justlisteningtotaz

[justlisteningtotaz]

Hello world. Just realized I can't really use this account how I want, since it's attached to my ancient, unused middle school Tumblr. So I've made a new account: @thesevenofbirds :) deuces!

[justlisteningtotaz]

Griffin: “ooh, intimidation! I’m good at that!”

Fitzroy: “immmma imma im gonna wrec u if you donnnntt. It. If you don’t help ussss immm. Doonnnnt. Don’t ma domnt make me!”

#taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz! #grad ep 14 #HE HAS A PLUS 6 #yk actually I love the idea that fitz thinks he’s intimidating but actually his whole skill just entirely comes from big kickass Argo #standing behind him twirling knives #like ‘yeah you better run!’ vibes

[justlisteningtotaz]

I fucking love Barry Bluejeans cause, okay, imagine you’re like, the store keep at a dark magic shop or smthn, and you’re up to your regular nefarious retail shenanigans when in walks in this guy. This, this fucking chubby-fantasy-Tom-Arnold looking motherfucker. This guy who looks like you’d find him shopping for lightbulbs at the Home Depot on a Saturday morning. This guy who looks like he belongs in the footwear section of a department store, comparing the prices between nearly identical pairs of plain white socks. This guy comes into your incredibly deadly and illegal Darke Magyk Emporium flanked by a pair of incredibly hot elf twins. They come up to the counter and ask if you have any books with level 12 spells. Level 12? you ask, skeptical, but cautious. 12 or higher, says This Guy, with a shrug. The elves look bored. 

You pull down an enormous spellbook from the fancy, imposing shelf you have behind the counter. You have to climb the cool roll-y-ladder-thing to get it, and it is fucking heavy. It has tarnished silver clasps. It’s got arcane symbols and pictures drawn in beautiful, terrible detail. It is bound in fucking dwarf skin. You put the book on the counter with an ominous boom and This Fucking Guy goes oh neat!, like he’s looking at a half-off sale on Bran Flakes instead of an incredibly sick and dangerous magykal tome. 

This Guy flips through the spell book. The pages are thick yellow parchment that smell inexplicably of rotting flora. This Guys hands are soft, and look kinda sweaty. He lands on a page in the middle and excitedly points to a spell, sliding the book towards one of the Hot Elves. The Hot Elf is equally excited, and you watch in horror as the two of them coo over some of the most diabolical Necrotic incantations you have ever seen like newlyweds browsing through novelty kitchenware. The other Hot Elf has picked all the molars out of the jar of teeth you keep on the counter and is rolling them like dice. 

This Guy has decided to buy the spellbook. You ask what he’s willing to pay, in your best spooky salesperson voice. He digs through his jeans for a moment and pulls out a handful of thick, golden coins. They are engraved with pictures of strange, otherworldly creatures. The writing on them strains your eyes. You are literally having trouble comprehending what This Motherfucking Guy is trying to hand you right now. Who even is this Guy?? You try an Deception check. This Guy is not trying to trick you. You try and insight check. This Guy is completely sincere. You try True Sight. This Guy is a mother fucking lich. 

There is a Mother Fucking Lich in your shop and he looks like a middle-aged house-husband. 

This Mother Fucking Lich buys the book with his weird coins. One of the Insanely Hot Elves drapes themselves over his shoulders. None of them bother clean up the teeth all over your counter. As the three of them head out of your shop you call out to them, in horrified reverence who the fuck even ARE you??

The Lich looks over his shoulder and stares you dead in the eyes. My name is Barry Bluejeans he says, deadpan. You die, instantly. He leaves. As whatever sinister machinations you have prepared for your inevitable doom are set into motion, you realize one of the Hot Elves switched the gold coins out for candlenights gelt. Anywho that’s why I love Barold thanks for coming to my Ted Tal

#shit this got me cackling thank u #Barry bluejeans is all that I aspire to be #excep like #maybe if he raided lups closet now and then #taz #taz balance

[justlisteningtotaz]

"Following the rules is boring" with Lucretia and anyone? Por favor?

Lucretia shuffled to the kitchen half-awake. She had stopped keeping a glass of water on her nightstand since she knocked one over on one of the journals from cycle 4. Not much was lost, a barren ice plane hardly made for the most riveting recordkeeping. (They shivered. Merle’s right arm got terribly frostbitten after a glove issue on a Light hunt. They shivered some more.) Nevertheless, she had completely changed her habits to prevent future catastrophe. Which meant she often found herself chugging water over the sink like a monster in the middle of the night.

Which is exactly how the twins found her.

