crescentmoonlupin

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

Oh, kid. Let's not worry about the end of this story, okay? Endings usually suck. Let's just enjoy the middle, the journey together.

[crescentmoonlupin]

The girls are back in town 🥰😮‍💨💜

[crescentmoonlupin]

Kisses for 💚

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

If you need help, I'm here to listen..

There are days that are easier than others. When you have depression, you tend to feel like the world is against you and it just feels like a constant battle that no matter how hard you fight, how much experience you have with it, it just never seems to be enough to throw at the problem. And of course, giving up is never ever an option cause once you do, the monster you are battling just gets bigger. Bigger to the point you just must live with the drooling, foaming beast.

I’ve had depression for a number of years, as of 2024, it’s been about 14 years since I was originally diagnosed, but about 17 since it first manifested itself within my mind. It's never been an easy beast to live with. I’ve tried destroying it by destroying myself. I held it down, but the bubbles never stopped coming up. I tried to drown it in sex, making it seem like the reason I was upset so much was because I was alone and needed the company to get me through, I cut myself so I could hold some sort of “control” over it but, of course that never works. Eventually it becomes an addiction that you don't realize you started, and it takes everything in you to stop. Years even.

To this day, I am still self-destructive. Some days, I wish I could still continue hurting myself, but I know its counterproductive, it’ll never solve anything. It just hurts everyone else who happens to catch it when the wounds are fresh. Cutting myself didn’t make me feel better in the sense I thought it would, it just gave me a false sense of control over something I didn’t have control over. The chemicals in my brain didn’t do what they were supposed to when they were supposed to, and I suffered the consequences.

I wanted to blame everyone else for my problems. My mother, my father, my stepparents. Sisters. Everyone who wasn’t me. “You made me do this!” I’d say, when really, I was the one who put the razor or knife to my skin and pulled. I made it count, I counted every mark, and it’s not a pretty number. Not only did I cut but I carved words into my skin, so I would remember why I did it in the first place. So many initials. Failure. Perfect. HIT ME! I’M NOTHING! Sorry :] Smile. And the list goes on from there. Now it’s just a bunch of scars.

I’m not ashamed of them, and I don’t really regret them, they’re part of me and it was what I thought I needed at the time, ultimately, I was wrong in the end, but teenagers never listen, do they?

I do wish I could go back though, and just talk to myself. Tell myself it does, eventually, gets better. That things do start going right, years down the road. That it’s not worth it to be so angry all the time, and to learn to love myself sooner so I didn’t have t struggle as badly as I am now at almost 30, because yes, we do make it past the age of 18, as surprising as that is for me to even believe to this day. Eventually we meet a man who loves us in his own special way, and we have the most beautiful son to raise together. And he loves that little boy as if he was made from his own blood. He reads him bedtime stories and helps him learn to walk. He teaches him to ride a bike and plays in his sandbox with him, the one he made him for his second birthday.

Things do get better, but you have to fall down so you can get back up, so you can grow up the way you need to, because it is necessary. Because as soon as you heard that little boy’s heartbeat for the first time, you know, you just knew, that everything was going to change and you knew that you would do anything for him, even if it meant changing everything so he could grow up better than you did. So, he can go farther than you ever got. So, you can make sure he is actually stable and doesn’t have to recover from his childhood. Make sure he is okay and knows he is heard.

I just hope I’m doing the right things when it comes to that little boy because I don’t know where I’d be or who I would be without him. There’re days where I struggle and all I want to do is to curl up into a ball and cry till I fall asleep. But I have this little boy watching me every day and I just have to keep going to make sure he has everything he needs to grow into a respectable human and a caring man. Fight for what’s right but know when to step back as well.

#support #self harm #recovery #growing up #im here #ill listen #you are not alone #no matter what #seek help #you are enough #depression #cutting #cutter #you are loved #you matter

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

Texts From Superheroes

Facebook | Threads | Patreon | Instagram

[crescentmoonlupin]

Spogunasya on DeviantArt: Dare 07

[crescentmoonlupin]

[crescentmoonlupin]

+LOST AT SEA+

AUDIO: http://c2ndy2c1d.tumblr.com/post/48512468292

the end~ <3

____________________________________________________________

sorry guys, it was suppose to be with the audio button but the images wouldn’t work 8 3 8

boo hoo i’m so sadddddddd, sorry this didn’t turn out as great as i thought it would booooooo

anyways, if you still don’t get what’s going on here. 

it’s just pretty much what i thought would happen when everyone in the ed edd n eddy find out that Kevin and Edd are secretly dating. 

the two love birds got in a fight deciding they should tell the other kids about their relationship and so this my version of the outcome of this situation~ 

how the other kids found out? hmmm well it could be the sneeky little teal birdy, or it might have not~ think of it anyway you want lol~

i’m also seening a lot fighting lately in the Kevedd tag, so i thought some music would help sooth the mood too~

enjoy~

[crescentmoonlupin]

Nearly two decades later, I think it just fully hit me why Iroh told Zuko's crew about how he got his scar. It wasn't just to say, "Have some sympathy for him, he had a hard childhood." It was because the crew were all upset (rightfully so) that Zuko had said, "The safety of the crew doesn't matter." and Iroh was trying to point out that, yes, what Zuko had said was wrong, but that's not what he really thinks, at least, that's not what he used to think. There was a time when Zuko cared about the safety of soldiers he had never even met, so much so that he spoke out of turn, which is what led to the domino effect that caused all of them to be sitting on that ship together. And this is brought full-circle when Zuko climbs the ladder to help the helmsman at the end of the episode. And that's when the crew realizes that, temperament aside, Zuko actually has been and is still willing to put everything on the line for the safety of others.

[crescentmoonlupin]

I don't expect a novel romance for the two of us, where everything is always very beautiful, it's even unreal.

I just want to be able to stay, make you smile, silence your fears with a kiss, show that it's safe to get lost in my embrace and ensure that even in the most difficult times, the two of us together is still the best option.

Love is when you look at the person and you're sure you didn't want anyone there but them.

Regardless of fights, arguments or bad phases.

Love is overcoming problems and challenges. it is to be greater than the evil eye of others, envy and evil.

Love is staying, rain or shine,

and I stay for you.

Artist: @c2ndy2c1d