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gettem!
The image used to create IMAGE_DEPTHS was recently found!
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Welcome to episode 5555 of the Inter-Universal Cooking Show! Today we will be making a Immortality Potion! Keep in mind that you will need to drink a full bottle of this every new moon in your home timeline to keep it.
Anyway, onto the ingredien-
-d voila! An Immortality Potion!
...
What do you mean the entire episode was overtaken by technical difficulties, why didn't you tell me!?
… Unfortunately it appears that this episode will need to be redone at a later date as this one has been overtaken by technical difficulties. Sorry for the inconvenience.
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get booped on
and uh happy birthday to me
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dnd adventures 44
heading back to town. cam being dragged by dess. vani is happily dancing around the kids cause he missed them. the missing people are back in town cool. dans nudges undyne and points them out. undyne goes up to him and asks him wtf. 'what mansion?' undynes pissed lol. he has no idea lol. undyne goes to grab a poster but theres someone taking them down.
she grabs them and shows the dude his own poster. he just walks away lol. undyne just gives up lol. inferno sets the papers on fire. cam pets temmie like a good parent. dans asks them what their gonna name them. dess says we could abandon it into a pit. cam is freaking out lol. dess says that makes sense cause dead kids. dess just holds cam in the air lol.
cam hands dans the baby while they struggles against dess. he takes a sheet out of his bag and wraps them to keep them warm. hes showing frog the baby awww. dans helps frog hold the baby safely. dans asks dess to put cam down and she lowers them to the ground but still held on xD
cam is still stuck lol. dans says they could just slip out of their shirt so they do so xD dans turns frog around. cam scrambles over and dans gives them a towel. dess puts cams shirt back on them xD undyne offers to take care of it oh no. now theres an argument lol. dess lifts cam again so they can hit inferno. cam wonders if the baby got cursed with us too. dans asks moss-god. moss says their pretty self sufficient. guess their not attached.
undyne still wants to take it lol. dess asks mossgod if they laid the egg xD not even moss messes with eeby deeby lol. cam says were helping undyne with the temmie lol. dans sighs and helps undyne to properly hold a child. temmie makes a high pitched noise lol. undyne hands the baby back and she turns her cape into a baby hammock nice. give frog the baby when fights start. dans says they need a name.
Tennis? no. dess wants to hold the baby cmon undyne. motherly instincts? XD undyne you dont know what your doing. suzy and inferno walked off oh no. dans points out we need to get baby stuff. dess accidentally drops lore of raising a few kids wow. she looks the baby in the face. she says were naming it Emil. everyone ignores undyne we like Emil. frog says they can have 2 names. undyne grumbles she doesnt have a last name.
she wants to call his last name razer. no. absolutely not. 'undyne this is a person not a pet.' were bullying undyne cmon. Tennis Rasor. undyne thats awful. dess goes up to tori and says something in sylvain.
finally realize suzy and inferno are gone xD time to find em! their in a cafe xD tori's gonna watch them while dans and undyne go find baby stuff. everyone else is going shopping! we find a shop! dans tells frog to get clothes.
cam and dess go to a bar! its full of old men xD the bartender looks at them and asks where their from. dess is like dont worry about it xD 'i dont get out much' 'i can tell' dess wtf xD ales, to cure what 'ales' you. a farmer walks up to them and talks about missing cattle. cam asks about them naturally. somethings been eating them and its unusual. dess says thats rough buddy xD
guess cam and dess are just. going to do it themselves. dans has gotten some baby stuff nice. frog couldnt find any baby clothes rats. undyne somehow found some, wtf. dans buys it and time to meet up. suzy and inferno are still eating eggs lol. dans and the gang walk in. cmon guys time to go!
we dont know where cam or dess are. dans says if he was dess he'd go get high or drink. they find the bar and ask if theyve seen then. cam and dess are still going to fix cows. dans gets directions so off they go.
dess and cam investigation! dess sees something slithering around. they carefully walk up to it. great they found a giant snake.
we stop here cause uhhh stuff
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dnd adventures 43
inferno is out of eeby deeby oh no. he immediately starts ransaking the bedroom of course. next morning everyone gets up. dans is taking a fancy shower. cam is singing in the bathtub. undyne wakes up and prepares to kill lol. tori heads out walking looking for people.
we spent a LONG time arguing how undyne is evil cause she enjoys killing evil people xD
undyne runs into tori in the hallway. says they gotta kill that one dude. dans comes out of the shower now its dess's turn. dans resumes ransacking the room. undyne tells tori shes gonna try again cause missing people. tori says theres a smarter way to do this. make them drop their guard. undyne actually agrees? having each others backs nice.
undyne remembers tori wasnt there and tells tori what happaned last night. they think it was doc lol. cam gets out of the bath looking like a sad cat. cam sees undyne in the hallway and is gay lol. cam reminds undyne theyve disassociated before the fight wasnt cause of the doc. 'it sorta snowballed' says tori. undyne seems disappointed it was one of cams episodes and not mind control.
but why did dess try to attack the naked guy? cam says dess was talking to a familiar 'someone.' so who knows. 'why did you go down there with doc?' 'why dont we stop talking for a while.'
dess gets out of the shower. dans asks how shes feeling. 'damp' 'thats valid.' out into the hallway they go. waving to undyne. undyne bolts towards him oh no. he stances up. she scoops him up and hoists him in the air lol. gotta ask dess some questions. undyne is now holding dans like a football lol.
dess says cam tried to murder her with a halberd but says its ok lol. undyne wants to know about the voices and attacking the big guy. dans gives cam one of the shampoos he stole lol. 'hes a weird naked guy!' 'what did you do with that guy we rezzed?' undyne left him alone wtf. going to check on him quick. hes just zoned out, traumatized from dying lol. well come back for him later lol.
back to the gang! undyne finally puts dans on the ground again lol. dans comments on cams nice new clothes they got out of a closet. undyne also says they look nice. dans asks cam if undyne would look nice in that shirt xD undyne says she wouldnt mind wearing it but its not good armor.
