girltober

[girltober]

SO FUCKING TRUE laura jane grace. also i am in love with you

[girltober]

For all the eggs out here that need to hear this, it's not a fetish because you get turned on by being in the opposite sex's clothes. You're allowed to express sexuality, you don't need to repress it. It's normal to fantasize about having things like the opposite sex's genitalia. I struggled a lot thinking I was just a fetishist because thinking about being a girl would get me so horny. Truth is that sometimes it's a lot easier to express yourself when you're comfortable in your own body. When you don't feel bad about it, when you don't feel yucky for what you have. It's also really common to go back and forth, I had my genderfluid phase in which I was so indecisive I'd constantly go back and forth on it. It helps to take it slowly and explore yourself, things like being genderfluid exist for a reason. Not everyone who is genderfluid is trans, but you'd be shocked at how many people (such as myself) identified as trans after finally calming down with switching back and forth. It's a hard prospect, it's scary sometimes. I doubt myself all the time, but I'm genuinely happier when people refer to me with feminine pronouns, when I'm dressed pretty and I feel like a pretty girl. It's okay not to know either, you won't get an answer immediately. There exists a wide spectrum for you to fall under, so never stop exploring yourself.

#fuck really needed to hear this today

[girltober]

my toxic trait is that I think those uwu trans girl memes that 19 year olds on reddit make are pretty funny

this is comedy gold to me

[girltober]

Guys y'all should check this out this shit slaps

(Thanks to @cnc-pet for introducing me to it!)

#transgender #gender

[girltober]

im basically like if there was a girl of theseus. or a girl of babel. or a library of girl. or an allegory of the girl. or a roko's girl. or a noah's girl. or a schrodinger's girl. or a girl's dilemma. im basically like all these things

#some of these are better than others #noahs girl is pretty mid I will confess

[girltober]

the other day someone was using one of my preferred pronouns and it felt wrong. little did i know i was undergoing metamorphosis, my masculinity was stolen i transformed into %100 enby

this is the first true time since i figured out i was genderfluid and WOW it hit different. but it feels good knowing what happened and that im valid in my identity, and you are too! it's okay to be inconsistent :3

#omg relatable af #its not just me whos like this 😭😭💜💜

[girltober]

Me and who rule

[girltober]

It all went wrong when I started doubting myself I think. I'm so good at devils advocating.

I'm so worried that claiming the trans label is disrespectful to the people who have realass dysphoria about it, or that my motivations are tainted by ingroup-seeking, or that I'm too autogynophilic about it (I tried so hard not to be a sissy but ended up reinventing something pretty similar from first principles. God this is worth its own post tbh, I have such complicated feelings on sissy fetish. Anyway: I'm not always horny about my own girlhood but sometimes I Definitely Am. ), or that my fucked up kinks make me bad representation...

And the thing is that some or all of these points might be true. Writing them out, some of them shouldn't matter to varying degrees.

But at the end of the day... I think I need to stop caring about what other people think- both the people I know and the hypothetical people I might meet. My questioning of my gender shouldnt be about "am I worthy to be considered trans" or "will other trans people think I'm gross and cringe" it should be about me and what makes me feel happy and confident and relaxed.

As long as I'm doing that, and as long as I'm not hurting anyone... I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm valid and I'm worthy of love. I have to believe that.

Being confident about my gender feels so much better than doubting and dithering, so thats what I'm gonna do.

FACTS!

I frequently like wearing dresses and being girlnamed/girlpronouned! It makes me feel confident and relaxed!

I feel approximately 0 connection to manhood during those periods!

However, Sometimes I do like to Boymode! Sometimes femininity feels oppressive rather than fun!

I need to stop with the whimpering and uncertainty and be confident. I'm not cis. I'm probably genderfluid or genderqueer. I'll work out the details through trial and error- field testing, not overthinking and theorising. Those who doubt me can keep it to themselves and fuck off.

If I change my mind later, so be it. I'd rather be confident and disproven than live in a cloud of uncertainty and self-doubt.

#girl month #girltober #gender

[girltober]

If nothing else, being a girl is my comfort food lol

I've previously said (when doubting my gender) that girl-lifing is nice but unlike Real Trans People I honestly probably could just... give it up at any time and itd be kinda sad but life would go on.

After spending 2 weeks in Japan with someone I don't feel comfortable girlmoding with... I think I've disproven that.

My mental health has been Bad for multiple reasons for a lot of this trip, and I can't blame all or even most of it on gender, but the fact remains that I Cannot Wait to get home and get rid of my body hair and put on a dress.

Kind of a bittersweet realisation tbh. Whether I'm "really" trans or not... Girl is a part of me now and I can't suppress it longterm. There truly is no going back in platos cave.

Does this prove I'm Actually Trans... I dunno. Its certainly trans evidence. Maybe I need to stop worrying and just accept the trans label...

I might make a separate rambly post explaining my sudden hesitance to do that we'll see

[girltober]

I've previously said (when doubting my gender) that girl-lifing is nice but unlike Real Trans People I honestly probably could just... give it up at any time and itd be kinda sad but life would go on.

After spending 2 weeks in Japan with someone I don't feel comfortable girlmoding with... I think I've disproven that.

My mental health has been Bad for multiple reasons for a lot of this trip, and I can't blame all or even most of it on gender, but the fact remains that I Cannot Wait to get home and get rid of my body hair and put on a dress.

Kind of a bittersweet realisation tbh. Whether I'm "really" trans or not... Girl is a part of me now and I can't suppress it longterm. There truly is no going back in platos cave.

Does this prove I'm Actually Trans... I dunno. Its certainly trans evidence. Maybe I need to stop worrying and just accept the trans label...

I might make a separate rambly post explaining my sudden hesitance to do that we'll see

#girl month #girltober #gender

[girltober]

having trans thoughts lately why isn't there just a gender fairy who comes and leaves a little pride flag pin under your pillow and that's your gender that's it confirmed that explains all the feelings and thoughts you've been having

#facts

[girltober]

This is it

#doing my part

[girltober]

This is so annoying my chest is almost fully flat and non-sensitive again and now I miss having tits argh

#girl month #girltober

[girltober]

Very based of me to record my descent into madness like this. When I decide I'm done I should print out my entire post history chronologically and hide pages around my city like easter eggs in a video game that can be reassembled into a complete document that tells the Full Story and then MatPat can make a video about me

#girl month #girltober #normal posts made by someone who is doing swell #is there a word for found footage but its documents not footage?

[girltober]

I'm basically whatever gender the situation calls for honestly

[girltober]

Okay gender hot take: the fact that I'm so chill with ditching every masculine part of myself, using a girlname and girl pronouns... Regardless of my reasons for doing so, that IN AND OF ITSELF is strong evidence that I'm not cis.

Like the fact that my AGAB means so little to me suggests that I'm agender or non-binary

Or just that I'm open-minded and emotionally repressed lol

#girl month #girltober #gender

[girltober]

I love the fact that I can cry like Mary in a pietà for whatever reason now, good or ill.

#fuck I really did cry so much more when I was on girldrugs #makes me want to get back on them tbh #girl drugs #girl month #girltober #i've been kinda yearning for girlhood again recently #but I feel like it really is more a social thing than a gender thing #all the coolest hottest best people I know are girls #how can I not want to be more like them?