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njmljn

r.a.

; you are my fifth season

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njmljn · 5 years

Text

hogwarts wlw aesthetics

gryffindor: forehead kisses, brushing her hair out of her face, boxes of chocolates, making each other laugh, blanket forts, seeing her in your jacket and feeling your heart flip, attack hugs, stupidly competitive “i obviously let you win, babe” moments, flying together, serenading her even if your voice is awful, embarassing amounts of pda, linked arms, doodling hearts on your homework, making a huge deal out of her birthday just to make her feel special, fond eye-rolls, tickle fights, sharing a blanket in front of the fire, hugs that last forever, getting on with her friends, catching yourself staring at her, grand gestures to try and impres her, playing footsie under the table, sweaty palms when you hold hands

slytherin: matching tattoos, skipping class to make out, “i hate you less than other people”, inside jokes, stealing each others clothes and makeup, bed-sharing, lil bit of healthy possessiveness, love letters, “i’m so proud of you”s, hickeys, never shutting up about each other and annoying the hell out of everyone else, it couple, matching jewellery, fierce loyalty, little gifts for no reason, open flirting, knowing exactly how she likes her coffee, lip-biting, conversations at 3am, ironic pet names, your arm around her, stupid dance parties in your underwear, meeting her parents, singing her to sleep, feeling like you’re missing something when she’s not there, being able to communicate just by giving each other a look, calling her your girlfriend around other people

hufflepuff: nose kisses, playing with her hair as she lays in your lap, bringing her flowers, baking together and getting flour everywhere, cuddling, knowing when to say sorry, picnics, walking her to class even if it’s the opposite direction to where you’re going, blushing, binge-watching series together, hand-holding, knowing exactly how to cheer her up after a bad day, board games, making flower crowns, adopting a pet together, “i’m trying to be mad at you stop looking so cute”, sickeningly domestic, sleepy mornings lying in bed, playlists of songs that remind you of her, one drink two straws, cute petnames, “you hang up first”, realising she’s your best friend, insisting on carrying her books, laughing against each other’s mouths

ravenclaw: poetry, bringing her food/drinks when she’s studying, reading aloud to each other, pushing her glasses up her nose when they slide down, cafe dates, quiet nights in, walks in the woods holding hands, cheek kisses, curling up in one seat, soft love songs, the way your name sounds when she says it, talking for hours, smoothing away the frown between her eyebrows when she’s stressed, shoulder rubs, whispered “i love you”s, scheduled date nights, little notes slipped into books, total support, the feeling of being known, helping each other out, cooking meals for her, slow dancing, “this reminded me of you”, learning all her little quirks, the smell of her hair

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njmljn · 5 years

Text

an ode to my lover, my promise to you

i imagine getting married someday. to the one who i love, and who loves me in return. to she who wants to spend the rest of her life with me, and i with her.

i imagine us having the most perfect wedding ceremony— just us, and our closest friends. small, quaint, picturesque and simple, yet beautiful. would i wear a dress? would she wear a dress? or maybe we'd just both wear tuxes because that just feels more like us? i think she'd look beautiful in a bridal gown though. maybe we'd both wear dresses and then change to tuxes. or maybe we'd say fuck traditions and wear whatever the hell it is we want to our own wedding. we're far from anything conventional anyways.

maybe she'll walk down the aisle and the back of my eyes will prick with tears when i see her. maybe we'll both walk down the aisle, together, clutching onto each other's trembling hands and holding each other close. would i feel acceptance then? at that very moment? would i finally feel at peace with myself?

will i cry while i say my vows? will she cry while she says hers? will i look at her and know that this is the best decision i've ever made and i don't know a life without her and would never want to spend a day without her by my side? will i know that i would never want to lose her and that i'd want to be by her side, through the good and bad, in sickness and in health, till death does us part? will i know in that very moment when i say “i do”, that i'll have all the love and acceptance i'll ever need, as long as i have her here, right by my side, with me?

will i have eyes only for her, throughout the entire ceremony? even as our guests come up to us to congratulate us, and i can't tear my eyes away from her to acknowledge them because she looks so beautiful and i can't believe that she's mine? that she's here, that she loves me, unapologetically so, and that she wants to be with me for the rest of her life?

when she turns to look at me, with unshed tears and heavy sorrow in her eyes when she realizes our families didn't come, will i remember the taste of fear and bitterness that so frequented my tongue? will i look back at her, with my heart lodged in my throat— helpless, with only my love and presence to offer, swamped with the sorrow she feels, that i can't take away? when she blinks them away and i see the bravery and defiance rise in their stead, and she squeezes my hand in hers in reassurance, her love for me fierce in her eyes, will my own well up when i realize just how much of the world she'd go up against with me? for me?

when we lie in bed that night, holding each other close, her skin warm against mine, as i watch the shadows cast across her face, only faintly illuminated by the moonlight, will i grow breathless with awe? will i feel her pulse against mine, beating warm and steady beneath her skin, and know calmness and comfort? when i reach out to touch her face in wonderment that she's real, that we're married and she's my wife, will i be left dazed with disbelief?

when she stirs from my touch and reaches for me in her sleep, and my heart swells and bleeds with my love for her— is when i will know, that i could not care less about their acid tongues and my damnation, for i would love her till i steal my very last breath, and even then, i won't stop. i won't ever stop. i would love her in life, and even after death. i would love her in this life, in the next, and for all the lives to come, for all i've ever known is how much i love her, and i have never known a time where i hadn't. i will know then, that i would die for her, travel to the ends of the world for her, burn in the depths of hell for her; if she promised me her hand in mine.

when i pull her even closer to me then, her body flushed against mine, my hands skimming down her spine, and i breathe her in— i am no longer afraid. because my love for her, is the purest sin of all.

my love,

i've loved you then, i love you now, and i'll love you after.

you make me brave.

forever yours,