hoshinoboshi

[hoshinoboshi]

7pm || hoshi x reader

Genres : fluff

Word count : 1.2k {1215 words}

warnings : established relationship, mentions of food

a/n : i seriously suck at this whole warnings thing. if i have to add any or if something is unnecessary please let me know 😭 i wrote this because i was inspired by the song and my recent walk to the beach but seriously. isn't 7pm just such a wonderful song 🥺🥺💗💖

Summary : just another date with your longtime boyfriend

written in reader's pov

it’s wednesday. my favourite day of the week. oh, I’m not crazy… yet. I know that it’s a day that most of the working population hates, well other than monday. but wednesday…

we chose this day for a reason, of course. the very same reason that everyone dislikes the day for. since it’s right in the middle of the week, unable to have hope for the weekend but also unable to loosen up because the week just started.

to not hate the day like the rest, and to have some motivation, every wednesday is our recharge day.

wednesday 7pm is the one moment I wait for every week. I get to see my tiger baby. well, I was forced into calling him tiger baby and then it kinda grew on me, but no, I will not admit that in front of him… getting back to the point, it’s 5:50pm right now, I’m stuck at my desk for 10 more minutes for me to clock out. all I have to do is check some data and mail it to seungkwan and I’m done.

y/n : baby y/n : babe y/n : babbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeee y/n : babyeyeeyeyye y/n : baaaaaaaaabeyeyey tiger baby <3 : I’m assuming ur not drunk yet and ur juz missing me y/n : bingo y/n : can’t wait to see u later tiger baby <3 : same babe tiger baby <3 : i’ll pick u up at 7 y/n : luv u tiger baby <3 : luv u too tiger baby <3 : now finish up soon and leave tiger baby <3 : need to see u at 7 sharp y/n : can’t even waste a moment without me eh? tiger baby <3 : bingo y/n : not u using my “bingo” when u say it’s weird all the time tiger baby <3 : sometimes I like to flatter u y/n : right tiger baby <3 : see u soon y/n : see u luv

okay. I’ve got this.

using 7pm as my motivation yet again, I checked the data pretty quickly and mailed it too. but the thing is, I’ve mailed it to seungkwan. and he’s definitely going to be here in 3, 2, 1—“missed me already?”

rolling my eyes in the most noticeable way, i replied coldly.

“it’s a work mail, seungkwan. get over it.”

“oh come on, we all know you love me.” he said with playfully shiny eyes and smug all over his face.

as much as he was cute, he was annoying too and he was fixated that I was in love with him, despite the fact that I made it very clear that I had a boyfriend, multiple times at that.

“in your dreams.”

“at least there then.” he winked and left.

not having enough time for seungkwan’s drama, I packed up quickly and headed home, right as it ticked 6.

getting all excited for the date, I couldn’t erase the smile off my face. seems like the obvious little smile was too obvious to go unnoticed, I could feel people staring. but who cares, I have a cute boyfriend to see at 7pm.

it’s been over 2 years since we started this tradition, a bit more than 2 years since we started dating, not to mention the painful 1 year of secretly pining over each other in the name of being friends. yet I’m always excited when it’s date day.

oh no, we don’t have any special story behind how we met though, isn’t it important how special our love is instead?

we just met at vernon’s party 4 years ago. yes, nothing special. we just randomly danced together and seemed to find each other interesting and became friends.

man, little did I know that night, that he would be the love of my life.

alright, let’s put the thoughts away for a while.

tiger baby &lt;3 : it’s 6:59 and I’m at your doorstep tiger baby <3 : open the door exactly in tiger baby <3 : 6 tiger baby <3 : 5 tiger baby <3 : 4 tiger baby <3 : 3 y/n : hi love tiger baby <3 : 2 y/n : oh tiger baby <3 : I see you luv y/n : I see you too luv

standing there, my boyfriend, my love, kwon soonyoung, handed me flowers. now that’s a surprise. he rarely buys me flowers. but these are so pretty! I love it!!

“right on time love.” he smiled brightly.

I received the flowers and returned his bright smile. “baby, thank you, I love them.”

knowing what more he needed than those words, I pulled him into a hug and gave him a small kiss on his ear.

we left for our date.

it’s usually not very grand. we just walk along the long road that leads to the beach since my house is pretty close to it.

strolling through, we also have a lot of snacks while we’re headed towards the beach and light dinner on our way back.

there’s nothing much to it but doing this, even if it’s repeated and could be boring if done alone or with someone else, since it’s with him, it feels like a new experience every time. even if it’s once every month, and it’s like the 19th time we’re doing this together, still feels new.

“so, how was your day?” he asked.

I started ranting about my whole day and then it was my turn to listen to him rant. and once we were done with that, we had some light talks about random topics or about our friends or our future while eating those snacks.

but once we reach the beach, we switch our silent modes on.

literally, on our phones yes, but also our mouths. we don’t talk there for half an hour, it’s just us, laying down on the sand, listening to our beach playlist and the waves, and looking at the sky.

we’ve done this so many times but I don’t think I’ve asked him what he thinks about during that half an hour. I spend the whole 30 minutes thinking about how pretty he is and how much I love him and how grateful I am to have this wonderful person in my life, as the love of my life.

by the end of the 30 minutes, we both get sleepy so we leave for dinner.

then we go on a long walk to ease the digestion.

once back at home, we get ready to sleep.

we can’t afford to stay up late when we’re both working adults. having an evening off every week is fairytale-like enough for our economy.

snuggling into the sheets he wrapped his arms around me, “good night love.” he whispered in my ear and hugged me tighter.

