder.

"Come on. I can't wait until you see this." He says, getting out and walking to the back of the car and opening the trunk. You follow behind.

"What are you getting out?" You ask, trying to look over his broad shoulders. You noticed him taking things out of a white cooler and into a brown picnic basket.

You realize what he was doing and stop, a warmness filling your chest. You remember a few months ago, you had been sitting in Joon's backyard watching a movie on the home made theatre Joon, the boys, and you had built days before with a white sheet and a projector, when you had expressed to him that you had never been to a picnic after he had asked you.

You couldn't imagine he had remembered something you thought had been an insignificant comment on your part.

"Oh, Joon. You remembered." You whisper.

He turns around and smiles, nodding down at you. You quickly close the space between the both of you, hugging him to your body. His warmth envelops you as he chuckles into your hair.

"Come on, I want you to see something." He says, grabbing hold of a thick blanket and putting it on top of the basket, the handles keeping it in place.

He grabs your hand and leads you to the path. It's a bit steep but you manage to both get up easily with each other's help. The area is slightly wooded and looks undisturbed except for the fresh feet prints on the path.

You walk for a few minutes, admiring the life around you. The blue sky peaks through the trees and birds call to each other, chase each other like lovers. You walk across a small bridge, a bustling stream under, splashing the wood of the bridge. You step over rocks and discarded tree limbs bigger than any you have ever seen. Then you came to a break in the trees. You couldn't see what was the through it, but you could see light and hear something that sounded very familiar. Like a big body of water crashing against rocks.

"Okay we're near, close your eyes and don't peek." He requested, taking back the blanket you had taken from him to help with the load.

You grin and close my eyes, opening one to see what he was doing. "No peeking." He quipped.

"Okay, okay. What if I fall?" You question, putting your left hand over your eyes as he take your right with his.

"I won't let you get hurt." He promises. Of course you knew that. Namjoon has kept you safe long before you even developed any romantic feelings for him. But it was fun to tease him a bit.

"Okay, there's a rock in front of you, just sidestep it. To your left." He informs you, slightly tugging you so you wouldn't trip.

"Good, baby." He says, a kiss landing on your cheek.

"Namjoon, I smell the sea." You say as soon as the salty smell of the ocean hits your nose. It was a smell you had loved since you were little. You loved the ocean, the sand. The feeling of being in another world altogether when you spent a day in the beach.

Your boyfriend hums beside you, "Do you now?"

You can almost taste the sea when Namjoon stops walking. "Okay. Wait, let me set everything up. Don't peek." He says before running off. You hear him stop a few yards away.

"Don't peek." He yells from his place. You laugh, "I promise I'm not peeking."

"I can't wait for you to see this. The guys and I discovered it and it reminded me of you." He says as you hear him shake the blanket.

"How did it remind you of me?" You ask genuinely, itching to remove your hand and open your eyes.

"You'll see." He answers a few seconds later, the rustling of plastic and containers being popped open reaching your ears.

"Okay, open them." You jump slightly as his voice comes from right next to you, closer than you thought he had been.

Namjoon grabs your hand as your eyes open and you blink away the blurriness. You gasp as you take on the view. You'd never seen something so beautiful in your entire life. It was almost as if your brain couldn't fully comprehend that what laid in front of you, was in fact real.

"It reminded me of how equally beautiful you are, if not more." He whispers your ear, placing a soft kiss there.

"Namjoon-I can't-" You stop speaking as your breath gets stuck in your throat. In front of you was the ocean at the bottom of a cliff. That was what you had heard crashing against rocks, what you had smelled. The blue sky met the water in the horizon, until you couldn't decipher which one was which. The sea was empty, no boat in sight. It looked peaceful. How was it that something that could be so destructive, also be so beautiful?

You were standing in a field just as alluring. It was full of tall flowers, little dandelions, lilies. It was a field of whites and golds and greens. You loved the way the weeds and wildflowers grew freely in the area. It truly seemed as if you were the only ones who had discovered it.

