ghost-orca

[ghost-orca]

Channeling Your Love; Chapter 2

Description: You're a music radio show host in Jackson, Joel meets you, what more can I say?

Warnings: PTSD, Trauma, Future Smut: Just pure fluff for now

You can’t leave

Your breath is hitching, you want to scream

No one’s gonna understand if I let you go

Panic, sweat, tears, all of it taking over you

You’re just gonna have to wait here with me, until you really understand girlie

 You wake up abruptly, sweating and breath heavy. “Goddammit” you whisper to yourself, raising the back of your hand to your sweaty forehead. Looking at the clock on your wooden cart bedside cabinet, you see it’s one minute before your alarm is supposed to go off. You lay back down on the bed, relieved to be where you are. You let the minute pass in bliss, jumping up to your feet in excitement for a new day ahead once the alarm finally goes off. 

You place the needle on your record player and press play to start your morning routine with Make Your Own Kind Of Music by Cass Elliot, starting up the shower. You keep the bathroom door open to enjoy the music.“Singgg your own special song” You sing along as the shower water hits your face, your hips swing side to side along with the song, face beaming with appreciation for a daily shower. You remember being prickly when it came to bathing before the outbreak, getting fussy when your mother insisted you needed to take a shower. Something you learned to never take for granted now. Exiting the shower you dry yourself down with a towel, unable to stop yourself from dancing around your studio along with the music after “Even if nobody else sings alongggg”

 Once you're fully dressed in some bootcut jeans and an old t-shirt, you sit yourself down in your office, writing your cue’s for the day you had planned the previous night, when you wanted to just talk with your audience of Jackson, hoping to build a stronger sense of community through your thoughts, even if it mostly comes off as rambling. Whatever works you tell yourself, at least you're trying. You suddenly hear a knock at your entrance door, surprising you. You walk down stairs to the entrance, opening your door to a young girl with red hair and green eyes. 

“Hey there! I’m guessing your Ellie?” you ask

“Um- yeah! That's me!” She responds, her eyes light up 

“Come on in, I've been so excited to meet you!” You say, holding the door open for her. She agrees to come in with a huge grin on her face.

 Ellie starts showing up at 9am everyday from then on, and you teach her everything there is to know about hosting a radio show for the next three weeks while she keeps her journal on hand, writing down almost everything you have to teach her. She watches you intently as you host, dancing with you whenever you do, asking about different bands and songs she’d find in your various selections. She’d start calling you Radio Queen, or R.Q. for short, and you’d found it endearing. Eventually in time, after playing Heart Cooks Brain by Modest Mouse, which Ellie had suggested to play,  you start speaking into the mic. She’s ready, you think. “Listen up Jackson, I think everyone should know that I've had a lovely young apprentice these last three weeks, her name is Ellie, and if you haven't met her, you should! She’s a really great kid, and if I'm ever out of commission, I think Ellie would be perfect for doing the job in my place.” You look towards Ellie, and she’s beaming with excitement. You give her a wide smile back, feeling a sense of pride. She runs over and gives you a hug once the next song starts and you hug her back. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou!” Ellie says, jumping up and down excitedly. You start to feel emotional in the embrace, holding back tears, “You’re welcome kiddo” is all you can manage.

 An hour passes, and you remember Ellie has to go back home soon, you look at her mouthing  ‘say your goodbyes' after the last song ends, she nods in excitement, running over. “Hey Jackson! It’s Ellie here! I'm sure you heard that I’m gunna rule this station one of these days, and it’s gunna be badass!” She shouts into the mic. You start giggling, waving your hand at her to stop before she’s even begun. A knock at the door is heard. You look to Ellie to encourage her to keep going and go downstairs to answer the door. You're still giggling when you open up the front door, shaking your head. Once you look up you make eye contact with Joel, his hand leaning against the wall with his other hand in his pocket. You didn't know he was thinking about how to pose himself for five minutes before knocking on the door in case you had answered. He gives you a subtle smirk, looking down at you. “Heard Ellie got a promotion.” he piped up, rubbing his fingers together with his hand still leaning his body in the same position. You’re dumbstruck by how he holds himself, straightening your shoulders back to perk yourself up as you clear your throat. “She, um, yeah she deserves it. She’s been working really hard here, and we’ve been having alotta fun.” You respond, shyly making eye contact. His hazel eyes look so pretty. You want to stare into them forever. Joel’s still smirking at you, play it cool, old man he thinks to himself. You both hear Ellie from upstairs “And with that, I bid you all adieu with- Liiizstoo-Listo-whata? I don’t fucking know how to pronounce that but it’s by Phoenix!” Her voice draws out the name as the music starts. 

