neuroticbookworm

[neuroticbookworm]

Being a young adult is so strange. You enter a coffee shop. The 20 year old girl waiting behind you cried all night because she just came to a new city for university and she feels so alone. That 27 year old guy over there works a job he is overqualified for, he lives with his parents and wants to move out but doesn't know what to do about it. That one 24 year old dude already has a car, a house, and a job waiting for him once he graduates thanks to his dad's connections. The 26 year old barista couldn't complete his higher education because he has to work and take care of his family. The 28 year old girl sitting next to you has no friends to go out with so she is texting her mother. That couple (both 25 years old) are married and the girl is pregnant. The 29 year old writing something on her laptop has realized that she chose the wrong major so she is trying to start all over. We are not alone in this, but we are actually so alone. Do you feel me

[neuroticbookworm]

how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

#how to tumblr

[neuroticbookworm]

Shawn and Gus are drift compatible but under no circumstances should they ever be allowed to pilot a jaeger

#oh man i love them #psych

[neuroticbookworm]

wants to be clingy 🤝 scared of being annoying

[neuroticbookworm]

obsessed with the way my robotics team lead talks

she’s reinventing hieroglyphics

[neuroticbookworm]

[neuroticbookworm]

So You Need To Buy A Computer But You Don't Know What Specs Are Good These Days

Hi.

This is literally my job.

Lots of people are buying computers for school right now or are replacing computers as their five-year-old college laptop craps out so here's the standard specs you should be looking for in a (windows) computer purchase in August 2023.

PROCESSOR

Intel i5 (no older than 10th Gen)

Ryzen 7

You can get away with a Ryzen 5 but an intel i3 should be an absolute last resort. You want at least an intel i5 or a Ryzen 7 processor. The current generation of intel processors is 13, but anything 10 or newer is perfectly fine. DO NOT get a higher performance line with an older generation; a 13th gen i5 is better than an 8th gen i7. (Unfortunately I don't know enough about ryzens to tell you which generation is the earliest you should get, but staying within 3 generations is a good rule of thumb)

RAM

8GB absolute minimum

If you don't have at least 8GB RAM on a modern computer it's going to be very, very slow. Ideally you want a computer with at least 16GB, and it's a good idea to get a computer that will let you add or swap RAM down the line (nearly all desktops will let you do this, for laptops you need to check the specs for Memory and see how many slots there are and how many slots are available; laptops with soldered RAM cannot have the memory upgraded - this is common in very slim laptops)

STORAGE

256GB SSD

Computers mostly come with SSDs these days; SSDs are faster than HDDs but typically have lower storage for the same price. That being said: SSDs are coming down in price and if you're installing your own drive you can easily upgrade the size for a low cost. Unfortunately that doesn't do anything for you for the initial purchase.

A lot of cheaper laptops will have a 128GB SSD and, because a lot of stuff is stored in the cloud these days, that can be functional. I still recommend getting a bit more storage than that because it's nice if you can store your music and documents and photos on your device instead of on the cloud. You want to be able to access your files even if you don't have internet access.

But don't get a computer with a big HDD instead of getting a computer with a small SSD. The difference in speed is noticeable.

SCREEN (laptop specific)

Personally I find that touchscreens have a negative impact on battery life and are easier to fuck up than standard screens. They are also harder to replace if they get broken. I do not recommend getting a touch screen unless you absolutely have to.

A lot of college students especially tend to look for the biggest laptop screen possible; don't do that. It's a pain in the ass to carry a 17" laptop around campus and with the way that everything is so thin these days it's easier to damage a 17" screen than a 14" screen.

On the other end of that: laptops with 13" screens tend to be very slim devices that are glued shut and impossible to work on or upgrade.

Your best bet (for both functionality and price) is either a 14" or a 15.6" screen. If you absolutely positively need to have a 10-key keyboard on your laptop, get the 15.6". If you need something portable more than you need 10-key, get a 14"

FORM FACTOR (desktop specific)

If you purchase an all-in-one desktop computer I will begin manifesting in your house physically. All-in-ones take away every advantage desktops have in terms of upgradeability and maintenance; they are expensive and difficult to repair and usually not worth the cost of disassembling to upgrade.

