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self care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes and slaps you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks

#reality isn't so kind / musings #( THIS IS QUITE LITERALLY THE PLOT OF THE GAME )

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So. where did i go? a not-so-brief explanation of the last 7-ish months

i promise this won’t be as depressing as it sounds. everything is alright and so am i!

back in the beginning of the summer, i announced a semi hiatus on here, and that quickly turned into a full out hiatus. i kind of knew it was going to come to that, but... i really didn’t want to admit it. i love squall very much, but at that point? he and final fantasy had been the only thing i’d been writing and plotting for almost a year straight. and despite my passion for the series and the character? i was feeling the burnout. really badly.

but again, i didn’t want to admit it. i was worried people would think my love was dwindling, or would think badly of me for stepping back. ‘hiatus’ always felt like there was a sort of stigma to it, and... i was afraid of that and having it attached to me. so i just kinda let this fall to the side. logging in even sporadically became a chore because i felt like i HAD to be active. and frankly, thats no ones fault but my own self imposed fears.

so i fully took a few steps back. i pursued other fandoms to write in, other muses to stretch my writing skills, and just learned to relax. i let go of a lot of my old anxieties with this hobby, and i’ve spent the last few months learning exactly what my boundaries with this hobby are. and thanks to that, i think i’m super ready to come back to my boy. cuz honestly, i’ve missed him so so badly.

that said, things will be a bit different. namely?

squall isn’t my main blog at this point in time. i’ve got a couple multimuses that have more of my attention right now, and if youre interested i’ll happily give them to you!

ive pruned down.... almost 3/4s of my follower count. ive realized im a writer who likes a smaller circle, so ill be very VERY choosy this time around. for my own comfort and nothing more, nothing less.

ill be slow. hopefully not SUPER slow, but i think im far better at tackling actual threads now. 

gonna do an overhaul of my rules and icons and such. itll be sexy.

tldr;

i bounced cuz i was tired. and now i’m not. to everyone who stuck it out and is still following me and still would wanna write with me? thank you. seriously. your patience is everything to me

if we had old relations/plotting you wanna dive back into? lmk! if you wanna start from scratch or youre new here? also lmk! 

sorry this got long, but if you read it all the way, thank you again

#out of time / ooc

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HELLO... does everyone remember me... its been awhile!!!!

#Out of time / OOC #( CAUTIOUSLY CREEPS ONTO THE DASH.... how has everyone been!! ) #( im gonna type out a long ass post explaining my long absence but. i Live )

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My internets been out so I haven’t been able to be here OR play the remaster yet, but I finally got this project done on me in celebration and I could not be happier with the results!!! Here’s to everything this game has meant and brought to me 💕🦁⚔️

#out of time / ooc #( ive been planning this for SO LONG and im so happy i ended up getting it done right around the release!! )

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Gives him an extra special flower crown.

It’s very pretty! It brings a wider smile to his face than usual, the varying colours and sizes of the flowers tied together the prettiest he’s seen.

#asks #flower crown anon saga #( you send these so fast after im online.. are u just Waiting omg ) #Anonymous

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what she has in hand is something quaint. wrapped with soft, pale green tissue paper ( which took her longer than desired to source ) & a little pink ribbon, similar to her own. within, a surprise. a carving of the lion he wore so proudly, though slightly wonky. it is not without flaws as it is made by her own hand, having spent months trying to learn from those in midgar and people passing through. she's not a master woodcarver, but it's a start. more importantly, it's his. " happy birthday! "

The ribbon catches his eye first, pushed gently into his vision as he drags the whetstone over his blade. It’s enough to make him pause his work, placing it all to the side in favour of wordlessly taking it into his hands. He knows what day it is; he doesn’t remember telling her. He probably just forgot.

Carefully, Squall removes the ribbon with delicate hand, almost hesitant to damage her handiwork. When he pulls it out of the wrapping into vision, his eyes widen with a gasp.

It’s perfect. Not in practice, of course, the knicks and scratches and difficulties of amateur craft are plain to see throughout the whole thing, but that doesn’t matter. It’s perfect to him; the same way Aeris is. He stays still a moment, just staring at it as he rubs his thumb over the ridges and edges, memorizing it’s feeling, before he turns to her.

“I... Thank you.” Taking the carving into one hand, he reaches with his other to pull her into a soft, slow kiss.

“Didn’t know you knew.”