 You slap your hand against your forehead, cringing in embarrassment “Lisz-to-mania.” you whisper to yourself. Joel chuckles, shaking his head “I’m sorry about that, I’ll be sure to talk to her about it.” You start pumping your fist lightly against your forehead, nodding in agreement. You’re aware that Jackson isn’t a judgemental community, but you try to keep things professional in the most light hearted sense to hold up a certain standard, even in a world that doesn’t care about professionalism anymore. Breathing out a sigh, you let it go as Ellie makes her way downstairs to you and Joel. “Hey kiddo, congrats on your big step up the ladder.” Joel says this as he pulls Ellie into an awkward side hug squeeze, Ellie rolls her eyes. “It’s not that big a deal, man.” Her response makes you pout, you thought it was a big deal honestly. You saw it as Ellie making a big step in continuing what you were trying to rebirth into the world, a small win for humanity in rebuilding. Joel notices your disappointment, nudging Ellie. “Not that I’m not fucking thrilled though!” She responds eagerly looking up at you, Joel nods in agreement, “Yeah and I’m real proud of you kiddo, honest to god I came running straight here to give ya a big hug and tell ya how proud I am when I heard the news from Tommy.” He gives Ellie another tight squeeze. Ellie blows a raspberry in response “Tsk, yeah right old man.” Hiding the blush creeping on her face as she looks away out of embarrassment. 

 You watch the two of them in awe, remembering when your father would come home to you and your mother from work, giving you a big hug and letting you go on and on about your day or whatever “cool” rock you had found. Then your mind flashes back to when he hadn't come home, the TV streaming panic on the news “Everyone needs to stay indoors for safety”, your mother crying over the phone dialing over and over “Pick up, pick up, god please pick up.”

 You interrupt your train of thought, “Well, I should get back to it.” putting a lid on your memories. Joel noticed your mind was somewhere else for a moment, “Uh, sure, d’ya need help with anything before we go?” He’s not even sure why he asked, just felt like he had to when he saw the look on your face. “Nah that’s alright, but thanks anyway.” you say, having fully found your bearings now as you pull your hair back, giving him a nod and smile to show you're alright. He nods, “Alright then, give me a holler if you need anything. Let’s get going Ellie'' he starts making his way back with Ellie, “Thanks Joel. Ellie, I’ll see you at 9 tomorrow?” You ask, “Yep! Seeya!” Ellie waves her hand up in your direction, already walking back a couple steps ahead of Joel leisurely. Joel stops a moment to look bad at you, “Sure you're alright?” he asks out of earshot from Ellie, drawling in a slight whisper with concern in his voice. You look at him as he doesn’t break eye contact, slightly taken aback by his concern for you, but find it endearing. “Yeah, just a bit tired is all.” You manage to answer as you feel your belly start to tighten, cheeks warming up. He smiles and nods again, “Alright then.” pacing his way down to follow Ellie home as you watch his back walk away from you, noticing how defined his shoulders are even in a winter jacket.

 A few hours pass in solitude, two glasses of bourbon in for the night to come to a close for your show. You watch snowfall cover the town as smooth jazz plays, it's so peaceful. You look down at a familiar small box in the cupboard next to your desk. Pulling it out and placing the box on your desk, you lift the boxes covering, staring at a lone silver lighter with the engraving of a topless mermaid, the edges of it smoky and blackened. You take the lighter out of the box, observing it, then switching the lighter on to see if it will still set aflame. It does, and you shudder. Still burning, after all these years you think to yourself. A hidden secret that no one dares to try to uncover. Placing the lighter back into its box and under the cupboard, you sigh, and take a long sip of your drink. 

