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✫stan, eric and kenny with kitchen witch reader headcanons✫

a/n: kyle one!! finally got to other boys. there's a liiittle bit of suggestive theme and drug joke in kenny one. characters are aged up, reader is gender neutral

stan marsh

doesn't really care about you being a kitchen witch, be who you want to be, believe in what you want to believe

making him special coffee/tea every morning

he started to hate waking up early a bit less (or maybe it's just you being by his side)

he's a kisser, he's a hugger, so expect at least one kiss on a cheek while you cook (will not hug you when you do this without consent tho)

s o u p

make him soup

or make soup with him together, that's nice too

with something silly like veggies in shape of something or just chicken and star soup

you two sometimes fight about who's making breakfast today, but you know, this is not serious of course (either way you win even if he's the one cooking it for the most part)

helps you carve or burn sigils in spoons and things

i'd say he needs the same thing as kyle, something with anti-anxiety spell, but also something that generally will help him with sleep

eric cartman

you probably picked him up by making something with a love spell (it would be funnier if it was blood love spell with espresso, but it would work better with a cake)

lmao, you didn't even have to put a spell on it, he's probably hooked just by your cooking

if you tell him about the fact that you're a witch he'd act like this all is total bullshit, but then ask if you can make something poisonous (of course you can, but it doesn't have to do anything with you been a kitchen witch) or with a curse ((don't fucking do it, though he loves you, it doesn't mean he will not turn you in to cops if something goes wrong i didn't tell you this))

prefers your pastry, but basically loves everything you make

likes looking at you while you cook (will not help you)

even more curious about sigils than kyle

but in the way that he doesn't really trust you (don't blame him, there's a lot of reasons for him to not trust people)

making sigils with eric, so he knows for sure meaning of them

tbh he's really impatient when it comes to you cooking, he doesn't understand why you prefer to take your time with cooking even if you can make it faster and doesn't listen when you explain

at least it looks like it

can bring up something you said later and it kind of surprises you

tries to be less bitchy with you later on

definitely asks you to make something for him with specific sigil for it

kenny mccormick

if you will not make him kfc wings recreation, i will haunt you in your dreams

doesn't really have a preference in your cooking

kenny is most likely the only one of main 4 to remember everything you say about witchery (he's just generally a good listener i think)

would make some type of sigil for shits and giggles (maybe literally)

love spells with emphasis on better sex life aren't needed, lol, but he would totally ask you for this as part of roleplay

ate all your donuts with sugar powder and tried to get away with it by saying that powder on his clothes is cocaine

if you cook together, he will always be distracted by your beauty, sometimes it's better to just let him sit in the kitchen with you

really likes how aprons look on you

so yeah another reason to wear them

any kind spell will do, boy needs more nice things in his life

making forever weed brownies together <3

a/n: honestly, i thought i will never write anything for kenny. wow. cool. we'll see, maybe i will make one with girls or butters/marjorine idkidk

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x y/n #stan marsh x you #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman x y/n #eric cartman x you #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny mccormick x y/n #kenny mccormick x you

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stan's a dirty hippie. and you know what? good for him

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poly kyle x reader x stan headcanons [part II]

a/n: kind of feeling like coming back...kind of. i just still have some silly ideas to try and write. but it's just some random headcanons with my favorite boys for now. you can check out part 1 if you want

characters are aged up, romantic relationship, reader is gender neutral blahblahblah

☾ probably sometimes you all are cooking together

☽ ...and usually it gets messy as fuck (three people in a kitchen, what did you expect?)

☾ kyle would try to make some type of plan for your cooking together and tame you and stan but of course fails miserably

☽ and then you clean the kitchen together

☾ kyle may be a bit bitchy about it and mumble something about how room would be spotless if he was cooking alone (it would not)

☽ anyway that was the best soup or whatever you imagined

☾ if we still talking about cooking, stan is mostly the one to make breakfast and kyle is the one to make launch or dinner

☽ if you had date with just one of them you'll have to go with other one next time 'cause neither of them can handle feeling "less loved"

☾ hand.......holding............

☽ if you happen to be in the middle both of your hands are occupied by theirs and it just feels nice y'know

☾ hehe hands...warm

☽ but to be honest y'all prefer to make a little circle if you're just sitting at home so you three can hold hands together and like. each hand is held. lovely

☾ put on the lipstick and kiss those silly boys' faces they will explode

☽ kyle especially loves the look of lipstick marks

☾ OKAYOKAY but if you made shirt with collar with painted on lipstick marks he will wear it (maybe not in public, but still)

☽ stan is just happy to be kissed by you, to have your attention

☾ he thinks lipstick marks look cute (would do the same with you if you let him, because he thinks they would look even cuter on you)

☽ late night kitchen wedding with those juice box rings

☾ kyle says it's stupid

☽ it is.