#asks #v; gunblades and roses #the holiest of lights and the shadow that follows / castholy #( THEM! ) #castholy

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kisses his cheek for his birthday

He scrunches his face a moment, but it does nothing to detract from the way he leans into the gesture, tilting his head upward to allow room for Seifer to do so.

“Tell me that’s not all I’m worth to you on this day.”

#asks #mirror halves of the same soul / hyperionized #v; lion's origins #( HES BEING A BRAT! HE LOVES U SEIFER N HES GRATEFUL ) #hyperionized

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Today is his birthday! He’s not going to say anything, though. He knows his friends, and how dramatic they’ll all be if he even so much as HINTS he wants some acknowledgement of it.

Something small might be nice, though...

#( open for mutuals? i do these now ) #( HELLO RUSHES TO POST THIS BEFORE WORK!!!!!!!!!! IMPORTANT ) #( ive missed so many muse bdays before but i WONT MISS MY LITTLE BOYS!!!! ) #( ill be on later hope yall r doin good!!! )

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❛ none could challenge us . ❜ (my first thought was him trying to convince Squall to join him serving Ultimecia)

None could’ve, if you’d stuck around.

He chews his tongue to keep from saying that, knowing it won’t do a damn lick of good. He’s beyond reason, beyond any convincing, if he really thinks he can bring Squall to his side.

Her side. It’s not his, he knows this now. After all, when had the Seifer he’d known wasted time trying to barter with him? Something was well and truly wrong if he was even toying the notion of dragging his rival into this crusade.

That, was a thought pattern he’d never known in Seifer.

“I thought you liked a challenge. What happened to that?”

#asks #v; lion's origins #( wrow am i rusty ) #hyperionized

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tough & soft repost & bold whichever applies to your muse !

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TOUGH SHELL

bruised knuckles.  bloody noses.  eye rolling.  empty beer bottles.  messy hair.  sarcasm.  lip biting.  unwashed jeans.  coffee breath.  loud music.  broken neon signs. chipped nail polish.  leather jackets.  always wearing headphones. swearing.  sneaking out at 3am.  dark lipstick.  frown creases.  burning cigarettes. plaid shirts.  under eye circles.  dark colours.

SOFT INSIDE

honey tea.  flower crowns.  giggling.  blowing kisses.  dancing without worries.  white lace.  soft textures. fluffy throw pillows.  using too many heart emojis.  empathy. constant daydreaming.  handwritten letters. fairy lights.  bullet journals. designated driver.  warm hugs.  garden picnics.  quiet. smile lines. optimism. flowy clothes. pastel colours.

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Tagged by:  @runexxknight ! ty <3 Tagging: @guiltscorched @isolov @hyperionized @lightkindled

#triple triad / tag games

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❥     𝐁𝐈𝐓  𝐓𝐇𝐄  𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐃  𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓  𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐓  𝐘𝐎𝐔  ,  𝐀  𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄  𝐎𝐅  𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐒  𝐒𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄   𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐑  .

i revised my first two memes into one —     things ramsay bolton from got has said! tw for mature themes, violence, ect.     adjust as you please!

❛  if  you  think  this  has  a  happy  ending  ,  you  haven’t  been  paying  attention  .  ❜ ❛  say  please  again  ,  and  you’ll  wish  you  hadn’t  .  ❜ ❛  you  forgot  to  ask  if  i’m  a  lair  .  ❜ ❛  everything  i  told  you  ,  is  a  lie  .  ❜ ❛  this  isn’t  happening  to  you  for  a  reason  .  ❜ ❛  this  is  mercy  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  no  good  to  me  dead  .  ❜ ❛  oh  sweet  ,  don’t  cry  .  it  will  be  over  soon  .  ❜ ❛  you  can  see  that  your  presence  has  become  a  bit  of  a  problem  .  ❜ ❛  this  is  turning  into  a  lovely  evening  .  ❜ ❛  those  creatures  who  came  in  the  night  ,  they  wanted  to  take  you  away  .  ❜ ❛  you  remained  loyal  .  ❜ ❛  you  will  collapse  under  your  proud  weight  and  slump  into  a  heap  of  nothing  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  mine  ,  until  you’re  rotting  in  the  ground  .  ❜ ❛  remember  what  you  are  ,  and  what  you’re  not  .  ❜ ❛  you’re  not  lying  to  me  ?  ❜ ❛  we  should  be  honest  with  each  other  ,  don’t  you  think  ?  ❜ ❛  do  i  need  to  ask  a  second  time  ?  i  hate  asking  a  second  time  .  ❜ ❛  do  you  know  how  pleased  i  was  when  i  saw  you  ?  ❜ ❛  you’ve  made  me  very  happy  .  ❜ ❛  bastards  can  rise  high  in  the  world  .  ❜ ❛  everyone  was  already  afraid  of  me  .  ❜ ❛  your  pain  will  be  paid  for  a  thousand  times  over  .  ❜ ❛  none  could  challenge  us  .  ❜ ❛  so  now  you  come  seeking  help  .  ❜ ❛  do  you  know  who  i  am  ?  ❜ ❛  what  use  could  i  possibly  have  for  you  ?  ❜ ❛  you’re  a  good  talker  .  i  like  that  .  ❜ ❛  no  ,  you  have  to  run  remember  ?  those  are  the  rules  .  ❜ ❛  i  think  that  sounds  like  a  wonderful  idea  .  ❜ ❛  our  time  together  is  about  to  come  to  an  end  .  ❜ ❛  you  can’t  kill  me  .  i’m  a  part  of  you  now  .  ❜