There are about four standard sizes of desktop PC: All-in-One (the size of a monitor with no other footprint), Tower (Big! probably at least two feet long in two directions), Small Form Factor Tower (Very moderate - about the size of a large shoebox), and Mini/Micro/Tiny (Small! about the size of a small hardcover book).

If you are concerned about space you are much better off getting a MicroPC and a bracket to put it on your monitor than you are getting an all-in-one. This will be about a million percent easier to work on than an all-in-one and this way if your monitor dies your computer is still functional.

Small form factor towers and towers are the easiest to work on and upgrade; if you need a burly graphics card you need to get a full size tower, but for everything else a small form factor tower will be fine. Most of our business sales are SFF towers and MicroPCs, the only time we get something larger is if we have to put a $700 graphics card in it. SFF towers will accept small graphics cards and can handle upgrades to the power supply; MicroPCs can only have the RAM and SSD upgraded and don't have room for any other components or their own internal power supply.

WARRANTY

Most desktops come with either a 1 or 3 year warranty; either of these is fine and if you want to upgrade a 1 year to a 3 year that is also fine. I've generally found that if something is going to do a warranty failure on desktop it's going to do it the first year, so you don't get a hell of a lot of added mileage out of an extended warranty but it doesn't hurt and sometimes pays off to do a 3-year.

Laptops are a different story. Laptops mostly come with a 1-year warranty and what I recommend everyone does for every laptop that will allow it is to upgrade that to the longest warranty you can get with added drop/damage protection. The most common question our customers have about laptops is if we can replace a screen and the answer is usually "yes, but it's going to be expensive." If you're purchasing a low-end laptop, the parts and labor for replacing a screen can easily cost more than half the price of a new laptop. HOWEVER, the way that most screens get broken is by getting dropped. So if you have a warranty with drop protection, you just send that sucker back to the factory and they fix it for you.

So, if it is at all possible, check if the manufacturer of a laptop you're looking at has a warranty option with drop protection. Then, within 30 days (though ideally on the first day you get it) of owning your laptop, go to the manufacturer site, register your serial number, and upgrade the warranty. If you can't afford a 3-year upgrade at once set a reminder for yourself to annually renew. But get that drop protection, especially if you are a college student or if you've got kids.

And never, ever put pens or pencils on your laptop keyboard. I've seen people ruin thousand dollar, brand-new laptops that they can't afford to fix because they closed the screen on a ten cent pencil. Keep liquids away from them too.

LIFESPAN

There's a reasonable chance that any computer you buy today will still be able to turn on and run a program or two in ten years. That does not mean that it is "functional."

At my office we estimate that the functional lifespan of desktops is 5-7 years and the functional lifespan of laptops is 3-5 years. Laptops get more wear and tear than desktops and desktops are easier to upgrade to keep them running. At 5 years for desktops and 3 years for laptops you should look at upgrading the RAM in the device and possibly consider replacing the SSD with a new (possibly larger) model, because SSDs and HDDs don't last forever.

COST

This means that you should think of your computers as an annual investment rather than as a one-time purchase. It is more worthwhile to pay $700 for a laptop that will work well for five years than it is to pay $300 for a laptop that will be outdated and slow in one year (which is what will happen if you get an 8th gen i3 with 8GB RAM). If you are going to get a $300 laptop try to get specs as close as possible to the minimums I've laid out here.

If you have to compromise on these specs, the one that is least fixable is the processor. If you get a laptop with an i3 processor you aren't going to be able to upgrade it even if you can add more RAM or a bigger SSD. If you have to get lower specs in order to afford the device put your money into the processor and make sure that the computer has available slots for upgrade and that neither the RAM nor the SSD is soldered to the motherboard. (one easy way to check this is to search "[computer model] RAM upgrade" on youtube and see if anyone has made a video showing what the inside of the laptop looks like and how much effort it takes to replace parts)

Computers are expensive right now. This is frustrating, because historically consumer computer prices have been on a downward trend but since 2020 that trend has been all over the place. Desktop computers are quite expensive at the moment (August 2023) and decent laptops are extremely variably priced.