 As the final note fades out you bring the recorder up to your lips to say goodnight to Jackson with a final song, Weak by SWV “I hope everybody has a somebody that they can dance along to this song with, ‘fore closin’ the curtains'' Your words are a bit slurred from the alcohol in your system. “And with that, I bid y’all a goodnight.” Cutting out you pick yourself up to sway along slowly, snapping along to the beat. Your head spins as you do, “Can’t explain why your loving makes me weak” sung along. A knock at the door makes you jump, and quickly you fix yourself to get ahold of your bearings. Going down to answer the door in frustration you assume it's Maria asking you to take on a patrol job for someone the night before, again. “Maria, I’ve told you before you have to give me atleast a day’s notice to- '' swinging open the door mid sentence, you see it's not Maria, but it is in fact Joel. He looks cold, like he’s been standing there in place for a while, waiting for you - He was, working up the courage to knock on your door- his eyes widened upon seeing you, not expecting that you would really answer. 

 “Sorry-” You start saying at the same time, both surprised at each other's company. “Uh, you go first, sorry.” you're flustered, what is he doing here? You think, but you realize that you're somewhat happy to see him. He looks away from you, rubbing his bearded cheek, embarrassed. What the hell am I doing here? He thinks to himself. “I was uh, I was at the bar and I heard you talking on the radio and thought, you might have wanted some company. It’s my day off tomorrow, so, I don’t gotta get up early.” Your face starts heating up, Is he insinuating what I think he…? It dawns on Joel what he’s just said to you, “I didn't mean it like- I don't- ah christ.” You blink, he is making this so damn awkward you think, you’d almost find it adorable if you yourself didn't feel so embarrassed. I am making this so damn awkward Joel thinks to himself, unable to bear it all. “I should just go, I’m sorry for bothering you so late. G’night.” Before he can make a run for it and huddle in shame in the comfort of his own home you call out his name, “D’you...do you wanna share a drink with me?” You start regretting your words once they come out of your mouth, your legs start to shake. Joel looks at you with surprise, letting the moment go quiet for what feels like ages. “Never mind, sorry, goodnight Joel-” before you could slam the door shut and cringe yourself to sleep, Joel catches his foot between the door and its frame. He holds back a pained groan from the fast impact and sheer strength you put into the doors swing. “Shit! Joel, I am so sorry!” You flail your hands widening the door away from his almost crushed foot. “S’alright” he winces out weakly, he’s trying really hard to act like it doesn't hurt that much, but it really does. “Come on, lemme put some ice on that.” You've fully widened the door to invite him in, and he agrees. 

 You attempt to reach a hand out to him to help him up the stairs, but he just raises his hand up shaking his head, insistent on helping himself up. You book your way to the fridge and open the freezer to grab some ice cubes and make an impromptu ice pack covering a small handful with a cloth hand towel, wrapping it up with the hair tie you were using on your ponytail.

Joel limps his way to your old couch, and sits, feeling the uncomfortable springs in the mattress. Should really get ridda this old thing, or at least replace the mattress, wouldn’t be good for their back, he thinks to himself. You sit yourself down on the couch to give him the icepack you made, telling him to put his foot on your lap, and he hesitantly agrees.

You almost take his shoe off for him but feel it would be overstepping, asking him to take his shoe off for you politely. Once it's removed he places his sock covered foot in between your thighs. You place the towel full of ice cubes against his foot and hold it there for a few seconds. “Be sure to hold this in place for a while.” You tell Joel, he nods, unable to speak or look at you at this point, feeling embarressed. He must be mad at me, you assume. You get up and grab the bottle of bourbon from your office and bring over two glasses from your kitchen cabinet to the coffee table. Pouring each of you a glass, you start by apologizing profusely, “this should help with the pain at least.” you say handing a glass to Joel, and he thanks you, taking a sip…

 You spend the next thirty minutes in silence, slowly sipping your drinks while you sit scrunched up at one end of the couch with Joel’s leg stretched out across it sitting opposite you. You finally decide you should play some music on your record player to fill the dead air. “Is there uh- any music you like Joel?” You ask as you get up to look through your various records that you could play. Joel thinks on this for a moment, and you watch him think with anticipation, excited to learn what makes this man enjoy himself. “Zeppelin. You got that anywhere in your collection?” He finally decides. You start grinning ear to ear, quickly digging through your rock albums stack for your copy of Led Zeppelin III.