☾ but he doesn't say this to offend you, okay? (but i do /j)

☽ it started because stan put that "ring" on your finger btw

☾ kyle drags you and stan to the bed right after your silly wedding is ended even though neither you nor stan wants to sleep yet

☽ hehe sneaking out of bed with stan after kyle falls asleep to eat badly cooked frozen pizza together or something

☾ you two will regret sleepless night

☽ probably because kyle will totally constantly remind you two that you should've slept at night

☾ still, if you and stan will fall asleep in some place, kyle wouldn't wake you two up until he has to

☽ he will be beside you if you're in public, he doesn't want you to get in danger because of your fucked up sleep schedule

☾ and if you and stan fall asleep at home on the couch for example, kyle will sometimes join, boy needs rest too

a/n: it's not a lot, but it's honest work...

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle broflovski x you #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh x y/n #stan marsh x you

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oh my god i left this account without supervision

#rat squeaks #changed somethings a little bit #the ones that i was to stupid to change when i made this acc

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The concept of post covid merch is pretty funny to me like, just the idea of being excited to buy a plushie of a 47 year old man

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who wanna be the

to my

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hi tumblr

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end of suffering

a/n: i actually wrote part 2 to this shit. wow. i still can't make normal titles, yep. kyle is almost typical yandere here, you have another love interest, don't throw rocks at me, ow oUCH.

the action takes place in the last year of highschool

kyle commits suicide in the end, so please don't read if that triggers you.

barely proofread

after all this time hiding feelings to you, kyle decided that day was the day he'd confess to you.

he found you in empty halls, that was his best opportunity. a bit nervous he approached you. after the usual greetings and standing in silence for some time, kyle spoke "listen, i have something important to tell you" you raised an eyebrow "you know, i love you, loved you for a long time..."

this caught you off guard. you listened to him telling about every little thing he loves about you with worried look. you had to stop him, you knew you couldn't return his feelings and stood there thinking how should you answer so you don't sound harsh and couldn't find anything better to say at that moment than "kyle, i'm sorry, i-" he stopped, all hope that was left in him was already washed away by these words, but you weren't done "i already have someone else i like" that wasn't the best thing you could say to him really, you tried to smooth it out a bit by continuing with "but you are one of the best people i know, kyle, i'm sure one day you will find someone who will love you as much as you do"

kyle's rage caused by rejection has already combined with jealousy, but your last words were just too sweet. he had very mixed feelings now. and kyle hated this in you, even if you hurt him, you still were nice. too nice.

and still he didn't want just someone who would love him, he wanted you

⋆

months passed after kyle confessed to you. you already were with the one you loved the most. it seemed like kyle didn't even care about you rejecting him, you still were good friends, but you didn't know what he was hiding from you.

his mind actually was flooded by thoughts of killing your partner and making you his and dreams of just you two being happy together.

while acting like your new relationship wasn't something that annoyed him at the least and even trying to become friends with your partner, he planned the murder.

everything was ready, kyle already convinced your partner to meet at the place where it's rare to be a lot of people there. perfect chance.

yet when kyle finally got it, he understood he couldn't do that.

kyle was going to the place where he and your partner were supposed to meet up, hand were already holding on knife in his pocket tightly, but suddenly kyle felt like he was woken up. stopping on his way kyle thought about you, how would you feel. he didn't want anything bad ever happening to you, didn't want you to ever feel down and most importantly, he didn't want you to hate him. kyle just decided to go back home and the next day gave some stupid excuse why he didn't show up.

⋆

kyle didn't ever put away the knife. it always was in his pocket since that day. and one day he found that same knife. while he was holding it, looking at it, his head now was starting to fill with thoughts of how bad of a person he was. coupled with his obsession with you it was getting him to what he thought was the only right way to end his suffering.

freemont bridge.

the day when kyle was going to end his life he didn't talk to anyone, didn't tell anyone where he was going and what he was going to do. he didn't even text last words to you, nothing. he knew it only would hurt you.

standing at the top of the bridge, he had his last look. kyle didn't even think about changing his mind for a second. it was his last chance to find peace.

kyle jumped.