If you are looking for a decent, upgradeable laptop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

14" Lenovo - $670 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 512GB SSD

15.6" HP - $540 - 11th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

14" Dell - $710 - 12th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, and 256GB SSD

If you are looking for a decent, affordable desktop that will last you a few years, here are a couple of options that you can purchase in August 2023 that have good prices for their specs:

SFF HP - $620 - 10th-gen i5, 16GB RAM, 1TB SSD

SFF Lenovo - $560 - Ryzen 7 5000 series, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

Dell Tower - $800 - 10th-gen i7, 16GB RAM, 512GB SSD

If I were going to buy any of these I'd probably get the HP laptop or the Dell Tower. The HP Laptop is actually a really good price for what it is.

Anyway happy computering.

#how to buy a computer 101

[neuroticbookworm]

#the untamed #chinese bl #cdrama #queue me a favor

[neuroticbookworm]

blows my mind that i have little online friends who mildly care about me. it’s really nice

[neuroticbookworm]

LOVE IN THE AIR | episode six

#love in the air #thai bl #queue me a favor

[neuroticbookworm]

The Kindness of TsukuTabe Season 2 Episode 8

I watched episode 8 of TsukuTabe Season 2, and I wanna discuss the absolutely breathtaking scene that was designed as a mutual absolution of guilt that women feel for breaking the chain of patriarchy, an act that forces them to abandon the woman before them to a worse fate, to face their woes alone.

I was scared and on-guard when Fujita-san and Kasuga started discussing their responsibilities as the women in their household and how it makes them disappear over time. Because it hits too close to home for me and I was just not ready to have this guilt dissected in front of me. But the writing of this show is so wonderfully brilliant and treated the emotions that both the characters in the show and I, as an audience, were feeling with precious care.

The “You don’t have to go home” from Fujita-san was an unexpected but necessary reassurance for Kasuga. I’ve not yet watched Kasuga interact with her mother over the phone, which could be because her mother doesn't even have the autonomy to call her own daughter. Kasuga most likely has mixed feelings about her mother’s place in her life, because her mother would’ve also unwittingly contributed to the misery and hopelessness Kasuga felt in her family’s house. Any meaningful nuanced conversation between them right now, when the tensions are boiling over is almost impossible. Fujita-san’s “I would tell my daughter the same thing” is exactly what Kasuga needed to hear to soothe her bruised heart, even if her head has already made the correct and logical decision to not go back.

And Kasuga’s “You should take care of your own life too” to Fujita-san makes her visibly happy! She hugs herself and says “It is as if it was my own daughter telling me that”

(look at the relief and happiness on her face! I'm so emotional about this episode)

This scene then blending into the two women sharing a meal together, enjoying a brief respite before going back to their respective battles was so poignant. And the fact that this scene is immediately followed by Kasuga absolutely decimating her dad and his tantrum, demanding her return, was extra triumphant. Kasuga may have drawn most of her strength from her chosen family, but I believe she also got some of it from an Asian mother who told an Asian daughter to cherish her life and not sacrifice it for the sake of her parents.

#tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #tsukutabe #japanese gl

[neuroticbookworm]

this was made especially for those of us who cut ties with our shitty families, huh

i cried so much this whole episode. i know that i can't be in that house and be who i am at the same time, but the guilt and shame never really go away. i love that this episode said, wholeheartedly: fuck what society says, you should be wherever allows you to be happiest

anyway! you always hear that family estrangement is rare in asian communities, but i did it! and you can do it, too! dump your shitty family! i believe in you~

#cosigning that warcry to dump your shitty families #life feels so much lighter when you do #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #tsukutabe #japanese gl

[neuroticbookworm]

In the annals of Great Episodes of Asian Dramas: episode 8 of She Loves to Cook, and She Loves to Eat ranks HIGH. A meditation on the pull between individualism and collectivism, filial piety vs. emotional survival, gender equity vs. social and cultural patriarchy.