“it would be a goodnight if I could breathe babe.” I joked, making him loosen his grip a bit.

it wasn’t even a few minutes after that I already find him asleep.

the way his eyes were closed and his hair had fallen towards his sides as he laid down next to me, the way his breath was also a nice sound for me, oh how hopelessly in love I was with him. I smiled and whispered into his ears,

“good night tiger baby.”

[hoshinoboshi]

you can hate on ready to love but not on seungkwan's adlib at the ending of the song thank u

[hoshinoboshi]

Not parasocial love nor parasocial hate but a secret third thing where I respect the celebrity for their talents and achievements while acknowledging that I do not have a personal relationship with them and that they are a human with flaws

[hoshinoboshi]

i still love you but || changlix

Pairing : changbin x felix

Genres : angst

Word count : 0.9k {966 words}

warnings : broken-up(?)

a/n : i'm suddenly into angst? blame my playlist~

Summary : it was over, there was no way things were gonna be the same as it was... but felix couldn't help but write to changbin

Unlocking his door, Changbin entered his home, tiredly, with wet hair and clothes, a bag and a few papers which seemed to be his mail. A full working day with a busy schedule, one must be relieved to get back home, but not Changbin. It rained when he was almost home so it’s not like he can just lay down and rest with wet hair.

He put the mails on the table and the bag at its spot and went to take a warm shower.

Drying his hair, he went up to the kitchen to make some warm lavender tea to drink while he read.

Once he was done with reading and the tea, he finally extended his bulky arm and reached for his mail. There were, of course, unwanted mails too, but the second one seemed to be from someone unexpected, someone special, yet not, for the expression on Changbin's face was mixed. He seemed shocked, yet melancholic. Relieved, yet tensed. Comforted, yet scared.

Almost chickening out, Changbin put away the mail. But he's Changbin. He could never sleep after having an unsolved problem. He got the mail back and opened it, it was sent by his ex. Straightening his posture, stiffening his facial expressions, he read it.

I know I’m not supposed to be writing to you after what happened… but I couldn’t help it. I hope you read this till the end though. I don’t know where to start… should I start from the first time we met? From when we actually became acquaintances? When we became friends? That time when we discovered that just like some cheesy k-drama, we also have a destiny like story? Or from our painful break up? I seriously don’t know what I am supposed to do now that I have lost the most important person to me. I still love you and I know that you know that, but I just wanted to let you know once again. What is love? I used to ask myself. You gave me an answer. Thanks to you I understood what love was and I was finally able to give some of that to myself too. You embraced me and accepted me for who I am. You loved me despite me being that fragile kid who just wore a smile and acted unaffected. You helped me turn over a new leaf. If I am in this chapter of my book today, it’s all because of you filling out the previous chapters. I really love you for being such an important person in my life. I still love you and I don’t want to let go already… but I guess that’s it for us? Ever since you got your new job it’s been hard on both of us… slowly we became distant. After a point, you didn’t have the time and energy for me. I don’t blame you because you finally got to do the work that you have dreamt of doing all your life. All your efforts had finally paid off. I didn’t want to be that boyfriend who held his boyfriend back, and stop him from living the life he had looked forward to for all his life. I know I must have made many mistakes too and I apologise, love. I know things can’t go back to the way it was before. But just keep in mind that I’m only a couple streets away and that I’m always up for a drink. I still love you and I want to be there for you whenever you need a shoulder to lean on, whenever you need an embrace to hug you. We started off cute and were so lovey-dovey and then the hurdles started showing themselves, we were able to get through quite a few but then came the worst. We weren’t able to cross the ocean of monsters. But that’s alright, right Binnie? We did our best and we’ll always remember us. I still love you but unfortunately, although we have such a romantic destiny-like set up, we failed to stay together. I guess we are that one out of thousand k-dramas that have a sad ending. It’s alright I keep saying, but am I alright? No, not at all. You not being by my side makes me feel so empty. It feels like I’m all alone in this world. I feel like I can never be loved. I feel like my eyes have been plucked out for I can no longer see the beauty of life. I feel like I have lost my goal, I have lost my life. I have lost the love of my life. All I wanted to do for you is stay by your side and listen to you ramble on about your day and then cuddle with you to sleep. If that’s a lot to ask for, then I’m sorry for being greedy. All that I have left to say is that, I hope things don’t get awkward. I understand if you want to take a break from seeing me, like not that it’s necessary since we barely saw each other even when we were in a relationship, I understand. I’ll not bother you from now on. You can contact me when you’re ready to see me, when you need me, whatever it is. I will wait for you to talk to me, I won’t bother you until then. If you read so far, which I am kinda sure you did because I know you, thank you for reading. - yours and yours only, felix <3

Changbin broke into tears and all that he was able to say through the guilt holding his tongue back was, "I love you too, felix. All my fault… my fault, I’m sorry…I miss you… I still love you but…"

[hoshinoboshi]

going below zero | l.dh

genre ❄ coworker au, enemies to lovers, slowburn, fluff, angst pairings ❄ attorney!donghyuck x attorney!reader word count ❄  10.2k synopsis ❄ Considering how much Haechan makes it his personal mission to antagonize you at work, it seems like a rather cruel twist of fate that the both of you have been side by side since middle school, the only consolation being that his office is a different floor from yours. But if there’s a saying about how distance makes the heart grow fonder, your attitude with him might just be the opposite, and it’ll take a family ski holiday to find out. warnings ❄ mentions of alcohol info ❄ merry christmas everyone!!! i hope you enjoy this small present and hava a very warm holiday wherever you are  <3 (it’s currently below freezing in seoul and I’m typing this barely half-alive in my hotel room at 1.50am after returning from gocheok sky dome)

You enjoy your job. Mostly.

