ricky-najjar
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Aren't you?
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The Professor
I think every student has that one professor who changed their perspectives in life, for me that was Dr. Daniel Barnes. When I signed up for his class, I had heard the rumors of a cynical professor who tortured history-loving students out of the program. Instead of hiding in the background, I stood up to the challenge and insisted on being noticed. One day in particular we were in the middle of discussing what was considered progressive ideas in a museum setting. What was considered going too far? Was it right to display a gun replica where Kennedy was assassinated? Were the thousands of shoes once owned by Holocaust victims too much for the public to see? A few students said yes, the initial shock values of these artifacts was not worth ruining the overall experience of the trip. Some even pointed out that it’s profiting over a tragedy. I think I was the only one who agreed with him that day…
“Then what are we doing here? We call ourselves educators to the public and here we are saying we need to hide it. Let’s just pretend that Kennedy wasn’t shot, or Lincoln for that matter! Six million Jewish citizens died but not in vain! We can’t rewrite history, we can only learn from it. We’re only hurting the missions of these museums if we only show things that are considered safe.”
All Dr. Barnes did was smile before he continued on with the rest of the lecture. My heart was beating so fast, I was convinced I said something wrong at that point. When it was over I handed him my weekly assignment like always and he stopped me…
“It’s refreshing to see someone challenge the majority.”
“Well what’s the point of going to a museum if you’re going to hide what really happened?”
He took my paper back and slid on his oversized glasses before reading over it again.
“Well researched, I love that you picked the pieces of rope that were used to kill the Lincoln Conspirators as your focal point. You get it, we can’t just sugar-coat history to our personal agendas. Out of all my first-years, you seem to be the only one who is on track. Do you have an advisor yet?”
This is how I became the fifth student to study under Dr. Daniel Barnes. It was his guidance that allowed me to be successful in my field.
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Historical Encounters - Mary Surratt
“Is it appropriate to eat while being filmed?”
The camera was centered on a table, displayed in front of the two men were an array of sushi plates, a bottle of sake, and a few candles lit to give off some kind of light. In the background, the restaurant's logo “Wok and Roll” was displayed, a condition the owners requested they had in order to film on site. It was pitch black outside, the only way they could film undisturbed is if they waited til 3AM, after hours for this booming place. Ricky started to pour himself some of the sake while Jared continued to eat.
“Welcome back to another video! Today Jared and I are at Wok and Roll, a popular Japanese restaurant and karaoke bar located in the heart of Washington D.C.’s Chinatown neighborhood. So what might we be doing here you may ask? Well this place is inside what was formerly known as Mary Surratt’s Boarding House. Who was this woman you may ask? I’ll let Jared take over that one…”
Jared quickly swallowed the last little bit of sushi he had before placing his chopsticks neatly back down on his napkin. Ricky took this opportunity to try out the sushi as he spoke.
“Ah well what we got here is the woman who housed the conspirators responsible for Lincoln’s assassination. Mary Surratt, along with John Wilkes Booth, David Herold, Lewis Powell and George Aztreodt among a few others met here to design exactly how they were going to take down not only Lincoln, but his whole entourage. For all we know Ricky, you and I could be sitting where John Wilkes Booth said he would kill your boy.”
“Ahh ok let’s not call Lincoln my boy…”
“Your obsession? Ultimate hashtag man crush monday?”
“I see nothing wrong with having an interest in a former US President… you on the other hand, this is your freaky obsession.”
“I digress…”
They both laughed as Ricky took out his phone from his pocket, appearing to be scrolling through it as he thought about what he was going to say next.
“Our first video was a moderate success I would say, over 5,000 views already! Some interesting comments I thought I would share before we get started. The first one being:
Is that blonde boy okay? He looked like he was in a state of shock at the end there.”
“Hi, I’m Jared, the blonde boy and yes, I am fine. I wasn’t prepared for the ouija board so I was caught off guard.” His eyes looked over at Ricky who was still reading some comments to pick out. Once the camera stopped recording in the previous video, the ouija board led into an argument that ultimately made them go back to a hotel instead of the tent. Ricky has apologized multiple times since. They both agreed on still using it, but he wasn’t going to antagonize the spirits anymore.
“Here’s a good one…
You’re both just a bunch of amateurs, did you go back home and cry to mommy after that?! What a bunch of losers, go back to your books and leave the real ghost hunting to Zak Bagans.”
“I hate that guy.”
“Me too. Ghost Hunters is a terrible show.”
“Find a better comment.”
After more searching he found one that was more of a warning than anything.
“Please, stay safe. Ouija boards are not meant to be a toy so follow it’s instructions carefully. The figure eight it kept doing and counting down are signs you may have contacted something else. I will keep you both in my prayers tonight.”
“I told you, Ricky...”
“I ain’t afraid of no ghost!”
“Let’s get back to Mary, shall we?”
Ricky put his phone away as another individual came into the frame, taking the empty seat next to Jared.
“Today we have a special guest who helped us get access here after hours, this is Adam, a friend of Jared’s and server here. So have you seen or heard Mary?”
“Oh yeah, when I do the late night shift here you hear some spooky shit. I’ll be sweeping the floors when all of a sudden I hear a woman crying. When I go up to the second floor it usually stops.”
“I wonder why she’s crying…”
“We’ll just have to find out!”