back to dess weird voices. 'uhhhhh no.' 'are you sure?' 'yeah.' cam goes wtf. dess claims to not have heard anything. undyne says sus lol. she uses zone of truth on dess oh no. dess succeeds the save. undyne grumbles. forget about this for now lol. cam says undyne has less morals than she thinks she does. tori and dans pass the save cam fails xD
dans elbows cam and asks what they think of undyne wearing docs outfit. cam fuckin covers their mouth and flees! tori asks if theyve seen inferno and dess says hes still in eeby deeby. the butler shows up and says he showed up last night then left. undyne asks where he is.
undyne looks for good and evil and busts down doors shes going to kick his ass. hes making annoyed sounds and he comes out with a towel on his head. no face punches this time, progress!
looking for doc downstairs. there he is. cam waves and he waves back. inferno is making fun of his outfit wtf. he strips even more wtf. inferno attacks him but nothing happens. he asks if we want to stay for breakfast and just walks away. its just a single pancake. pebble is here just waving.
dess examines the meat. we all keep checking. its not people calm down. inferno eats it anyway lol. so does tori and cam. doc asks if we dont like the food. dess asks what the food is made of. 'is it dick meat?' tori and cam choke lol. dans asks dess if shes eaten a lot of dick meat. doc says its not dick meat lol. it COULD be if we wanted it too wtf.
inferno just. leaves. he cant handle this. he cant open the front door and goes back to eat. he goes back to break a window and throws an egg at it. it leaves a weird creature on the window?! inferno flees back to the kitchen. the cat is there in his seat. he moves them outta da way. inferno tries to feed the cat.
doc wants to show us his new machine. no we dont wanna see your weird sex device. 'who said anything about that?' bruh. guess were going anyway. The Medusa. we turn into statues great. we had makeup put on us before turning to normal. pebble is there dressed up. were in a weird theatre. cabaret club.
doc shows up hes about to sing wtf. we just get off the stage. undyne goes up and stabs him. inferno also fireballs him. he looks at the sword and huffs in annoyance. he pulls out a random knife and stabs himself?! undyne takes damage?! undyne jumps away while inferno does his thing. we have to harm ourselves to hurt him.
undyne asks what he did with the missing people but he doesnt respond so the attacks continue. we can also attack each other great. cam straight up give inferno their halberd and tells them to do their worst. they want to be beheaded?! cam revifify doesnt regrow body parts! it briefly looks beheaded but then is normal and docs head falls clean off!
2 weirdos burst in, see doc dead, and kinda just leave. undyne crushes his head. theres no kidnapped people they went home. we exit the house. eddie is standing there. the kids are back! the building is gone. the little creature from the egg is a tiny temmie and cam has it. heading back toward town. inferno tells them what happaned lol.
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dnd adventures 42
dess says this house was pointless where tf is sunnie. dans says he might have ditched us. 'how likely is he to get kidnapped or walk into mysterious doors?' gonna check the hotel for sunnie. no california girls today :(
hotel guy hasnt seen him hmm. dans says to check the bookshop for him. we get there and dont see him. dans asks a worker but they havent seen him either. so he either ditched us or died somewhere. suzy says he might be in eeby deeby. filing a missing person in this world is a crapshoot.
back to soupnik. we land in GreenKeep. frog asks to explore with suzy. dess says thats a bad idea. tori looks at dans for a second and says they should take vani with.
dess is going to look for anything interesting. a town notice board with a lot of missing people on it. they disappeared in the woods. dess takes a flier and goes to find us.
inferno looks for weed lol. he finds an apothecary. dans flirts with tori and cam flirts with undyne xD inferno is stealing weed i think xD he runs! his cat finds him and meows at him xD give the cat weed!
dess shows us the missing poster oh no. the kids come running back and they have cake? there was a wedding i guess. inferno comes back with weed lol. guess were going into the woods great.
it stars raining, boo. we see a light up ahead great. we go to it. theres a big ass mansion in the woods. frog just goes right up to the door with undyne xD some bald hunchback opens the door. he just says were wet wtf. dess asks if he knows about missing people. kay guesses were in rocky horror i guess.
he just moves out of the way to let us in without saying anything. dans just walks in and moss has to eeby deeby the kids cause uh rocky horror aint a kids movie lol. everyone follows dans. theres a party their doing the time warp. some of the dancers are from the missing person board lol. cam joins the dancing.
cam looks at dess and says they dont like her oh no! someone tries to drag undyne into the dance but no dice. she grabs cam telling them not to dance with them and cam says they cant ask questions if they dont participate. all the dancers pass out on the floor?
the bald guy says the master will see us now and just goes upstairs. dess is smoking weed. undynes ready to KILL. here comes rocky! cam asks where they got their clothes xD its cams fashion taste apparently xD undyne says you dont wear that in public and rocky just looks at her funny xD
undyne points her sword and asks what hes doing. he ignores her and tells cam he makes his own clothes. undyne says his clothes suck and everyone yells at her. tori asks him for his name xD cam wants to commission him for clothes xD he tells tori they can call him Doctor Bangers n Mash wtf. He starts casting magic and has lightning in his hands and slams them on a tank. theres a beautful blond man in the tank and he just sits up??? ive never seen rocky horror wtf.
hes naked?! dans is not averting his eyes xD the blond guy is named Pebble i guess this is rocky. dess goes to find a way into eeby deeby for some reason. she noclips through a wall wtf. shes in the backrooms! anyway the lab doors open a guy comes in and says doc stole his brain? wtf is going on.
undynes losing patience and threatens doc. 'whatever do you mean darling?' he claims to not know any people. shes so mad shes gonna try and toss him down the stairs. he says shes very strong very flirtily tone wtf. cam agrees xD
dess in the backrooms vaguely hears undyne tossing doc down some stairs lol. doc gets up and casually brushes himself off. no people here. undyne tries to hit him with her sword but nothing happens. he smirks and says she can find out. undyne asks tori to hit him with lightning.