And: the need for validation, the need for family and friends to help reflect one's own emotional reality. That this show chose RINA SAWAYAMA, a Japanese transplant to the UK, someone who had to uproot her young life, was ignored and belittled until she could learn to speak English, and then kicked utter ASS by becoming a fabulous and famous singer -- to enter this show through her song, "Chosen Family," my GAWD, did the showmakers of TsukuTabe really know what the hell they were doing.

This episode was EXQUISITE. FIFTEEN MINUTES OF EMOTIONAL JOURNEYS, DRIVES, AND VALIDATIONS. FIFTEEN FUCKING MINUTES.

Between this show and I Cannot Reach You, Japan is fucking WINNING with the kicking to the curb of Asian social expectations of humility and silence.

DAMN. I know I missed the live fan watch on this show, but if there are peeps who haven't watched it yet, I'd say drop everything and catch up like I am. KASUGA FOR THE DAMN WIN AGAINST HER FATHER. WOW.

#why yes i needed that rina sawayama lore to make me more emotional about this episode #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #tsukutabe #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #japanese gl

[neuroticbookworm]

Oh my GOD, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat did not have to demolish my emotions like that in episode 8. I am so proud of Kasuga for standing her ground and prioritizing her life, her happiness, and her chosen family over the demands of filial piety. It’s really important to me the way they have always framed Kasuga’s family interactions in relative dark and cramped spaces (she has both of the conversations with her father in the evening in the car) and how every time she has a phone call where it is clear her life holds no value in the eyes of her father, Kasuga enters a space that is bright and warm with Nomoto right at her side. 

This season really feels like it is focusing on a theme of “freedom.” Nomoto freeing herself from her past identities and finding new ones that fit, Nagumo making steps to free herself from the fear of eating food with others, and Kasuga freeing the expectations her father has of her, and allowing herself to live and full and happy life that is her own. 

I love this gl for the women it includes, the “it takes a village” kind of mindset that Kasuga’s relationship to her coworkers, to Nagumo, and to Nomoto are what give her the strength to make that decision is beautiful. It was so important to the story, and also so important to me that Kasuga was able to have that conversation in the restaurant with her coworker. 

To be able to sit with her coworker and hear first hand how much regret and how much identity erasure happens when your own life is disregarded for the sake of upholding misogyny. The way this very directly confirmed what I think Kasuga feared should she return home. The way her coworker was able to hear a daughter be worried for her mother and want to free her, free them both, from playing caretaker. The way Kasuga was able to hear a mother tell her the only thing she wanted was for her daughter to be free. 

The way we know Kasuga feels the same way about Nomoto because of how Kasuga seeks her out. Nomoto is the safety blanket, Nomoto is the hug, Nomoto is light, and warmth, and freedom, and a fully belly she never got to have as a kid. Kasuga just rebelled against the pressures of filial piety, and she needs someone to ground her. I love that Kasuga got to see someone get furious on her behalf, to value her life so highly that they would fight an elder for daring to presume otherwise. 

I, like many, was crying at the scene set to Chosen Family. It was so beautiful to see three independent women coming together around the table, valuing each other as they are, accommodating and considerate of everyone’s needs. I feel like we don’t get enough focus on that in BLs. It’s why I love friend groups like Dean, Pharm, and Manow in Until We Meet Again, or Samsee, Prem, and Dynamite in Cooking Crush, or Toh, Jao, Daisy, Som, etc in Secret Crush on You because that is often the closest we get to chosen family being shown on screen. It’s definitely there, do not get me wrong, but the feeling of a scene like this, of a character rejecting their biological family and sticking to their chosen is rare to me in many of the other shows I’ve watched so far. 

 Anyway, all this to say I am so proud of Kasuga and I am excited to see where the rest of this season takes us if we’re already getting some of my favorite scenes of all time not even halfway through the season. 

