lezzybeaverman

[lezzybeaverman]

#I did not know this #but now I do #and my life is better #owls!

[lezzybeaverman]

Apartment building: shakes

me and wife- look at each other

wife (who grew up in San Diego): I think that was an earthquake

me: surely not. maybe someone's laundry is on the spin cycle?

wife- unimpressed look

me: or a big truck went by?

wife: the whole building shook. check.

*googling earthquake brooklyn*

the internet: OH FUCK AN EARTHQUAKE IN BROOKLYN

the moral of the story is, listen to california wife, she knows from earthquakes

#brooklyn earthquake #wife is smarter than me

[lezzybeaverman]

It are true.

#uquiz

[lezzybeaverman]

Also highly recommend Octavia's Brood, a book of short stories by various authors, many of which still live in my head almost daily.

PLEASE for the love of the universe read anti-colonial science fiction and fantasy written from marginalized perspectives. Y’all (you know who you are) are killing me. To see people praise books about empire written exclusively by white women and then turn around and say you don’t know who Octavia Butler is or that you haven’t read any NK Jemisin or that Babel was too heavy-handed just kills me! I’m not saying you HAVE to enjoy specific books but there is such an obvious pattern here

Some of y’all love marginalized stories but you don’t give a fuck about marginalized creators and characters, and it shows. Like damn

#octavia's brood #diverse sci fi

[lezzybeaverman]

anthony j. crowley really is the character ever. he's the snake of eden. he's millions of years old. he can stop time. he likes to feed ducks. his vintage car is cursed to forever play queen. he invented the selfie. he drinks six shots of espresso straight. he lied about starting the spanish inquisition and they believed him. he lost the fucking antichrist. she's genderfluid.

#he punched me in the face once #it was awesome

[lezzybeaverman]

This! My wife starting listening to audio books a few years ago when she got lyme- her eyes and head hurt too much to read, but she was bored. Since then, she's gotten in the habit of having a book on most of the day, and tries to do a new book every few days. But at one point she was saying that she didn't read much anymore, because in her head it "didn't count". Luckily it was pretty easy to persuade her otherwise, because we have a friend who is blind and a voracious reader, so I was able to be like, "Ok, go tell Al he's never read a book," but that kind of thinking is so ingrained that I think without that example to point to she would still be thinking that.

#stories are stories #what matter isn't form or genre #it's the quality of the story behind told

[lezzybeaverman]

The behind the scenes making of LOTR is my Ultimate Comfort Watch. If I'm really sick or depressed or just need reminding of the beauty of the world, watching these incredibly talented nerds craft things with such love always helps. Also, SO jealous I couldn't see the exhibit.

I know that Peter’s Jackson Lord of the Rings trilogy technically has flaws but also….it doesn’t. It’s perfect.

[lezzybeaverman]

This is great, but also! If you feel weird about talking to a person, please note that one of my favorite little moments of kindness is when I was crying on the subway, and without saying anything or even trying to make eye contact, a bit of tissue (I think actually napkin from a to-go coffee, but close enough) just sort of wafted into my blurry field of vision. I think I babbled a thank-you, but other than that there was no talking. It was exactly what I needed, cause if they'd said anything to me I just would have cried more. It was perfect NYC kindness- offer of paper products while maintaining the polite fiction that I had privacy.

If someone starts crying and you don't know what to do / how to react, offer them a tissue. If there are no tissues around, offer to go find something that can be used as a tissue, such as going to the nearest bathroom and getting toilet paper.

Often people who don't have super advanced social skills panic / freeze when someone starts crying because they're not sure how to react.

Offering them a tissue, or hurrying off to the closest bathroom to grab them some toilet paper that can be used as tissue, is a good and safe first step in reacting to someone crying. It comes across as caring and compassionate, and it's definitely helpful as crying often gets messy with fluids leaking down your face.

Plus, it forces you to move and act which can bring you out of that frozen "ahh what do I do, what do I do" state.

#no words only tissues #bless you random subway woman #you are the hero of my heart #tissue-adjacent is perfectly fine

[lezzybeaverman]

But where are the crafty lesbians who made most of their outfit? (they are in my apartment).

