bi-and-nb

[bi-and-nb]

#scream

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i love women so much i wanna cry

#i am looking #video

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while I do agree with the sentiment of "ask yourself why you don't want to call yourself bisexual" I think some of YALL need to ask yourselves AND bi women why they don't want to call themselves bisexual, because some of yall literally can't fathom why a bi woman wouldn't want to be bi

being a lesbian obviously isnt easier than being bi, but being bi isn't easier than being a lesbian either, and its a fact that within wlw circles being a lesbian is still considered superior than being bisexual, and often being a wlw is still considered synonymous with being a lesbian: lesbian love, lesbian couple, lesbian relationship, lesbian wedding, etc.

bi women talk about their experience of being rejected simply for being bisexual, of people doubting their commitment to lgbt liberation and feminism because they're still attracted to men, of constantly having to hear everyone complain about how annoying and toxic and awful we are, but y'all think it's as simple as saying "its okay to be bi I promise lol" like they're gonna be like "oh yeah sorry I totally didn't think of it that way, I love myself and my bisexuality now."

it's shocking the lack of compassion some of you have for bi women. if a bi woman calls herself a lesbian instead of bi just because its easier to date women that way yalls first thought isn't "wow she must have a lot of internalized biphobia to reach a point where she thinks she might as well just call herself a lesbian if she wants to be in relationships with women", its "oh my god this horrible nonlesbian she's totally leading lesbians on by not calling herself bi, that's so toxic and evil, she's going to try to lead her into a threesome with a man"

and as much as I hate "bi lesbian" being a thing I really don't think y'all are aware of why a bi woman would think being bi is not enough, so like maybe think for a second instead of immediately jumping to the conclusion that it's because all these people are selfish infiltrators who think lesbian should just mean wlw again (which.....I mean again that's something that's definitely supported by the language that's often used so maybe we should think about that too)

so like do me a favor and do a LITTLE more for us than "bi/lesbian solidarity!! it's okay to be bi!!" like actually do the work and show unconditional love and support for bi women, shut down biphobia and deplatform unapologetic biphobes, don't immediately discount a bi woman as a romantic partner just because she's bi, show compassion for bi women with internalized biphobia that's hurting themselves, make room for bisexuals in your spaces and stop equating being a wlw to being a lesbian, and then maybe you will start seeing bi women who embrace being bisexual.

#that part

[bi-and-nb]

manwoman flag 4 when you’re a man+a woman at the same time :] the thin pink+blue stripes on the outside represent society’s narrow idea of man+woman as opposite/conflicting roles, the gradient into green+orange represent man+woman as complimentary gender experiences, and the thin yellow stripe on the inside represents the unity between them/experiencing both of them at once

this flag’s 4 any multigender person (be it bigender, genderfluid, etc) who experiences being both a man+a woman ^_^

[bi-and-nb]

https://twitter.com/t0nit0ne/status/1420514814611365888 am hoping this brightens your day a little 💖💖💖💖💖

this the only good thing to come out of tiktok

#AHHHHHHHHHHH #video

[bi-and-nb]

"Safe Sex Is Hot Sex" By Steven Meisel commissioned by the Red Hot Organization during the 1990s.

#nsfw

[bi-and-nb]

Transmasc Pregnancy Resources

I've been on testosterone for 3 years, and frequently people have made comments about how it must be hard because now I can never have children. And for a long time, I would say that yes, it is hard to know that, because my sole regret about going on testosterone was how I'd never be able to get pregnant (as my doctor told me). But now I know that's not true-- transgender men, including those who have been on testosterone for many years, are capable of having healthy, happy babies. I see many posts on here talking about how testosterone should not be used as a contraceptive (true!) and resources for seeking an abortion when you're transmasculine, but I don't see anyone encouraging or providing information to those who may have medically transitioned but still want to pursue pregnancy.

Here is a Guide to Transmasculine Fertility, complete with several "lesson" sections on various topics such as assisted reproduction options and aging fertility rates, written by verified physicians and Trystan Reese, a transgender man who has pregnancy experience. This is an excellent and thorough resource, and not the only article that the site has on transgender pregnancy and parenting. In my opinion, this is the best resource on the list, so it's first.

