arozoid

[arozoid]

i lovvvveee gore in film *i have dpdr and seeing typically disturbing scenes makes me calm*

[arozoid]

SzPD culture is no emotion when there should be and being partly pleased yet partly displeased with it.

[arozoid]

Well I did a good 8 months at this job but now I am burnt out and can’t mask. Time for a new one

#schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder #dpdr #personality disorder

[arozoid]

Been trying to pretend like I am feeling better to convince myself it’s getting easier, but I haven’t got there yet

#still can’t really feel happy/fulfilled #but sure can feel anger now #schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder #personality disorder

[arozoid]

szpd culture is enjoying doing something (like a hobby), but when you tell someone about it they frown and tell you how sad it is and give you that pitiful look because it is isolated and solitary.

genuinely makes me mad because who are you to decide what i enjoy and what i should find sad. why are we judging people's lifes because they don't fit into the "norm" and why does everything solitary automatically have to be miserable to others.

-

[arozoid]

Was doing fine at my job as a waiter until like two days of absolute social horror and now I keep giving up shifts because I can’t stomach the thought of talking to anyone

#(it was tr/nsphobia) #szpd #schizoid #schizoid personality disorder #schizospec

[arozoid]

Being Schizoid and trying to improve my life, I try to socialize, but I end up rejected and ostracized anyway. Other people can tell there's something wrong with me even if they don't know what it is.

It's like I have miasma around me. Like I am cursed.

[arozoid]

szpd culture is forming a connection with someone but after a few weeks/months of hanging with them you realize you don't care enough to spend energy on the friendship anymore but now you don't know how to back out without being rude

-

[arozoid]

Good news (?): a little bit of emotion is back bad news: it’s anger

#whoops #schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder #schizospec #dpdr #personality disorder

[arozoid]

I’d like January and all of its hurts to be over

#swiftly. please #szpd #dpdr #lots of life stuff.

[arozoid]

schizoid culture is doing things because they're good, not because you have affective empathy (but you're doing them and they're helping others and that's better than nothing)

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[arozoid]

i consider maintagging my shit sometimes because there are like, five people who post about szpd on this whole wretched website+it would be nice 2 see more discussion of it, but the thing about having szpd in the first place is that actively doing anything 2 put myself in the public eye, on tumblr of all places, sounds like a really nice way 2 attract the most annoying people i've ever encountered in my life (regular people who happen 2 not meet every one of my inscrutable invisible criteria)

[arozoid]

for me i want to be seen as male but my actual gender is my own so i don't talk about it

feel free to reblog for sample size

#ftm when I was younger I cared a lot #now I don’t really care at all besides looking the way I want

[arozoid]

[arozoid]

It is winter & being human is hard

#schizoid #szpd #schizoid personality disorder #schizospec #personality disorder #dpdr #actually autistic #autistic

[arozoid]

Pearl (2022) dir. Ti West

[arozoid]

you have to bite through the fear of being misunderstood again, of being dismissed or shunned. they'll make assumptions, but you're not doing it for them. you don't have to fit yourself into a mold that's more to their liking. you dont have to translate yourself into their language. this is not something that can be done on their terms. for once, it's not about them. it's about you.

you're doing it for you. to keep your own damn head above water. this is your life. these are your words. uncertain as they may be in the beginning, jumbled and vague, barely distinguisable. thats okay.

it is your voice.

bit by bit, i promise, you will learn how to use it.