“We’re told that forgiveness is for our benefit. That we’ll never move forward without it; that our compassion and empathy is necessary to heal wounds. I’ve come to a different conclusion: Forgiveness is a racket. A uniquely feminized scam to ensure the oppressed and mistreated redirect their anger inward instead of at those who have wronged them. (When it comes to harms like discrimination or sexual violence, it’s also a clever way to make a systemic issue an individual problem.) In a world that tells women we’re overreacting—or gaslights us into doubting our own experiences—resentment can be a radical act. Refusing to forgive acknowledges just how deep your hurt really is: When the people around you want you to just move on or let it go, your fury honors what really happened. Sometimes that feeling is the only “proof” we have.”
— Against Forgiveness - by Jessica Valenti - All in Her Head by Jessica Valenti