The camera cuts off. The next time it comes back on Jared is holding it to keep both Adam and Ricky in the frame as they set up the room. They moved to the second floor where Adam said he heard the most commotion.
“So while they set up, I’ll give you all a history lesson. Mary Surratt along with the rest of the Conspirators were known Confederate sympathizers. It was reported that Booth, Powell and Atzerodt stayed at the house between September 1864 to April 1865. Together, on the night of Lincoln’s assasination, the Lincoln Conspirators orchestrated a way to take down the President, Vice President, and Secretary of State. What brought her down for being one of them was evidence later found of a letter to Booth, multiple letters of disdain against the president, and other anti president propaganda...”
“A she-devil ringleader!”
“Ricky, you promised you weren’t going to make any snide remarks this time!”
“I’m just calling it like it is.”
“There wasn’t a clear cut sentence! Some thought she was innocent and just a regular Confederate supporter. She was found guilty, and hanged on July 7, 1865 with the other conspirators, minus Booth who died back in April of that year.”
“Mary… if you are here with us. Let us know?”
Ricky turned on his EMF reader as Adam grabbed another device and handed it to him.
“What the hell is this?”
“It’s a spirit box, I bought it a few months back when I first started. It may be a better tool to use than that other thing.”
“Ricky! Someone commented on the video to invest in one of those!”
“You can have mine, I hope after tonight I won’t want to use it anymore…”
Ricky examined the device and pressed the button to turn it on. The noise was loud as it quickly ran through radio stations to make a sort of white noise.
“Jared - ask a question.”
“Is there anybody here with us?”
All three of them remained silent as they waited for a response. Their eyes were glued to the spirit box as it continued to flood noise at a fast pace. Ricky opened his mouth to speak before it finally decided say a word
“Innocent.”
It took everything Ricky had to not drop the device. Not only did it say something, he felt that it was responding to their talk on if she was part of the Lincoln Conspiracy or not. Jared cursed under his breath before he asked his next question.
“Mary? Are you claiming you were innocent regarding Lincoln’s death?”
More noise, Ricky decided to turn it up a little in case the camera wasn’t picking up the words it could possibly say. After a few minutes he turned it off all together.
“I don’t know how I feel about this.”
Ricky didn’t particularly enjoy the new piece of equipment they acquired. It felt more annoying than anything. He walked over to the camera and picked it up to place it in a new spot, one that had a better shot of the table they set up for the ouija board. In the background, the sound of Jared’s groan marked that he wasn’t happy with the transition.
“You like Mary, you wrote your bachelor’s capstone over these people… c'mon.”
“If it starts counting down again, I’m out.”
It was hard to make out on camera but Ricky’s eyes rolled at the comment. The three of them sat on the chairs that surrounded the little table. The board and planchette were in place as well as a few candles that lit the room to give it the “ambience” the people in the comments said it needed. When they all had their fingers in place, they started to warm the board up.
“Alright… Is Mary Surratt here?”
Slowly but surely, they were moved to the yes portion.
“Sorry to bother you like this unexpectedly… my friend is a huge fan. He wants to know if you said you were innocent.”
Their hands moved slightly away then back to the yes.
“Damning evidence though…”
“F-R-A-M-E-D.”
“Really because there was reports of you talking to Booth before he was killed.”
The candle closest to Ricky was put out, causing a smirk to form on his face when the other two cursed.
“I think someone else should ask the questions.”
Adam took the control of the planchette and made them warm it up again as he thought of a question.
“Are you thrilled that your precious racist home is now a place where people can eat sushi, get drunk and embarrass themselves with karaoke?”
He did his best to stop his laugh, only to have the board start drawing figure eights again. Jared’s eyes started to bulge out some as he grew scared, even Ricky was startled which caused them to try and stop it. After they placed the planchette on goodbye, he immediately picked it up so it wouldn’t fly off again. Jared was fuming now.
“It’s not a toy, man! It’s not meant to be taken lightly.”
“C’mon you can’t believe in this shit?! I know Ricky was controlling it.”
Before he could respond, another lit candle tipped over and landed on Adam's sleeve. The other two immediately got up to put it out. He let out a bit of a scream as it burned through and started to touch his skin. After it was put out, Jared rushed to the camera and turned it off.
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Historical Encounters - Gettysburg
“Will you hold the camera still for five god damn minutes!”
“Really Ricky? You’re going to use that kind of language while we're out doing this?”
The camera turned off for a few moments, when it came back on two individuals were shown in a cramped tent. The only light that was provided was from a lantern that was hastily bought at the last minute from a nearby Wal-Mart. It didn’t provide much, but it was enough to at least show their faces.
“What should we even say?”
The two of them laughed, the awkwardness of being on camera hitting them at that moment. This would be their first video on YouTube, other people made it out to be so easy. They weren’t by any means professionals. The camera they purchased was low-grade, you were lucky that you could see through the fuzziness the lens provided.
“I guess we just introduce ourselves? Hi. My name is Ricky, this is Jared. We’re both graduate students at George Washington University studying Museum Studies and today, we want to see if we can conjure up some ghost.”
Jared let out another laugh as he scratched the back of his head. Out of the two of them, he was more terrified of the idea of seeing one in person. Ricky on the other hand, was more intrigued on possibly knowing more about the history of what could have happened. This was a sort of test run, if they received any sort of positive feedback then they would continue this series.
