fashionandtrauma

[fashionandtrauma]

The Journey by Mary Oliver

One day you finally knew

what you had to do and began

though the voices around you

kept shouting

their bad advice –

though the house

began to tremble

and you felt the old tug

at your ankles

“Mend my life!”

each voice cried.

But you didn’t stop.

You knew what you had to do,

though the wind pried

with its stiff fingers

at the very foundations

though your melancholy

was terrible.

It was already late

enough, and a wild night,

and the road full of fallen

branches and stones.

But little by little,

as you left their voices behind,

the stars began to burn

through the sheets of clouds,

and there was a new voice

which you slowly

recognized as your own,

that kept you company

as you strode deeper and deeper

into the world,

determined to do

the only thing you could do –

determined to save

the only life you could save.

[fashionandtrauma]

Whose world is this? The world is yours, the world is yours It's mine, it's mine, it's mine Whose world is this?

Nas

#nas #newyorkcity #equality #love #happiness #loveistheonlythingthatheals

[fashionandtrauma]

People talk about forgiveness like it's this nonchalant choice you suddenly make in one second before you meet your friends at Panera for lunch and not this excruciating, gradual, meticulously tended to, bloody, sweaty, insane, bone scraping, tooth grinding rebirth of the self.

[fashionandtrauma]

#ladoleurexquiseAW21

[fashionandtrauma]

beautiful ghosts

Follow me home if you dare to I wouldn't know where to lead you Should I take chances when no one took chances on me? So I watch from the dark, wait for my life to start With no beauty in my memory All that I wanted was to be wanted Too young to wander London streets, alone and haunted Born into nothing At least you have something, something to cling to Visions of dazzling rooms I'll never get let into And the memories were lost long ago But at least you have beautiful ghosts And so maybe my home isn't what I had known What I thought it would be But I feel so alive with these phantoms of night And I know that this life isn't safe, but it's wild and it's free All that I wanted was to be wanted I'll never wander London streets, alone and haunted Born into nothing With them, I have something, something to cling to I never knew I'd love this world they let me into And the memories were lost long ago So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts The memories were lost long ago So I'll dance with these beautiful ghosts

[fashionandtrauma]

The get by

Don’t be silly. Why would anyone be jealous of you. You have nothing to show for your life. You are nothing. All along you have just been doing the bare minimum to stay safe as safe as could be to keep them from commenting, from their direct attacks, their onlooking eyes. Do not shine too bright, do not show your true self. Anytime you do that is when the dark ones always come out to get you, you know. You have known it every time. But do not feel bad for yourself. Get over it. You have no right to feel badly. It could be worse. I could have given you up for adoption or chosen to terminate the pregnancy. Plus you had all those shiny things. You were given all those things so that others could think it was so much better than it was. So that you could make me look good but never admit it. Until you learned the truth. Until you felt the true deprivation because for the first time you were given a dose of love. Just a dose. 45 minutes. Attention. Connection. Someone desiring to know you. And the jig was up. The veil was blown. They do not love you she said. They are not family. That is just your therapist. The web of lies she continued to try and spin to keep you hooked. The stranger who knows nothing about you who doesn’t care to know anything about you, or about all the people who tried to hurt you. That stranger you call mom.

#empathic souls #npd parent #npdsurvivor #fashionandtrauma #sad

[fashionandtrauma]

[fashionandtrauma]

For everything there is a season

For everything there is a season. There is a time to grieve in the winter of our pain and a time to understand the how and why of our pain in these season of integration, the spring of our recovery. There is a season of resolution in our blossoming summer when we accept what has happened and finally there is a season of harvest when we joyfully forgive the past.

This journey through the seasons is a journey within. A journey in which we are led and supported by our intuitive wisdom, our higher parent. The first step of this journey is the admission of the love we have for our inner child and our powerlessness to change the past.

