cruddyborderlandstheories

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

The BL3 Vault Hunters being some of, if not the only people alive that can read and understand Eridian is absolutely hilarious to me. Because like, imagine you're a researcher who's spent your whole life looking into deciphering the language and then here comes foxy grandpa, drunk off his ass, being guided in by the hot muscle mommy siren, the soldier who's drooling over said siren, and the murder robot/animal rights activist. How would you trust anything they said???? THEY'RE CHAOS

#The descriptions are killing me

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8yHnscLwOY <- you were mentioned in this epicnng youtube video cruddy you're famous now

OMG thank you for letting me know, that's hysterical XD

Will be interested to see if he continues this series! I notice it's been about a month since he last updated it. There's a lot to cover in 3, from Krieg and Maya getting cut from Skywell-27, to Troy's entire fight + his cut lines actually getting proc'ed if you skip the cutscene fast enough, to the Architects and the pyramid Vault Key, to the twins having different ECHO profile pictures, to the final boss fight cutting NPCs like Lilith... And that's just 3. There's a ton of stuff for 2, too! Damn, maybe I should've been a YouTuber...

#Thank you for letting me know! That's pretty cool haha #Will be following. He never really caught my attention with the clickbaity titles but this is an interesting series #Thank you!! #Ask #Cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Nooo you cant pin reblogs what the shit. Here's a link to the ask about the Google drive with the audio in case anyone is looking for it!

#I hope this helps! #Cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

who put the oozing breeder in the mailbox

#phrasing. #cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Now that Trigun is suddenly super duper popular... Ahem ahem

Hello, new Trigun fans! Would you like some Borderlands x Trigun crossover art in this trying time (waiting for season 2)?

OK, so, actually the reason I reblogged this was I was thinking abt them while doing the dishes:

Space future sci-fy

Hellscape desert planet with wild west vibes

Questionably blonde

Keeps getting shot at by bandits

Very strong stance on killing

Silly goofy to hide the profound sad

Spiky hair

Hidden blade

Friends with a duo comprised of a short lady and a strong lady

Give themselves silly names

Likes to drink!!!

Flirtatious (well...)

Skin-tight body suits

Guns! Lots of them!

People keep trying to kill them

Villainous brother(s)

Was it any wonder I latched onto Zane as soon as he was introduced lmao

welcome (back) to junpai-7 🌞✌

#Cruddy rambles #When I datamined the new skills I remember praying Zane's new gun would act/look like the angel arm #Pretty sure I even made a post about it #I mean. Borderlands and Trigun are SO perfect for each other #Like river your eridians/plants au is SO SO SO good and it works so perfectly

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

YEAH BABY WOOOOOOOO

#god roll let's GOOOO #/j #borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #you bet your ass i bought it

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Annnnd here's the borderlands 2 audio files + cut lines for fun. This one's my favorite, especially the cut story stuff. For example, originally we had beat up Fink for info on Lilith, which is why he's working for Moxxi later on in the circle of slaughter. Also, Brewster was actually the name of a bandit we would've fought. Stuff like that.

do you by any chance still have the bl3 content from google drive? i was hoping to go through the vo files and i remember you having them all sorted into folders. i imagine they took up a TON of space though so understandable if you don't! thank you :D

i do!

i did take it down because of space, i needed the room for personal stuff. funnily enough it was about a week before you sent this lmao, i didn't expect anyone to still be interested! you've prompted me to reupload them to another, new, better drive that is solely for borderlands things!

it might take a bit.

the cut content and bl2 folders will also be added after this one goes up, they're pretty large too. i'll reblog this or something when they're ready for viewing :)

in the meantime, if you own the game and feel up to it, i made a guide for extracting the audio files- bc I never actually finished sorting all of them lmao. there may be more cut content in there that hasn't been found yet! i'll get around to sorting it all... eventually :p

#cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

@controlcoreangel here you go! the other two folders are still uploading, they should be available about 7-8 hours from now :) Enjoy!

do you by any chance still have the bl3 content from google drive? i was hoping to go through the vo files and i remember you having them all sorted into folders. i imagine they took up a TON of space though so understandable if you don't! thank you :D

i do!