“Today, we are at possibly one of the most well known battle sites of the Civil War, yes. We are at Gettysburg. More specifically, we are where the Pickett’s Charge portion of where the battle occured. Are you scared, Ricky?”
“Of ghosts? Nope. The only thing that scares me is racist.”
He looked back at the camera and smiled, trying to playoff the joke without an audience. This really was awkward, Jared let out a small chuckle as he reached over to turn off the camera.
The next time it comes back on it shows Ricky casually walking through the site with a backpack on. With it being nighttime, Jared kept the flash on so you could see where they were.
“For those of you who have never had the pleasure of meeting Ricky, an interesting fact about him is he knows a little too much about Lincoln. How many books would you say you’ve read on him?
Ricky reached in his pocket and grabbed his EMF scanner, it was the one thing they both decided to splurge on for this trip. He fumbled with it for a moment until it turned on, no sounds coming on at first.
“At least, fifteen? That sounds about right.”
“And what is that you are holding?”
“This is an electromagnetic field detector, this is usually used by electricians to locate where some electromagnetic radiation might be coming from. The idea behind this is, if we’re not in a spot where this should normally go off , then something out of this world is close. So if it does -”
Ricky gave him a shrug and continued walking, Jared doing his best on keeping the camera as steady as possible. There was a long moment of silence as they walked through the field, both boys feeling the impact of where they were at. So many individuals died here, all for the argument on morals in early America. The silence was broken when Jared spoke again.
“I bet you know the whole Gettysburg Address by heart, don’t you?”
Without thinking much about it, he decided to take on his challenge by reciting it.
“Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created ---”
Ricky stopped when the EMF scanner started to beep, he saw the numbers go up and stay in the exact same spot. Immediately he started to take off his backpack and motioned for Jared to come closer.
“You made that go off!”
“I swear to god, no I did not!”
The camera was shaky, but remained on Ricky’s backpack as he opened it to reveal that he stuffed an Ouija Board inside of it.
“No no no no! This is where I draw the line!”
Jared put the camera down and started walking away, Ricky immediately went over to him to talk to him. The camera was left where it could still see the EMF scanner, showing the number rise as the two of them spoke.
“I’m Catholic, Ricky! I can’t do this!”
“All I’m asking is you help me! I’ll do all of the talking!”
“Where did you even get that thing?!”
“Toys ‘R Us, it was next to CandyLand.”
Jared groaned before walking back to get the camera, positioning it to where it would balance on Ricky’s backpack. It wasn’t a great angle, but it allowed the viewer to see the Ouija Board box as they opened it.
“You promise, if anything weird happens you’ll instantly end this...right?”
Ricky just held out his pinky for a moment before he continued to open the planchette out of the plastic. Jared reached over to look at the instructions, his free hand aimlessly gripping onto his cross necklace.
“You are aware that it says we shouldn’t play in a graveyard right? This is probably the worst pla-”
Ricky grabbed the instructions away from him and placed it back in the now empty box.
“Put your fingers on the planchette, please. Help me keep up with the letters.”
The two of them started to make the planchette move slowly to “warm it up.” During the time Ricky did his best to try and come up with a few questions to ask the board or hopefully, the spirit.
“What is your name?”
It started to move, Jared felt his own palms sweating up as he did his best to not freak out. Ricky remained focus as they both started reading out loud the letters
“R - I - C - H - A - R - D”
“Richard, Richard….”
Ricky hummed lightly as he tried to think about what else to ask, the name was so common it could have been one of the thousands who died on this battlefield.
“Were you part of the Confederacy, Richard?”
Their hands went straight to the yes portion of the board before it went back to spelling.
“G - E - N - E - R - A - L”
“Oh shit.”
Ricky looked back at Jared who was now sweating, they both knew who this was.
“Is this General Richard Garrett?”
Once again, the planchette pointed at yes. Jared started to shake his head as he kept mumbling fuck under his breath. Ricky glared at him as a sign for him to stop.
“Do you regret joining the Confederacy, General?”
There was a bit of bitterness in his voice, his own beliefs apparent as he didn’t sympathize with any confederate soldiers. The movement of the planchette was a sudden jerking motion, causing Jared to squeal a little bit. It landed on no.
“Of course you don’t.”
The planchette started moving in an infinity sign, slow at first but gained speed as it did it over and over again. Jared started to hyperventilate as it didn’t stop.
“Ricky, end this!”
He kept begging, but each time he tried to take control it wouldn’t let him. When it stopped it landed on the 9.
“9 - 8 - 7 - 6 - 5 - 4 -”
“Ricky, stop!”
“3 - 2 -1”
The planchette flew out from the board and landed a few feet away from them. Jared moved away from the board and held his knees close to his chest.
“ Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.”
The camera moved as Ricky picked it up to go check out the planchette, the final shot being just of that as he said.
“What the fuck?”