Once you place the needle on the vinyl disc, Immigrant Song starts playing. You begin bumping your head along with the drum beat and chords. You turn and see Joel is nodding along as well, mouthing along to the “ah ah ahhh”’s of Robert Plant’s singing, eyes shut while his finger waves along with the melody. You start dancing along casually, staying in place as your arms raise and hips start to sway. In this moment what you share is so precious, two people without a worry in an uncaring and gruesome world. The music starts to fade out and you see him watching you, Joel’s been watching you closely the entire time. Swallowing, like your tongue is stuck in your throat, you turn the music down so as not to disturb any sleeping neighbors and plop down on the couch next to him. He watches you push your hair away from your face as he slowly takes a long sip from his glass, drinking you in. 

 Time passes while you both make small talk about the songs as they play, and you realize Joel has rested his leg on your thighs, must have two songs ago. You’ve both finished your drinks at this point and the stillness in the air makes you notice how fast your heart is beating in your chest. Since I’ve Been Loving You reverberates against the walls, and you share a long glance. Joel doesn’t blink, just looks stares and starts making a sultry grin at you. Your heart stops and you look away, pretending to focus on something, anything to peel your eyes away from him before you give yourself away. A heat is pooling in your cheeks and in between your thighs. Joel starts nodding to himself, with a quiet chuckle unheard by you as the music drowns it out. Mighty shy, that one Joel thinks. You let some time pass before deciding to speak, “Joel?” You ask shyly, still not looking in his direction. “Yes darlin’?” Darlin’? Oh man…You find courage and turn your head swiftly to look at him, “I’m really sorry I hurt your foot”, You whisper as you start rubbing your hand up and down the leg he has laid out on you. This cracks Joel up, and he slowly blinks, You are just the most adorable thing he thinks. “I forgive you.” Joel says finally, a smirk on his lips. You bite your lower lip and nod. Sitting in continued silence for what feels like hours, you both slowly drift off to sleep holding the same positions, comfortable in each other's company.  

#joel miller #Joel Miller x Reader #the last of us #tlou #Troy Baker #pedro pascal

[ghost-orca]

Channeling Your Love; Chapter 1

Mind you, this is video game Joel, everything that happens in this story means the pandemic started in 2013 so all the songs are "canon" until after September of 2013, IM SORRY PEDRO PASCAL FANS!!!

Description; You're a music radio show host for Jackson with a hidden past in the apocalypse. What more can I say?

Warnings: Future smut, for now its just meet cute fluff; PTSD for future chapters: it gets real dark guys, this is my first time writing Fanfic so bare with me....

“Alriiight Jackson, it's time to rise and shine! How about we start our day with some positive energy and a good old classic, Conga by Gloria Estefan!” The music playing loudly through the living room, Joel was immediately irritated. “Christ” he mumbled

“Ellie! Turn the radio off!”

“Why?” she yelled back 

“I hate this song, it's too damn loud.” He replied

“Then leave! I'm having fun!”

“Ellie, plea-” 

“Nope! Get grumpy somewhere else, old man.”

Joel sits for a minute, shaking his head “I have had enough of this” he decides, picking up his jacket making his way to the door.