A few yards away, Joon had prepared and set the picnic. The white blanket with little black floral detailing was spread in the only flattened section of the field. It was surrounded by even more wildflowers. On top of the blanket was an assortment of food, two glass bottles of your favorite drink and two wine cups. There was a small radio playing a soft song that matched the ambience.

It felt like you were in another world. A world far away from civilization, where Namjoon and you were the only ones.

"You like it?" Namjoon's deep voice meets your ears.

You look at him, your eyes wide, your mouth agape. "Like it, Namjoon? I love it. Thank you." You look at him and smile, watching his dimples rise as he smiles back.

"Come on." He says, leading you to the blanket.

It felt like for the next few hours you could do nothing besides eat, smile, laugh, or jokingly shove Namjoon. You were happy. So happy that you had almost completely forgotten that a few days ago he had been distant. You reminded yourself to ask him about it.

Namjoon had taken a break from reading to you his new adventure, a book called The Amazons: Lives & Legends of Warrior Women Across the Ancient World by Adrienne Mayor, your head resting on his lap fully immersed in what he had been reading, when you decided to ask.

"Joon?" You say, playing with a loose thread in his jeans. "Yes, babygirl?" He answers, his eyes closed as his head faced the sky.

You smile at his pet name. You would never let anyone but the man above you call you such names. You loved when it came from him.

"Yesterday you said had been questioning some things and that's why you were distant. What have you been questioning?" You ask. You feel him tense under you. It makes you sit up. A plethora of scenarios going through your head. What if something was wrong with him? What if he was questioning your relationship?

"I've been meaning to talk about this with you for a long time. Don't look like that baby, it's nothing bad." He says pulling you to his side.

"Come on, let's go for a bit of a walk." He adds, getting up and holding his hand out to pull you up.

You take his warm hand and walk where he was leading you. Closer to the sea.

(A/N: Play the next song now and listen to it as you imagine yourself sitting in the cliff from the fifth picture with Namjoon, the sea under you, the sky full of the colors that come with the sunset)

You walked across the field and closer to the edge where you both sat down looking over at the view. It was truly stunning. The ocean lapped peacefully at the rocks under you. The sun had begun to set a few minutes ago so the sky was bleached a harmony of pinks, blues, and oranges. Behind you both, the radio had started to play Instagram by Dean. You felt truly at peace. You had the person you loved most in the world next to you, sharing this magical moment with you.

You look next to you, hoping to see Namjoon as transfixed with the scene as you were. But he seemed tense, frightened even.

"What's wrong, Joon?" You ask him, caressing his cheek.

"We've been together for so long. You know my heart belonged to you from the moment I came back from Korea five years ago. But it belonged to you way before that, even when we were friends. Do you remember how my mom would say we were meant to meet, that it was our destiny?" He asked, turning his whole body to look at you.

You nod, there was something in the air, something that was telling you not to speak, to listen.

The time when Joon went to Korea for three years was the moment you realized that you didn't see him just as a best friend, the feelings that had been locked inside you wanted to do nothing but kiss Namjoon, make him happy, spend your days with him. You realized that your heart had left with him. Had been ripped out of your chest the moment you saw that plane take off. The moment you realized that it wasn't a vacation, that he was really staying oversees, your feelings became clear then. You loved Namjoon. You were in love with him, with everything about him.

When they were in the airport, Namjoon's mother had seen how distraught you both were. She was a spiritual woman who believed in spirits, auras, etc. She had told you both that your destinies were intertwined, starting when you both met, tied together, for all eternity. For some time Namjoon and you thought it was just a mother trying to console her child and a girl she had seen grow up.

"She was right. I can feel it. I know you can, too. I can see it in the way you look at me, the way you care for me. I can see it in your selfless actions, the way you support my dreams even though sometimes you can't see me for days. I feel it in the way I can't imagine myself with someone that isn't you. I can't imagine ever ending what we have, waking up to someone who isn't you or even sharing my bed with someone besides you. I can't see myself laughing with anyone else while they cook breakfast, I can't see myself reading my books to someone else. I can't imagine myself making love to anyone else. I can't see myself growing old with someone who isn't you, love.