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Black coffee with a dash of half/half, old books, whiskey, history lover’s heart, cat dad
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Dreams
“Oh, hello Mrs. Robinson!” She had about four drinks throughout that afternoon, her excuse? She was drinking enough to celebrate for her whole family that couldn’t attend tonight. “Raviv, Elisabeth wanted to come for the weekend but flights from Brazil were just too expensive this time of year.” I shrugged my shoulders at the comment, sure I was upset that Lizzie couldn’t come but I knew she was doing better things in South America. She was finding herself there when she couldn’t here, with him. I thought she was about to leave for the night and just wanted to say bye. Instead, she closed my bedroom door and slowly walked over to my bed, sitting on the edge. Her attention went to my nightstand where I had a framed photo of Lizzie and I on our high school senior trip to New York. “Isn’t she lovely? She reminds me of myself when I was that young. Beautiful, intelligent... foolish.” Her eyes rolled some as she put the photo back down, making it face down as if she didn’t want her daughter to see her. “She’s happy, we spoke on the phone a few nights ago. I don’t think she regrets going.” He was happy for her, deep down despite leaving the country. She became a better person by doing so.
“She’s foolish for letting a handsome guy like yourself go.” She smirked at me, almost in an intimidating manner. In my heart I felt like I should of kicked her out, but I couldn’t. Instead I blushed and tried my hardest to look away from her. “Adorable.” She grabbed my chin and jerked my head back to look at her. “You’ve always been so charming, you know that?” It felt uncomfortable, she inched herself closer to me and I recoiled. “Mrs. Robinson, are you coming on to me?” It was a sad attempt at a joke, or so I thought. When she didn’t deny it I did everything I could to push myself back in a corner, only to have her follow. “Raviv, don’t tell me you’re not interested now. It’ll hurt my feelings.” She was practically on my lap now, there was no way I could move away from her. It felt like I was going to have a panic attack, no matter how many times I told her no and to please stop… she kept going. This woman was not only drunk from the alcohol that consumed her body but the attraction she had towards me. Eventually, I somehow convinced myself it was going to be ok. When she was through with me, she relaxed beside my naked body. “I love you, Rav.”
“I’ve had that dream multiple times since it happened.” Ricky accepted the tissue that was handed to him, dotting the corners of his eyes to keep the tears from falling. “I thought she did love me for the first few months. Every time she would see me she would say that, or how handsome and intelligent I was. It wasn’t until we hit our three month mark in our affair she turned unpleasant. I love you became I need you, handsome turned into you’re nothing without me, intelligent was now - you’re an idiot if you leave me. I became her property.” He remained silent, the psychiatrist jotted on her notes for his record. “She loved me, right? Or did I just fall for her trap. Did she just want to cause her daughter all that pain?”
“She was a manipulator Ricky, she wanted you to believe what she wanted you to. I’m sorry this happened to you.”
“I’m sorry too.”
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Spring Fling 1997
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Want to tell you I love your way every day
Want to be with you night and day
“Listen Ricky, I know you think it’s cool to listen to old men’s music but c’mon. We could be listening to Savage Garden…. Nine Inch Nails….. Nirvana? Music that people our age like!”
Lizzie threw her book aside, annoyed that she was being forced to listen to yet another Peter Frampton song from his Frampton Comes Alive! album. “Please, you think Truly Madly Deeply is even close to this? Ever since that album came a month ago I’ve wanted to bash my head in a wall every time that song came on the radio.” He reached over to grab her book, opening it back up to the page it was originally on. “Did you only want to be my partner in this project because you knew I would do all of the work on it?” Lizzie leaned in and gave him a hug, lightly groaning some in his ear “It’s so boring! And you love this stuff anyways! Just call me your cheerleader!” He moved his glasses away from his eyes to rub the tired away from them. It was true, the project was simple enough. All they had to do was create a presentation based on the importance of oil and politics in world history. Ricky came up with the idea overnight to do it over the Iranian Revolution in 1979, a topic he learned himself over the course of two weeks in preparation for this. “Just don’t mess up please.”
But don't hesitate 'cause your love won't wait
I can see the sunset in your eyes
Brown and grey and blue besides
Clouds are stalking islands in the sun
“So what do you want to do this Friday? My mom said we can rent a movie and order a pizza. We can event rent Jurassic Park for the fifth time if we must!” Lizzie grabbed the book away from his hands as she got up from his bed and sat beside him. “I actually have plans, I’m sorry I thought I told you - “ Ricky avoided looking at her, his hand tapping on his lap as he grew nervous from it. “Plans?! I’m your only friend. Who could you possibly have plans with?” His heart felt like it was going to bust out of his chest, he hated confrontation. It had only been a couple days ago when he made these plans, but he couldn’t bring himself to tell Lizzie. “Well, if you must know. Bethany asked me to the dance…” All she could do was scoff, and laugh a little. “Please, every guy in our grade probably asked her. And she asked you?!”
Want to tell you I love your way
Want to be with you night and day
Ooh baby I love your way every day
Want to tell you I love your way
Want to be with you night and day
“Thanks. Some girls find brains to be attractive, y’know. It’s not all about looks all the time.” Ricky stood up and walked towards the door to let her out. When Lizzie was able to control her laughter, she let out a sigh. “She’s practically sucked everyone’s face in school. I guess you get to be lucky number 30?” Another eye roll, along with him not being able to look at her again. “Wait, have you ever kissed anyone?”
“I’ve kissed plenty of girls!”
“Your mother doesn’t count!”
“Yeah but your mom does!”