[lezzybeaverman]

I love trans chimera cat

Fondly remembering the time that a cat owner casually entered their calico Maine Coon in a cat fancier’s competition and the judges lost their minds because the cat was 1) male and 2) able to bear children

[lezzybeaverman]

Ooooo

Y’ALL STFU AND LOOK AT THIS SHIT I DESIGNED IN 3 DAYS IN A FUGUE STATE

Final edit:

Patterns live now

[lezzybeaverman]

A few years ago (pre-pandemic), my wife and I threw a "wholesomeness party" on July 4th. We had the time off, we wanted to get together with people, but boy were we NOT feeling patriotic. So we thought of all the things we could do that would be fun and soothing and make everyone feel better about the crappiness of the world, and did that instead. We made a playlist of Bob Ross and Reading Rainbow and Sesame Street and other feel-good awesome stuff. We made shrinky-dinks, and those beads you iron together to make a shape, and other arts and crafts. We ate mac and cheese and dino nuggets. We had postcards ready with postage to send to our government representatives about black lives matter. It was kid-friendly (although we did have themed cocktails, cause we love those) so people looking for an alternative to the traditional July 4th BBQ could come. It was delightful and fun! Please steal my idea!

You gotta create replacement activities man. We can't just phase out all the church attendance and all the usamerican social holidays cold turkey in the middle of a loneliness epidemic bro like yeah fuck church fuck thanksgiving and FUCK the 4th of July but like what's the long-term plan. People need holidays and repetitive social rituals or they go crazy. Like are we inventing new ones or ....?

#wholesomeness party #mental health boosting through crafts and friends and fun #basically a play-date for grownups #highly recommend

[lezzybeaverman]

That’s Louis Rossman, a repair technician and YouTuber, who went viral recently for railing against Apple. Apple purposely charges a lot for repairs and you either have to pay up or buy a new device. That’s because Apple withholds necessary tools and information from outside repair shops. And to think, we were just so close to change.

Follow @the-future-now

[lezzybeaverman]

Oh my god I love it. Prancer is my favorite.

I have waited ALL FUCKING YEAR TO POST THIS

Santa is coming tonight.

[lezzybeaverman]

Plagiarism is not ok, even on youtube, especially when it rips off the work of queer creators who are already underrepresented so someone can make thousands of dollars off their work (while talking about how bad it is that queer creators are underrepresented).

Okay it’s been trending for like a week someone explain what happened with the h bomber guy in a way that is succulent and doesn’t require me to learn any YouTubers

#I'd apologize for the picture #but I'm not sorry #so succulent! #also I had never seen any of the youtubers he mentions either #but I did learn that I hate james somerton's taste in clothing almost as much as I hate him #which is shallow and stupid #but SO many unflattering turtlenecks #turtlenecks are difficult to pull off #like writing your own stuff apparently #but seriously watch the whole thing #I watched it in chunks of like an hour apiece and it was really interesting and engaging and funny #and now I am working my way through the playlist of excellent queer creators he included in the description #it's worth the time

[lezzybeaverman]

#anyway here's wonderwall #even though that's not really a song for drums #for the meeeeemes

[lezzybeaverman]

All of these are great, but especially with the water! My wife and I used to have a (terrible, grumpy, much beloved and deeply missed) weird little rat terrier named Dax who was the most hydrophobic dog ever to the point where she rarely ever drank water. So whenever she DID, I would do a big loud YES YOU ARE SO GOOD GOOD GIRL TO DRINK WATER thing. (for reference, this was in the jenna marbles "cermet" voice, as are all dog things for me, so it was more like "driank wah-tear!") Anyway, one of my human friends has since informed me that whenever she hydrates, she hears my voice telling her she is a GOOD GIRL YES HYDRAYTUN IS EEMPORTAINT and it apparently really motivates her. So, ummm, yknow, maybe try praising yourself like you are a recalcitrant dog? I will do it for you! YES GOOD JOB PERSON GOOD JOB TO REST AND TAKE DRUGS AND DRINK WATER YOU ARE DOING VERY WELL

reminder to:

straighten your back

go pee goddAMN IT STOP HOLDING IT

go take your meds if you need to

drink some water

go get a snack if you havent eaten in a while

maybe wander around the house/stretch a little if you’ve been sat at the computer a while (artists especially: sTRETCH THOSE WRISTS)

reply to that text/message from earlier you’d forgotten about

maybe send a nice lil message to someone having a bad day?

#training yourself like a dog is surprisingly effective! #I have also been known to coat particularly bad tasting or textured pills in peanut butter and dose myself #so #maybe I am just odd