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle broflovski x you

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Not so long distance

Kyle x reader

(All characters are 18+)

Warning: nothing, fluffffffffff

A/N: Angie come back?? Idk maybe, inspiration for this hit randomly anyways hiii<3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

You and Kyle had been dating for a year before you moved away for college. It was a hard decision but both you and Kyle knew that the opportunities you were being offered were to good to be turned down.

Saying goodbye was the worst part about it but eventually you both quickly got used to the distance. Time zones were a challenge at first but you guys found ways around it. Everyday you guys would text and call for hours, you would fall asleep on call, and wake up to sweet good morning messages from him.

Today felt different for some reason, he sent you the usual good morning text but after that it was radio silence. It made you nervous but you assumed he was just busy for the day, Kyle did always bury himself in work.

You sighed as you stared at the still unread text you had sent him hours ago. You put your phone down and throw yourself onto your pillow. For the first time during your long distance relationship you felt lonely. Grabbing one of your extra pillows you cling onto it and close your eyes wishing it could be your boyfriend, you hadn’t realized how much you truly missed him until now.

Knock, knock

You sit up confused, it was late why would your roommate be knocking now?

Knock, knock

“Hey um Y/N, there’s someone here looking for you”

Your eyes widen as you shoot up from bed and open your room, “Who??”

“I don’t know some dude, he’s in the living room” You nod as you walk over to the living room.

You freeze as you notice those familiar fiery red curls, that gorgeous hooked nose littered in freckles, and mesmerizing hazel eyes. “Kyle?!?” Your voice is shaky as you run over to him. He stands up as soon as he sees you and runs to you, meeting you in the middle. “Y/n, I’ve missed you so much” Kyle grins as he squeezed you hard. “I’ve missed you too Ky” you sniffed as happy tears ran down your cheeks. “Oh sweetheart why are you crying?” “I’m just so happy, I can’t believe you flew over here.”

“Of course I did darling,” He caressed your cheek with his thumb softly. “And I have some news.” You cocked your head to the side curiously. “I’m moving over here Y/n, we don’t have to be long distance anymore”.

You’re jaw dropped in disbelief, “Are you serious?? You’re not kidding are you??” “Not at all, I’ve been planning this since you left and now I finally have enough money to stay and get an apartment big enough for the both of us!” Kyle grinned widely. “That’s amazing!! Oh I’m so excited!!” You smiled.

“I was getting sick of this long distance shit” He chuckled, “Well no need to worry about that now hun, we’re both together again”

“Yeah and I’m never letting you leave me again” He chuckled again as he pulled you into a sweet kiss. Oh how you’ve missed him, but now that you had him here with you everything was perfect again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ✧˖°.

#i'm going to explode rn #literally crying LITERALLY #that's so good so sweet i can't

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Hey Guys,

When your celebrating tonight, watching fireworks and having fun just remember...

These two are probably in jail some where.

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i think

i think it belongs here

#south park #kyle broflovski #sp kyle #rat scribbles

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they’re definitely checking each other out

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Happy birthday to the original ADHD vs Autism

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✫kyle x kitchen witch reader headcanons✫

a/n: i wanted to write main 4 and butters, but then BOOM i'm not in the mood at all and this is sitting in the drafts for like- 2 weeks. yeah, it's not much but at least something. idk, i will try to finish writing other boys, can't promise anything though

kyle would find it a bit strange at first when you'd tell him, but wouldn't say that 'cause, y'know, he's happy as long as you're

he doesn't really believe in things like this, but again, look at the end of the first sentence

kyle trusts you so he wasn't too concerned about you poisoning him or something

he loves your cooking actually

he's also incredibly honored if you make something for him specifically

if you're running out of herbs kyle would totally go through every possible shop to find what you need (or it could be any needed product really)

would send you pictures to make sure it's the right ones

when you cook something, kyle really wants to help you with it, but most of the times you won't let him, because you want to show all your love to him by cooking

still, please let him help (he literally feels like he's going to explode everytime you don't)

or at least consider him hugging you from behind idk

asks about meanings of sigils that you draw in pie crusts or carve in bread (or even the ones that are burned in wooden spoons if you did that)

...make him something that works like anti-anxiety spell...please (kyle tends to overwork and it gets him stressed as fuck, so that would be nice)

wouldn't admit it, but kind of starts to believe in the fact that spells are working eventually

#south park x reader #south park x y/n #south park x you #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski x y/n #kyle broflovski x you

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based off @lordcringe ‘s silly meme they made 😁

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kyle physically abuses and rage screams into his pillow nightly. rb if you agree

#real.

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Reblog to give your mutuals a kissy kiss.