fairytaleofbliss

[fairytaleofbliss]

So many complexities, but not substantive thoughts perplexed my mind.

I am starting to overthink things  that somehow  I am lost for words.

I can't explain nor think straight what's in my head

There's too much information on the social media platform, workplace and people I talk with

I want to claim peace and bliss

Deadbeat and constantly thinking of change.

I'm in a loop of hell, like there's a torment of everything

Am I a bad person? If yes, I might as well deserve a punishment.

If not, Why would I feel like a misfit, undeserving, an outcast

Is there really something wrong with me?

I know pain has a purpose

Perhaps, I am a mediocre person, who doesn't want change and make a difference

and feel good about my whole self. 

I love myself, knowing that I deserve more and good things in life. 

But right now, I realize that maybe I'm not belong to the population

of lucky happy people.

I'm too numb to feel things

I feel empty all the time.

I know in m heart that I need God. 

What else is there to fight for?

What is truly my desire? Passion to thrive everyday?

I want to explore but what holds me back?

I desire adventures and wisdom

but where do I start? 

If it starts with me, How can I be a person of change? Frustration is all I felt.

Disappointment has become inevitable.

I just wanna be genuinely happy.

I am unstable to do what is right.

My network has a detrimental cause of my mental health.

I am doomed. 

Control and Choice

Just starting to read daily stoic on its page 1, clarity: control and choice. My understanding to this philosophy. Is to identity the things that are not under my control, which is the external factors that  might interfere in my decisions and how I perceive the present time. Those external factors like, instances that some people will not like you no matter how pure your intentions are and YOU as it is. Don't try hard. Don't beg for love. if that's the case, focus on the things that you can change which is within our controls. You are making a change for yourself not to please everybody's approval. It will torpedo  your life  if you do things for people who wouldn't truly see your value.  You cannot change your past trauma, and the pain you have felt during the times when we feel powerless. The power you have right now, is to change your habits so you can bless your future by doing the right thing in the moment that can enhance or improve your personal and professional growth. Live in the present time is the only way we can make choices. Heal everyone.

Choose your battles.

epictetus,discourses 2.5 4-5

"..the same is true for us to day. If we can focus on making clear what parts of our day are within our control and what parts are not, we will not only be happier, we will have a distinct advantage over people who realize they are fighting in unwinnable battle."

#personal #writing #my thougts #seriously though #thoughts #lifehacker #pro life #mind #hopeful #thinking #existence

[fairytaleofbliss]