They came into the kitchen, footfalls silent as smoke, whispering and laughing about something. They were fully dressed, robes and all. “Creesh?” Lup whispered, tilting her head a little.

Lucretia turned and wiped her mouth, setting her glass on the counter. “What are you two doing?”

Taako and Lup exchanged a quick look. They both came closer and gave her a conspiratorial look. “This plane apparently has the most insane nightlife.” Taako grinned before his face lit up, struck by what was surely a genius idea. “Get dressed, you’re coming with.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I-I mean I don’t have anything to wear,” Lucretia motioned to their outfits, all sequins and fringe, skimming their figures just as they were meant to. If she was being honest, the looks were horribly tacky but as usual, the twins made them work.

“Uh, borrow something from one of us, duh,” Lup crossed her arms, digging her heels in the proverbial sand.

Lucretia continued to waffle. “Well, Captain does have that rule about not going off on any unapproved outings during the first two months in a plane. We all remember cycle 6.”

Taako rolled his eyes. “Following the rules is boring,” he countered. “Besides, bustling nightlife means eye candy. I don’t know about you but I am getting fucking sick of only seeing the seven of us.” He leaned closer to Lucretia. “Also, we all know Lup’s been mooning over Barold basically since this whole thing started, so I could use a competent wingwoman,” he stage whispered, earning him a glare from Lup.

“What Taako’s trying to say is that we want you to come and we’re basically giving you no choice!” Lup offered a bright smile. Lucretia chewed her lip for a moment.

“Yeah okay, why not?” she relented as the twins shimmied in victory.

--

“And really, if you think about it, it could be a good incentive! Because I picked up that sweet Cloak of the Manta Ray when you had me go out to the Sword Coast and I am not allowed to keep it? Madam Director, you must admit that this is silly,” Brian sat askew in the chair in front of Lucretia’s desk, a position that made her back twinge just looking at.

She smiled tiredly and shook her head. “Brian, I understand, I do. Believe me, I know you all do come across a plethora of incredible objects. However, the Bureau has these checks and balances in place for a reason. It can start off with being allowed to keep recovered cloaks and rings and shields, certainly, but then it could build to deeply powered weapons until it’s the relics themselves.” Lucretia pinched the bridge of her nose. She knew it was deeply lame and silly. But it was all part of the plan. She just had to get everyone to believe in her plan for once. “Obviously this is just a hypothetical, I know you wouldn’t do such a thing. But these rules are established and are to be followed by each and every one of our members. You could always try your luck with Leon. I heard he’s got his gachapon all set up. Bet there’s a treasure trove in there!”

 Brian rolled his eyes good naturedly and kicked one of his ankles in protest. “But Madam Director, following the rules is boring,” he complained and in that moment, the voice that she heard was not Brian’s but one she’d not heard in years.

Lucretia winced as though she’d just heard nails scratching down a chalkboard. It’s not his fault, she reminded herself, these are just common things people say. She just wanted one day where she wasn’t reminded of them. Just one.

Seconds too late, she realized she’d ruminated too long. Brian’s dark eyes were fixed on her, his posture now alert. “Everything alright?”

She cleared her throat and nodded. “Yes. Just…Feel a migraine coming on,” she lied. There was an uncomfortable silence. Brian didn’t believe her; she knew that in an instant. But for once, he didn’t call her on it. “Um. Anyway. We do need to discuss your next mission. I feel confident that the Phoenix Fire Gauntlet is somewhere deep in Wave Echo Cave out in Phandalin. I have a number of contacts who I think may be able to help you procure this relic. My hope is that you can spend a few weeks on the ground before you actually attempt to reclaim it for us.”

“I am always up for this kind of challenge, you know that.”

--

“I don’t go to bat for people. Like, ever. But come on. Dude’s been having a rough time since the whole ‘the-planet-almost-got-turned-to-crystal-and-also-he-has-a-dead-woman-in-his-past-none-of-us-knew-about’ thing. I get not wanting them on the moon but I don’t get not letting the guy down planetside to go to a fucking dog park,” Taako paces around Lucretia’s office, gesturing wildly with the Umbra Staff.

“Taako, we’ve got firm rules regarding use and misuse of Bureau resources. Surely you understand.” Lucretia perches on the edge of her desk, watching Taako tire himself out. This is the fourth Bureau complaint he’s aired since entering her office.

He tosses his head back and groans, nearly knocking his hat off his head. “Come on, following the rules is boring. I know in my heart you’ve been a rulebreaker before, Madam D. I can smell it on ya.” He stops his pacing and squints at her as though he’s trying to catalogue all her rule breaking; like he’s trying to weigh all her sins.