Besides the long hours, gruelling paperwork, inefficient district judiciary, and shitty coffee, of course. It’s all bearable, especially if you think about the multiple zero digits in your annual salary and the occasional bonus. And of course, you’ve developed a certain fondness for your office, which gives you a lovely view of the palaces and Seoul’s skyline.

“Y/N. Your coffee.” Karina passes you one of two mugs, specifically the one with daisies on it. Everyone working on your floor has made a deliberate effort to get distinct coffee mugs out of disdain for sharing, and you’re all the more grateful for it, especially on days like this. You take a tentative sip, and barely prevent yourself from spitting it out.

Maybe the burnt espresso will be the tipping point for your resignation after all.

“I still can’t believe the tenth floor shares their cups communally. Renjun would flay us if we tried suggesting it,” Karina mutters. She’s dressed in a form-fitting suit today, blouse slightly untucked. It’s been two years since she joined as a paralegal, and you’ll miss having her careful eye to look over your documents. Still, if there’s anyone deserving of becoming an associate, it’s her.

“It’s what happens when you have a floor that’s ninety-per cent men. Especially with people like him.” Your voice narrows to a sharp point, and Karina already knows who you’re talking about.

“I still don’t know what’s up with the both of you,” she muses, and you shrug. “It’s a long story. One that I’ll tell if I’m drunk and tired. Unfortunately, it’s currently-” you steal a glance at your watch, “-nine-thirty on a Monday morning, so wrong time.”

She gives a nod of acceptance, grimacing at the harrowed expression on your face. “Well, if you need anything, I’ll be outside.”

“Wait. Karina,” you call out, and the girl halts, arching an eyebrow at you. “Where’s the case that we were working on last week? The medical negligence one.”

There’s a nervous expression on her face when she takes in your words, and you don’t have a good feeling about what she’s going to say next.

“Karina. What is it.”

She smiles sheepishly, and that’s when you really start getting scared.

“Haechan…said he could take over because you were busy with your current ones and Mr Kim agreed. It happened when you were on leave last Friday. I thought he emailed you.”

“You have got to be fucking kidding me.”

Karina tries to flash a smile, but it comes out more like a pained cringe as she watches you close your eyes, and then take a deep inhale. You’re deathly quiet, and it’s slightly terrifying. “I’ll be back,” you force out, and she turns, alarmed, as you stride out of the office.

“Where are you going?”

You don’t answer.

Haechan gives it approximately five minutes before you reach his office. It takes three minutes for you to take the lift up, and it’s about twenty metres from the lobby to his personal office.

If you’re particularly enraged, however, your pace might be a little faster, so he accounts for that too.

Keep reading

[hoshinoboshi]

2.1.2023

it's scara's bday in few hours and i really REALLY wanna write smth for my luvs <3 even if it's just a brain rot aaaaaaaaaaaaaa but for some reason im getting 0 ideas. im blaming this on my uni

*haha* time to recall my wild dreams and create a story from it (again.)

#scaranation #genshin brainrot #happy wanderer day

[hoshinoboshi]

i was listening to scara’s voicelines then i saw this and thought ‘who the fuck is baby?’ then i remembered i named him baby 😭

[hoshinoboshi]

so true

[hoshinoboshi]

gonna block y'all rip

why tf are these accounts following me

[hoshinoboshi]

PLEASE DON'T FOLLOW ME IF YOUR BLOG IS NOT RELATED TO MINE IN A N Y WAY. IM NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR DISCOUNTS FOR LINGERE. im uncomfortable

why tf are these accounts following me

[hoshinoboshi]

why tf are these accounts following me

[hoshinoboshi]

women in STEM (sleepy, tired, exhausted, mundane)

[hoshinoboshi]

WAIT HE ACTUALLY CAME HOME

reblog and make a wish! this was removed from tumbrl due to “violating one or more of Tumblr’s Community Guidelines”, but since my wish came true the first time, I’m putting it back. :)

[hoshinoboshi]

NO BCZ THIS MAKES MY HEART SO WARMMM I CAN FEEL IT i love diluc and your writing is just nemdmckfkkckckv

Diluc and Dendro MC where visions are physiologically reactive—

Imagine the beginning: you introduce yourself, extending an arm to shake and he grabs it only for you to flinch away at the scorching heat.

You look at your palm as the skin withers away like scorched leaves before it heals as quickly as it was burned.

"My apologies, I didn't realize you wielded dendro." Diluc says, rushed, feeling guilty.

"A-ah it's alright! I should've been more careful. I didn't know the bartender was pyro." You reassure, waving it off.

Despite the obvious incompatibility, your friendship blossomed and you find your heart skipping beats around the pyro user (you double checked, there were no electro allogenes causing it!)

You're playing with fire. Quite literally— with the way you would lean over the counter, trying to get close, attracted to the warmth you know he radiates.

He would walk you home some nights, both your hands swinging in between, so so close to touching but you don't. It would scorch you and Diluc is all too aware of that, so he pulls back from swinging, hides his hand in his pockets.

