incorrectinscrutablequotes

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Other gods play chess or dice. The ones that made me played Cards Against Humanity and it shows.

Lucyfar

[thebibliosphere]

#please don't tell my parents i'm a super villain #the inscrutable machine #lucyfar #submission

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Cassie: I like my boys how I like my girls.

Cassie: …

Cassie: …

Cassie: That’s it, that’s the joke. I’m bisexual.

#please don't tell my parents i'm a super villain #the inscrutable machine #cassie #submission #source: tumblr

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Lucyfar: We should go to Chinatown and burn it down.

Gabriel: I was gonna say we could go investigate.

Lucyfar: Sure, sure, sure. And then burn it to the ground.

Gabriel: No! No burning of anything!

Lucyfar: What? I already got the match lit!

#please don't tell my parents i'm a super villain #the inscrutable machine #lucyfar #gabriel #submission #source: brooklyn 99 #bless

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Penny: Point is, we need to break into that building. Ray: But that’s illegal. Penny: … Ray: I’m fucking with you, I’m in. Claire: I’m in too. I heard the word “illegal.”

#please don't tell my parents i'm a super villain #the inscrutable machine #penny akk #claire lutra #ray viles #submission #ayyyy thank you :D #thankchaosforspellcheck #pdtmp

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

ray: I will now drink 8 glasses of milk in 3 minutes.

penny: Nope! No you won't, no you won't, because if you do that, you will die.

#i have officially classified penny as 'friend who makes sure none of your group dies' #the inscrutable machine #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #ray viles #penny akk #source: parks and rec #pdtmp

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Lucyfar: I have a permit.

Happy Days Durable Medical Supplies: This is just a paper that says, "I can do what I want."

#imean #the inscrutable machine #lucyfar #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #please don't tell my parents i blew up the moon #HDDMS #pdtmp

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Claire: Look, who hasn't had gay thoughts?

Cassie: *nods*

#source: parks and rec #claire lutra #cassie patter #the inscrutable machine #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #(hint: they're both talking about penny) #pdtmp

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

ray: people who use guns are pussies, i just throw bullets really fast

#source: tumblr #the inscrutable machine #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #ray viles #he would tho

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Ray: I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story

#source: texts from last night #ray viles #the inscrutable machine #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #l b r

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Penny: Do you think building Vera made some kind of statement?

Claire: Yes. The statement was that you were very lonely and needed a pet.

#source: parks and rec #penny akk #claire lutra #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #the inscrutable machine #she follows it up with a hug

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

ray & claire: penny's in new york so we're gonna wreck LA

spider: why?

ray & claire: because she's like 85% of our impulse control

#please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #the inscrutable machine #ray viles #claire lutra #spider #what would really happen if penny left to go conquer new york #source: meme

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Irene: What I hear when people yell at me is people caring loudly at me

#the inscrutable machine #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #the snippets from the new book inspired me :D #source: parks and rec #irene #does she have a last name?

[incorrectinscrutablequotes]

Penny: falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person

#tfw u science too hard #please don't tell my parents i'm a supervillain #the inscrutable machine #penny akk #source: texts from last night #pdtmp