metalxmind

[metalxmind]

Raven *whispering*: What do you see in this guy? Erik: Not to victim blame but that's exactly what I'm fucking doing Charles:...at least he's self aware?

[metalxmind]

i should be a chess grandmaster because i'm so good at sitting at a table with my head in my hands and a look of despair on my face

[metalxmind]

So that’s basically how it went down

[metalxmind]

Charles: Erik we need to talk about the hair in the drain.

Erik: It’s not mine

Charles: It’s our bathroom. Who the fuck else’s would it be?

#cherik #incorrect cherik quotes

[metalxmind]

Erik: Nothing is going right

Erik:…

Erik: I want to be held.

#charles xavier #cherik #erik lehnsherr #incorrect cherik quotes

[metalxmind]

The lab assistant cums in my mouth. I sit and ponder for a few seconds, then say "one hundred thirty seven million...five hundred sixty two thousand...three hundred and ninety...six? No, three hundred ninety seven"

The professor nods in amazement as he marks "correct" on his sheet for the 17th consecutive time

[metalxmind]

my main requirement in a partner is someone who's willing to "yes, and" me. if i say something completely insane i need them to just pick that up and run with it and commit to the bit until we wind up with a conversation that's funny to us but completely incoherent to everyone within earshot. actually now that i'm typing this out i've realised my ideal relationship might just be "shitty improv comedy duo"

[metalxmind]

Big noses are very sexy, actually

[metalxmind]

heh, what a kind and lovely compliment friend. now try saying something fucked up and horny.

[metalxmind]

Who needs toxic relationships with unreliable people who never give you the same energy you give them and try to gaslight you with false information when you can just take a train in Germany

[metalxmind]

Send '➳♥' and I'll generate a number 1-34 for where my muse will kiss yours

Keep reading

[metalxmind]

date someone that makes you roll your eyes and smile right after

[metalxmind]

the intimacy of knowing how to make someone’s perfect cup of coffee or tea

[metalxmind]

Smut Prompts-

“Don’t cover your mouth~ Let me hear you~”

“Do you want to cum?”

“Your so tight~”

“Remember your place slut.”

“Keep your eyes open, let me see your pretty lil’ eyes.”

“Just cum once more, I know you have it in you~”

“Open your mouth for me baby.”

“What makes you think you’re the dominate one tonight~?”

“You know what happens when you misbehave, watch your mouth.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

“You small cock is so pathetic. You think you’ll get any girl off with that?”

“Keep acting like that, I’ll fuck you in front of everyone.”

“You deserve a reward for being a good boy today, what shall it be~?”

“I suggest being quiet, you know these walls are thin~”

“Wow you’re pathetic! Cumming over a few fingers!”

“You know I don’t like being teased. Get on with it!”

“Used your safe word~? Too bad, I won’t stop till I’m done.”

“Think you can handle that much?”

“Did you touch yourself while I was gone?”

“Beg for it.”

“Keep moaning my name like that!”

“You wanna fuck louder than them to establish dominance?”

“Hands behind your back.”

“I’ll fuck you till you can’t even speak.”

“Im hard, you’re hungry. How bout’ we kill two bird with one stone, eh?”

“For Halloween, you should really go bobbing for dick.”

“Move an inch and you won’t be cumming tonight.”

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum inside you.”

“You’re too flexible for your own good.”

“God, I’m so hard for you~”

“Damn, you're dripping and I’ve barely even touched you. Do I get you that excited?”

“Hmm, you’re a bit of a masochist it seems~”

“You like that don’t you~?”

“You’re so pretty when my dick stretches your mouth like that~”

“I wanna hear you moan and scream my name.”

“I think we passed the ‘friends stage’ about 5 orgasms ago ______.”

“I won’t bite. Unless you’re into that.”

“I could fuck you against the glass so people can see how well you take it.”

“Oh shit. I think your parents heard us.”

“How badly do you want it?”

“You better eat quick, before I eat you.”

“Bend over the desk love.”

“Rumor has it, you want me to rail you.”

“Your face is heating up, something you gotta say?”

“Aww you’ve made a big sticky mess, clean it up.”

#send i'll write a fic based on them

[metalxmind]

[brazenly stolen from Pinterest]

What?

[metalxmind]

press Ⓧ to PENIS BLAST

[metalxmind]

I’m not pleased and I’m going to start being petty about it

#it’s them #you can’t tell me it’s not