i did take it down because of space, i needed the room for personal stuff. funnily enough it was about a week before you sent this lmao, i didn't expect anyone to still be interested! you've prompted me to reupload them to another, new, better drive that is solely for borderlands things!

it might take a bit.

the cut content and bl2 folders will also be added after this one goes up, they're pretty large too. i'll reblog this or something when they're ready for viewing :)

in the meantime, if you own the game and feel up to it, i made a guide for extracting the audio files- bc I never actually finished sorting all of them lmao. there may be more cut content in there that hasn't been found yet! i'll get around to sorting it all... eventually :p

#have fun!!! #ask

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

do you by any chance still have the bl3 content from google drive? i was hoping to go through the vo files and i remember you having them all sorted into folders. i imagine they took up a TON of space though so understandable if you don't! thank you :D

i do!

i did take it down because of space, i needed the room for personal stuff. funnily enough it was about a week before you sent this lmao, i didn't expect anyone to still be interested! you've prompted me to reupload them to another, new, better drive that is solely for borderlands things!

it might take a bit.

the cut content and bl2 folders will also be added after this one goes up, they're pretty large too. i'll reblog this or something when they're ready for viewing :)

in the meantime, if you own the game and feel up to it, i made a guide for extracting the audio files- bc I never actually finished sorting all of them lmao. there may be more cut content in there that hasn't been found yet! i'll get around to sorting it all... eventually :p

#thank you!! #ask #if there's anything else you'd like me to share let me know #have a good one!

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Magnificent MLM Matchup Round 2

#go hammylocks go

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Magnificent MLM Matchup Round 2

#... Maybe I just remembered I have a borderlands blog and can reblog this here XD #Winny my beloved I hope you win

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Not me just now realizing the reason Hyperion injected eridium/slag into the eyes of the lab rats specifically was because they had the eye of the Destroyer on Helios and now both can shoot lasers

I may be stupid🧍🏻‍♂️

#borderlands #Cruddy rambles #In other news #The Destroyer was mutated by eridium and water is wet #Like. I connected the eridium experimentations. And the special voice lines for phaselock. But the actual reasons they focused the eyes #Of the lab rats just never. Hit. #I even connected the wormhole threshers and the Destroyer + Terry. But. I am a bit... Oblivious. It would seem #Like there are two options. The Destroyer is just Like That and eridium is just Like That bc they're from the same dimension #Which is the boring option. #And then there's the option that the Destroyer was specifically mutated by eridium and Hyperion figured that out and decided to try #Their hand at playing God like the Eridians #Which is objectively the much cooler and thematically appropriate option given we are criticizing corporations here #And also it just makes more sense for the eye to be genuinely panicked when injected in tps if it was experimented on than anything else #Like. I still wish that all of this was the by-product of some Eridian corporation. #To really hammer home the criticisms of the corps in these games. All of this was just some messed up test. #Instead we got. *well*. That. #Which we are ignoring for obvious reasons #Like. Tediore was literally more mysterious and foreboding than the actual Vault and Vault monster. There's a problem here. #Anyway. Yeah. #Wormhole threshers and space time anomalies and the Destroyer and sirens all go hand in hand #And like. Eridian things are literally marked as from the 'Eridian' corporation on their item cards #The guns. The multiple different *types* of guns like BL1 and then BL3. Luneshine being connected to moonstone. Relics + Artifacts! #The mutated fleshy monsters. The rock constructed boys. All of this was just some giant alien corporation playing at god. #How they just ditched the Guardians when they didn't need them anymore like Dahl ditched their workers on Pandora. #According to Nyriad we lived side by side with them. Capitalism is a disease. It spread. #Until they literally made us forget they lived next to us which is mind boggling. You don't just forget that. #She left all of those etchings across multiple planets. We *had* space travel unless she was a Phasewalk siren. *Someone* should've written #Down *something* about the eridians. It would've kept forever in the digital age. The forgetting was 100% intentional #Also the guns are literally confirmed to be connected to the Vault Monsters in Bl3 concept art if the designs weren't enough for you #Like. They were so clearly doing this on purpose

