agentsofshitposts - Tumblr blog

Agent of Shitposting

AoS blog that looks for the funny side of the show and ignores everything else. Spoilers tagged as "#aos spoilers" and "#agents of shield spoilers".

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agentsofshitposts · 3 days

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well well well if it’s not the bitch who said they were done w marvel crawling back the second wolverine said “fuck” (the bitch is me)

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agentsofshitposts · 29 days

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HEYOOO

#nostalgia

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agentsofshitposts · 2 months

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CHLOE BENNET AS DAISY JOHNSON IN AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. SEASON TWO

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agentsofshitposts · 2 months

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Hello, tumblr.

I was laid off of work in August. I have been trying to apply to jobs which is frustrating while working on getting my legal name changed and suffering through being deadnamed in background checks and interviews.

Since then, I've been trying to keep my head afloat with my severance, savings, and unemployment, and bills are mounting up. The severance and savings have been drained dry. I am currently in school as well, though that is fully paid for. I have just been slapped with an additional $500 insurance payment that's due, and I need a little bit of help.

This will help with feeding the cats, myself and pay for additional needs like litter; the insurance has to be paid for me to have a registered vehicle in my state and I need the car to look for work.

While I live with my parents, they are also strapped for cash, as the upstairs office ceiling is falling in and we're scrambling to get that repaired, along with the electrical due to a squirrel infestation.

If you would like a tarot reading or a rune casting (I do both on a semi-amateur level), I would be happy to do so for a donation. Please also don't feel like you have to request one, any help is accepted, I would just like to pay people back somehow, that's all.

Tarot spreads are simple question, 3 card spreads. Rune castings are the same, though they're a little more nuanced. (Please note that these are for entertainment value only, and you get what you give out of these, usually.)

Please keep your questions open-ended, and I will draw for you, document, and send you a private reading either via email or messenger (however you are most comfy!)

Payment can be made several ways: paypal - https://www.paypal.com/paypalme/lywinis CashApp - $lywinis Ko-Fi - https://ko-fi.com/lywinis

You should note that Ko-Fi takes a chunk out of that and it does go to paypal anyway, but you will be anonymous through that if you would prefer.

If you don't want to or are unable to donate any money, a moment of your time reblogging is also greatly appreciated. Thank you all.

If you don't want to see these types of posts, please block the #mutual aid tag, as that's my standard, ty.

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agentsofshitposts · 2 months

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“Last minute costume change” or “Why that suit looked so huge on Phil”

“You don’t understand, my suits fit me too well.”

“And that’s a problem?” “Yes, Jasper. I can’t come off right away as an agent, I have to approach Stark casually. If I come at him as some kind of government agent, he’ll be suspicious. It’s a corporate event, I have to look like just another schmuck in a suit, and the more ill-fitting it is, the better. It’ll give me an edge.” Phil was frowning as he closed his locker. Turning to the younger agent, he eyed him. “Do you have an extra?”

“Of course, but you know we’re both about the same size. Mine won’t look much different on you.” Sitwell leaned against the other lockers as Phil grunted. This was a time sensitive assignment, and Coulson due at the event in less than an hour. “And before you try and track him down, neither will Blake’s.”

“Hey, what about John?” Jasper nodded at the field agent that had just walked into the space. “He’s bigger than us. You’d be swimming in his clothes.”

Phil considered it, looking over Agent John Garrett. Garrett was making strides as a combat field agent, taking down well known problematic individuals, seemingly every other week.

“…. I don’t even know if he has a suit here,” Phil finally said, looking back at Jasper. “He’s not exactly the suit type of agent.”

“Couldn’t hurt to ask, right? Hey John!” Jasper called out, catching the other man’s attention. Phil winced, fighting the urge to glare at Jasper. “You got a dress suit? And maybe a tie?”

Garrett nodded, and tossed down his black duffel bag. “’Course. Gimme a second.” From his locker, he yanked out a crumpled mess of clothes and brought it over, mostly navy. “Got a shirt too.” He glanced between the two, eyebrows lifting. “Why?”

Phil gingerly took the pile from him. “Need a different one than mine.” He extracted the jacket and smoothed it out. His expression went immediately from neutral to horrified. The proportions were off, and even on John, it would fit terribly. And the style was … horrendous. “This … this is a terrible suit, John,” he said, voice pained. “…..How can you wear this?”

“I don’t.” John scratched his chin idly. “Well… ‘cept when I gotta go in front of one of those SHIELD court things. You know, when you mess up a mission.” A smirk stretched over his face. “But yanno… I do so damn well, that don’t happen very often.”

Jasper snorted. “Thanks, he’ll bring it back when he’s done with it.” John shrugged a shoulder and moved back to his locker.

“…. I can’t wear this, Jasper.” Phil gave his friend a pained looked. “It’s … It’s…”

“Exactly what some some terrible corporate schmuck would wear? A badly fitting, badly styled suit and tie? Exactly the kind that wouldn’t set off the radar of Tony Stark or anyone who works for him?” A little smile came over Jasper’s face.

Phil sighed, shoulders slumping a little. “…..Yeah. It’s …. perfect.”

Perfectly awful.