Lizzie threw his pillow at him, gagging a little at the thought. “Please, I hear it from our friends already. I don’t want to hear you say my mom is hot too!” Ricky laughed as he sat back down with her. “Don’t worry, I would n e v e r say or do anything like that. If we’re being honest though, no. I have not kissed anyone before. Happy?” He picked his book back up and started reading some more, hoping that the subject was done and over with. Lizzie cleared her throat and did the same, grabbing a hold of his notes to read over. “I haven’t either.” she quietly said, flushing a little. “I mean, how much is there to it? You just lean in and --- kiss right?” Ricky shrugged and kept reading. “C’mon. Let’s just do it.” She grabbed the book back from him and put it behind her back, causing him to have his attention on her. “You’re crazy.” He tried to get it back from her only to have Lizzie push him back down. “Think about it! We do this, it won’t be awkward when our real one comes! Just a little kiss, Ricky!”
“Alright. One Kiss.”
They faced each other, both of them unsure of who was supposed to lean in first. Lizzie took the initiative to reach over and take his glasses off for him. Her sudden movement made him flinch, but she gave him a reassuring look that she wasn’t going to hurt him. As she took them off, he inched closer to her. He wasn’t sure if he should be laughing or not, the idea of kissing his best friend was funny in thought, but exciting all at the same time. Lizzie inched herself closer to him, they were so close now. What happened next is something the two would argue about for years to come on who went first. One thing was for certain, they pressed their lips together for a soft kiss. When their eyes opened, they both smiled. Ricky leaned back in to give her another one, his hand cusping the soft flesh of her cheek as he put more into this one. He felt Lizzie do the same, both their hearts were racing as it went on for what seemed like an eternity. When they broke this one, their reaction wasn’t the same. Both felt confused, unsure of the other’s intention. Lizzie broke the silence, “weird.” Ricky nodded in agreement. “Like kissing my sister. If I had one.”
“I hope you and Bethany have a good time on friday.”
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Ford’s Theatre
January 06, 2020 - 8:30 AM
“So this is how this usually goes…”
Ricky winced slightly as he gripped on the handle tighter, the Red Line train making a sudden stop like it always did when it was going a little faster than it should. “Just a few more stops, we’ll be there soon.” The position he was in was awkward. Lizzie sat in the only free seat they could find when they came on the train, he opted to stand in front of her. In return when the train made its multiple quick stops, his pelvis practically shoved itself in her face. “Sorry…” He whispered, turning a bright pink when she started laughing. “Buy me a drink first, then we can talk about going home together.” Her hands teasingly pushed on his hips, making him roll his eyes. “God, you can be so crude.” He looked back down at her, her beautiful smiling face looking back at his. His own lips curled up, he couldn’t stay mad at her for long. Despite a few wandering eyes, he lowered himself to her to give her a small kiss. Of course the train made another sudden stop, causing him to almost fall on top of her.
“Metro Center Station, transfers are available to the orange, silver and blue lines on the lower level.”
This was the annoying part of their journey. Metro Center was a huge, people from Virginia, Maryland & D.C. along with tourist scattered all over trying to find their exits. Ricky turned back around and saw how intimidated Lizzie looked, the occasional bumps she got when businessmen ran into her small frame caused a slight annoyance in her expression. He smirked, grabbing her hand and leading her through the crowds of people as fast as he could. “I’m sure you know this by now.” He let out a deep sigh when they got to the escalators. “Proper etiquette on these is, if you are wanting to stand, you go on the right side. If you want to run, you go on the left.” He eyed the couple of tourists who were unaware of this, causing a lot of anger from behind them. When they heard what he said, they glared back at Ricky. “Hey, I’m just trying to help you guys out.”
“Excuse me, Sir! Ma’am! Do you have time to talk about President Trump’s -”
Ricky immediately shook his head, excusing the two of them away from the people who were trying to get a donation of some sort. “It’s not that I’m not interested in what they have to say.” His hand pulled her closer to him so he could wrap his arm around her waist. “It’s just, I’ve heard it all. Living in the area for as long as I have… trust me. I’ve heard it all. They want to tell us about the recent missile launch Trump did, then proceed to explain to us that their candidate...whether it’s Biden, Warren, Sanders… wants to do better for America. I’m sure they do. But I don’t have the money to donate to their campaigns.” Lizzie snorted, covering her mouth to keep from laughing a little too loud for them to hear. “You can’t tell me you don’t get in discussions with them, especially the Trump supporters every once in a while.” Ricky shrugged, leading them into the closest Starbucks for some coffee. “I mean occasionally. When I first lived here it almost seemed like you couldn’t have any sort of friendship with anybody unless you were willing to talk politics. It just gets annoying after awhile --- let me guess, venti skinny caramel macchiato… no whip?” Lizzie’s eyes lit up as she nodded her head, grinning ear to ear “You remember!” After he finished the order and paid for it he turned back to her. “How could I forget? I’ve ordered it so much I have it etched in my mind forever.”
“Happy New Years Ricky! Welcome back!”
The office assistant’s voice was it’s usual annoying, chirpy pitch as the two walked in the room. “Good morning.” Ricky kept repeating it over and over again, as each cubicle’s occupant greeted him. “It’s a modest area, a second home still nonetheless.” He brought up another chair to his cubicle before proceeding to move a few of his personal knick knacks aside, not before she could grab a photo frame from him. “God, how old is this photo?” She was in awe when she looked at it, tracing the frame with her finger. “That was taken after I graduated with my bachelor’s, and you came home for fourth of july. That was when you and Leah got so drunk you both -” Lizzie immediately put the photo down, glaring back at him which caused him to laugh. “I’m done, I’m done! No more teasing.” Ricky grabbed the photo back and put it next to his computer, humming I Kissed a Girl to himself. With a hard hit from Lizzie, that was the official end of that.
