your-mum-friend

[your-mum-friend]

Take care of yourself!

Are you sure you drank enough today? Cause drinking is very important.

[your-mum-friend]

On relationships

First of all: promoting rape culture in any way is not good! If you want to write, draw or tell anything about different power dynamics in different kind of relationships that's totally fine, but please don't sell them as love stories if you are promoting relationships that are not safe, sane and consentual. Those three things matter!

I am fully aware that in real life relationships (platonic, sexual or otherwise) are not perfect. Most of the time one person has more power in a relationship that the other. But if you form a relationship on an action you did when you were in emotional distress, that is not consent! You can't give consent to anything! That's why different forms of emotional and psychological distress are named in the ICD10! The international classification of diseases! Which is why most of the time, in a court of law, if you did something and you can proof that you were in emotional distress, almost always your sentence is reduced! I am not making this up!

If you are pressured to do something, like have sex, while you are completely out of it because you are sad, because you are angry, because why ever!, than you can not make a decision. You can not consent if you are in any kind of distress! Only yes means yes! (Unless you are into kinky stuff, which is totally fine, if you talked about it beforehand and have safe words. But than consent was given but can always be taken away!)

If you change your mind while doing something that is also valid and saying no at any point is always fine. Consent can be given and can be taken away.

And use protection!

#consent #relationships

[your-mum-friend]

About inspiration (and music)

I think it's very important to find things, tiny things, that inspire you and give your beautiful thoughts. For me that is often music but sometimes beautiful books (or fanfic) or other things.

I know a lot of songs (from different genres) that remind me of different things that I love. For example a song by a certain ginger about flowers reminds me a lot of an aunt that passed a few years ago when the song came out. The songs reminds me of how much I loved her and that differences don't have to mean that you have to argue about something. It reminds me of acceptance and beauty.

Of course there are a lot of other songs that inspire me and remind me of things and people I love. Different songs often inspire different emotions and because of that songs can help you when you are down. Either they help you because they make you feel understood, since other people feel that way too and write songs about it, or they help you because they remind you of other things and emotions.

But I think it's funny that some songs are able to inspire you even though you never felt that way. They let you connect through empathy, because empathy is such an amazing and beautiful ability that connects all of us. And that in itself is inspiring as well.

#inspriation #ramblings #rambling into the abyss

[your-mum-friend]

Pro-tip* for having your period

Since I first got my period I had a lot of pain, lost a lot of blood and learned a lot about myself.

First of all: I got my period a little late. Not super late but every other girl in my class already had their period and I felt weird. So I joked that since I had a lot of nose bleeds I was probably just loosing enough blood already and my body didn't care which hole the blood was exiting.

After quite a while I realized that my period was more or less always around the same time, always around the last week of the month, even though it was never a perfect cycle where I could tell that it was so-and-so many days long. And I realized that only the first 12-24 hours are hell (for me).

After a few years and a lot of different diets I realized my period doesn't really change because of food, but it does change with water and health. When I drink enough and am always well hydrated I don't have that much pain and I don't feel icky (that much). For me that translates to drinking at least 3 liters of water a day.

Once I got more comfortable with my body (I still don't like it, but I'm okay with it), I got more comfortable testing different things out about taking care of the messy business during my period. I found out which hygiene products I found more comfortable and which I don't like. Right now I basically use everything. When I feel lazy and know I will stay the day at home I usually use pads. When I am working and know I won't have much time to take care of myself I use a cup. But I always have some tampons at home (and in my handbag) for emergencies or when I have a day where I don't feel like shoving something as big as a cup up my private parts. This system helps me be more relaxed and keeps more options open.

I started trimming my pubic hair once a month. Because having dried blood anywhere is not a nice feeling. Or smell. Or hygienic.

I usually carry wet wipes with me when I'm on my period because I feel so much better when I can quickly clean myself up a little. Sometimes that feeling is all it takes to save your day.

When you are feeling really uncomfortable with your body during your period, you need to find a way to relax. One way to do it is to mastubate. I know that it's a little messy but your body will relax and you might even get rid of pains.

*What I'm trying to tell you is not how to behave during YOUR period but how I learned to better deal with mine. Because it always sucks even on the good days. But every body is different and what works for me doesn't have to work for you.

#self care #period problems #periods #shark week

[your-mum-friend]

On over-eating

I had neurodermatitis* since I was 7.

Since no-one really explained it to my parents, my parents thought it was some kind of allergic reaction to sugar, so I wasn't allowed to eat any sweets and candy. They would hide everything they thought I shouldn't eat and take it away if I found anything. I was only ever allowed to eat sweets on vacation and birthday parties.

Because of that I started spending all my pocket money on sweets and soda and I would eat them all in one sitting behind my parents back. Another friend (who wasn't allowed to eat much sweets because her mother was and is a little crazy about diets) and I would spend 20 bucks of sugary foods and drinks, make a picnic where we would eat everything in half an hour.

My behaviour didn't change because I was shamed for craving something that I wasn't allowed to have. I would always feel so bad, which would fuel my depression, worsen my skin condition and in turn let my mother be even stricter about food. Then I would try even harder to get the forbidden fruit and eat even more. So as soon as my depression reached unbearable heights I became overweight. I had always been on the heavier side, maybe even chubby, but being "fat" hurt me so much mentally that I spiralled down further.