tori hits him and yet nothing happens. she slumps back like wtf. undyne puts her sword away and just starts hitting him. he looks vaguely amused. dans wont fire cause uh nothing works. dans comments that dess went through a wall we should be more concerned? doc just starts walking up the stairs lol. cam says undyne is quite spirited. undyne throws him back down the stairs lol. doc says he has important matters in his lab.
cam asks IF they were even kidnapped. dans says he was missing for years and wasnt kidnapped. undyne is just upset. she starts dragging him outside. cam grabs undynes shirt trying to stop her. doors locked. undyne cant open it and doc just looks bored. cam fucking asks him he could be commissioned xD
undyne tosses him at a window but he just bounces off. she pouts and gives up shes so pissed. we follow doc upstairs and pebble is eating a leaf. doc walks into a closet. he came out with an icepick?! he stabs brainless guy with it in the head. back to undyne attacking him.
cam and dans are nonchalant about murder it seems. tori is tired. bald guy shows up and wants to take us to our rooms? cam follows him. undyne uses revify on the brainless guy. we get taken to our rooms. dans steals the sheets lol. cam is lead to dess nice. its a sex dungeon. thin laywer of ice and snow everywhere with a ritual circle and a holographic image and shes being yelled at >:( then the circle hangs up. shes not under his juristication anymore?
dess is so upset DX she ray of frosts pebble. cam tackles him out of the way but fails. cam pushes pebble out of the room and they aim their halberd at dess. dans is wandering now. cam and dess are both just having panic attacks and attacking each other. cam is beating her ass wtf.
dess ran out when cam panicked and attacked doc and runs into dans and undyne. dans puts his jacket over her and tries to calm her down. she says cam doesnt like her :( dans gets serious and orders undyne to get cam. cam lets out a bone chilling scream where they are.
undyne grabs cam and tries to ask them what happaned and calm down. too much snow. cam doesnt remember anything. undyne picks them up and runs out. undyne blames doc lol. cam says they do this whenever it gets cold. undyne rushes back to dans. dess gets wide eyed seeing cam. dans stands protectively in front of dess.
cam asks if dess knows why they became an adventurer. dess says they were informed yes. (wtf) cam cant keep their grip on reality when its cold. undyne heals dess and cam the rest of the way. cam apologizes. dess looks doubtful but says its fine. cam says they lied when they said they didnt like cam, their rudeness just offput them, but they still wanna be friends. dess says maybe. dans uses presti and dries both dess and cam.
undyne blinks 'where tf is tori?!' dans helps dess up. cam stares at them. undyne scoops them up lol. butler guy shows up and leads us back to our rooms. cam is gonna bunk with undyne and dess wants to bunk with dans. dans puts the sheets back cause dess needs them xD dess wants to stay on the floor so dans tosses her some bedding so shes comfy.
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Valentines Day
ive decided to talk about some of you horny rando's in the inbox. its fucking hilarious. how romantic.
no less than 20 people i dont know wanting x rated rp. not on this blog but i appreciate the forwardness!
1 person that was super into his toes. my guy he can remove them.
3 people at different times of the year saying they want to chew his pelvis like dogs.
at least 30 marriage proposals which is so funny
MANY people wanting US sans back for that date
even more people wanting UF sans back in an attempt to woo him
5 for papyrus?
13 for spamton. no. my spampton voice is garbage.
40 for gaster. they know about the catboy and want in.
1 romantic poem for undyne with a follow up 'oh wrong blog'
several people info dumping on their various sans ships. popular ones including mettaton and asgore.
3 for me. no.
3 for shades herself. also no lol.
15 for rouxls and one included a maze. he broke down crying.
a few for the space worms. politely denied.
some guy that keeps sending that one sans hotdog meme once in a while. god bless.
merry halloween!
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MOD SHADES
HE IS SILLY
FRIENDLY
i know hes a goofy old man.
however i do at least sorta think this is from Tenna or Mike.
i have my reasons my brain is just foggy
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dnd adventures 41
we spent a long time talking about weed and shadow the hedgehog
inferno pops out of eeby deeby by tori oh no. frog says hi. tori is cursing at this lol. frog shows sunnie inferno's cat. suzy tackles him lol. frog introduces inferno to sunnie. inferno pretends to not know sunnie xD suzy says he told her to beat up sunnie. inferno got a 22 to deceive but sunnie also got a 22 wtf. sunnie trusts the kids more xD tori and sunnie just give each other a look.
suzy bites inferno for covering her mouth. clamped down lol. he manages to escape tho! tori says she normally tries to stop suzy but not when it involves inferno. inferno flips her off lol. cam goes eeby deeby. sunnie asks tori what inferno did, so much my guy.
dess and dans are still getting high. talking about how fucked up eeby deeby is. dess mentions another storage and freaks dans out. 'dess are you ok?' 'what do you think?' 'i think no but i wont push.' dans asks why dess joined this weird journey and she says she has a contract. cause of tall ass creepy elf man. cant talk about it cause contract stuff maybe lol. dans peeks in the bathroom on undyne shes snoring up a storm. he says his lawyer could help dess get out of her contract xD his lawyer is gaster and hes a nerd. dess says "oh 2 of them thats weird." "yeah thats weird."
suzy is poking inferno lol. run away inferno! sunnie asks if thats normal xD tori asks if sunnie is in town long. not long just research. inferno is still running from suzy lol. frog makes sunnie put them on his shoulders. sunnie is ghost hunting? he doesnt believe in ghosts tho like wtf xD frog says cam got possessed by a ghost lol. sunnies like what?! tori's like yeah lol. sunnie is also a flat earther nooooooo!
inferno is just walking randomly. he walked in a loop oh no welcome back. suzy pokes him again lol. tori is critiquing sunnie for not believing shit he writes xD suzy kicks inferno in the shin. sunnies next research is a haunted house outside of town. let frog go! sunnie pretends to not know infernos name and tries to take his name xD 'wouldnt you like to fucking know.' tori is surprised he still does that lol.