“So the Museum and Theater are on one side of the street, and the Peterson House is on the other.”
Ricky’s day wasn’t terribly busy after 10:30, the start of the New Year never really was. After the first of the month meeting he was able to escape his coworkers and show Lizzie around. “What’s the Peterson House, why is it part of the museum?” She cupped her eyes to get a better look of the house behind them, the line of people outside waiting to go in was unusual for this time of year. “Lincoln was shot at Ford’s, but he lived for nine hours afterwards. They took him to the Peterson House where he finally passed away. Mary Todd was in a mess those final hours, she kept weeping that she had wished she was shot as well.” He frowned, giving a small shrug before leading her back in. “It’s sad really, the story of Mary Todd Lincoln’s life. She witnessed three of her sons pass away, her husband, and her only living son sent her to an insane asylum because he felt she needed it.” He led her passed a small group of kids looking at the statues inside the museum. “Was she insane?” Ricky stopped the two of them at the photos of the family, seeing all the young photos of the children that didn’t make it. “Depressed, heartbroken… all of the above. Could you imagine what it was like to go on with life after that?” He let out a sigh, thinking about it once again the life that woman had. When he read about what happened to her years ago it put him in a stump for a while. It took him a long time to pick up another book about Lincoln.
“So the Theater itself is very small, considering the ones we have today.”
The Ranger Talk was going on when they finally made their way into the actual Ford’s Theater. He didn’t say much after that so that Lizzie could have a chance to hear the volunteer talk about how John Wilkes Booth ran away after the assassination. It had been awhile since he himself sat in on one of these, for all he knew his volunteers could have been just dancing up on the stage. He was doing a phenomenal job as he figured they all did. There was a rather large school group joining with them at this talk, which altered the mood of the discussion. Ricky enforced a policy on keeping it as lighthearted as possible, but staying with the truth. When they were asked to speak about the Civil War, slavery was always mentioned as the primary driving force in it. His first few months he went hard on the volunteers when they said otherwise. Some left because of it, Ricky not caring if he was considered too “radical” or “a snowflake” to these people. When he was finished, he quickly got up and grabbed Lizzie’s hand in his. “We gotta go to the house before these kids get a hold of it!”
“Here it is, the bed that Lincoln passed away in…”
The Peterson House was small, cramped, it squeaked as you walked and you barely had time to really see anything in it. Ricky looked back at Lizzie, whose eyes were glued on to the bed without saying a word. “There wasn’t much that they could do. It’s really shocking that one small bullet could do this to a strong, powerful man.” When she didn’t look back at him, he tapped on her shoulder lightly. “Liz?” She quickly excused herself and ran out the way they came in, Ricky right behind her.
“What’s wrong, did I say something?” Lizzie sat on the edge of the sidewalk, pulling her legs up to her chest as she tried to hold back from crying. Ricky sat by her and wrapped his arm around her, trying to comfort her. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you cry.” Through her tears, she managed to speak some. “It’s not you, it’s just --- how can you work at a place that’s practically a gravesite? The bed, the gun, Licoln’s own blood was on that pillow!” It wasn’t the first time he was asked that, it probably wouldn’t be the last. Ford’s Theater was a site of Dark Tourism for some people, but he viewed it as a memorial. “I work here, because it’s preserving the history of one of the greatest presidents of our history. One that hopefully people will learn from and continue to express his beliefs.” Lizzie gave him a small smile, pinching his side some. “You’re such a nerd, you know that?”
“That may be the case…. You want to get some pizza? There is this place close by, they know me by name.”
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Cherry
October 2000
The smell of burnt pizza was almost toxic, combine that with the overuse of cologne and fear and you have high school . Ricky sat with his “clique” as always, Lizzie & Leah with the occasional drifters that would come and go in their friendship circle. This new guy today was named Chad, Brad? Something along those lines. Leah had been tagging him along in hopes they would become an item at some point. The whole time at lunch Ricky just stared at his frosted tips, they were horribly done. It seemed like the whole school was trying them out thanks to Dawson’s Creek and *NSYNC. Self - consciously, he touched his own dark locks. No, I can’t subject myself to that, no matter how cool Pacey Witter looked. He was thankful when Lizzie finally made her appearance, finally someone for him to talk to since Leah was occupied with --- Stephen? No Stephen was last month’s old news. “You’re smiling ear - to - ear again, did it finally happen?” She gave a smirk to her friend as she sat down to join them. Lizzie’s face flushed a bright pink, all she could do was nod to give her answer. They both squealed, causing anyone within five feet of them to cringe. “I’m sorry am I missing something?” Ricky took another bite of his cheese pizza before sitting it back down on his styrofoam plate. “Oh, it’s nothing … except Lizzie finally popped her cherry.” She gave her a hard smack for saying it out loud like that, the grin still not leaving her face. “And it was perfect!” The room suddenly felt hot, the pizza in front of him looked less appealing than usual. “Now it’s Little Ricky’s turn.” They both giggled, he felt his face turn just as red as Lizzie’s was. “What do you think, Aaron? Maybe you can turn the duckling into a swan? Give him a little makeover.” That’s his name, Aaron. Lizzie leaned over and grabbed his glasses right off his face, tussling his hair to give it a more shaggy appearance. “And just like She’s All That, you instantly look hotter.” He snatched his glasses back and rolled his eyes. “I don’t need you all to help me get laid.”
