ojirocardigansniper

[ojirocardigansniper]

I've always had chronic fatigue. I remember being twelve, and an adult mentioned how I couldn't possibly know how tired they felt because adulthood brought levels of exhaustion I couldn't imagine. I thought about that for days in fear, because I couldn't remember the last time I didn't feel tired.

Eventually I came to terms with the fact that I was just tired, and I couldn't do as many things as everyone else. People called me lazy, and I knew that wasn't true, but there's only so many times you can say "I'm tired" before people think it's an excuse. I don't blame them. When a teenager does 20 hours of extracurriculars every week and only says "I'm too tired" when you ask them to do the dishes, it's natural to think it's an excuse. At some point, I started to think the same thing.

It didn't matter that I could barely sit up. It was probably all in my head, and if I really wanted to, I could do it.

When I learned the name for it, chronic fatigue, I thought wow, people that have that must be miserable, because I am always tired and I cannot imagine what it would feel like if it were worse.

Spoiler alert, if you've been tired for a decade, it's probably chronic fatigue.

Once I figured that out though, I thought of my energy as the same as everyone else's, just smaller in quantity. And that might be true for some people, but I've figured out recently that it absolutely isn't true for me.

I used to be like wow I have so much energy today I can do this whole list for sure! And then I'd do the dishes and have to lay down for 2 hours. Then I'd think I must gave misjudged that, I didn't have as much energy as I thought.

But the thing is - I did have enough energy for more tasks, I just didn't go about them properly.

With chronic fatigue, your maximum energy is obviously much smaller than the average person's. Doing the dishes for you might use up the same percentage of energy that it takes to do all the daily chores for someone else.

If someone without chronic fatigue was to do all the daily chores, they would take breaks. Because otherwise, they're sprinting a marathon for no reason and it would take way more energy than necessary. We have to do the same.

Put the cups in the dishwasher, take a break. Put the bowls in, take a break. So on and so forth. This may mean taking breaks every 2-5 minutes but afterwards, you get to not feel like you've run a marathon while carrying 4 people on your back.

Today, I had a moderate amount of energy. Under my old system of go till you drop, I probably could have done most of the dishes and wiped off the counter and then been dead to the world for the rest of the day.

Under the new system, I scooped litter boxes, cleaned out the fridge, took the trash out, cleaned the stove, and wiped off the counter and did all the dishes. And after all that, I still had it in me to make a simple dinner, unload the dishwasher, and tidy the kitchen.

It was complete and utter insanity. Just because I sat down whenever I felt myself getting more tired than I already was.

All this to say, take fucking breaks. It's time to unlearn the ceaseless productivity bullshit that capitalism has shoved down our throats. Its actively counterproductive. Just sit down. Drink some water. Rest your body when it needs to rest.

There will still be days where there is nothing to do but rest, and days where half a load of dishes is absolutely the most I can do. But this method has really helped me minimize those, which is so incredibly relieving.

#waagh. yeah. #disability tag

[ojirocardigansniper]

since moving here ive noticed europeans have no concept of how few americans ever leave USA. every american tourist youve met is of an economic crust that is vastly unobtainable to the other like. 85% generously. no matter what you have believed i can guarantee this. even getting to canada isnt really a possibility and the mexico-US border is highly controlled and militarized.

to put it into perspective. a ~2 hour flight from london to warsaw is like. 30 to 45 USD?

and a 2 hour flight from one US city to another would be about 130 USD

it was very cheap to fly here. i make over 100k USD now and i dont know if ill ever be able to afford leaving. if that gives you an idea of how prohibitive travel is here. i havent even touched on how the US has Zero guaranteed holidays by the govt. many people here go years without ever having an entire week off of work

this has had a like. massive impact on American Brain and they dont even know it because travel isnt even a consideration economically. they dont even know how much more vacation time european countries have guaranteed

#oh reading this post like tailsgetstrolled.jpg. oh god. you guys get to have What.

[ojirocardigansniper]

my friend events this week:

I reached out to an old high school friend after 12 years of not speaking, only to find that she's in Greece doing a phd on psychiatric euthanasia. I confessed to being ignorant about the topic, so she emailed me 19 research papers and said "this will be a good start"

I asked another friend to provide a professional reference for me as part of a grant application. she agreed to, on the condition that I log into neopets, collect the daily free item, and transfer it to her account

#god. yeah. i want to live like this forever. thats the love of thr world

[ojirocardigansniper]

I had a dream that I went to a video rental store (???) and they had a gundam manga where everything was the same except the entire cast was cambrian creatures (?????)

#GOES HARD AS FUCK #gundam #comics

[ojirocardigansniper]

you came back wrong and i am racked with guilt because i cannot bear to see you like this and i should have let you rest. i loved you so much that i defied death itself but i do not think either of us are happy

#2006 ass exchange. everything is the same forever

[ojirocardigansniper]

people complaining that any critique of a thing they like ruins it for them is such a skill issue. personally i can spend 10 hours a day critiquing the things i like and still enjoy them passionately and wholeheartedly

#Like yeah.....