Don’t have enough time in the world for that, she thinks to herself.

Taako sighs and crosses his arms. “Just look the other way this once? He’s not gonna get himself in any trouble, big guy just wants to play with some dogs.”

Lucretia weighs her options for a moment; it’s improper form to display favoritism, to give special treatment or to make concessions to a rule. But Taako looks at her with a look she knows so well and she knows he’ll never leave her office otherwise. “Yeah okay, why not?” she concedes as Taako shimmies in victory.

#UGH this is so sweet #also I’m OBSESSED with the idea of Merle having constant issues with the same arm #just like ‘welp there goes the arm for this cycle.’ #suchhh a phenomenal detail #it’s just the perfect kind of wacky coincidence it fits sooo well with the other stuff like #the ducks #and what have you #taz #taz balance

[justlisteningtotaz]

Centaurs of the Scarlet Woods & Centaurs of the Valley, TAZ Graduation Ep. 12+, 2020 🧝‍♂️🧙‍♀️

#I’m sure no one has eeeverrrr made thiiiiis comparison befooorrreeeee #:P #taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz!

[justlisteningtotaz]

good god the circles of secrets

#taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz!

[justlisteningtotaz]

Okay changed my mind, he’s a little shit again.

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, #1 sweetest lad

#I am on ep 12 now. #lol #live tweeting taz! #taz graduation #taz

[justlisteningtotaz]

Ok but PLEASE does anyone talk about the amnesty live show Travis ran? The Bigfoot stole my car with my friends birthday present in it????? Because NO EPISODE OF PODCASTING PAST OR FUTURE WILL EVER TOP THAT LIVE SHOW.

How is Griffin as a car not a meme?

Is no one talking about the stop ‘N’ shop ‘N’ pump slash basketball court run by a ghost??

The heated debate about what forest rangers can do???

Jonathan Taylor Thomas????

U DONT EVEN HAVE TO LISTEN TO AMNESTY, it’s a stand alone! Though there are some nods that are v good.

#what tags do I find this in? #taz amnesty #taz live shows #Bigfoot stole my car #taz #live tweeting taz! #I consider this live tweeting #idc

[justlisteningtotaz]

Omg I’m at the ep where they’re confronting Higglemas &… all his mind codes so far are food things. And he was TALKING to Fitz about his tea ingredients a few eps ago….. it’ll probably be nothing, but if that was setting up something with him controlling fitz too???????? AA! That would be very cool & also I would feel very smart

#I feel like a sleuth #I do expect it to be nothing tho tbh. #taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz! #taz graduation spoilers

[justlisteningtotaz]

“Before this, I had nothing.

I can go back - to nothing.

What I will not have is a body

that is not

my own.”

#justin mcelroy #firbolg #god this quote is so good #taz #taz graduation #do u like my weird poetry lines or is that dumb

[justlisteningtotaz]

I now find the mcelroys fun pronunciation of always saying “wander” like “wonder” fantastical & poetical

#taz #live tweeting taz!

[justlisteningtotaz]

based on an earlier post about parallels

[justlisteningtotaz]

How fun is it that u can tell which big sighs™️ are a Firbolg “let me find the right words” big sigh & which ones are a Justin Mcelroy “hmm how do I approach/address this as the firbolg?” big sigh

#taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz!

[justlisteningtotaz]

i love characters that are literally just a guy

#holy MOLY I love this #🥺 #incredibly good man.

[justlisteningtotaz]

Sir Fitzroy Maplecourt, #1 sweetest lad

#taz #taz graduation #griffin did you just make this character in order to play angus as a pc you have to be honest #he’s complex but good god does he love his friends #I am on episode 8 plz no one burst my bubble if such a thing can be done. #live tweeting taz!

[justlisteningtotaz]

I think it’s fun that they all get a chance to play the season’s tumblrsexyman™️. Balance? Taako obvi. Amnesty? It’s Aubrey. The mini arcs? Tbh it was Griffin both times. Graduation? Of course it’s Argo. We goin round robin bb

#taz #taz graduation #live tweeting taz! #I have officially recieved backlash to this & I will not accept facts & logic as refutation to my weakly supported opinion 😤

[justlisteningtotaz]

Hello. My friends are tired of me livetweeting inboxes with taz so I’m putting it on the internet 😌 if ur here,,, enjoy.

At the start of this blog, I’ve already finished all of balance, commitment/dust, and amnesty and I’m on abt ep 8 of graduation.