Only after I moved out and was able to spend a lot of money on unhealthy food, things started to change. But the only reason anything changed is because I started normalising sweets in my life. I would almost always have something in my home. But since it was always there and I started carrying a small box of mixed sweets with me, I didn't feel like I had to finish it. There was no longer a traitorous bag or wrapper to hide. I could just eat some and get back to it later, if I wanted to.

At some point I stopped having the feeling that every bite of chocolate was shameful and being able to enjoy food again.

I still feel bad when I over-eat, but it doesn't happen that often anymore.

I still sometimes eat just because I'm stressed or unhappy, but I don't feel compelled to do it anymore.

Basically what I'm trying to say is: don't shame anyone for wanting (to eat) something. We all are different with different cravings and a different history. You don't know why someone's body is the way it is. Maybe it's their fault but most likely it's not. Sure, they could work out, but maybe they don't have the strength to do that. Maybe it takes all their strength to stay alive right now. Or maybe they just don't feel like it. Which is both fine, by the way.

Normalize yourself! Normalize your life! Normalize every aspect of life.

It will be hard. But you can do it!

(* Neurodermatitis is basically a shitty thing that gives you really dry and itchy skin sometimes to the point of almost ulcerating. It can be quite painful and at some point most people start subconsciously scratching themselves until they bleed without realising. It is caused by being unable to cope with something. When you're in a good place it gets better, when you're in a bad place it gets worse. It's chronic and like painting your bad phases onto your skin; with scars.)

#over eating #overweight #normalize yourself #normalize life #over-eating #self hate #neurodermatitis #don't shame anyone for anything

[your-mum-friend]

y’all make sure you date someone that cares about your mental health pls

[your-mum-friend]

Taking care of yourself

Often in life you will be stressed out. You will want to just run away from everything and most likely procrastinate because you feel you can't get your feet back on the ground. Since I'm currently learning to become a social care worker, I have a lot of those phases. Life gets annoying and especially in those stretches of life it is important to take care of yourself!

One of the things I enjoy doing then is talking with my friends. But since my social battery is often exhausted because of work, I don't always feel like meeting them. But sending them a quick text is always possible.

Another thing I love to do to relax is grab a book or a magazine and sit in a café. The smells alone help me relax since I always connected the smell of coffee with calmness and a happy day.

If you have a calendar schedule a date with yourself. Get back in touch with your mind and body. Be around things that calm you and do a tiny thing that helps you get back in touch with your happiness.

And don't forget to drink and eat enough!

(When you are stressed your body is trying to prepare you for fight and flight so it needs more intake then when you are just chilling out. Yoghurt drinks are really good, even if you don't feel like eating, because they hydrate and give you some sugar and minerals. If you want it to help even more add a small pinch of salt.)

#self care #stressed out #get in touch with yourself #relax

[your-mum-friend]

I’m just speaking from personal experience but…

I’d like to give a shout out to the mom friends, the kitchen witches, the friends who always have their door open. To provide a warm cup of tea, or a fresh bowl of soup, for those who need a shoulder to cry on. The one’s who’s home is always warm and welcoming.

I think the reason why we love to care so much. And to surround our loved ones with such warmth. Is because it’s something that’s been greatly lacking in the majority of our own lives. And we don’t want anyone to go through that.

[your-mum-friend]

#makeup

[your-mum-friend]

Random reminder that if you're in need of some comfort talk, expression of mom love, support and encouragement, my dm are open

I'm a mom, I love everyone, and if you need someone I'd be there. Specially if you're a lgbt+ (kid, or not, adults need mom love too). No judgment, no question if you don't want to talk about what's wrong, just some love, it's okay. If you want to talk about your last tv show obsession? Tell me more. About the story you don't know how to write down? I write poetry, maybe I could help. About the one you fall in love with? You're more than welcome.

Anything. I'll be there.

#mom friend

[your-mum-friend]

Guys, reblog this if you're the mom friend, and put your sign in the tags.

I'm trying to prove a point to someone.

#Leo #mom friend

[your-mum-friend]

I used to not really understand why Toriel called everyone "my child" but like... I get it now. I'd call a child who I just met after they fell down a mountain "my child" too. In fact, I'll call Chara and Asriel my children, too.

My mutuals? My children. My friends? My children. My siblings? My children. My own parents? My children.

No one can stop me. I am the mom friend, and you are all my children.

[your-mum-friend]

Back on my bullshit: mom friend flag

Tan is for bandaids and snacks

Peach is for love

Light pink is for second hand embarrassment

Lilac is for comfort

Purple is worry for their dumb friends

Blue is for their brain cells

[your-mum-friend]

You did good

I think people don't get enough compliments. So let me give you one: I think you did a good job today! I really like how you handled that one situation, you know the one I'm talking about. I'm proud of you!

#softness #you did good #mom friend

[your-mum-friend]

Lending eachother a hand

As a woman in today's society I often hear how women have to stick together and lift eachother up so that we all can be powerful women.

I think that's bullshit. Not just women should lift eachother up and support eachother. Support everyone that is important to you! Support your guy friends, support your girl friends, support you Mom, support your cat, support your dog!

Because singling women out is also sexism!

#support your friends #love is love