lady of the house set fire to it and killed everyone side, sounds familiar. very ironic. he was invited to investigate by a fan of his books. a bit sus. sunnie is fucking blind. both tori and sunnie said no ghost hunting DX tori tucks suzy under her arm like a football. tori has sunnie kneel and she peels frog off his head. tori mentions undyne is out of commission and inferno gets excited.
dans and dess finished the boof and now shes pacing. dans is a bit worried. undyne sings in her sleep xD. dans asks dess if shes worried about berdly. kinda but theres a lot on her mind. 'what are you a cop?' fuck no xD he says again she doesnt need to tell him if she doesnt want to, hes just all ears. shes worried from the crossover event cause she didnt appear in spingledorfs future. dans says maybe she just settled down somewhere. she cant go home, same buddy. 'you are fucked up and abnormal. i like you.' dans is so high he sees 3 of her lol. this is her first time seeing a bearded dans lol.
as dess and dans hang out undyne starts sleep walking and broke the bathtub. dans tries to lead her toward the bed and she fucking smacks him wtf. dess throws a snowball in her face to wake her up. doesnt work and she barrels toward dess. dess tries to restrain undyne with magic but since shes high it turns into wild magic lol. dess is blue now oh no and undyne slams into her and they fall over.
group 1 arrives at the hotel. sunnie pats frog on the head he was glad to meet them. tori asks if theyll see him tomorrow. suppose they will! tori sends the kids upstairs. inferno follows. they see undyne outcold ontop of a blue dess. dans is trying to pull her off dess. she wakes up finally. shes so confused lol. dess shuffles away lol. dans hands her some water. he tells her she was sleepwalking and smacked him in the nose for a nosebleed lol. and destroyed the bathtub. inferno says tori wont let us go to a haunted house. dess calls undyne a murder slut xD dans tells inferno theres a soap cart at the end of the hall lol then removes dess blue curse.
tori comes up and is very concerned. dans asks how brother time was and dess takes it the wrong way and then walks into a wall. cam pops out of eeby deeby by dess with an egg in their mouth xD dans catches tori up on what happaned with them. suzy and frog ask tori what cannabis is xD ask again in 10 years.
we long rest and frog is very energetic and they want to see sunnie. breakfast first kiddo. dess tells frog cannabis is a plant lol. cam says dess really likes quests. undynes got a headache and dess picks up frog from jumping on her. dess says she saw frog die 40 times or so. like girl what. tori of course really hates that. after breakfast frog runs out and starts asking people where the haunted house is.
frog you smell like weed stop that xD the guy just runs.dans is just having vani sniff out sunnie and undyne follows him. haunted house! frog just runs in okie dokie. frog avoids a hole then starts yelling for sunnie. time to split up! very burnt home. are we sure this isnt tori's family? after a long investigation i didnt bother writing, inferno sees a ghostly woman. cam returns to eeby deeby lol. undyne just wants to leave. ghost lady hates the husband guy i guess. sunnie isnt here.
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dnd adventures 40
holy shit we hit 40 thats so pog champ
suzy is going to kill sunnie oh well. tori said nothing permanent lol. dans asks tori if they should stop her. tori sighs and follows suzy, and us following her. suzy asks if anyones gonna stop her. that depends if we need too xD suzy just shrugs. frog tries to get away from inferno but cant lol. tori is picking up suzy noooo. inferno threatens to kill frog and tori glares at him. tori makes a gimme gesture for frog.
now were just looking for an inn and seeing if theres stuff to do. hotel california. dans goes to get undyne. inferno insights the hotel and is spouting lyrics lol. dans finds undyne and catches her up on what happaned and leads back to the hotel. inferno is still being cryptic so dans tells undyne to beat him up lol. frog says no dont lol. tori says no more drama lets just go in. but we wanna beat up inferno! dess cant find margarittaville :(
dans asks whats a margaritta? dess looks so fucking sad oh no. anyway into the hotel! theres some unforgettable california girls inside xD the receptionist says welcome to the hotel california. oh no the session has devolved. help.
dans did an arcana check but it seems normal wtf. i hate this. beach themed bedroom. inferno get off the bed you dont deserve it. dans asks dess again what a margaritta. she says its a gay drink and dans says to show him. "im sorry did you say COCKtail?" dans please. 'wtf is tequilla?' cam has heard of it apparently. cam says its made far south. suzy chucks a pillow at undyne. undyne throws it back.
dans asks tori if she wants to go in the lobby with him to wait in the lobby for sunnie. tori asks cam to watch the kids. thumbs up! suzy yeets a pillow at cam lol. vani tries to hit suzy with a pillow but she just takes it and hoists him up lol. inferno hits her with a pillow. she turns around pissed lol he acts innocent. suzy doesnt buy it lol. undyne went to eeby deeby for a moment oh no. pillow fight! undyne returns!
dans and tori get to the lobby and he gives her some coffee. talking about brothers. dans fucking tells tori that yeah, i know your a warlock. whos your patron? dans says he will help tori. 'i wont make her same mistakes.' 'so you know this person? interesting.' talking about her crazy mom. dans says she can choose to be better, and he will support her anyway he can. dans admits hes a bit jealous she still has sunnie. "worst comes to shove we can get married and move out to the countryside." that throws her for a loop xD dans cuts off the dark convo and asks about cute stories about the kids xD
sunnie messages tori asking to meet at margarittaville wtf. he'll meet us outside to take us lol. dans is gonna go support her. gonna get the kids to remeet him. dess suddenly came downstairs carrying the smalls. suzy says they broke the whole room. dans says they can come for a remeet if they want. and suzy can beat him up if hes rude. dans tells cam to watch undyne and inferno since they left them alone lol. cam wants to go with us tho so i guess dess is in charge lol. cam starts infodumping the books sunnie wrote to dans lol.
sunnie shows up and kinda stands there awkward. dans squeezes tori's hand in reassurance. cam is embarrassed lol. suzy is glaring at him lol. re-introducing the kids! frog is still excited awww. tori glances at suzy to behave. going to margarittaville! inferno went eeby deeby.
