hartpayne

[hartpayne]

October 13th 1899

Dear Reader

Ah, how futile it seems to recount the descent I partake to achieve such profound knowledge. Why? Why couldn't I have been satisfied with the life before, why did I need to look deeper for a meaning that is nothing and something, to articulate the unfathomable depths of madness that now ensnare my fragile wit. Yet, compelled by a gentle flow, like a river pushing me along, I am driven to inscribe these words upon this parchment, to tell you my tale.

It began when I was a child, I could never be satisfied with what was given to me. I always yearned for something more and even went so far as to run away... deep in those woods to find it. Of course I heard all the fairy tales my grandmother would tell me, even warn me about. The unknown is never to BE known Harry- I- Forgive me, my name was not always Hart, a nickname my peers gave me because of my fascination for the human body, particularly the heart. Anyways

As the twilight whispered secrets to the shadows, I stood transfixed, my senses attuned to the enigmatic melody that beckoned me forth. The tendrils of curiosity coiled around my consciousness, pulling me deeper into the labyrinthine mysteries that lay concealed within the heart of those of my childhood woods.

"Harry, it's time to come inside," my mother's voice called out from the warm glow of our humble cottage, a beacon of safety amidst the encroaching darkness. But the allure of that temptation was too potent to resist, too tantalizing to ignore. With a whispered promise to return soon, I slipped away into the night, my bare feet tracing a path through the tangled undergrowth.

The woods seemed to come alive around me, the very air thrumming with a palpable sense of anticipation. The trees whispered secrets to one another, their gnarled branches reaching out like skeletal fingers grasping for purchase in the ethereal darkness that surrounded me.

And then, as if in response to some silent summons, a path unfurled before me, a twisted ribbon of darkness cutting through the underbrush like a serpent's trail. Long, dark tendrils pushed away the leaves, parting the foliage with an otherworldly grace that sent shivers cascading down my spine.

With a mixture of trepidation and exhilaration, I followed the path deeper into the heart of the woods, each step bringing me closer to something... , closer to the source of that sweet somber call that had stirred something primal within my soul. So... I followed- Most would have turned back by now but if I did, well then you wouldn't be looking at my letter Dear Reader.

I followed that path, time seemed to lull to a halt as I pressed on for hours and hours... and hours... and hours, there was no end to it I thought, my feet were aching with cuts digging deep within my boyish flesh from rocks and twigs scattering the ground. I was about to give up, retrace my steps and head back home where I knew a soft bed would be waiting for me but I now noticed that the moon was gone. What once lit my way was now nowhere to be seen. I panicked, now as a kid I wasn't terrified of the dark... it was, it was what could be in the dark that truly terrified me as a boy. So I ran, I ran to find any source of light to get a better understanding where I was... and then I stumbled and fell- fell right into an opening. A grove, one that held that shining moon above it and there, I found it—a glimmering pool of liquid darkness, its surface shimmering with an otherworldly light that seemed to defy the very laws of nature. I approached with a mixture of awe and dread, drawn inexorably towards the enigmatic depths that beckoned me with whispered promises of... "All that I dreamed about."

As I gazed into the abyss, I felt something stir within the depths of my being, a primal recognition of truths long forgotten, truths that whispered of a world beyond comprehension, beyond sanity itself, and that I Harry Payne... could be amongst that.

And in that moment, I knew that I had found something that would mark me forever, something that would haunt my every waking moment with its insidious presence. For in that glimmering pool of darkness, I had glimpsed the true nature of the cosmos, a reality that defied all reason, all understanding.

With a heavy heart, for a brief moment I knew that I couldn't go back... to my mother, my grandmother... or that cottage. The path I had chosen would lead me ever deeper into the maddening embrace of the unknown.

And so, with a whispered prayer upon my lips, I plunged right into that inky blackness, I let it swallow me whole and when I looked up or was... or was it into it... The moon was a crimson color and it was beating... that rhythmic da thump- da thump- da thump lulling my to sleep. I awoke the next morning, tucked away in my bed, covered in blood.

Yours in madness and despair,

Hart Payne

#eldritch horror #maddness #decent into madness #Hart Panye #horror writing #occult

[hartpayne]

October 13th 1899

My Dearest Stranger,

Forgive the trembling ink and the scattered thoughts that stain this parchment. For I fear my mind is failing me, slipping into the abyss like grains of sand through desperate fingers. They call me Hart Payne, a name that now feels like a cruel mockery of the shattered remnants of my existence... Or was it given to me by something else... the squeezing feeling in my chest never goes away. Something echos in my ears like the ringing toll of a bell. No matter.

Oh, how I wish I could convey to you the horrors that have befallen me, the unspeakable terrors that gnaw at the very fabric of my sanity. But words, mere mortal constructs, are feeble vessels incapable of containing the knowledgeable nightmare that has consumed my very soul, mind, and body.

I have glimpsed into the yawning abyss, peered into the fathomless depths of what is and isn't there, and what I beheld defies all reason, all comprehension. It was as if the universe itself convulsed in agony, birthing grotesue abominations beyond mortal ken. Shadows danced in perverse mockery, twisting and contorting into shapes that mocked the laws of what mere men such as myself know.

I strain to find the words to describe the indescribable, to paint a portrait of the ineffable horrors that now haunt my every waking moment. But how does one convey the sensation of a thousand sloshing wt tendrils coiling around the very core of one's being or the cacophony of a thousand voices whispering melodies of madness into the recesses of my shattered mind?

I am but a broken vessel adrift in this...mundane world befit of madness, clinging desperately to the fragile threads of my unraveling sanity. Each day is a struggle, a battle against the encroaching darkness that threatens to consume me whole.

Beware, dear reader, for I fear that what I have witnessed is not confined to the recesses of my fractured mind. No, it lurks just beyond the veil of perception, waiting patiently to ensnare the unwary in its... embrace.

Writing seems to help, if only a little, but even the words on this parchment mock me with the forbidding fruit of knowledge. But my dear reader, I have seen things... seen so many of that which lurks in our mortal fears, that FEEDS on our fears, our.. obsessions... our.. love?

I beg of you, heed my warning. Flee from this cursed knowledge, for to seek understanding is to court damnation itself. May whatever gods still hold sway over this forsaken world have mercy on my tormented soul.

Yours in madness and despair,

Hart Payne

#eldritch horror #eldritch #maddness #horror writing #lovecraftian #decent into madness #occult #dark fantasy #cursed knowledge #Hart Payne