“Where are you going? I was just joking when I said to leave and the song is almost over y’know!” Ellie yells out shaking her body along with the music

“I’m going to that damn radio station, gonna tell them how I feel about their early morning music choices and hopefully change their mind”

Ellie scoffed “good luck ruining everyone's fun dinosaur.” continuing to dance along to the music

Joel scoffed back at her and exited their shared home

After a five minute long uphill walk, Joel spots the radio station Tommy had told him about, stomping upwards to have a word with the radio show host. He knocked loudly on the front door before entering, trying to appear polite at least to have the upper hand, but after a minute of no answer he decided to let himself in, walking up a narrow staircase, following the sound of music, not caring what song was playing even if it was something he liked 

“You can ring my beeellllllll” Was heard reverberating through the walls walking up, finally entering the studio apartment that connected to the radio station room with a glass wall to suppress noise from the outside world. The first thing he sees is you, shaking your hips and ass along to the song, eyes closed never noticing him there. Looking at you he recognized seeing you around town, thinking you were surprisingly fit for someone who doesn't go on patrols, realizing why you were as he watched you. He couldn't help but focus his attention on your ass, the way your hips moved along with the rhythm. 

“Shit” he mumbled to himself, lost in thought looking at you as you swayed by yourself, like no one was watching. 

You open your eyes for a moment noticing the man standing in your studio apartment, immediately freezing in your tracks. “How long has he been standing there?” you thought to yourself, chest heaving, making unbroken eye contact with your stranger. Oh god, he's handsome too you thought, cheeks reddening. 

Joel sees you see him, witnessing you completely stop what you were doing, and gulps.

“Keep going.” He says, feeling rude for interrupting you, but mostly embarrassed, thinking you’d caught him in the act of leering

“W-what?” You respond, having trouble hearing through the glass panel separating the two of you and loud music, gesturing to the glass and record player so he could understand.

Joel understood, and got all the more embarrassed, huffing towards the ground to gain some courage 

“Keep dancing.” He says louder now, and does an awkward little shimmy before pointing to you to make his message more clear. His cheeks start growing red from further embarrassment. “The hell did I do that for?” he questioned himself quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.

You understand him, but the song was almost over at this point, and it's your cue to go back to the live recorder and continue onto the next song. You jolt over to the mic as the final note fades out “Well, ha, that was Ring My Bell from the one hit wonder, Anita Ward everybody! I hope you guys had fun with that one!” You say into the mic, hiding exasperation in your voice. “Up next is-” You look down at your handwritten list of songs scheduled for the day “Last Night by The Strokes!” you announce with fake excitement. You didn't hate the song, but you had just heard it too many times before. Still, it was important for the future to hear as much music as possible as you thought.

Joel is still watching you at this point, impressed by how quick you can turn your heel. You exit the room, into your own studio apartment, facing the man before you, straightening your back and raising your head to meet his hazel green eyes. “Can I help you with something sir?”

“Uh yeah, I um…” Joel felt completely lost, he came here to complain, take out his anger on you, maybe even teach you a thing or two about ‘the real world’, but all those thoughts he had racing up the hill to confront you had muddled after actually seeing you. He didn't know what to say.

“Ash?” you both hear from downstairs, you sighed in relief, recognizing the voice “What's up Eugene?” you yelled down, starting to feel wary of this strange quiet man in your presence. 

“Was just checking if you were okay, I saw the door was open so,” 

“That's my fault, sorry” Joel yelled down in admission, recognizing Eugene's voice as well, Tommy had introduced the two and grew to respect the old man on patrols with him. 

Hearing footsteps up the stairs Eugene enters the room, “Oh hey Joel, didn't know you were a fan of Ash’s station” 

“Um, no I'm not, I mean…” Joel pauses, trying to find the right words, “So your name is Ash?” he dodges the question retorting back to you 

“No” you respond bluntly “Only Eugene calls me that.”

Eugene looks between the two of you, feeling the uncomfortable energy in the air. 

“What do I call you then?” Joel asks, slight frustration he can't control in his voice, trying to stay civil.

“Call me whatever you want, host, radio person, I don't really care” You responded honestly, sensing his frustration, feeling like pushing his buttons. “Why are you here, Joel?” 

“Well” he starts “If I’m being honest, I find your music to be obnoxious.”