Then the fire resistant gloves arrived, made with only the best quality to 100% ensure that even a petal could survive in his palm.

He tells you this casually—

"Ah, I've had gloves made. They're customed to make it easier to deal with the dendro or cryo customers."

He doesn't say that it's because he wants to hold your hand, or cup the soft of your cheek. Instead, he throws the bait, waiting for you to get an experimental idea and—

"That's amazing, Master Diluc! Would you care to test it with me?"

—caught.

He extends his hand over the counter, watching you as you place your own over his palm. He's as warm as you expected, even with the glove on there's nothing quite like his pyro reacting to your dendro.

You grip his palm into a handshake, this was only the beginning.

bonus : diluc getting a pyro resistant coat and throwing it over u, turning u into a blanket monster, then he just hugs u. big glomp. just full of longing.

[hoshinoboshi]

HEEEEEELP- 12 NOTES????

[hoshinoboshi]

just a brainrot?

albedo x gn!reader - where the reader has disease/curse/whatever which changes the color of the air they exhale (not through nose lmao) (yk) (when youre in a cold place and you can see your breathe from yo mouth) depending on their emotion (i hope this isnt weird-)

when albedo is going around to get some materials for his upcoming experiments, he finds you beside an old ruin, hoping to get enough warmth by the weak fire before you.

concerned and curious, he approaches you, only to find some faded black air escaping your shivering mouth, and dissolve into the atmosphere like nothing. what was that?

it only takes a moment for him to introduce himself, and to gain a little bit of your trust before he helps you get up. you whisper your name while sitting inside his alchemy lab, and he notices the black has faded a little.

albedo's a bit surprised to see a light yellow color escape your lips few days later but decides not to ask you about it. he's an alchemist. he'll find out by himself.

weeks pass by and he has already seen a variety of colors of air from you. it takes him too long to realise that they represent the emotions you try to bury deep inside yourself. he's glad he didn't pry you about it when he met you.

a while later, he starts enjoying how your unusual power gives him small hints. like when his assistant sucrose comes over to take down the readings but gets little too friendly, his gaze falls on the green air that you try to fan away.

he pretends to be asleep with his head on your lap, while your fingers run through his blond locks and pink air escaping your mouth as you space out.

albedo takes you to meet his master- the one who created him- months later and upon meeting her, you are unfazed about the crimson red air you exhale. he wonders why is that

#genshin #albedo #genshin x reader #albedo x gn reader #look i dont know whats this #im sick and this randomly came into my head #genshin impact #brainrot

[hoshinoboshi]

everything and more; chapter 1 / choi seungcheol

➝ Seungcheol x single mom!Reader (feat. original characters, Jisoo, Jinyoung, Jeonghan, etc.)

➝ best friends to lovers // single mom!Reader // slowburn // fluff // angst // slice of life-ish

➝ wc: 5.2~k

➝ chapter warning: character death (its literally the plot sjhdfhsjbf), curses, cliche probably lol, not entirely proofread, nothing more that i can think of

➝ everything and more masterlist

[✾✾✾]

You used to say you wanted at least three children growing up.

But then your sister gave birth to one beautiful son, a nephew you love with everything your heart can offer and more, and, after seeing the hardship she went through, you decided motherhood isn't for you. You had never thought motherhood was easy, but seeing someone so close to you going through it was another experience altogether.

The thought of being the aunt that spoils their nephew to no end definitely seems like the better choice. Given, your sister's journey is probably harder than most because the father isn't in the picture and God knows how cruel the world can be to single mothers, especially those out of wedlock.

Still, you had lived with her for the first three months after she gave birth to help her around, and you’re 99% sure (the 1% you keep around just in case your words will bite you back in the ass) you would never be able to care for a child 24/7. Even babysitting during the day was hard, but she had to care for Seungyoon during day and night and you don’t even dare to imagine the amount of patience it took her to do that.

“Seungyoon is… how old now?” Jisoo asks as she bounces your nephew on her lap. You’re on babysitting duty today, as Yuri has a business trip to Suwon and you’ve convinced her to let you babysit Seungyoon. That sister of yours can be too hard headed for her own good when it comes to her son, which you understand to a certain point, but you don’t see why she should bring her toddler son to a business trip when you don’t even have work today and you’re her sister for a reason.

It’s always been you two; three now, with Seungyoon. You don’t have any other family and it’s okay as long as you have each other. You’ve found a lot of family along the way in other people: like Jisoo, your best friend since high school, and Seungcheol, another best friend of yours from university. Not to forget Jinyoung, Yuri’s only and closest friend who’s basically your big brother. You’re happy with this family and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

"He's three next month." You grin as your nephew giggles uncontrollably on Jisoo's lap, the way Seungcheol is poking his belly making his giggle louder by the seconds.

"Already?" Seungcheol exclaims, his mouth turning into a small 'o'. "Wow. Felt like it was just yesterday we visited Yuri after her labor."

"Right?" Jisoo sighs as she hugs the kid closer to her. She has always had a soft spot for him, to the point where she was probably more excited about Seungyoon's birth than you were almost three years ago. "Now this brat can already talk back if we try to make him eat his carrot."

Seungyoon scrunches in distaste at the mention of the vegetable, frowning at Jisoo like she has personally offended him. "Auntie. No carrot."

"Why do you not like carrots though?" Seungcheol intercepts, indulging him.

"Yuck." His frown deepens, followed by a yawn that makes its way out of his small lips. 