But that's the thing. It's not just that I can't. I won't. I won't love anyone else as much as I love you. I won't spend the rest of my life with someone who isn't you. This decision was easy for me to make, I knew as soon as it came to my head that I was going to ask you. But I was scared. Then I noticed my fears were making me do the opposite of what I wanted to do and grow distant from you. But I'm sure now. This is what I want. What I need." He finishes. Your eyes water at the sincerity and raw emotion in his voice.

You understood everything he said because you felt the same way. When you thought of the future, Namjoon was always by your side. It didn't matter how far into the future it was- five years, ten, or twenty years- he was always there at your side, smiling with those dimples that you would never give up seeing.

"What-?" You mutter, wanting to ask him what he meant by all of this, already having a clue, already feeling the excitement and pure love surround your heart, but he cuts you off.

"Marry me, love." He continues, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a little, black velvet box. "Spend the rest of your life with me."

15 notes · View notes

yeols-baekhoes · 5 years

Text

Goodbye Kyungsoo...

Thus was born the fluff...

Rated: UFT for Ultimate Fluff Trash, NTG for Not That Good.

Concept: Y/N and Kyungsoo share a moment on his enlistment day.

Word count: 1628

Me explaining to my mother why I’ve been upset.

———

Your feet were hugged against you as the breeze of the slightly cool summer wind danced around you. It seemed as if everything around you sang, a symphony of nature’s most spectacular little things maintaining a steady harmony of perfection. It was still dark but the sky around you had begun to morph slowly so the once dark blue sky began to become lighter.

Kyungsoo had brought you to his— and yours— favorite lookout spot early in the morning to watch the sunrise one more time. Everything was quieter than usual, the bustle of people getting to work had not started and you thanked the heavens that it would remain like that for a little while longer. This moment was so special, something you wanted to remember for the next two years, keep it etched on your brain, painted on the canvas of your thoughts and memories like a priceless work of art.

You were supposed to be watching the sun in front of you as it rose to it’s beautiful grandeur, the earth’s palette of pinks and oranges following close behind. But you couldn’t. You couldn’t concentrate. All you could think about was the man next to you. He looked exactly the same and yet completely different than he did when you met him five years ago. But the person next to you was no longer the naive boy that you had a crush on years before. This was the man you loved, the man who would build a family with you, the man who you would move to the country with so he could farm until his hands grew tough and cracked, the man who in a few hours would head out to become a warrior for his country.

He was invited to many celebrations, most of them hosted by his job but also by his best friends, the boys he had grown up with, who were more like his brothers. He would meet the other seven guys later to get a couple of drinks and laugh like boys about everything and anything. It was the type of goodbye he wanted, not some flashy, over the top party where he would have to shake hands or bow respectfully and memorize names so his boss didn’t look bad. The guys and you— the only people besides his parents that knew the real Kyungsoo— knew that the best thing was a small get together where they could be together one last time.

He must have felt you looking at him because he turned his head and looked you straight in the eyes, a small smile gracing his pink lips. The smile he gave you every morning you woke up next to him. The smile he gave you when you tasted something new he had cooked. The smile that would melt your heart every single time it was directed at you.

“Y/N, you’re supposed to be watching the sunrise. Not me.” He said, a chuckle escaping his lips. He came even closer, noticing the small goosebumps on your arms and legs. His arm came around you and pulled your body closer, providing the warmth of the jackets you had both forgotten at home.

You sighed as you cuddled into his side, remembering all the nights where he had made you explode in bliss, only to have you cuddled to his side like this the very next second. It was the place where you felt safe. Where you felt cherished and valued. He was your home. And he was leaving.

You didn’t notice yourself sniffle as tears fell down your cheeks.

Kyungsoo tensed and looked down at you, a wrinkle in between his eyebrows. The same wrinkle you smoothed with your thumb whenever he was angry or agitated or worried.

But this time, you were too heartbroken to do so.

“Y/N.” He whispered, a small mutter that only you and him could hear. Like a secret shared between the both of you. A secret that would forever remain in this moment of sunrises and morning summer breezes.

