ghostjellyfishheart

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Child of divorce Bard whose vicious mockery insults are stuff they heard their parents screaming at each other downstairs

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Being as Dracula Daily is starting up again in about three days, I think this is a perfect opportunity, as we follow along this year, to play the PG-13 game.

For the unfamiliar, the PG-13 game is as follows: you are allowed to insert one and only one instance of the word "fuck" into the text as written. For maximum impact, where do you put it?

#dracula

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I dont know what to say. I’m at a ,’ , |,’_’ for words

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My first prompt by kaitofan666 for SVSSSAction: Shen Qingqiu and a xianxia Hatsune Miku hanging out! They're gossiping~

#svsss

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Guys. I can feel it already. THIS is the year. This is the year that Jonathan Harker will go on his business trip with no issue. Just a lovely train ride through Europe where he collects paprika recipies for Mina, meets some friendly, living people looking to buy properties in England, and then returns home safely.

Free him from the time loop.

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Jet from atla is so funny bc like, he's fighting zuko and taunting him being like "bet you wanna use some fire instead of those swords, dont u fireboy" which is a funny thing to say to a guy who is clearly very eager to fight using swords

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Batman: Why didn’t you tell me?

Batkid: You didn’t ask.

This is a regularly repeating conversation that covers anything and everything. Lost an organ? Well, you didn’t ask. Secretly eloped? Never came up. Adopted a child? Well, I’m telling you now. Spent four months in an alternate dimension and came back ten minutes after you left? Huh, could have sworn I mentioned that, but to be fair it’s not like you asked.

And every. Single. Time. Batman is just like… No? It’s not? Why would I have thought to ask that?

Barbara tells Bruce it’s karma for never telling the Justice League anything. Bruce is not amused. Barbara proceeds to invite him to her wedding.

Bruce: I didn’t know you were dating anyone?

Barbara:

Barbara: Well, it’s not like you asked.

Bruce: *eye spasms*

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Great thank you! I won't have a chance for a while but I'm looking forward to trying it

hey what's the ratios for the cider cocktail, I'd love to try it

The official recipe is 3oz hard apple cider, 1 oz bourbon, and top up with ginger beer (we use the great gentleman spicy ginger beer). In practice, I usually measure out the 1oz bourbon and then fill the rest of the cup with roughly 50/50 ginger beer and apple cider because I'm lazy.

If you do try it I'd love to know what you think!!!

#camlann #this is beautiful #<- putting my faith jn the tumblr search function here's hoping

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magic=gay interpretation is all well and good but personally i think being gay in camelot is actually fine because uther's so focused on getting rid of magic he doesn't really care about anything else. like that politician from australia but with magic instead of crocodiles

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the lego batman movie reads like it was written by jason and tim mocking bruce and dick, like you can’t tell me the batjokes isnt there to piss bruce off, courtesy of tim, or the whole scaly panties thing isn’t jason making fun of the robin uniform

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Cass, pointing at Jason: we're twins

Tim:

Jason: *6'3" 200 lbs of Latino rage and muscle*

Cass: *5'1" 120 lbs of Chinese murder and love*

Tim:

Tim: you're just not

Cass, patting his shoulder: it's okay. easy mistake. we're fraternal twins

Jason, holding up a gun: yep. twins.

Tim: ... good for you

Cass: :D

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proposal for Nino finding out Adrien is Chat Noir scenario:

for Contrived Plot Reasons, Adrien has to use the black cat miraculous in front of Nino. maybe Nino was supposed to pick a substitute wielder, idk.

good thing he has a secret identity for his secret identity. cue Cat Walker.

Nino is so happy. they are going to bro out so hard. no one in the world deserves to feel powerful and free and heroic as much as Adrien does.

Cat Walker has zero fun. Cat Walker is a professional business cat doing his job. This is so awkward and he wants to end it as soon as possible.

Nino is heartbroken and manages to express this to Adrien in a way that successfully lands as "I want so many good things for you" rather than a guilt trip

Adrien chooses to identity reveal to Nino from a place of wanting to share his joy and express his true self to his best friend

#miraculous ladybug

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Clint you've got to be fucking kidding me

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His secret is crippling depression and overwhelming anxiety

(breaks out into funky pop song) 🎶🎵

#miraculous ladybug

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Still really funny that Marvel named a movie “Endgame” and sold it as the final culmination of the MCU where they killed off two main characters and retired a third and then were shocked when people started loosing interest in the MCU after that

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🐟🐡🦈🐠🦐🪼🦞🦀🐳🐋🐬🦭

MARINE BIOLOGY BLAST

#ROCK #geology

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Important not to mess up the timeline when doing time travel shit and meeting your younger self but that doesn't mean you can't make bad jokes about future trauma they have no clue about