"They're good for your eyes, you know." You poke his cheek to gain his attention and, just like that, the little kid turns to you and extends his arms so you'd take him to your lap instead. It's something he often does when his mom isn't around; seeks for your warmth when he's sleepy or uncomfortable. Because you're you and you're always there together with his mom that his mind already registers you as another safe place for him. It's something that Yuri has taught him too, to find you or Uncle Jinyoung if she's not there.

"Sleepy?" You take him into your arms and whisper with a soft kiss on top of his head, the way you endlessly caress his hair lulling him to sleep. "We'll go home in a bit, okay?"

Seungyoon doesn't answer, simply buries his face in your chest as sleep overcomes him bit by bit.

Almost an hour goes by just like that, with the three of you quietly continuing the discussion in the cafe, talking about work and whatnot as your fingers absentmindedly comb through Seungyoon's hair even if he's already asleep at this point.

"Hey, didn't you go on a date or something last week?"

Seungcheol looks at you, nods, then shrugs, not giving any details until Jisoo prods, prods, and prods. You're thankful she does it for you, because you're actually also curious but don't really have the heart to force it out of him.

Seungcheol is a romantic. Has always been particular with the girls he wants to date. If he's not interested, then he wouldn't spare them a glance. If he's only remotely interested, he'd still be skeptical and find a hundred reasons not to agree on a date. There's just something bothersome about going out with someone he doesn't know without anyone else present.

You and Jisoo have been encouraging him to go on dates though, if only because it's been too long and you recognize the longing in his eyes everytime he sees his friends with their partners. He claims he's not currently looking for a relationship, but it's also been quite some time since he even goes out with anyone other than you two, and that's why you've been telling him to be more open at least for the first meetings. If he doesn't want to continue from then, then it's up to him. But how would he find someone–anyone if he doesn't even want to go on the first date?

"It was okay… but, nothing special. She's nice and we have some common interests but…" His gaze falls on Seungyoon on your lap, then caresses his head as if seeking some sort of comfort from the little boy. "Not interested in a second date."

Jisoo is about to argue, probably meaning to convince him to tell more, but her phone rings and she immediately picks up when she sees her fiance's name. Jeonghan rarely calls when she's out with you both, that's a rule they've decided together: to respect the time they spend with their friends. So she knows it must be important if he calls her instead of leaving a text.

You see her panic the longer the call goes, hand already busy packing up her stuff as you barely hear Jeonghan's faint voice calmly speak through the phone. 

"Jeonghan’s sister got into an accident." Jisoo relays the information once he hangs up, voice shaking, and worry floods over you despite not knowing the girl personally. "I… I need to go. She's being taken to the hospital now."

"Want me to drive you?" Seungcheol offers, but Jisoo shakes her head and says she's going home first, that she'll go with Jeonghan because the accident isn't in Seoul and, even if he didn't mention it, she knows he needs her with him.

"Update us?" You try to be calm for her, your palm caresses her arm in comfort.

"I will." She bites her lip in worry, looking at the map on her phone that indicates the location of the taxi she's just ordered. "She's… she's on a trip with her friend and she's supposed to come home today. But there's an accident on Seocho and it's quite a big one because a loading truck caused it."

You blink at the location, the transition between your heart dropping then speeding up as the worst case scenario goes through your mind is a matter of seconds. Yuri would need to go through Seocho too on her way back from Suwon. 

It's only 3PM now. If she's on a business trip, surely she would go home later in the evening, right? Fuck, your phone is in your bag and you can’t take it without waking your nephew. You just had to put it on ‘do not disturb’ too, though you’ve made sure to let it ring if a call goes through.

Your tendency to spiral into worst case scenarios makes it hard to convince yourself everything’s fine because it hasn’t rung. You’re dying to just call Yuri and listen to her calling you dumb for worrying; because she’s okay and she’ll be home in a few hours. That you need to calm down because she promises she’s okay.

Jisoo doesn’t seem to notice the shift in your mood due to her own stress, but Seungcheol does and he doesn’t address it until Jisoo bids you two goodbye along with a soft kiss on Seungyoon’s head. He shifts closer to you, his palm reaching your shoulder before he asks if you’re okay.

“Can you get my phone, please?” You say instead, the tremble in your voice worries him. He goes through your bag like you ask him to, then hands you the device as he notices the way your arm tightens around Seungyoon.

You’re so tense that he almost reminds you to breathe, he sees you scroll but it seems like you find nothing by the way you’re biting your lip. Then he sees you type, another sigh escapes your lips as you anxiously stare at your screen. Before he can ask if something’s wrong, you bring your phone to your ear, an endless ring greeting your ear because whoever you’re calling isn’t picking up.

“Okay, talk to me.” Seungcheol finally says, his voice soft but firm. The way you’re looking at him isn’t helping at all, and he sees you gripping your phone like it has personally wronged you. “What’s wrong?”

“Yuri is in Suwon.”

“Okay?”

“She–she’d need to go through Seocho to go back to Seoul, right?” He nods, finally grasping your worry. “She’s not replying to my texts nor my calls and I’m–I don’t know, I’m freaking out.”

He doesn’t want to brush off your worries, because he knows how much Yuri means to you and he understands how your train of thoughts might’ve gone in the short span of time between Jisoo’s news and your current condition. But he’s not sure how to calm you down without sounding like he’s downplaying your worries; so he takes the one route that he knows would at least remind you that you need to get it together.