“Sunshine.” He said, moving so that he was sitting in front of you, holding your wet face in his soft hands.

You made an ugly sound in the back of your throat. A combination of a laugh and a sob.

“I know you’re sad, Y/N. I know you’ve been pretending that everything was fine while you kept things to yourself because you think that makes it easier for me to go. Look, sunshine. I know what’s going on. It’s okay for you to cry. No one will judge you. It’s okay to not be okay some days. This being one of those days.” He said softly, tucking a piece of hair that had fallen out of your loose braid behind your ears.

You let go of a shaky breath that brought more tears down your cheeks.

“I’m going to miss you, Soo. I’m going to miss waking up to you every single morning. I’m going to miss the way you laughed at the guys’ dumb jokes. I’m going to miss the little glare you make when you forget to put on your contacts. The one that made everyone start calling you Satan-soo. I’m going to miss you singing to me, playing your secret songs that you keep hidden from everyone. I’m going to miss our late night conversations when we weren’t able to sleep. I’m going to miss our conversations about anything and everything we thought to talk about. Our conversations about the galaxy, the universe, the stars, everything in between. The ones about our future, about recipes you wanted to try.”

“I’m just going to miss you. The way you treated me like I was the only person in the world. The way you make me feel unlike any other human being on this planet. I’m going to miss you taking a thousand pictures every time I dressed up. I’m going to miss how despite your seriousness, you’re just the biggest teddy bear there ever was.”

You laugh a watery laugh, and even though your heart is breaking, you feel happiness rush through your body as you remember all the sweet moments you’ve shared with Kyungsoo.

He remained quiet, an expression you’ve never seen before, clear in his chocolate eyes. Even though you were blabbering, he knew it all had a purpose. So he let you continue.

“I’m going to miss your soft humming when we laid together after making love. The way you’d run your fingers through my hair. They way you wake me up with a kiss even though I told you about a million times to stop because I have terrible morning breath. I’m going to miss seeing how amazing you are with others. How you would do anything for the ones you love. I’m going to miss you making fun of my incompetency in the kitchen while you created five star, three course meals for us.”

A laugh escaped his lips as you conclude your impromptu speech. He knew how bad you were in the kitchen. The only thing you knew how to make was spaghetti. And you burned the water the first few times you made it.

He exhaled softly, before laying back and asking you to do the same.

“If I were to tell every single thing I’m going to miss about you, I’ll miss my enlistment time by days. But I’ll try.”

“When we were friends at the start of our relationship, you used to be so different. You were quieter, you didn’t think you were as beautiful as you truly are. I know you used to beat yourself up for the smallest of things. And even in this time of darkness you were the light that I needed. I’m going to miss how, no matter what mood you’re in, what type of darkness you’re in, you always are the light that someone needs. I’m going to miss your lips. And how they smiled at the smallest things life has to offer. I’m going to miss how your eyes change color and how they light up when you help someone. I’m going to miss the little things about you.”

“The way you snore in your sleep but swear up and down that you don’t. I’m going to miss how you cuddled up to me in the mornings because you were cold because you won’t sleep without the A/C on. I’m going to miss how you would sit on our stools and watch me cook, writing stuff down. I’m going to miss the way your body felt under mine. I’m going to miss every moan, every hum and whimper that would escape your lips even when you tried to be quiet. I’m going to miss talking to you every day. I’m going to miss singing my music and getting your honesty. I’m going to miss having to have a fire extinguisher with me every time you step into the kitchen.”

Your smiles grew and you kissed his chest, laying your ear to it so that you could hear his lulling heartbeat.

“The reason why I tell you this is not to make you sad, but to bring back memories of our time together. No distance or amount of time can change that Y/N. Nothing can erase these memories we have.”

You look up at the sky, as birds around you become louder.

In that moment you knew in your heart that no matter what happened, no matter where he went, no matter the time he was away, Kyungsoo would return to you.

And as the sun rose higher, both of you would whisper I love you’s to each other basking in the last shared rays of sunshine for some time.

4 notes · View notes