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

ra ra rasputin

i have the ‘i can fix him’ instinct, but only for pieces of media

the booty shorts say “junpai-7′s most wanted” on the butt

#borderlands #bl3 #borderlands 3 #h2o au #cruddy rambles #getting back into the swing of things #i had to look up a reference to draw zoomer right! :0 #new tales making me want to polish up my junpai-7 fic and post it just to prove something lmao #*I* did the Guardian possession thing BEFORE you gearbox and *I'll* write it BETTER! #/lh in case that wasn't obvious im still tickled pink that my reasoning for moonstruck ppl in h2o au ended up being canon #the Driver isn't alone anymore ;u; #oh. wait. um. hm... we kinda... yeah... #okay so... she's alone again. but! she can hang out with the Raiders

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

soooo I keep getting asked about NTFTBL and what I dislike about it and stuff and stuff, so I made a Google Docs write up [sorry abt the length in advance] for everyone who wanted to know :) It also contains a full summary of the plot in case you don’t feel like playing it yourself. I do not pull my punches, so if you liked this game, even a little, please keep that in mind if you decide to read this! It is not my intent to start anything, nor am I judging anyone who liked this game- genuinely, I’m happy for you- I’m just explaining why I’ll personally be considering this game non-canon going forward.

@duela-quinzel​ I added a little more attention to the part about the ‘phasewalk gun’ in it (it’s right under the story section if you use the Document Outline), so I hope that answers ur ask about it!!

Keeping a brief spoiler-y answer to ur ask below the cut:

To put it simply, it would be like me turning on a speaker and going ‘wow, batteries can talk!’ but the batteries are Eridium and the speaker is a gun that gifts the Phasewalk ability. Obviously, that’s nonsense! The batteries are just powering it! They can’t talk! And yet when I replace the batteries with orange paint [that can also power things... listen, it’s not a perfect metaphor, I know, but I also don’t know any other speaker parts, so bear with me, please], the speaker just starts making things orange instead of emitting sound, however garbled it should be. The paint is Anahatium. You can imagine my utter bafflement at this.

#NTFTBL #New tales from the borderlands #borderlands #spoilers #cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

So no bath water?

#It's bc he's a merman guys it's fine #Borderlands #You get 1 meme and it's bc it's H2O au related. I'm still mad tho #Cruddy rambles #Brought to my attention by the lovely wild west Pyro and I owe you my life #I'm coping FINE shut up 🥲😭

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

Actually me tonight. I'm that frog. Me. Right now. Grrr.

Just gonna live my life thinking H2o au is canon and then when the next game comes out and references things in Bl3 I'm gonna be like

#I still feel ill thinking about the implications of ntftbl but alright 👍 #Cruddy rambles

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

NTFTBL spoilers ahoy.

Welp I just beat ntftbl and I'm so done man. What a terrible game.

I could've just ignored the bad writing if they didn't also fuck with the lore and show obvious disregard to. Well. Almost everything they've previously established, but um. Wow. Wow! I'm speechless. I've never alt f4ed a game intentionally before. Then again, I've never been so frustrated and bored to tears by a game's writing before either. It speaks volumes that my 3 favorite characters were side characters with such minimal screen time that it wasn't possible to make them insufferable. And the character writing (or lack of) isn't even what I'm annoyed the most about.

Tl;dr: they ignored already established pieces of lore that they could've expanded on (artificial/pseudo-Sirens like the Lost Legion) to instead introduce something so bizarrely out of left field it completely skews the balance of the lore we already have. And it sucks! Like it's a genuinely shitty addition imho. I really feel like artificial Sirenhood like the Lost Legion would've worked BETTER with Anu's character than the half-assed crystal danny phantom blob ghost demigod story we actually got. So it pisses me off that instead of working with things that have already been established in the lore, the writers decided to um... ruin the balancing of the lore for entire rest of the series? Because of a pocket watch? Yeah.

[Edited because this game is legitimately making me experience the stages of grief, that's how bad it was. I think I'm on bargaining right now.]