[ojirocardigansniper]

CJ The X on Perfectionism

#yeah. ueah. yeah. yeah. love yuo cj #skills

[ojirocardigansniper]

have you defined the meaning of “white woman brain” anywhere and if not, can you? /gen

Many Black and brown feminist writers have discussed this phenomenon and I encourage you to seek out a lot of writing about this subject, because there are a variety of perspectives, but to distill it, white woman fragility brain is a phenomenon that is not exclusive to either white people or to women, but is especially common among those who can weaponize white womanhood, and it consists of the following qualities:

A view of oneself as a helpless victim that is constantly in threat of being attacked, especially by strangers (even though statistically, this is not the case).

A refusal to consider oneself as capable of doing harm to others, especially a lack of consideration toward others' body autonomy or consent. (even while being highly concerned about one's own autonomy and consent).

A generally passive or passive-aggressive orientation toward the world: seeing oneself as a romantic or sexual object to be approached, but never wanting to initiate (or feeling that one never can), never feeling comfortable directly communicating displeasure or one's desires, believing that others instead must guess at it. (and then resenting people when they don't, but never expressing it).

A tendency to cry, excessively berate oneself, complain about being made to feel "unsafe," or give up when criticized or challenged, especially when challenged by people of color.

A tendency to associate a person's body type with how much of a threat they are. For example, feeling unsafe around people with penises and expecting a social space to accommodate that fear to cater to you, a fear of people who come from cultures where it's common to speak loudly, a fear of those who are large, assertive, and/or darker-skinned.

Instinctive fawning-type responses to stress, and a pattern of feigning happiness, agreeability, and ease when one is not genuinely feeling it, and expecting all other people (but especially other women) to feign happiness as well, paired with a deep-seated resentment of anyone who violates this illusion and expresses any negativity (being especially punitive toward women of color).

Instinctively "smoothing over" conflict between other people before it even begins, even when healthy conflict is necessary and not at all your business-- often performed by gossiping behind other people's backs, triangulating information when it is not yours to share, asking people to alter their behavior in order to avoid a reaction from somebody else, presenting your concerns as if they were somebody else's ("what will people think!"), tone-policing the airing of grievances, derailing hard conversations with more light-hearted topics, and excluding people who are known to be candid and assertive.

Here are some articles on elements of the phenomenon and why it is so dangerous:

Now, I single white cis women out a lot when I am describing this phenomenon, because they have the most to gain from exhibiting these qualities, but make no mistake: this is a pattern that many types of people can and do use. I have seen white trans women use white women's tears to silence critique. I have witnessed women of color being passive-aggressively derailed and silenced by a Black manager who was in a position of institutional power over them. Multiple of the women who sexually harassed me in the story linked above were not white. And LORD knows I see plenty of t boys falling back on this shit, as well as cis men from wealthy backgrounds. It's a mindset that has deep colonial roots and we all must be on the look out for it in ourselves and others, and we must be vigilant in uprooting it.

#huh. yeah good way to clump a bunch of noticings together #skills

[ojirocardigansniper]

IG : @emperorofmischief

#WEEPING AND HOWLINGGGG #animals #happy

[ojirocardigansniper]

so sad that people got sick of "doomed by the narrative" and decided it was cringe, because fate and free will in fiction has been a major interest of mine for like eight years, but alas so it goes. anything that gets popular is destined to become reviled in short order. it's like some sort of unstoppable, uncompassionate, avaricious cycle of rising and falling and rising again. like whatever happens, no matter the intentions, it will always result in the same tragic ending. you could almost say it was d

#YEAH ‼️ #hey also Guy who just finished exordia Getting a lot of exordia vibes from this... #doomed by the narrative and also complete inversion Saved And Preserved By The Narrative and yet. not as much free will as youd think #im going to be spinning “we have free will but the truth is you will only ever make the choices YOU would make” in my mind for years ok.

[ojirocardigansniper]

Taking acid while pregnant to awaken my fetus’s consciousness and make it psychic

#gestures helplessly #madame #maybe she did that. we dont know. #ti tags

[ojirocardigansniper]

I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.

Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.

#God

[ojirocardigansniper]

beautiful drawing I saw in the women's bathroom last night at the bar

#hogly shit #fresh off a pof update saluting the clown pussy honk 🫡

[ojirocardigansniper]

yo mama so crumb that strong ants took her away forever

#i for real woke up to this post looping in my brain and now it is on dashboard twelve hours later. spoopy. #hey how is this only two years old also what the f

[ojirocardigansniper]

girlhood is touching your necklace whenever you feel nervous

#ailem #i see corrupted amulet posts you know what i do

[ojirocardigansniper]

#fuh tuh wuh 👍

[ojirocardigansniper]

Princess & the Pawn (Full Comic) An ActiRanger Adventure!

(Bonus page and additional info after the jump)

More info about the ActiRangers/Gambit Gang here and here. Be aware that most of my Actiranger stuff is Adult themed and NSFW!

#FANCY ON DA DASH LETS GOOOO this is so fun.... mwah #comics