breetannerisaliveshutup

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

twilight as text posts for u 🐌

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

bella: any cold, wet thing. i don't really... *scoffs in disgust*

edward, remarkably cold:

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

all i’m saying, is that if I were alice in breaking dawn.. i would HIGHLY suspect that the kid was jacobs.

over a century & the only thing that blocks her vision is the werewolves… and now this fetus. u know there’s some tension between bella & jacob... half her headache was probably trying to mentally prepare for that possibility.

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Carlisle and Edward trying to save Bella after she was bitten by James

Alice, Emmett and Jasper:

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

I’m still baffled at the fact that Stephenie Meyer decided to make a 23 y/o the adoptive father of five teenagers who actively dated each other in public and everybody was like. Okay with it. In a town with less than 4000 people. Fuck the sparkling, Twilight’s biggest mistake was that, for vampires who allegedly try to blend in with humans, the Cullens are weird as shit and don’t care about remaining anonymous, and that jackassery would not stand in the real world. 

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Damn no wonder Edward is depressed, he never experienced the highs and lows of high school football

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

If the people of Forks made memes:

Edit: yes there is a typo here, pls stop mentioning it

This took so fucking long to make, but please do enjoy

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Do the twilight vampires have jiggle physics I need to know its for science

#very important science stuff #twilight renaissance #twilight #twilight saga #the cullens

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Edward: Ever have pets?

Bella: Haha well my mom spent my life lying to me about being allergic but I finally figured out she didn’t want any responsibility that kept her from doing whatever she wanted at the drop of a hat. Kinda like me, her mistake that weighed her down like an anchor, crushing her dreams and ruining her life. Anyway, you know how it is, you ruin your mother’s life by being born so you devote yourself to catering to her hand and foot to make up for your existence. Also I hate birthdays because despite calling my mom my best friend she knows nothing about me and birthdays were about her ignoring my wishes and me having to pretend to like gifts she gave me that I clearly would not like. But it’s ok, it’s not like I’m going to be going back to visit ever, there’s no room in that three bedroom house for me to sleep because both guest bedrooms were taken over by her hobbies. Anyway, how long is this hike?

Edward:

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

esme listening to rose and edward discuss the curse of their existence for the 12th time in one day

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

remmeber when Carlisle slut shamed Alice and Jasper into getting married. I think that’s iconic and funny of him yes king no sinning in THIS christian house

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Aro&Caius everytime an excuse to destroy the cullens comes up:

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

If Charlie could, he would

[breetannerisaliveshutup]

Patient in the 1800’s: I’m like…tired

Carlisle: I’d suggest you do some cocaine about it

Patient in 2006: I’m like…tired

Carlisle: I’d suggest you do some cocaine about it

Patient: I should do what?

Carlisle: