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TOGETHER

How long have you been together? D: Jheisson and I have been together for ten years. We met in middle school and we’ve been together ever since. How would you describe your relationship with each other? J: I think we’re both different – Daisia’s more artistic whereas I’m more of the outdoors-y type but I think our differences work very well together. It’s like the best of both worlds. D: We pretty much never fight; and if we do, it’s usually about dumb small things that we can resolve quickly. I just really think we work well together.

What is your view on love?

J: Our take on it is, if you can’t stand to be more than a couple of hours away from them then you have a strong connection. I think that’s really important when you love someone because you can have a physical connection with anyone, that emotional connection is where love comes from.

What makes your relationship unique? D: I think we’re both insane [laughs]. We’ve been together for so long, and not many people in this life can get it right the first time. That’s something I think we nailed, getting it right. I know we did.

What do you think is the foundation of your relationship? D: I think from the get-go we were always comfortable with being silly and weird with each other, and that’s very much still the case with us. J: I feel like other people would be embarrassed with how silly we are, especially in public, but we just work so well that it’s something we both find funny and it’s just something we do for each other.

JHEISSON

How does Daisia make you feel? She makes me feel really special. It’s so nice knowing that there’s a person out there that knows you so well and loves you for it.

How has your view on love changed since you were a child? When I was younger, I used to be a hopeless romantic. When Daisia and I got together, I would write her poems and songs. I would get her flowers, plan dates and big gestures but I don’t do that very much anymore; I’m more laid back because “I got the girl”. I want to start doing more of those things again because it’s what made her fall in love with me in the first place, you know?

When was a recent moment where you felt a lot of love for Daisia? It’s nice knowing that I can make big decisions with her and feel safe doing it. For example, last week we went to the pet store to just pick up dog food for our pug and she asked me if I wanted to get some fish for our home. I agreed and now we have this beautiful aquarium that we made. It makes me love how committed she is to something that is so spur of the moment, that we can be impulsive like that and be really happy with the end result.

Where do you think you and your person differ on how you view and express love? When she’s upset, she kind of shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about the situation. I understand that she’s allowed to want that, and I understand why she does it, but I still don’t like it and wish she’d want to open up about whatever’s bothering her. I care and love her and don’t really want to see her upset. I want to try to solve is as much as I can, but she just shuts down. That’s where we differ, we don’t really have anything else that is bigger than that. And that is a minor issue for us. She knows I just want to be there for her. It’s hard but in the end, we work through it and I understand.

Is it important to have the same view as your partner or do you think you’ve found a way that works well despite differences in perspective?

Daisia likes to go out a lot more than I do. She likes to get dressed up and go to things, whereas I would just prefer to do something low key. I really like doing outdoors-y things with her; I know it’s not something she really enjoys but I know she does it for me, just like how I go out and do things for her and with her. I’m really into cycling right now. I got her a bike when we lived in Maryland and she never rode it or really wanted to. It hurt me a little because I want to be able to do something that I enjoy with her but I’m thinking of making her a bike or something like that to really try and push her to do that with me. I think it’s normal and more than okay for people to have different views on love and be able to make it work in their relationship.

DAISIA

How does Jheisson make you feel? He makes me feel so special, like I’m the center of his world.

How has your view on romance changed from when you were a child? Growing up with my mom and stepdad – they did not have the best relationship, so I knew that I didn’t want to end up like them or have a relationship like that at all. When Jheisson and I got together, he really wanted to take care of me and do things like hold the door open for me, things like that. I was so used to doing things for myself back then, so I would tell him that I didn’t need that and I feel bad for doing that because it was really just him trying to take care of me. He still does those things now but it’s a lot more laid back than it was before. I definitely know to appreciate those things now and know what I have is a good thing.

When was a recent moment where you felt a lot of love for Jheisson? Honestly? I feel that every day when I wake up next to him. When we wake up, he always makes sure to kiss me or to tell me that he loves me. He has the mentality that we don’t know what could happen during the day – he always wants to make sure that I know that he loves me so that if those were his last words to me, he’d be happy with it. Every time I spend time with him, he makes me feel like I’m falling in love all over again. So yeah, I really always feel that way about Jheisson.

Where do you think you and your person differ on how you view and express love? I get really quiet and I refuse to talk about how I feel when I’m upset. I know he understands that and can give me that space, but I know he still doesn’t particularly like that I do that. We’ve been together for so long now that he knows I’m not trying to hurt him when it happens. It’s just the way that I am, and he’s really learned that it doesn’t need affect our relationship at all – it’s just something we’ve accepted.

Is it important to have the same view as your partner or do you think you’ve found a way that works well despite differences in perspective? I think it’s okay to have a different perspective on love and still be together. My dad has been with this woman for a while now and my dad really hates smoking; and while she doesn’t smoke a pack a day or anything, she still will smoke daily, and it doesn’t bother him very much anymore. I think it’s a compromise with yourself. If you care enough about someone and love them for more reasons than what bother you or you can look past the things that bother you about someone enough to be with them, then that’s all that matters.

(9.18)

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