“Contacts Ricky! Have you ever thought about them?!” Leah was driving about ten over the speed limit, trying to hit the mall and make it home just in time for a new episode of 7th Heaven. Right after the idea of a makeover at lunch, Leah and Lizzie ran with it. “You have so much potential and you’re choosing to dress like your mother helps you every morning!” The comment caused him to run his hands down his burgundy sweater, it was nice, it kept him warm --- and it was bought by his mother. “You both are being ridiculous, I think I look just fine!” Despite the pleas to turn around and head home for the night the trio went on to the mall. After a trip to an optometrist he has seen before and few outfits bought, they were finally in for the night. Lizzie insisted on staying to see him model some of the outfits they got. “So. What was it like, really?” He threw the last shirt he had off and relaxed on his bed, Lizzie sitting on his computer chair with her legs pulled up to her chest. “Honestly? Just when I was getting excited that it was finally happening - it was over.” She shrugged her shoulders a little, relaxing her body to the seat. “Don’t feel pressured by it, really. Forget what Leah says she’s a slut anyways.” Lizzie rolled her eyes and climbed into his bed, curling up underneath his comforter as she let out a yawn. “Can I sleepover? My parents were fighting this morning and I would rather not have to deal with it.”
“Of course.”
Lizzie fell asleep almost instantly after that. Ricky quietly got out of his bed to check to see if his own parents were still up. Thankfully they always went to bed early. When he returned to his room he noticed that she was taking up the majority of the bed. With a sigh, he laid down on what little bit he could on the edge. She looked so peaceful when she slept, compared to the occasional fits of rage she would have. He couldn’t help but feel jealous, and slightly bad for her at the same time. What she showed to Leah earlier didn’t match up to what she was feeling, maybe it wasn’t that big of a deal at all. He wasn’t sure who the lucky guy was, nor was he sure he wanted to know. Something in his gut was making him wish it was him.
A few weeks later his contacts came in. They were tricky to put on at first, Ricky felt like he stabbed himself in the eyes multiple times when he put them on. When he looked at himself in the mirror, all he could think about was what Leah said about looking like you didn’t care about your appearance. He opted out of brushing his hair, instead he added a little bit of water to it and carried on with his morning. When he arrived at school he was met with a few questionable looks. Was this real life? He was usually invisible, how could a few new articles of clothes and contacts change the way he was perceived in the world? Were they really that vapid? Leah and Lizzie were waiting by his locker for the big reveal, both of their jaws dropping. “Ricky, you’re a babe!” Leah’s hand got a little too close to his ass when she tried to pinch it, his hand immediately hitting it back. “It’s still me! Was I hideous with those glasses on or something?!” Lizzie traced her hand down his new faux leather jacket and gave him a warm smile. “You never were, you just looked more… refined now.” As the three of them walked to their first class, Leah kept track on how many people were looking. It brought her a sick joy that she was able to pull something like this off it seemed like.
“I counted ten, and that was with just us walking down the hallway. Imagine if we did this all day!” Leah cut herself off when she noticed Bethany Watson coming in the room. She looked down at Ricky, smiling in approval before sitting down in the front row of the classroom. Once again, his cheeks felt hot. “Don’t tell me you are still in love with her?” Lizzie scoffed as she opened her journal. “May I remind you, you turned her down after that Spring Fling in seventh grade. You had your chance, get over it.” Leah gave Lizzie a shove to shut her up, “It’s pathetic, but cute.” Ricky didn’t pay any attention to what they were arguing about afterwards. She was right that he turned her down. After the dance he had cold feet, she was just too perfect for him. After that he did everything in his power to avoid her. It wasn’t exactly easy when she won student body president and was all over the place. Throughout their first period she kept making eye contact, whispering to her friends, looking back. Ricky tried to ignore it but couldn’t, even when the teacher snapped at her to turn around. Lizzie through a wadded up piece of paper at his head, when he opened it up he rolled his eyes. “I do not need a napkin, thank you.” he whispered.
At the end of class, Bethany did her best to catch up with the three of them as they headed towards their lockers. “Ricky, you have a minute?” She asked him, but looked at the other two with a slight glare to know they were not welcomed. “You’re lucky, he has five!” Leah grabbed Lizzie’s arm, despite her best efforts she was forced to follow her away from the two. “So. History is hard.” She stifled a laugh, covering her face to cover the embarrassment she was trying to make it seem she was feeling. “I’m one bad paper away from making a B, and I cannot let that happen. What would Harvard think?!” Concern, her perfect eyebrows pulled together with her lower lip pouting out a tad. “If you want, you can give me your paper… I can edit it tonight for you.” Ricky wasn’t entirely oblivious, only when it came to matters dealing with the opposite sex. Beth gave him a small smile and grabbed his hand into hers. “I couldn’t turn in someone else’s work and call it mine. Why don’t you come over tonight, I can order some pizza?” Butterflies. He didn’t remember how he said it but he knew he gave her a yes.