“It's not ‘my music’, Joel, it's just music, and if you don't like it you can just turn off the radio or cover your ears if your missus appreciates it more than you do.” You have a smug grin on your face, knowing you have the upper hand “Besides” You start  “No one else in Jackson has complained to my face about what I decide to play, the first exception being you.” You cross your arms. 

Before Joel can say anything, Eugene interrupts “Alright you two, how about I let you just sort this out amongst yourselves. Ash, if you need anything, just gimme a holler. Joel.” he looks at Joel giving him a respectful nod, getting out of there before he can get involved “Thanks Eugene, sorry to worry you.” You wave him goodbye as he books it downstairs out the front door waving back. You're left alone standing with your new ‘acquaintance’ feeling ready for whatever he might throw at you. Joel sighs. “Alright look, first of all I don’t gotta ‘missus’ like you call it, just a very annoying 14 year old who does whatever the hell she wants if it can’t be helped. So you can imagine the strain of dealing with that alone every morning, and then I have to hear the damn Conga song at 9 in the morning trying to enjoy my coffee in peace because it's the only point in the day I can get some time to myself. So forgive me if my much wanted peace and quiet interrupts whatever you have going on here.” You stare at Joel, appreciating his honesty 

“What's her name?” you ask. He looks at you in surprise for a second, breaking his avoidance towards you.

“Ellie, uh, her name’s Ellie” He responds

“Pretty” you say, fully taking her name in to get an image of her in your mind. “Why don’t you send her up here sometime so I can take her off your hands in the morning? I’ve been meaning to find a young apprentice who's passionate about helping me with the work I do around here. If she’s got a lot of energy I think this would be perfect for her.” 

Joel’s still holding eye contact as you see his eyes widening, taking in the idea. “You don-You don't have to do that really. I love the kid to death but- she can be a real handful honestly.” Joel’s embarrassed at this point, surprised at your compassion to help. 

“She sounds like a great kid” you confess, “I can promise you with the work I do she’ll be tuckered out by the time she comes home to you. Plus, with my schedule she’ll be too busy to bother you in the mornings, so you can start enjoying your coffee in peace.” 

Joel thinks on it, starting to consider the pros and cons of the idea. “I’ll have to ask her if she’d even want to first.” he replies, it would be nice if she had something productive to keep herself busy he thinks to himself.

“That’s alright, if she wants to she can just stop by whenever she likes. Today even, I’d be happy to start showing her the ropes, whenever she’s ready.” You smile at him, realizing you might’ve just solved the problem between you two, wanting to start things off civilly with this gruff but shy handsome man you were meeting for the first time. “Okay” He agrees, scratching his beard after making his decision. “Great!” You respond “Tell her she can stop by anytime after 9 am and before 9 pm. I’m excited to meet her!” 

Joel chuckles, “You don't even know if she’s gonna say yes to this whole thing. Don't get too excited.” he explains.

“Well, based on your description of her, and the fact that she’s 14, I’m guessing she’s feeling pretty bored without much to do around Jackson. Besides helping the community, I'm sure she’d be excited at the idea of a creative outlet.” You say in confidence, smile almost giddy remembering how you felt around the same age. “You got a point there.” he responds, smiling back, blushing at the thought of how cute you look when you're excited.“I’m uh, I’m glad we could talk this out. I’ll go and see her right now.” he starts making his way down the stairs to the doorway. 

“Hey Joel!” You speak out, stopping him in his tracks to look up at you, “Don’t be a stranger, stop by sometime to tell me what music I should play for your morning coffee. Or any music, really.” Joel starts to blush again, surprised by you reaching out to him for company. 

“I’ll think about it.” he says, knowing he will come back again just to see you dance again when he works up the courage. He waves you goodbye. “Nice meeting you!” You reply “Yeah, You too.” looking up at your pretty little face one more time before leaving. Making his way straight to Ellie to tell her the news.

#joel miller x reader #tlou #the last of us #Joel Miller #2013 version #video game version #Troy Baker

[ghost-orca]

I've never written fanfiction before until this year, and so far I've written 7 chapters of fanfic which I plan on posting, I hope someone out there likes it

Thanks in advance

#fanfiction #joel miller x reader