[fashionandtrauma]

Balance

And you can clean around the wound If you want to It just takes time

And you can go to the moon But if you want something to change You gotta change your life And take your time It just takes time It just takes time It just takes time Hard work and your time

And the sun will leave a wound And leave you to the night And that's alright Because before the moonbeam comes There's a certain calm And then there's light

It just takes time It just takes time A little trust and your time You can change your life It just takes time A little trust and your time

And I can sit and talk 'Cause I was just like you So arrogant and brave Impetuous and rude

Trust me as a friend And I'll do all that I can do And I'd do anything for you Because I want to see you through It just takes time Hard work and your time You can change your life

It just takes time A little trust and your time A little trust and your time A little trust and your time It just takes time It just takes time Hard work and your time

~Future Islands

[fashionandtrauma]

I Am Light

I am light, I am light

I am light, I am light

I am light, I am light

I am light, I am light

I am not the things my family did

I am not the voices in my head

I am not the pieces of the brokenness insideI am light

I am light

I am light, I am light

I am light, I am light

I am light, I am lightI'm not the mistakes that I have made

Or any of the things that caused me pain

I am not the pieces of the dream I left behindI am light

I am light

I am light

I, I am light

I am light, I am light

Ay-yeah

I am light, I am lightI am not the colour of my eyes

I am not the skin on the outside

I am not my age

I am not my race, my soul inside is all light

All light

All light, yeah

All lightI am light, I am light

I am light, I am light, yeah

I am divinity defined

I am the god on the inside

I am a star

A piece of it all

I am light

~India Arie

[fashionandtrauma]

The destitute child

Precious gems are everywhere in the cosmos and inside of every one of us. 

I want to offer a handful to you, my dear friend. 

Yes, this morning, I want to offer a handful to you. A handful of diamonds that glow from morning to evening. 

Each minute of our daily life is a diamond that contains sky and earth, sunshine and river.

We only need to breathe gently for the miracle to be revealed; birds singing, flowers blooming. 

Here is the blue sky. Here is the white cloud floating, your lovely look, your beautiful smile. 

All these are contained in one jewel. 

You who are the richest person on earth and behave like a destitute son, please come back to your heritage. 

Let us us offer eachother happiness and learn to dwell in the present moment. 

Let us cherish life in our two arms and let go of our forgetfulness and despair. 

Thich Nhat Hanh

[fashionandtrauma]

[fashionandtrauma]

[fashionandtrauma]

[fashionandtrauma]

Sky full of song

How deeply are you sleeping Or are you still awake? A good friend told me You've been staying out so late

Be careful my darling Be careful of what it takes What I've seen so far The good ones always seems to break

I was screaming at my father And you were screaming at me I can feel your anger From way across the sea

I was kissing strangers I was causing such a scene Oh the heart it hurts Such and image of unimaginable things

Grab me by my ankles I've been flying for too long I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song

And I want you so badly But you could be anyone I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song

Hold me down, I'm so tired now Aim your arrow at the sky Take me down, I'm too tired now Leave me where I lie

And I can tell that I'm in trouble When the music starts to play And the cities without seasons It keeps raining in LA

I feel like I'm about to fall The room begins to sway And I can hear the sirens But I can't walk away

Grab me by my ankles I've been flying for too long I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song

And I want you so badly But you could be anyone I couldn't hide from the thunder In the sky full of song

Hold me down, I'm so tired now Aim your arrow at the sky Take me down, I'm too tired now Leave me where I lie

I thought that I was flying But maybe I'm dying tonight I thought that I was flying But maybe I'm dying tonight

I thought that I was flying But maybe I'm dying tonight I thought that I was flying But maybe I'm dying tonight

Hold me down, I'm so tired now Aim your arrow at the sky Take me down, I'm too tired now Leave me where I lie (fire)

Hold me down, I'm so tired now Aim your arrow at the sky Take me down, I'm too tired now Leave me where I lie (fire)

#florence and the machine #sky full of song #love addiction #SLAA #ptsd recovery #dissociativeidentitydisorder

[fashionandtrauma]

[fashionandtrauma]

But childhood prolonged, cannot remain a fairyland. It becomes a hell. Louise Bogan