ordering at margarittaville suzy wants one xD cam too. tori says suzy cant lol. dans gets them nonalcoholic ones. sunnie asks how the kids happaned. they found tori xD cam says were cursed together. run while you can! so...hows sunnies life been? their both so awkward. no kids or anything. cam says they met them now and winks xD tori fucking glares. sunnie chokes omg. tori sends wind into cams face lol. jesus cam you cant say this in front of the kids. their rolling to seduce i think kay is gonna kill them
tori fucking tries to charm cam but dans counterspells it. dans tells cam what she tried to do. tori cockblocks lol. dans says to keep it in their pants until the meeting is done. dans gets back on track and coughs about teya. awkward. portal business. how do you even respond to that? 'how did she survive in that other world.' welp about that-
tori hugs sunnie cause he started crying. she apologizes for how she told him at the library. meanwhile dess is giving undyne weed lol. shes super hungry so they show up at margarittaville oh no. sunnie finally stops crying and pats frog on the head. dans slides his drink over to cam since cams is almost empty. and here come the high people screaming for food.
dans goes to do damage control and tells tori to uh take care of everyone else. undyne fucking just picks dans up. yes he will get her food. he has to fucking babysit jesus. he tries to keep her satiated with jerky and dess is sad dans went to margarittaville without her lol. dans says hes gonna have to talk to dess later and she instantly gets serious oh no. cam once more shot their shot and left lol. dess fucking drops the bombshell her sister is also dead jesus.
dans is giving her a margaritta oh no. dess is staring off with a scared look oh no dans fucked up. dans says she doesnt have to talk about it if she doesnt wanna and shes a bit relieved. sending undyne to bed. specifically a bathtub lol. cam apparently went to bother shopkeepers. time for dans to get high!
meanwhile frog tries to bond with sunnie over being bards. tori says he used to be better at parenting lol. dess goes to eeby deeby. sunnie is still in shocked of course. he asks what tori has been up to. she spent too long in a cave lol. he asks about dans xD frog gives tori a devious smirk. teasingly says their in love awwww. sunnie says she never explained how they actually met. she was looking for frog and uh cursed. suzy once more was raised by wolves xD
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dnd adventures 39
dess and inferno join us for the fight!
dess whips out the dick club after all this time! dans fucking dropping a crit nuke like its no big deal. tori has enough of them attacking her kids and also nukes the area lol. undyne went to eeby deeby in the middle of combat cause uh internet issues. then comes back. dess is getting her shit kicked in oof. FROG STOP DYING. cam goes eeby deeby. inferno fireballing the air.
dans goes over to frog and apologizes for what happaned to the dinos. cam returns from eeby deeby. dans loots the cyclops and takes their dicks i suppose. suzy tries to cut their dicks off so tori takes them away. dess is disappointed that dans wants to cut the dicks off lol. undyne is going to beat up inferno lol. dans and inferno each got a dong then tori sets the bodies on fire lol.
dans gives suzy one of the greatclubs he got from the bodies. frog says they love their friends awww. dans goes and takes down the tents. dess leans awkwardly against a tree so dans gives her some jerky. time for soupnik!
i proceed to piss everyone off with dino puns.
next town! California. cam carries frog on their shoulders. dans is telling tori puns. tori finds a bookstore! its very busy. oh no its sunnie! tori swears shes pissed. dess understands what shes saying lol. cam says they want a book copy and they head on with frog and dans and dess. tori begrundly follows. dess asks if their related. frog says they havent met another firbolg besides other teya. inferno is confused. tori says her sibling is dead to her lol. dans asks what happaned and she should tell him about teya. frog wants to meet him. dans gives tori an ultimatium lol. dess offers to tell him if tori wants.
sunnie is fucking ignoring us the asshole. tori tells cam not to waste their money on his book of lies. cam says they dont want a true story they want fiction. tori says its sold as non fiction. cam laughs and dans is just incredilious. cam you got possessed! cam wtf. dess offers tori weed to take the edge off lol.
cam gets their book signed. dans lifts frog up toward sunnie to greet him lol. sunnie is startled lol and lies and says he has no family. dess says hes full of shit. frog is so upset. dans tells him to shut up for a minute cause tori has something to say. tori gets annoyed and just says teya is dead. the room is dead silent. she says theyll be in town for the day most likely and we walk out.
frog is mad at tori lol. dans asks what happaned between the two of them. cause he published and lied in the book. dans pats her and says we should go find suzy. we find her at a food stall as per usual with some kebobs. we tell her what happaned and she wants to beat him up for upsetting frog lol. tori says its fine lol. inferno pulls frog off of suzy so she can beat up sunnie lol.
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Ralsei pauses, holding his hands together.
"Why dont we try thinking about them? Imagining as if we were flies on the wall! We know them best. Lets think about how they are and what their up to?"
As he closes his eyes, a sense of ease seems to wash over you.
The way he smiles.
He does do remind you of him, doesnt he?
Falling
Falling
Falling
Its all you can remember.
Its all you can feel.
Familiar yet Distinct
A Never Ending Darkness
. . .
If only you didnt have to wake up.
But an overly familiar voice echoes through your mind.
A voice that sounds so much like his.
"Please stay determined!"
Toriel takes a moment before sitting up. Being warned about the fall was one thing, but experiencing it was something entirely different.
* Hello . . . ?
* Who is there . . . ?
#ralsei#toriel#dark world arc#utdr rp#hey gamers its been a while#sorry were just lazy and tired#were still alive i promise!
