ebenelephant

[ebenelephant]

legitimately so scary that i just made a doctors appointment for 2025. you mean the far distant sci fi future 2025? you mean the pacific rim 2025? you mean i have to go to the doctor while giant robots are fighting the fucking kaiju? fuck all the way offfffffff

[ebenelephant]

Unfortunately this is funny as hell

[ebenelephant]

[ebenelephant]

[ebenelephant]

talking to people while holding a beverage is awesome because you don't have to know what to do with your hands and when you don't know what to do with your face you can just take a sip

[ebenelephant]

[ebenelephant]

Every time I see someone say Ed and Stede would have vanilla sex I lose years off my life. I hate when people have takes that aren't technically problematictm but reveal what I consider to be a complete lack of media comprehension. Like girl they did horny stabbing!!! On your screen!!!! He wore a cat bell and asked Stede to use the mean voice!!! They're kinksters!!!!

[ebenelephant]

#cats #animals #cute #pets

[ebenelephant]

[ebenelephant]

i know being extremely ill is a tremendous burden and i would never truly want to be sicker than i currently am, but fuck i hate being stuck in the grey area of chronic illness. that area of being able to shower yourself most days, of being able to cook sometimes, of being able to walk up a flight of stairs, of being able to drive a car, but also of not being able to work or study, of not being able to stand for longer than 5 minutes, of not being able to walk long distances or play sports or, let’s be honest, have sex. i don’t know where i am or where that leaves me, and what makes it harder is that the line between what a chronically ill person can do and should do is very, very blurry. it’s so, so hard living your life in a constant state of limbo

[ebenelephant]

randomly remembering the time in 2012 when everyone kept saying the world was going to end at midday that day and like, i didnt really believe it, but i didnt want to be a complete fool if i was wrong, so i excused myself from class to go sit the field and perfectly timed the beat drop to a skrillex song just in case something happened. and im just. retroactively amused by the idea of ushering in the appocalypse with skrillex. most 2012 thing you could possibly do.

[ebenelephant]

he's fighting a beautiful buff lady. her shirt gets ripped and she's left in her slutty little tank top. "come on," you think. "why is the woman always wearing sexier things than her male counterparts." but fear not. now HE takes off his shirt and he's left in HIS slutty little tank top. equality. and then they kiss

[ebenelephant]

Dogshite website for real

[ebenelephant]

i don't know man, i just wish that we could [suddenly realising i'm coming dangerously close to expressing a real and earnest thought instead of filtering everything through several layers of intangible running bits] blow up the entire world. or something.

[ebenelephant]

I was today years old when I realized "Acronym" stood for "Anyone Can Rationalize Obvious Nonsense You Moron"

[ebenelephant]

[ebenelephant]

If a worker who isn't the owner says ANYTHING similar to "I'm not really supposed to do this but-" and then does something that helps you, under no circumstances inform the business, including through reviews. You tell them that the worker was polite, professional, the very model of customer service and why you like to go there. You do not breathe a word of the rulebreaking.