And thank you to @furritsubs for taking all that time and effort to sub this show for us <3

#the chosen family scene took us all down huh #as it should #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #tsukutabe #japanese gl

[neuroticbookworm]

I have caught up through episode 8 of TsukuTabe and I really cannot contain my emotion about Kasuga's arc with her family in these episodes, so I am here to scream. That was so fucking beautiful. This has to be one of my favorite depictions of breaking the cycle of family trauma that I have ever seen.

I loved how efficiently the show established everything we needed to know about Kasuga's father with just a few lines of dialogue over the phone. The way he began the conversation by trying to shame her, the way he started making demands without asking her a single question about her life or how she was doing, the way he casually said "Akira is in the prime of his life" while tacitly dismissing any worth or value Kasuga's own life as a single woman might hold. With just that one conversation we knew exactly who that man is and why Kasuga has tried to build her own life in solitude rather than continue to live with him.

And her conversation with Nagumo gave us even more insight into how she was raised that fills in some context about the way she thinks about food and why taking pleasure in her meals is such a big deal for her. Kasuga's family deprived her of food (love), and so it's no wonder that meeting someone like Nomoto, who was so determined to give her food (love), would be such a life altering event for her, and finally give her the sense of safety she has never had.

I loved, too, that the show delivered some firm commentary on the way women are subjugated in heterosexual marriages and forced to serve their husband’s family like indentured slaves, particularly in many Asian cultures. Kasuga was very affected by seeing her mother live that way, and you could see she is carrying guilt about leaving this burden to her mother. But ultimately, she cannot control her mother's choices or fix her mistakes, she can only save herself from repeating them. And she found the strength within herself to do it, even though it must have been terrifying to take that leap.

The way that Kasuga drew that boundary with her father was a Very Big Deal in her cultural context, and I loved that the show drove that point home by having Kasuga confess to Nomoto about her decision and express her fear of being judged. She knows she will absolutely be cast as a bad daughter and judged harshly by most people who find out she has cut ties with her father, and she needed Nomoto to reassure her once again that their relationship is a safe place for her. She needed Nomoto to reassure her that she is her family now and she will always be on her side. And of course Nomoto did exactly that, and we got to end this very emotional episode with a Kasuga who is bravely building the life she wants for herself with the love and support of her chosen family.

#the way kasuga just tore into her dad during that confrontation was so satisfying #tsukuritai onna to tabetai onna #she loves to cook and she loves to eat #tsukutabe #intergenerational trauma #japanese gl

[neuroticbookworm]

are u ever sick w longing. and i don't just mean romantic longing. i mean longing for a place you barely get to see, longing for friends you no longer have, longing for feelings you might have left behind in your childhood, longing for creativity, longing for a rich and more expansive life, longing for less inhibition. longing for more passion. longing for ur life to be so incandescent w something it thaws all the frost in ur bones. are u ever so consumed w it it rends ur heart in two. do u understand me

[neuroticbookworm]

Rose's Day of Asks

If you could remake the ost of a show, or a couple, that you think got it really wrong, which would it be?

Have a great Day💜

Hi Rose!

Thanks for the question and for all of the others popping on my dash, it's been fun to see so many people engaged!

As for my turn...

The OST I would remake:

I still think that Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Soul could have been done better but when I'm thinking of some of my fav shows I do think that Laws of Attraction could use a tad better music and sound design.

I know that it comes with a genre and LoA is very much lakorn-coded with the bombastic and dramatic sound but it could have been an easy way to kind of level the show up a bit. There's got to be a better way to manage the tension than "something is about to happen" generic kind of tune.

But on the other hand Nawin's entrance to the random hip-hop tune is one of my most beloved music-related moments of 2023 (the list that never left my drafts lol) . So y'know, you get some, you lose some.

A couple that got it wrong

You know what? Someone recently reblogged my Absolute Zero post with the tags suggesting that they intend to watch it (@sewichii it was you probably) and I was filled with dread. So I would gladly employ you and @lurkingshan to write a proper story for Ongsa and Suansoon from the ep 3 onwards (I'm willing to pay real money). Please do them boys that we met in the first eps some justice so I could finish watching it in peace.

#the lost potential of absolute zero is criminal #let my bestie in she will fix them #absolute zero #thai bl