Here are personal accounts of transmasculine pregnancies from Evan Hempel, Jason Barker, Thomas Beatie, Trevor MacDonald, and there are so, so many more just a Google search away.

Here is a Heathline article that discusses the issue of social stigma around transmasculine pregnancies, and how to combat it.

Here is a (short) NYT article about a reproductive endocrinologist's (supportive) perspective on transgender pregnancies.

Here is a list of resources that covers much of the above, and more.

Many of us are told when we begin testosterone that it can impact fertility, destroy our reproductive organs, etc. and not only is that blatantly untrue, but it's wildly harmful to those of us who want to be pregnant. We deserve this information, we deserve to know our options, we deserve to decide for ourselves what we want to do with our bodies. Yes, transgender men who want to be pregnant are certainly in the minority. But too many of us think we're infertile or are told that we are by doctors who don't know enough about transgender healthcare, leading to irreversible decisions that do render us infertile (such as hysterectomies). While this is aimed at transgender men, it is also worth mentioning that this applies to anyone and everyone who engages in HRT, mastectomy, etc. including nonbinary people, butches, genderfluid people and so on.

If you are a transmasculine individual who wants to explore your options for pregnancy, I hope this helped inform you. If you're not interested in pregnancy, please at least pass this information along, because I'm fucking tired of the incompetency surrounding trans healthcare. Knowledge is power, and it's knowledge like this that allows for self-advocacy, empowerment, and happier lives.

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one day some of you will actually go outside and go to pride and you’re going to meet old black queens who refers to themselves as femme, you’ll meet people from small towns who still use the word transsexual, you’ll see that your local activist organization set up a stall about your local LGBT history that includes leather bar’s history, you’ll see lesbians in groups refer to themselves as “guys” and “boys”, you’ll see someone with breasts and pasties and little else have “he / him” painted on his chest, and you’ll be so caught up with your terminally online attitude that instead of appreciating the wide diversity of people who exist in the LGBT community who are brave enough to share themselves you’ll just be formulating posts and tweets in your head for when get home about how “problematic” it all was and it’s honestly tragic

[bi-and-nb]

[bi-and-nb]

losing my damn mind

[bi-and-nb]

I know this is vague but do you have any tips on being more confident? I'm a masc lesbian and I wanna be tough and butch but every time someone criticizes me I feel like crying lmao

absolutely! there are a few things that i remind myself when i want to feel confident:

1. you have a right to take up space. you’re living in the same world as everyone else, and they’ve got no right to make you feel like you don’t belong where you are. whether this is standing in line, waiting for the public restroom, speaking up for yourself, holding hands with someone, etc. root your feet to the fucking floor, don’t let people move you from where you *deserve* to be.

2. there is no amount of changing yourself that’s going to appease people who ‘disapprove’ of you. this sounds kind of counterintuitive, but trust me, this mindset gets me through the day. if you start altering your appearance, mannerisms, the way you carry yourself, the way you talk, until people decide you’re being ‘feminine’ enough, it’ll never stop. there’s always going to be someone who thinks they know best for you, and that the way you’re living is wrong. changing yourself to ease this discomfort is a *complete* waste of your time. gd knows they’re not changing shit for you. every transgressive piece of your appearance, your mannerisms, is something you owe yourself.

3. you can’t control how people see you, just like they can’t control how you think about them. if you’re masc, some people might call you sir, some people might think things that are untrue of you. we live in a society. let go of the feeling that you need to be in charge of how you’re seen. you’ve got more important shit to do. i mean, sure, stick up for yourself if you want to, but you’re not responsible for other people.

4. it is ABSOLUTELY okay to feel like you’re not confident. this is the whole ‘fake it till you make it’ bit; there’s nothing wrong with being scared of an interaction, being anxious, feeling like crying. that’s okay! feelings are okay. good, even. but don’t let that undermine you. in my life, at the times where i *looked* the most confident, i was pretty nervous under the surface. that’s totally okay. just keep moving forward and trying. talk like you belong, say the things you need to. so, SO many people are doing the exact same thing every day, i promise.