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dnd adventures 38
infero killed mpreg mattpat ANYWAY
dess is back in eeby deeby and cam comes out with an egg! dans picks cam off the ground and fills them in. time to let barbie know we fucked up lol. sorry barbie he got away. "well thats not ideal." barbie asks kris if they can find him and they nod. time to say goodbye :( when dans fistbumps kris theres a fart noise xD 'good luck with the kid.' 'good luck storming the castle!' kris summons a dragon suzy is so fucking mad lol and off they go.
welp now what do they do. dans asks cam if they wanna face that ice dragon. time for a long rest its eepy time for frog lol. dans paid for the inn its expensive thanks cam lol. suzy is chewing on bones. frog is practicing music. dans is reorganizing his spells and he took both fire and frost staffs get fucked. inferno is fixing his hair. cam is calibrating a portable pair of merchant scales? undyne is eating a meatball sub lol. tori is reading.
dans has cam fix his beard feathers cause they got messed during the fight. frog just barges into the bathroom and asks inferno what hes doing. they need the bathroom stop doing your hair. he tells them to go outside nooooo. frog starts humming then disappears. inferno just shrugs and goes back to his hair.
vani starts war dancing at inferno. he starts walking from tori to inferno over and over. dans closes his eyes and suddenly shouts 'where is frog!' tori says shes gonna heat metal again. inferno sighs and runs out to find frog. tori follows lol. dans stays still since cam is working but vani follows.
inferno goes to the river and frog is swimming. he walks over and asks how they even got here. they teleported than walked! they disappear and appear behind him lol. he wants to teleport oh no. he sighs and says they need to go back before he gets killed. 'but im swimming?' inferno is like whatever so they jump back in with vani.
tori is trying to make frog come back cause their tired. they just wanna swim cmon. back at the inn cam finished dans beard so he takes the scarf and cleans it up. cam is leaning against them playing with the scales. he gives it back and says they look right and proper. dans says at some point their gonna have to face that dragon. suzy says they killed a dragon its easy lol. dans suggests finding smaller dragons to kill first. undyne says they can totally do it. dans tells cam he and undyne can rez people. cam is so upset were dead set on this.
dans pats cam on the back and says they can do it, he believes in them! dans says its ok to be afraid. suzy says she can smell cams fear lol. undyne says she can smell it too lol. she says cam has the strength to overcome it. cam blushes and says they appreciate the belief, but we werent there. undyne says cam has seen them beat the shit outta steve lol. cam frowns and says they dont wanna see that happen to the rest of us. undyne and dans agree that if they die cam is allowed to kick their asses. gonna avenge cams family! believe in undyne!
meanwhile back at the river! frog finally gets out and makes grabby hands at tori lol. sopping wet baby. tori scoops them up. vani gets out and dog shakes the water on inferno lol. the cat hides behind inferno lol. tori unties her apron to dry them and head to the inn. she gets lost oh no. inferno just leaves and tori follows him lol. they make it back nice. inferno asks where susie got the sub he wants one. cam used the bathroom and used all the fancy soaps earlier lol.
inferno grabs the sub and tries to get in the bathroom but dans is inside. dans is singing in there. inferno groans and leaves. its the punch baby song from adventure time. then the bacon pancakes song. inferno is invading other peoples bathrooms. tori meditates. dans finishes and comes out and undyne goes in. we can hear her armor clang on the floor lol. frog and dans play cards and explain to susie how to play uno. cam is braiding frogs hair with feathers. frog wins good job! cam helped them cheat lol.
undyne comes out and cam asks if anyones seen inferno. 'dont worry i didnt shower in the armor.' susie goes into the bathroom and eats the soap and hates it lol. dont eat that lol. business as usual xD. cam and dans go to find inferno lol. vani sniffs him out lol. inferno tells the guy hes invading to not rat him out lol. cam yells they know inferno is in there. inferno is trying to hide lol. the bar rail crashes lol. dans persuades the guy to let us in. trying to make him open and cam threatens to get undyne. dans counters and says if he comes we can spend some time robbing the place. inferno steals the soap nice.
cam tries to steal one of infernos soaps and he goes no these are mine. he groans and leaves one, the shitty one lol. as we walk we find a cart full of soaps and stuff! dans walks over with the bag of holding and he and cam are shoveling it in. so is inferno. then inferno grabs the cart and shoves it into the bag lol. then sneak back to the room. a hotel woman sees the cart is gone and is confused. undyne punches inferno for leaving lol.
long rest! but we got into a LONG argument about sitting on toilet lids. like oh my god.
pouring rain out. dans got breakfast for everyone. he lies about the coffee. he gives cam some perfume he stole. he also gives frog a fancy soap that looks like a seashell. cam has a fancy teapot cool. frog wants to learn how to make tea! dans says you have to stick your pinky out while drinking tea. oh no cam is info dumping lol. dans finished setting up plates for everyone. dans heads back for a bath again! you can hear megalovania lol. then bonetrousle. then spear of justice. when did he get a band wtf.
time to leave! dans cam and inferno just keep stealing shit. dans gives undyne a soap that looks like a fish. as we leave we find another cart fuck yeah! they power walk to the cart and get to work. tori is like wait no. quick get the cart in! suzy is confused lol. undyne grabs the cart noooo!!! cam scrambles up her back sksksk. dans says hes getting his moneys worth. undyne puts inferno in the cart and kicks it into a wall lol. cam climbs down and helps dans grab the stuff. undyne calls them babies. time to go with our stash!
dans pulls out his map and asks cam where they live and mark it down. several days on soupnik probably. heading out whoo! as we leave we see someone tell the hotel guys all the soap is gone lol. still raining on soupnik. inferno goes eeby deeby. its a full blown storm. undyne avoids getting hit by lightning! cam tries to get soupnik land. failed frick. tori summons flame blade. undyne wants to fly above the storm and cam says thats a bad idea cause no air.
undyne fucking raises her pike oh god no. she thinks she can take it. we keep arguing with her. tori calls her a fucking idiot sksksk. cam is curled up and holding their head oh no. undyne sighs and agrees to land. undyne gets stuck good job and drops her pike. cam laughs. we all take half damage fuckers. tori heals the rest of us but undyne. dans rubs his lighting scars they hurt.
frog grabs everyone into a huddle but tori and undyne and uses tiny hut protecting us and its comfy and dry. dans tosses out tori's and undynes tents for them. time to dry! cam calls undyne a dick. dans shows his lightning scar is pulsating and says 'gee thanks.' the hut looks like a missing texture lol. dans gives susie some jerky then asks tori when the storm is gonna end. still seems stormy oof. cam makes tea. dans is gonna bring tori and undyne tea to keep them warm. using vani for warmth lol.