So. Awful writing and lore being taped on with no afterthought. What an insulting, tepid, uncreative addition to what so far had been a pretty cool story. At least in 3 there was an attempt to introduce something interesting and unique to the established lore. This was just... Bad. I can't even properly articulate how bad this game was. I had one line of dialogue from the playable characters that I enjoyed and it was because it off-handedly proved one of my theories correct. Out of 8 hours of gameplay. One. Line.

Also, I've read and written enough bad fanfic in my life to see where they're taking things and I am so done with their lore additions. Me and my AU will prosper without any horrible, impulsive, unplanned additions, thanks very much. It's certainly better written than this game is and I wrote that thing 3 years ago now.

Like sure there is still a shred of hope that they can fix things in future games, but fuck. This was bad. I really genuinely am so disappointed by this game in general but ESPECIALLY what they've added lore-wise. What a disappointing, overused, clichéd addition. I really hoped they'd do something interesting with the things they'd been setting up with the mutations or lost legion or any of that. Nah, ignore all that in favor of shitting all over the Eridians for a throwaway joke in episode 2 and then oop SPOILERS! Demigods exist now!

But sure, whatever, I bet that won't be a nightmare to write around or anything. I'm certain the writers at Gearbox are totally competent enough to write around Actual God Powers without any plot holes :) I mean they can't even manage it with any of the Siren powers they've introduced so far, but, hey! I'm sure it'll be fine! This is sarcasm, by the way. Because oh my God, they can't even write around their limited siren powers without tripping themselves up or being totally unclear on wtf is going on or what a character's power set actually is. How the hell are they going to manage literal demi/gods???

They had such an interesting set-up going on with mutations and elements and the different crystals and pseudo-Sirens existing via the Lost Legion and dimensional fuckery and the Guardian rebellion and everything. It was so promising to see a tales game coming out with all of that lore finally having been actually set up. There was a kind of cohesion to all the lore after 3, you could kinda comprehend the power of all the players in the story, there was this sense that this could eventually be explained by the characters, like there'd be an actual reason for any of this. And they fucked it all up in a single spin-off WITHIN A TIME FRAME OF FIFTEEN MINUTES. I'd be amazed if I wasn't so insulted. Maybe time can heal this wound, too, but for now I am SO over this. Like. Fuck this. Actually. I bet they thought they were so clever tying Sasha's healy pocket watch into this. But no. Not when the fucking reason is 'demigods exist now lol'. Fuck that.

What really sucks is that they could've had such an interesting story with artifical/pseudo-Sirens... You know, like the Lost Legion. The thing we were convinced Bl3 would be about bc of all the psychos with rakk wings. That's what episode 1 felt like it was building up to with the Phasewalk device (which I'm also pissed off about for multiple reasons but man just fucking whatever I don't care anymore just keep introducing MORE characters that are 2D as fuck). Fiona's whole elemental pistol? Would've tied neatly into how sirens are masters of elemental magic. How eridium/slag mutation tends to mutate you into having an elemental affinity (looking at you Bloodwing, Krieg). Keep the whole "we're tying this back into the og tales" thing actually consistent. Was fucking 'demi/gods real' really their ONLY solution to how that pocket watch healed Sasha in Tales 1? Fucking really???? When Eridians/Sirens/Seraphs exist, they could've picked ANYTHING from their arsenal of pre-existing plot points. But nah. Throw THOSE in the trash. Who cares about stuff we've already introduced??? We want to have demigods in our story now. Why? Because fuck you, that's why. They had SO MUCH POTENTIAL. They had SO MUCH TO WORK WITH. The stories they could've made if they actually decided to consider their own lore!!! So WHY????

#I was already annoyed in ep2 but this? Oh my god. I'm speechless. #Ntftbl #New tales from the borderlands #Borderlands #Spoilers #Mostly just me complaining #I should've guessed after ep 2 that the garbage chute was metaphor for the rest of the game #I can't even feign comedic anger I am genuinely just so depressed over this. #Ep 2 was just so disrespectful and then to pull what they did in ep 5. I was trembling with actual rage by the end of it all. #I can't believe they threw away everything for THIS