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Some Inspo for my fellow guys who just wanna look one cigarette away from death

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I haven't been here in a while.

((ED Trigger Warning || It's just a text post || I can't figure out how to do a Read More on mobile!! I'm so sorry!!))

It's been a crazy year, I actually lost about 50 pounds! 65 really, but I gained 15 back.

Down from 230 to 180 and I'm loving having my collar bones back. I'm tall so even at 180 I'm lean but I still have about 40 more to go before I'm where I want to be!

I actually completely forgot about this blog and my goals and rewards but without even realizing it, I actually already rewarded myself most of them!

My ears are just past 00g, working my way up to to about 14mm maybe. I've been going super slow but since this is my 3rd round of stretching, it's still going way faster than before! I always buy myself new panties and those "Me Nights" happen a lot lol. I'll probably change my goal for 175 because I cannot afford a tattoo anytime soon though.

I guess what brought me back to this is that I've binged so bad this past week. I'm worried I won't be able to stop and what I've been using for hunger suppression this past year is something I no longer have access to. I just need a little motivation and community I think. Here's to hoping!

#personal #proana #eating disorder #ed mention

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🌕🌖🌗grunge thinspo🌓🌔🌕

🌙message me for credit🌙

⭐️I take requests⭐️

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That jaw line! 😍💕

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☆♡ pale thinspo ♡ ☆

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I fell off.

I got married two weeks ago and how busy it was made this difficult but how busy it was made it hard to eat too. But I definitely binged since being back from vacation and I hate my wedding photos because I'm so gross looking. Not even just weight, my face shape overall. I feel like I'm a toad.

So anyway, back on this.

#personal #text post #not pro anything i just want to be thin again

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“Somebody like you can really make things all right for me.”

Requiem for a Dream (2000) dir. Darren Aronofsky

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Skeletober 13 - 16

i’m catching up slowly

13. What are your favorite ways to distract yourself?

I have a journal I scribble in.  I play video games.  I work a lot.

14. Do you ever purge? If so, why do you think you do it? How do you cope with it?

No.  I have a phobia of all things relating to vomiting.. sound, smell, feel.  I hate it. 

15. Do you reward yourself when you reach weight goals? How?

I have a rewards list of things I think I might deserve when I’m there.  Right now I don’t feel like I deserve much but I will when I get back to where I was before.

16/ Half-way!  What are your stats right now?  Are you on track?

Since I started late and since I’m on my period rn, I am absolutely NOT going to check my stats right now.  If I didn’t gain it’s a miracle.  Back on track today food-wise.  The little I ate wasn’t super healthy since I was out running errands with my partner but I did eat... little.  I also prepped some low cal soup for the rest of the week and started back on some diet pills.  I’m going to get back to where I was before.  

#skeletober #skeletober19 #skeletober2019 #i'm only pro for me because its what i need and i can handle it #only for me #proana #proed #not hungry #personal

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i’m hungry. i’m tired. i want to be skinny. i want to be loved. i want to be able to walk into a room & have everyone be astonished by how skinny/pretty i am. . . .