while the tinies play uno off in the distance theres a bunch of tricerotops pog. tori also sees them pog. undyne gets a weird feeling of being watched. after a few hours the storm passes. dans collects the tents. frog goes to pet the dinos. tori watches frog lol. undyne stretches.
some giant cyclops throws a rock at the dinos! tori gets a free hit in! thats a lotta damage! roll initiative! for next time ;)
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dnd adventures 37
tori and cam are eeby deeby! dess is back though! suzy and inferno are unsupervised while were landing. oh no. they land on their faces. frog waves bye to tori and cam and waves hi to dess.
suzy grabs inferno and starts running, its time for chaos. undyne chases them they cant be allowed unsupervised. kris asks if this is normal and dans says "hes evil and shes prebuscent." undyne whistles and summons soupnik to swoopdown and grabs them in his claws.
suzy elbows kris and demands they get a dragon, again. kris just snorts. soupnik drops them by undyne lol. shes so mad lol. suzy books it again oh no. charity also flees lol. heres comes soupnik! they only grab inferno lol. he goes REALLY high in the sky oh no. HE DROPS HIM! before he hits soupnik catches him and sets him by undyne. frog wants to do that lol.
kris tells dans his kids are funny lol. 'their not my kids but they may as well be.' vani huffs and goes to find lil suzy. shes chilling in a tree. vani is making sad noises and climbs up the tree and tries to make her get on his back. she tries to wrestle him and falls out of the tree. we hear loud yelling lol and go over.
dans asks if lil suzy is done now. she runs off and trips on a rock and lands on her face. dans sighs and says they need to find jevil. everyone else is laughing at suzy and frog goes to help her up. inferno complains she left him. lil suzy tells inferno he shouldve gotten good. inferno walks over and tells her to say it to his face. 'git gud!' he sees undyne and walks away pissed.
vani refinds the trail and off we go. soupnik in the air. dans hands big suzy more jerky. we stumble across a bone i guess. suzy holds it up and dess takes it lol. she rubs her chin in thought like a cartoon charactor. 'well this is clearly a bone.' inferno takes it, bites, and says 'yep thats bone' suzy is mad they wanted to do that lol. inferno finds another one! dans found one too lol. inferno gives it to suzy and she eats it. dans hands it to big suzy as undyne yells at him lol. she yeets it and lil suzy runs after it, fetch!
dess tries to take the bone from suzys mouth and she yanks back lol. dess lies and says its a jevil bone the shithead. back to searching! inferno trips on his face while looking for bones. tori is out of eeby deeby! frog is trying to clean infernos bones lol. kris and dans had been talking and stuff. tori is just confused why do the kids have bones. vani happy dances around tori.
we stumble upon a clearing and theres a guy there, its jevil but we dont know but frog knows and runs over and hugs him! dess yells to not hug the murder clown. he picks up frog and spins them around "look how tall you got!" undyne and tori yell at frog to get back from him, weaponized. frog is just excited lol but jevil is silent.
undyne fucking takes frog away from him frog is so upset. undyne says hes dangerous but frog says shes dangerous cause she has a sword. hes working with steve. frog says steve probably lied to him. inferno is confused about steve and suzy says he has a lot to catch up on.
dess walks up to him and asks if hes been working with any strange men lately xD "which one?" "do you know a guy that would fuck that guy?" she points at dans and he says 'bruh'. undyne points her sword at him and asks if he works for steve. thats not his name so dans asks the real dumbass name lol. yep, oh no. dans him to not work for him and to tell us where he is and we'll leave him alone. its all part of the game? he doesnt know where he is. inferno wants his hat off to see if hes bald sksksk. big suzy also wants to see and kris punches her lol.
inferno walks over and takes off his hat. and smacks his bald head oh no. jevil fucking squeaks like a toy. undyne hands frog to tori. big suzy and kris slap dans bald head lol. jevil asks inferno if hes done lol. dans asks if he knows where steve went or what hes doing. nope frick. frog asks to slap jevils bald head. 'of course!' tori wont put them down sad.
its been 3 hours we have gotten nowhere
tori asks if hes going to work with him. he just wants to play a game, game! he can show us if we like, ummm... undyne no. dont. tori uses stone skin on frog. he leans in to frog and suzy and says its not a game for kids and they should go play somewhere else. dess makes a face thinking its an 'adults' game. tori sets frog down and tells them to go. suzy says lets go find bones and takes them away.
jevil needs more players and he summons a bunch of giant bat skeletons. suzy steps forward 'so its THAT kind of game. better watch out, your dealing with a couple of sharks!'
battle! The World Revolving! Shark To Shark!
LET THE GAMES GAMES BEGIN!
dess uses snowball storm on the center of the bad guys. jevil was barely phased lol. undyne attacks! big damage but he does negate some psychic damage. big suzy attacks! missed one her damage is shit lol. jevils turn! he missed dans lol. he also missed suzy. he does hit undyne! big damage. dans hits nice. a bat bites suzy ouch. kris attacks! good job! another bat bites suzy but misses. it hits inferno! tori attacks! she lightnings jevil! infernos turn! he failed. jevil laughs at him.
dess swings her axe at jevil! failed 2 out of 3 swings. undyne goes! so much divine smite. but hes immune to being knocked prone. somewhere in the woods we hear screaming. tori tells undyne if she kills him she has to tell frog what happaned. undyne just wants to knock him out. suzy attacks the bats and kills one of them nice. jevil attacks! he goes after dans! he crits tori! but shes immune to crits! then he uses haste on himself. dans hits big nice. kris is still kinda sucking, frick. suzy yells at them to do what undyne is doing lol. a bat misses. the other bat misses too. tori witchbolts! she crits! thats so much fucking damage wtf. infernos turn! hes fucking using fireball. poor kris they were standing right there they are on fire. jevil stumbles back.
jevil starts laughing and says they did well and he wants to play again, then he fucking disappears and the bats drop dead. he drops a scythe and a crystal. undyne picks up the scythe. dans picked up the crystal. he looks through it and briefly sees mod shade's room. he puts it away and decides he didnt see anything. then he goes and helps kris not be on fire. suzy screams demanding to know who set kris on fire. the knife disappears from undynes hands.
frog shows up and asks where jevil went. it appears in suzy's hands and frog points it out. dans points out inferno for setting kris on fire. inferno is nonchalant. she punches him and it hurts lol. dess says we killed jevil and dans has to yell no they didnt cause frog is upset. lil suzy says they found some bones. inferno takes one of the bat skulls.
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gross anon below
gonna put this out here PLEASE dont send me your fetish rp stuff.
kids look at this blog man. im not interested in that stuff here.
you know who you are.
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dnd adventures 36
inferno is out of eeby deeby. he last remembers being in the cave lol. of course, undyne comes over and grabs his hair. barbie is just confused lol. dans messages moss god if they can kill him yet. no darn. vani and tori both picked up jevils scent nice. its in 1 spot so gotta keep going in a radius. just keep following. near the city gate cool. frog is riding tori for funsies. (cam is infodumping tf2 lore to inferno lol)
barbie finally asks why inferno is being dragged by his hair. its cause hes evil lol. she wonders why no hand holding like wtf no barbie. everytime they pass someone they cheer hi barbie xD jevil seems to be zig zagging around. just keep following. we finally found a trail!
river in the way. barbie gets to see soupnik lol. she summons a pink pegasus. gotta get across this big river. 1.5 miles across?! time to get on soupnik. frog hops on the pegasus lol. tori squints but allows it.
on the otherside! (moss is so mad we keep rolling high and wont let us find a trail cheater) barbie says she has to get back to work and is gonna send another paladin to help us. tori wants to know who shes sending so suzy translates lol. the person that put jevil away originally. tori unwild shapes. dans is playing fetch with vani. tori communes with nature. suzy is trying to swim goddamn. inferno wishes he could swim F.
jevils not here. tori goes and gets suzy from the river lol. no drowning today xD suzy asks if jevil swam it lol. dunno since moss didnt let us smell him. dans comments he might have been swept away. inferno says he might be dead and frog gets sad. dans comforts them and says jevil is strong so hes fine. undyne goes to dunk inferno in the river lol but stops cause frog says too.
the others manage to convince undyne to release inferno but she says shes gonna kill him if he tries anything. suzy says shes not allowed to kill him lol. tori is talking to trees asking about jevil lol. suzy tries to swim again! inferno tries to tell suzy shes gonna fucking drown lol. she says she can swim and ignores him. tori whips around like nuh uh. suzys like fuck. she sits by inferno and he says theyll jump in the next river.
infernos cat just comes out of the river totally dry lol. curls up in his lap. frog just starts petting it as inferno tries to push it off but it curls back into him. eventually he stands up and makes it fall. it hisses and runs into inferno and makes him stumbles but hes still standing. how did it move him?! undyne uses divine sense on the cat. its a celestial! it stares at undyne vaguely menancingly. she glares back lol. wtf why is it following inferno. frog uses speak to animals. it says inferno is funny and mean. inferno is just bewildered. he smells like catnip lol.
the trees told tori jevil got swept away lol. tori lets us know. gotta follow the river and suzy tries to go in the river again lol. they hear a voice that dans knows! "I see you havent gotten any taller." dans grins and looks up. "I see you still look like a mop." he walks over and they claps hands awesomely. "New friend of yours, Kris?" KRIS THE PALADIN MAKES AN OFFICIAL APPEARANCE! kris shakes hands with undyne. the other person looks like an adult suzy! Undyne looks between big and small suzy and asks if their the same person. dans introduces kris and suzy to everyone. kris says 3 people including themself captured jevil. third guy isnt here right now. (moss didnt make them a sheet lol moss just fucking ask me next time id make one)
dans tells them jevil got swept away so were heading down river. cams just happy they dont have to swim. dans and kris catch up while they walk. cam is singing with frog. kris looks at inferno, then whispers to dans and they laugh lol. cam goes eeby deeby! frog keeps playing. big suzy asks undyne whats the heaviest thing they can lift. 'think of the heaviest thing you can think of, i can do it.' she does a handstand and claims to be holding the world lol. she tries to knock her over lol. undyne avoids both suzys lol. she gets back on her feet. she gets flipped off lol.
tori wild shapes again. her and vani searching for smells. kris pulls out some chocolate and eats it and give dans a small piece. kris looks back at frog and offers some of course they want some! dans tosses some jerky to little suzy and she catches it in her mouth. tori fucking jumps in the river and lil suzy is so mad lol. she made it across nice. sniffing from both sides. dammit suzy jumped in. inferno tries to stop her. he catches her! suzy is so pissed. angry barking across the river. big suzy is just laughing at them. frog says they can turn suzy into a duck then they can swim. undyne says not to do that but suzy wants to be a piranna, so does inferno.
dans writes a note and sends it to tori on mage hand to let her know whats happening. more angry barking lol. frog decides tori wont be mad if they only transform inferno. hes gonna be a shark! undyne grabs suzy nope shes not going. hes a shark now and he cant talk lol. suzy cheers and runs after him. kris and dans bet of suzy gets swept away or not. suzy rides inferno like a horse lol. she makes it nice. tori is trying to yank her out. suzy cackles and gets off inferno. tori drops wildshape to yell at suzy. frog drops concentration on inferno. suzy grabs inferno and drags him to shore.
dans hands kris 20 gold lol. suzy and inferno fistbump sksksksk. tori fucking carries both of them sksksksk. undyne tells soupnik to watch inferno. tori finds footprints or something. undyne calls soupnik over so we can cross. suzy asks why kris doesnt have a wyvern. they just smile at her lol. the cat just walks across the river wtf. we cross to the otherside, jevil next time!
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