ptsd-phoenix

[ptsd-phoenix]

I saw my abuser today and I didn't feel fear. All I thought was: damn you're ugly. Which I feel bad for thinking that but it's probably a representation of being disgusted with him as a person. Cause nornally I never think people look ugly. I felt he looked pretty weak and kinda pathetic. Just some dude.

#phoenix posts non poetry

[ptsd-phoenix]

And I am all you want so you just take me even if I am not yours to take

#traumacore #actuallytraumatized #actuallyabused #actuallyptsd #poetry #abuse survivor #ptsd #phoenix posts poetry #poetry from the past #tw sa

[ptsd-phoenix]

I wish I could tell you how much longer things are going to be like this. But I can’t. What I can tell you is that you are going to make it. You’re going to make it through.

[ptsd-phoenix]

late night reminder to anyone who needs it to not break your “no contact” if you have one

[ptsd-phoenix]

not everyone that looks like you is you or else you’d be everywhere at once

#actuallytraumatized #traumacore #actuallyabused #actuallyptsd #abuse survivor #poetry #ptsd #phoenix posts poetry #poetry from the past

[ptsd-phoenix]

[ptsd-phoenix]

[ptsd-phoenix]

Self love is not always easy. It can be challenging and not fun at the time, but your future self will thank you!

Chibird store | Positive pin club | Instagram

[ptsd-phoenix]

25 april 2024 trauma vent

I hate the feeling of being triggered. I hate the physical sensations in my body. The emotions. Often I just feel like screaming. The animalistic urge to claw around me. Yet at the same time to hide in a burrow.

What triggered me? Often I can't even really tell. I guess often I also can. Sometimes it's really brief and easily forgotten. Easy ro bring yourself back into present day. Easy to fofus on the task at hand. Easy to see the reality of things. Other times it keeps going on and seems never ending.

That black leather jacket didn't even look like his. It was a different design. But it's a black leather jacket. It scares the fuck out of me. It feels like his body is inside that jacket. Even though the man wearing it looks nothing like him. Even if the jacket is placed on the counter at my job for me to scan at the register. Nobody is wearing it, but it feels like his presence lingers within that object.

I guess it makes sense. How often did he wear that jacket while hurting you? You recognize the squeeking of the leather. The feeling of it. The smell. Seeing that jacket might as well be like seeing him.

But then you realise you're in the store. Those images flashing by aren't hapenning right now. The man wearing that jacket has never seen you in his life. He's just purchasing something at the store you work at. And you wish him a good day.

#phoenix posts non poetry #phoenix trauma vent

[ptsd-phoenix]

In case you forgot, social media isn’t real. Theres no need to compare yourself to internet personas, pixels, and false realities. Your life is valuable beyond a screen. Make choices that bring you happiness and peace. Log out. Go feel the sun.

[ptsd-phoenix]

In case you need direct permission,

You are allowed to be angry about what happened to you!

You are allowed to be angry that they hurt you!

You are allowed to be angry!

Okay? Okay

[ptsd-phoenix]

[ptsd-phoenix]

[ptsd-phoenix]

[ptsd-phoenix]

"they're a minor" "they're just a kid" being a minor isn't an excuse to abuse and traumatize people, dumbass. you're too focused on the fact that they're a kid and not holding them accountable instead of paying attention to the person who they hurt.

minors are just as capable of abusing other minors and even adults like anyone else. but this shit is always glossed over because "they're just a kid"

and just because someone is older doesn't mean that they're not capable of being abused by someone younger.

[ptsd-phoenix]

it’s trauma. you didn’t ask for it. you didn’t deserve it. anger is a normal response. don’t stifle your feelings. be angry and use that anger to take back your life because that’s how you’re going to heal.

[ptsd-phoenix]

If you grew or are growing up with a family member who did or does Bad/Abusive Things and was, objectively, a Bad/Abusive Person and were ever compared to them, or told you acted like them, or warned that you were becoming them, please take this and hold it in your heart as much as you can.

Any shared characteristics and behaviors, ‘good’ or ‘bad’ do not make you that person. You are your own person with your own path and choices.

Not cleaning your room does not make you that person. Getting angry does not make you that person. Liking the same things does not make you that person. Even looking like them does not make you that person. You are not them. You are fully yourself.

And, in the same vein, if you find yourself behaving in ways that might feel ‘Bad’ or harmful to others, you have the right and the choice to get help to find your way back from that point.

Nothing is enviable, and you are your own person with your own path.