#( alright my break did me good and i feel refreshed. throw urself at squally bean )

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“You are at once both the quiet and the confusion of my heart.”

— Franz Kafka, Letters To Felice (via thequotejournals)

#mirror halves of the same soul / hyperionized

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quick PSA that I'm kinda taking a small step back from this blog rn? I don't wanna say semi hiatus but that might be accurate. I'm not disinterested in writing here or with anyone, I'm just a bit oversaturated and need a change of pace fandom wise for a little bit, to keep me interested and not worn out completely.

I'm still trying to keep up with threads when I'm not busy (afaik I'm caught up but if I've forgotten a reply PLS lmk!!) but I'm avoiding taking on any new unplotted threads, because I mostly just have muse and motive for discussed things, cuz that's what REALLY makes me most excited about this hobby.

So if I seem a little quiet here for a bit, that's why! I hope everyone's doing well 💗💗

#( uwu )

[revolverized]

quick PSA that I'm kinda taking a small step back from this blog rn? I don't wanna say semi hiatus but that might be accurate. I'm not disinterested in writing here or with anyone, I'm just a bit oversaturated and need a change of pace fandom wise for a little bit, to keep me interested and not worn out completely.

I'm still trying to keep up with threads when I'm not busy (afaik I'm caught up but if I've forgotten a reply PLS lmk!!) but I'm avoiding taking on any new unplotted threads, because I mostly just have muse and motive for discussed things, cuz that's what REALLY makes me most excited about this hobby.

So if I seem a little quiet here for a bit, that's why! I hope everyone's doing well 💗💗

#out of time / ooc #( saying hiatus feels like it has bad connotations but? oh well ) #( furthermore im easier to reach on discord so if u wanna write or plot with me there hmu!! )

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hi there! it’s me, enna. i’m bringing to you today an important post regarding my commissions. now, i try to keep this blog strictly for the icons and updates, however things aren’t looking too bright for me at the moment. my job isn’t giving me the extra hours that i need to move away from the minimum living wage i’m currently experiencing. this means i’m earning just enough to pay my rent, and i have to then choose what bills to pay & if i can do a food shop that month. and right now, i’ve had to make a few choices like that. the remaining money i had for bills had to go onto a small food shop, which still won’t last me the month – probably a week and a half tops as it’s not just me i’m buying for.

so naturally, this is where my commissions come in. i rely on this as a secondary income, hence the low cost, low pressure & essentially, just me doing whatever i can. i have to rely solely on this for the rest of the month, this is going to be my only means of making money to do food shopping and trying to pay the lurking-in-the-horizon bills.

so as of now, my icon commissions are uncapped. the rules still apply & the prices are the same:–

$8 for 100 base icons $10 for coloured / lightened icons $15 for fully edited icons ( that will have a custom psd used only for you )

i am also opening up to theme commissions. note, i am not a fantastic theme maker and i am still learning. themes are $10 and will include the code and a background. i have no static examples, only two live examples at castholy and forgallowmere.

you can also support me on patreon where i will be adding more tier options in the future & ko-fi. if you’d like to help me out through paypal, you can send me a message & i’ll respond. reblogs are very much appreciated, thank you so much.

— enna.

#( pwease consider commissioning my friend ) #( ive gotten so much from them and would get so much more if i could )

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Everybody has that one partner where every thread turns into

#( me. im the partner. it me )

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friendly reminder that even if i take ages to reply, i still want to roleplay with you