“Hey. Breathe, okay? You’ll wake Seungyoon up.” He whispers like it’s a secret, and you take a long, deep breath as you nod. Seungcheol has always had that effect on you; to make you calm down and be your pillar when you need someone to be. Jisoo is a little blunt and harsh at times, another type of friend you’re glad you have in life because you definitely need someone like her to knock senses into your head. But that means you don’t always go to her when you’re looking for comfort and validation. That role is Seungcheol’s and, while he can be strict at times, he’s better at sympathizing with your feelings (or everyone else’s, really) than anyone. “Maybe Yuri’s in a meeting and she’s not with her phone?”

He’s probably right, but the feeling inside your gut is starting to root deeper and deeper within you the more time passes by, it’s ugly and it’s unpleasant. Like you can feel something is going entirely wrong though you can’t tell if you’re making things up or not at this point. You try to find comfort in Seungyoon’s sleeping form, his cheek pressed against your shoulder and his arms limp on his sides. 

It works along with the deep breath Seungcheol reminds you once again to take, and when your phone does ring thirty minutes later, it’s Seungcheol who takes it because Seungyoon squirms in your arms at the sudden noise.

It’s an unknown number, but the way his jaw tenses at whatever he’s hearing is making your heart twist with worry. You can’t even try to understand what they’re saying, because Seungcheol doesn’t say anything but ‘yes’, but it must be important if he’s still listening, and the last thing you heard before he hangs up is not a sentence you wish to hear in midst of your worry. We’ll be there as soon as possible. Thank you for informing us.

The way he looks at you makes your throat tightens, you can probably feel dread at the tip of your tongue. You hold Seungyoon tighter for the sake of your sanity, the toddler has fallen back to sleep. When Seungcheol speaks, your eyes blur with tears and you hate the way you already know what he’s saying before he even finishes his sentence.

The one time you wish you were wrong, you just have to be right.

“Yuri’s in the hospital. She’s in the ICU and we need to get there immediately.”

You’re trying your best not to bawl on your way there, thankful for Seungcheol as he drives as fast as he’s allowed to, Seungyoon no longer asleep but cluelessly plays with your hair as he obediently stays on your lap. It’s like he knows you’re not okay, knows not to throw a tantrum and not to ask to sit by himself at the back like he usually would. 

Like he knows you need him with you to keep you sane.

Seungcheol looks calm, but the way his palm grips yours obviously indicates otherwise and you try to distract yourself from all the worst possibilities in your mind by thinking of how lucky you are to have him with you of all people. You know he’s worried out of his mind too, but he still takes your hand because he knows you need it, knows that it helps to keep you grounded even if you have your nephew on your lap.

It doesn’t last for long though, and you don’t know what to think of Seungcheol’s lack of explanation. Yes, he confirmed that Yuri is also involved in the same accident as Jeonghan’s sister, but he didn’t say anything else. But does he really need to when he’s already said Yuri is in the ICU? If she had been okay, she would be in the ER at most; but they felt the need to take her to the ICU and that must be saying something.

Did the speaker not say anything to him? Or does he simply not want to give you empty hopes?

“Hey.” His voice brings you out of your trance and you squeeze his hand out of reflex. “I’ll be here, okay?”

You tear up again and nod, your arm that’s around your nephew tightens.

Seungyoon shifts at this, buries himself in your neck and wraps his arms around your neck like he knows you need it more than you do.

[✾✾✾]

Jinyoung is already there when you arrive, and he hugs you tight like he’s preparing you for bad news, like he needs to calm you down because whatever follows after isn’t going to be pleasant.

Seungyoon is in Seungcheol’s arms, breaking the older man’s heart by asking why they’re in the doctor’s place over and over again. Seungcheol assures him he’s not going to get shot when the toddler almost cries saying he doesn’t want to see the doctor today, promises to buy him ice cream later on if he doesn’t cry and stays in his arms.

“Is… is it bad?” You manage to choke between your tears. Jinyoung is rarely unkept, but he’s disheveled and if he’s like this then you don’t know if you want to hear what he has to say. You’re sure the doctor has filled him in on something, Jinyoung is registered as both your and Yuri’s emergency contact and if he’s here before you do, they must have told him something.

He takes a few moments to compose himself and arranges his words, his hands holding yours like it’s his lifeline.

“They aren’t sure she’s going to make it.”

More tears spill out of your eyes, though you try to contain your sob because Seungyoon is right behind you with Seungcheol, though when Jinyoung gives your friend a look, he’s quick to take Seungyoon somewhere out of sight so you can finally cry, cry, and cry until your tears dry out.

Yuri might not make it. You swallow the words like needles between your throat, your lips trembling as you stubbornly try to contain your despair. But when Jinyoung pulls you once again into his chest and whispers words of comfort you wish you could tell Yuri who’s by herself in the operating room, the dam breaks and you grip the front of his shirt like it’s the only thing you know how to do.

You don’t want to think of the worst case scenario. Don’t want to think of a life without your sister. But how can you not when you’ve been there in front of the OR for two hours? How can you not when your consciousness is going in and out of your head and the only thing that reminds you you’re awake is Seungcheol’s soft breath and the steady pattern of his heartbeat?

“Drink something?” He asks, his voice hesitant. You haven’t talked at all since Jinyoung told you Yuri might not make it, and you’re thankful Seungcheol doesn’t force you to either when he comes back with your nephew in tow. Jinyoung fills him in quickly between whispers before taking the kid with him and Seungcheol doesn’t waste a second to hold you because you look like you’re seconds away from fainting.

