han-merlin

[han-merlin]

Reading a book about slavery in the middle-ages, and as the author sorts through different source materials from different eras, I am starting to understand why so many completely fantastical accounts of "faraway lands" went without as much as a shrug. The world is such a weird place that you can either refuse to believe any of it or just go "yeah that might as well happen" and carry on with your day.

There was this 10th century arab traveller who wrote into an account that the fine trade furs come from a land where the night only lasts one hour in the summer and the sun doesn't rise at all in the winter, people use dogs to travel, and where children have white hair. I don't think I'd believe something like that either if I didn't live here.

#as someone who is Estonian #and has regularly been to Finland #i can confirm that Finland is NOT REAL #you're all very welcome #but seriously tumblr really is the website where someone will quote an emotive bit of writing- #-and some unimaginative fuck will reply “but that is an every day thing why are you surprised” #LIKE BRO LOOK AT ME BRO #the 10TH CENtury ARAB traveler had NOT SEEN THE ARCTIC CIRCLE OR BLOND PEOPLE #PLEASE EXERCISE SKILLS OF PERSPECTIVE FOR ONE SECOND EVER #maybe they had albinism #y'all are fucking incredible you know that #truly incredible and incomprehensible

[han-merlin]

Sergio Ramos vs Real Betis; April 28th, 2024

#OLD MAN STILL GOT IT #he's beautiful this was beautiful #i am awed as always #goal line clearances tho #sergio ramos #BETSEV

[han-merlin]

serving CUNT 🫦🫦

#anime character ass pose in the first one #what a guy #paolo maldini #ruud gullit #ac milan

[han-merlin]

Just in case there was any ambiguity left as to who kept us afloat that game and how it so very fucking was not our attack 💀 my god... 17 to 9 and 7 to 0. We are embarrassing. Sportiello Gabbia Thiaw our fucking saviours today. Honestly haven't got a fucking clue how he kept a clean sheet through all that. Man is Good when he's having a good night

#fucking miracle we didn't lose that genuinely #i was so ready for us to lose something horrendous like 4-0 #JUV MIL #marco sportiello #matteo gabbia #malick thiaw #ac milan

[han-merlin]

I can't watch the game, is Giroud okay ? I read his knee is injured ? 😩

He walked off and was walking okay after the game but I'm ngl he looked pretty fucked when it happened. It did not look good and he looked seriously pained. I don't have a good feeling about any news we'll be hearing about it :/

#olivier giroud #ac milan #JUV MIL

[han-merlin]

Sportiello, Gabbia, and Malick putting their whole damn defencussies into not losing this game God Damn

#this is actual fucking chaos #marco sportiello #malick thiaw #matteo gabbia #JUV MIL

[han-merlin]

UHM SO WE'RE JUST ASSAULTING SENIOR CITIZENS NOW ARE WE????????

FUCK THIS??? DO NOT FUCKING TOUCH OLI??

#can we not fucking maim the old man please god #i will kill themmm #JUV MIL #olivier giroud

[han-merlin]

What the fuck was that Sportiello slow mo replay my god man became a contortionist. Putting his life on the line tonight because who needs an intact rib cage anyway amirite

#JUV MIL #marco sportiello

[han-merlin]

Now who let Sportiello cook Got Dayumn. Man's saving our asses tonight

#JUV MIL #marco sportiello

[han-merlin]

Mike got injured during warm up, don't know if it's a real injury yet. They said muscle strain I think

O damn, hope it isn't serious, cannot be having many Mikey-less games. But at least Sportiello seems to be having one of his good nights again today, so we may still pull through. That man's performance seems to be more temperamental than my grandfather when his knees are aching in the cold. But he's not half bad when he's On It, so we'll see

Thank you for your service my anonymous news source

#JUV MIL #mike maignan #marco sportiello #anon my bro

[han-merlin]

Just about to get home and watch the second half of the match I suppose, but I have to worry preemptively because bro... No Theo no Davide no Fik AND no Mikey? Is our defense just like a giant balck hole rn or..... Cannot wait to be absolutely railed by Juve :/

Also. Wtf actually happened to Mikey? He was listed in the starting lineup before....

#ac milan #JUV MIL #mike maignan

[han-merlin]

wait, but I remember liking your post about theo and the red card... but now I checked my likes and it wasn't there

maybe there was some kind of glitch that deleted it? anyway, just wanted to reassure you that you did make the post lol 😂

Okay yeah like I could have SWORN I made the post lmao. Very peculiar, very strange indeed. Tumblr what are you up to again. Stop deleting violence capi posts

But thanks for the heads up lmao, thought the exam stress had finally sent me off the rals

#highly suspicious behaviour from the dumbass website #stop gaslighting me tumblr #explain yourself #anon asks

[han-merlin]

It has come to my attention that despite being completely certain that made this post, it appears I never actually fucking did. So here we are.

Theo Hernández

He may be an actual walking damn terror, but at least he looked good doing it.

"Leao is my friend and brother. It is my duty to protect the team."

#violence capi i will follow you to the ends of the earth #theo hernandez #rafael leao #ac milan #theao

[han-merlin]

Of all the things I did not ever see coming...

Jesus Navas having a tongue piercing is definitely up there. Potentially at the top of the list, honestly. Because WHAT?

Someone find me Ramos right fucking now. "So Sergio, how do you feel? Answer quick."

#my god what in the what now #man's called Jesus but walks around like sin itself #fuck right off tiny man with your blue eyes #actually simply what the hell #jesus navas #sernavas

[han-merlin]

CAPITANO²

#uhm beautiful the fuck #idiot captains in their dramatic ass outfits #idiot captains hanging out together before committing absolute war crimes on monday #theo hernandez #davide calabria #ac milan #football fanart

[han-merlin]

Someone needs to stop me from searching up "Theo Hernandez" on Twitter. Because the posts I'm seeing there at the moment are all from Inter fans. And the things they're saying... I mean I've genuinely never seen hate directed at a player that's quite this viscerally vile????

I've seen people say All Kinds of shit, but this is actually unprecedented in my experience. Genuinely what the fuck is wrong with these people

#it's making my blood absolutely fucking boil #the things they say are actually just fucking rancid #a number of them need to be fucking institutionalised for the sorts of things they're saying #truly just disgusting #repulsive damn fanbase #inter the club is what it is but i want their fans to drink fucking poison #theo hernandez #ac milan #inter milan

[han-merlin]

i hate when i send someone a meme in another language and they're like "uhm... translate? 😒" fucker i sent you a meme where 90% of the words have an english cognate and/or you don't need to know what they're saying to find it funny. can you at least TRY

#about to ramble in the tags #said something entirely unhinged to my professor in a seminar #this course has two lecturers and they both work the seminars together #and they're both German #and one of them knows me well and the other is the professor i verbally attacked #and afterwards they were walking past where i was sat whisper-shouting in German #and they were talking about me and he was yelling about how he doesn't even know my name but i say such wild things to him #and the prof that knows me well was laughing and telling him about me #and i just fucking looked up at them like...i know we're in the uk but hooo buddy did you choose the wrong student to assume was monolingua #like can i hold a good coherent conversation with you in German? absolutely not. #but i sure as shit can understand your very obvious whispering lmaooo #and because i'm an asshat with no brain to mouth filter and no self-preservation instinct #i just looked at them and told them to gossip about me later #yeah that was an amusing first direct interaction with the guy #we get along great now and he screams at me in greeting down the corridors #so the moral of the story is 1. say absolute bullshit to your professors and #2. make sure you can understand them when they talk about you in another language