5. tough guys use the buddy system! being tough is cool and all, but there’s nothing wrong with having a friend come with you to things. your community is what makes you strong. you don’t have to go it alone, that’s just not how we’re built as people. you never have to go into situations that make you feel unsafe just to prove you’re tough, especially alone.

6. being you is enough. hell, being you just might change someone else’s life for the better. remember that being you is something worth being confident about in and of itself. you don’t have to be some idealized, 'more butch/masc’ version of yourself to owe yourself confidence.

hope that helps!

[bi-and-nb]

Oh btw black and other lesbians of color have had terfs' numbers wrt the racism and white supremacy inherent in their premise since at least the 70's. Like they have been speaking on this for upwards of 50 years.

This part is speaking about the 70s, and this book was published in 1991 (Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in Twentieth-Century America is the title).

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Aya [Brown]’s scenic depictions beam with ghetto nuance and seduction. Her work is intersectional—she takes artifacts from Black and queer culture and fuses them, putting a face to the often unseen. Aya’s art suggests that lowbrow is the latest highbrow response to boring straight white male culture. Her style draws upon figures both living and deceased, from Missy Elliott to Toni Morrison. It’s nasty foreplay and sensual love. It’s Black Lesbian pride. “It is one of my biggest missions in life to document my own history, BLACK LESBIAN history,” she tells office. “This is not a game of telephone. I don’t want a little Black girl to learn about us, from anyone but us.”

Harder Than Ever Before

[bi-and-nb]

😳

[bi-and-nb]

okay y’all its pride month, time to expose yourself to what some actual trans/nonbinary bi’s have to say about bisexuality

written essays by @mediumkravitz​​

revisiting “both” definitions of bisexual

why attraction to nonbinary people doesnt make you bi or pan

why the bi in bisexual doesnt mean two genders

why bi and pan are the same

the myth of bisexual/straight passing privilege

the bisexual history they dont want you to know

why bisexuality is not transphobic

on reclaiming “bisexual”

why bisexuality is inherently nonbinary

video essays by @verilybitchie​​    

on “rampant transphobia” in the bisexual community’s history

bi vs pan as labels

why we hate bi women

why we hate bi men

the compet masterdoc and bisexuality + comphet vs compulsory heterosexuality

the history of the word bisexual

the bi-cycle

posts on tumblr by various trans/nb bisexuals

another explanation of why bi and pan are the same

on the dismissal of bisexual suffering in the community

bi/trans solidarity from 1993

statistics on the effects of biphobia

more on bi vs pan as labels, and another and another

on peoples reactions to bi women abused by men

on biphobia and separatist ideologies in wlw communities (i wrote this!)

on “slutty” “bad” bisexual women

scapegoating of bisexual men during the aids epidemic

statistics on sexual violence against bi women

on the reclamation of slurs by bisexuals

the negative perception of femmes as bi women 

on defining bisexuality as “two or more” and another one

on choosing sexuality based on what “feels right”

on how “sexuality isnt a choice” manifests biphobia

why erasure of bi mens struggles is harmful

on bi people “having it easier” than gay people

in general just go through the #bi tag on @bifey​​ and @biexboyfriend​​‘s blogs as well as posts from @mediumkravitz​​ and @verilybitchie​​ whose essays were included above, feel free to add on if you feel you see anything else relevant from trans/nb bisexuals specifically

im not interested in hearing about how you didnt bother reading anything/taking anything in bad faith based on whatever. 

and remember!

[ID: a banner that reads "this post is about bisexuals do not derail" on a background that fades from pink to purple to blue. /end ID]

[bi-and-nb]

bisexual <3

[bi-and-nb]

yes yes bisexuals in m/f relationships are “valid” but are you truly internalizing that the individuals in these relationships do not have the privilege people believe them to have and that they are essential to both the bisexual community and the lgbt community and furthermore there is nothing wrong with them having platforms or leadership in their communities or them being the center of a conversation. are you even acknowledging the diversity they possess?