You shake your head even though your throat is dry and you honestly feel like you’re about to pass out any moment now. The only thing that’s keeping you here right now is Seungcheol: he’s basically plastered to you and he refuses to let go of you since earlier, which you appreciate so much because you don’t know if you even have it in you to sit straight without him by your side. You’ve just been spacing out in his embrace for two hours straight, his arm around you and your forehead on the juncture of his neck.

“Mommy?” Seungyoon’s voice brings you out of your trace, and you find him with Jinyoung, though the boy immediately lets go of his hand once he sees the state you’re in. Seungyoon only calls you that when he thinks you’re sad, a nickname that Yuri has always encouraged him for because even if he doesn’t have a father, she makes sure to let him know that he has two mothers who would do everything for him and you’re one of them.

He calls Yuri Mama, and he usually calls you ‘Mi’ because it’s easier than ‘Mommy’. He very rarely calls you by the latter because no one refers to you as such and he’s not used to it most of the time. But he knows you usually smile when he does it, which is why he only calls you that way when he thinks you’re upset. 

“Mommy okay?” He climbs into your lap, making your eyes water once again. God, this precious child might lose his own mother and he doesn’t know. He doesn’t know a thing and you pray once again to every deity in existence that you wouldn’t need to tell Seungyoon he wouldn’t be able to see his mom again.

He frowns when you don’t giggle like you usually would, though you do force a smile as you pull him into a hug.

“I’m sorry I left you with Uncle Jinyoung.” You say instead, not wanting to lie to the kid when you’re obviously not okay. “He’s boring, isn’t he?”

His small giggle warms you a little, but then he shakes his head and tells you Uncle Jinyoung is fun today and he buys him food earlier. You hum as he continues to blabber, mouthing a ‘thank you’ to Jinyoung when he catches your eyes.

“Yoon, will you tell Mi to drink water?” Seungcheol hands the bottle to your nephew, knowing full well you can’t resist him. You pretend to glare at him, aware that Seungcheol knows how grateful you are with him by your side. Seungcheol has just texted Jisoo that you’re both in the hospital for Yuri, and she promises she’ll drop by as soon as possible after informing him that thankfully Jeonghan’s sister is okay even though she has a minor concussion.

“Mi, water.” He repeats after the older man, his hands can barely hold the water bottle straight.

You thank him as you take a gulp, only now realizing how thirsty you actually are. Seungyoon shifts to play with your hair, still blissfully unaware why you’re all in the hospital, though he’s just happy in his bubble to be surrounded by you and his uncles.

For a second, you let a little bit of hope pass through you. You hope it can stay peaceful like this, with Seungyoon in your arms as you pretend you’re waiting for Yuri to come home.

Yeah, you’re waiting for her to come out, aren’t you?

Right–you’re so going to give her hell for all the worry and tears she made you shed. For making you lose it in front of Seungyoon and making you cry in front of Jinyoung, of all people. Yuri is in for a lot of nagging once she wakes up. Sick or not, you’re still going to scream at her and you’re going to hug her tight because it doesn’t make sense how deep the dread she makes you feel right now.

Yeah, that’s what you’re going to do.

She’s going to make it. She might not wake up immediately after the surgery, but you’re going to do all that when she wakes up and–

Min Yuri’s family?

And you’re going to lock her in a headlock like you usually would when she’s being annoying–

We’re sorry…

And you’re going to bawl into her chest like you used to when you were six–

…tried out best… 

And she’s going to laugh at you because she never knows what to do when you cry–

…too weak and…

But she’ll still hug you back because that’s what sisters are for–

…we’re sorry.

Because you only have each other.

Only have each other.

Had each other.

Your eyes get more and more blurry by the seconds, everything came crashing all over your body from head to toe, it’s getting harder to breathe, someone is holding you and—

You don’t know what happened after.

[✾✾✾]

On your eighteenth birthday, Yuri gave you a silver band and said you’re not allowed to take it off unless someone she approved of proposed. That you’re only allowed to take it off on your wedding day where she’d definitely be your maid of honor because who else would?

It’s a promise that I’ll be with you until I’m sure someone else will take care of you as well as I do.

You have never taken off your ring since then, never had any intention to, either. But now that you stare at it as you pack her belongings in her place, you want nothing but to rip it off your finger like it burns.

Didn’t she promise to be with you until then?

Didn’t she promise to make sure that whoever’s going to marry you is worthy of taking her ring off for?

Didn’t she fucking promise you she wouldn’t leave you behind like your parents did?

“Hey. Maybe it’s time to rest?” You look up at Seungcheol who’s hovering on the door. He looks only a little better than you are, but who can blame him when he hasn’t gone home at all since that day in the hospital? He’s been with you since then; Jisoo and Jinyoung take turns going back and forth, even Jeonghan stays for a bit when he has the time. 

Seungcheol was with you when you spent that night in the hospital, when you cried next to Yuri’s body before they closed the coffin, when you went home with Seungyoon to your place because you couldn’t bear to go to Yuri’s place just yet, and now, when you finally gathered the courage to go to her place and pack her stuff because who else will?

“Don’t you have work?” You ask instead, feeling bad that he’s been with you basically 24/7 the past week.

“You know my work allows me to work from anywhere.” He smiles a little before taking the seat next to you on the floor. “Let’s get lunch? Seungyoon says he wants jjajangmyeon.”

Seungyoon. Your poor child. You don’t think he really understands what’s happening. Jinyoung had kindly taken over your role to relay the information to the kid, but he had simply asked if his mom was going somewhere when Jinyoung said he wouldn’t be able to see her anymore.

You’re sure he would’ve cried seeing you bawl if not for Seungcheol quickly pulling you with him and holding you in his arms as you tried your best to block your sob, barely making out the conversation between the two.

Mama is in heaven now.

“Is it nice?”

Hmm. The best. But you won’t be able to see her anymore.

“Even if I miss her?”

Yes. It’s too far and if she has to come here, she’ll get very tired and might even get sick. We don’t want that, right?

“But what if I want see Mama?”

Then you’ll have to wait until the sky turns dark and the stars are visible. Mama is one of the stars now. Is that okay?

“But… there are so many…”

Seungyoon is smart, though. Aren’t you?

“Hmm..”

Then I’m sure you’ll know which one is Mama?

“Mmm… Want Mommy… Where’s Mommy?”

“Mommy?” Seungyoon has been calling you that often now. You’re not sure if he’s simply too confused or if it’s because you’ve been looking too upset these days, but his small voice always makes your heart clenches in the most painful way possible because it sounds like he knows he can’t call his own mom anymore. It’s getting harder and harder to hear him call you anything of the sort because it reminds you that his Mama is no longer around. “Hungry.”

Jisoo looks at you in apology from the door. She’s been with Seungyoon earlier, telling him they have to pack his toys because he’ll be moving with you and no longer live there. The boy has been more quiet these days, and you feel bad because you think he’s quiet because he’s tired and he doesn’t know what’s happening; why you barely talk and why his mom is not here.

“Uncle Cheol said you want jjajangmyeon?” You say as you take him in your arms, the boy suddenly shy as he nods and buries himself in your neck. “Do you want to eat outside or here?”

“Out okay?” he asks, almost hesitant. Then continues to make your heart hurt when he says his next words. “Mommy always inside these days…”

“Oh, baby.” You bite your lip and murmur an apology against his forehead. The way you hug him is more for you then it is for Seungyoon, but he tightens his arms around you also and asks once again if it’s okay to eat outside. “We can. Let’s go with Uncle Cheol and Auntie Choo, yeah?”

Seungcheol opts to go to the jjajangmyeon place you used to go to during university instead of the one nearby. It takes almost an hour to get there, but he thinks you need it and he’s sure the owner of the jjajangmyeon place near Yuri’s apartment would definitely be asking about her–which you definitely don’t need.

It’s been quite some time since Seungyoon went anywhere too, so he figures he could at least give that to the kid.

“Been some time since we went here, huh?” It really has. The last time was probably a year ago or something, because life gets in the way and even though you’ve been saying you wanted to come here again, the both of you are always too lazy and the university seems too far away even if it’s not really.

Still, the owner recognizes you two and happily takes your order which hasn't changed since the time you were in university.

Apparently, the old lady hasn’t changed either, because her eyes sparkle with interest as she sees Seungyoon in your arms. You dread her question already, knowing what she’d ask before she even does.

But as much as you expected her words, nothing prepared you for her whole sentences.

“Oh my. Is this your kid? He looks so much like you. I knew you two would get married one day.” She says as she addresses you and Seungcheol, way too excited to notice the horrified look you share with your best friend, nor Jisoo who’s trying her best not to laugh at the sudden turn of events.

You don’t even get the chance to deny her statement, because she already turns back to the kitchen then returns just as quick, giving Seungyoon a pack of jelly that’s supposedly her grandson’s.

“What a nice kid.” She smiles at Seungyoon who thanks her with a cheeky smile, the boy clutches the jelly like you’d take it any moment now. “My grandson used to cry all the time at his age. What a nice mom you have, hmm? She’s brought you up really well.”

“Mommy the best.” Seungyoon replies cheekily, which concludes the conversation because that seems to be enough for the owner to leave your table.

Once again, you’re thankful Seungcheol is beside you as you exhale a deep breath and try to swallow your tears on his shoulder. This is just a taste of what you’d need to deal with more in the future; people mistaking you as Seungyoon’s mom and you’ll somehow get the credit for everything Yuri did to make sure Seungyoon grew up well.

It’s not fair.

Nothing is and you hate that there’s nothing you can do about it.

“Mommy?” Seungyoon tugs softly on your hair to catch your attention. “Feed me?”

You tear up again at this, because Seungyoon has actually been insisting on eating by himself the past few months, saying he’s a big boy and that he can manage eating by himself. Does he know? That you need him to depend on you? That you need something to distract you?

“Want Mommy to feed me.” He repeats, his voice faltering at your lack of response. How long have you been neglecting him? How selfish can you be, drowning in your own sorrow like Seungyoon hasn’t lost his own mother? He’s probably even more lost than you are, with Yuri gone and you disassociating for a whole week.

You’re lucky Seungyoon has always been a nice kid, that he simply accepts that his aunt and uncles were to take care of him for the week. 

How fucking selfish can you be? 

“Yeah.” You square your shoulder and drop a kiss on his head. It’s not only you that needs him, you remind yourself. Seungyoon also needs you and you’re going to give everything you have and more if it means he’s happy and healthy. “Mommy will feed you, okay?”

[✾✾✾]

A/N: i hope you enjoyed this aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa pls do send me your thoughts and feedbacks through ask or anything bc i'm still a writer that needs ur words to continue writing lol<3

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