Against Lizzie’s wishes, Ricky kept his promise and showed up at Bethany’s house that night. He was surprised that nobody else was home, surly her parents knew he was coming to help tutor her. She beat him to the punch answering the door, “You made it! I hope I didn’t steer you off in the wrong direction!” She was wearing silk pajamas, it was like he was going to some sort of slumber party instead. Meanwhile he was still wearing the jeans and light blue shirt from the day. “No no, the bus dropped me off about a couple of blocks from here. It was pretty straight forward after that.” He gave her a small smile as he walked in her house, admiring how nice it was instantly. Beth grabbed his hand and headed upstairs with him to her bedroom. It was perfectly clean, nothing out of place. She sprawled out on her bed and patted a spot for him to join. “Where’s the paper? We should get started before it’s too late.” He let out a nervous laugh as she sat back up and crossed her legs. “Listen. I’m making a 95 in that class, no real fear of failing the semester as of right now.” ohhhhhh…. Lizzie was right.
Their bodies were tangled together, clothes ripped off and thrown on different sides of the queen sized bed. Ricky kept his lips close to the nape of her neck as he softly kissed it. Bethany was getting bored, her eyes glued to the wall as this foreplay was going on for what felt like an eternity for her. “Ricky - Ricky…” She pulled off of him and sat the two of them up. “Is this your first time?” Her hand stroked his cheek as he looked away. “Oh my god - it is.” She grinned as she pushed him back down on the bed.
Bethany was softly humming to herself as she brushed her hair in the mirror. Ricky reached over to grab his watch that he left on her nightstand. “I find you fascinating.” She broke her own silence and turned back to look at him. “Intelligent, even. I bet if you tried hard enough you could land a spot in Harvard.” She placed her brush down on her vanity and crawled back into bed with him. He wasn’t sure what to say or do, so he opted to just let her cling on to him. “We look good together.” She motioned for him to look back at her mirror at their reflection. What she saw was a couple, soaking in the bliss of spending the night together in the bedroom. Ricky saw himself covered in sweat, blotchy with red spots surrounding his face and chest. He thought it was best to not say that at the moment. “What’s keeping you from me? Is it Little Lizzie Robinson?” she snorted, feeling like she was humoring herself with that assumption. He looked away from their reflection, “Lizzie and I are just friends” he said with a minor annoyance in his tone. Bethany turned her back so she could face him, looking up at him under her long eyelashes “What does that make us then, just friends as well?”
The next morning as Ricky headed to his locker he was stopped by Bethany, who wrapped herself around him and walked with him. Lizzie and Leah both were shocked when they saw them, Liz more or less upset than anything. As he put his backpack away Beth gave him a quick kiss, “I’ll see you in class.” The other girls stared at him after she left. “Well?” Leah broke the silence but before he could answer, the bell rang.
Seating arrangements were changed, surprising everyone. Ricky was forced to stay in the back while Lizzie and Leah were forced to sit closer in the front in hopes they would “focus more”. As class went on Ricky was dying to tell them what happened so he scribbled them a note. When the teacher wasn’t looking he threw it and hit Lizzie directly in the head. She unraveled it, Ricky noticing how her body froze as she handed the note to Leah: No Cherry. When she turned back to see him he couldn’t help but gloat.
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Thanksgiving 2019
I’ve always considered it odd that my parents wanted to celebrate Thanksgiving.
Every year, around late September my mother would start making plans for it. It became a hassle when I moved out of Pennsylvania, It would require an amtrak mid-afternoon Wednesday before and me staying in my old high school bedroom that hasn’t been touched since I was eighteen. When I arrived I put the few articles of clothing away in my closet, the door was still covered in posters that reflected my poor taste in music at that age. Another long weekend ahead, already I was dreading what was to come tomorrow.
8:30 AM
The next morning there was an aroma of an assortment of herbs and spices being cooked with. I was already hungry, but as tradition we were never allowed to eat until lunch which was always served an hour later than originally anticipated. I decided my mother could use some help, being that she was the only one who ever did anything for the holidays. As I started chopping up onions and celery the questions of what I was doing in my life began. “When are you going to find yourself a nice girl?” I swear, it was the onions that made me tear up, not the question. “You’re pushing into your forties, if you’re not careful your life will just slip away. You’ll work yourself to death!” From the moment I turned twenty-nine age was constantly brought up. No respectable man waits until they’re forty to get married in my mother’s eyes, that’s when they turn to a playboy-type sleaze. I never really answer those questions, I instead laugh at the nerve she thought she had regarding it. “You should see the type of women that are around D.C, Mom. You’ll think twice about me going on dates with them.”
9:30 AM
My mother eventually insisted that she had everything under control and kicked me out. My father was in the other room with my uncle who I only see maybe once a year. They had the Macy’s Day Parade on in the background, mainly for my two younger cousins to watch as a way to get them away from their conversation. “We were just talking about you.” My uncle said, taking one last puff of his cigar before it was considered done. “Are you still liking it over there in Washington? Hows that little museum doing?” It’s never a good thing when my father starts talking to my uncle, it leads into comparing. My cousin Karim who was only a few months older than me has proven to be the golden child of the family. Graduated top of his class at Yale, went on to medical school in Columbia. Now he’s one of the top neurologist in the East coast. My father always seemed disappointed in me when that was brought up. “The museum is doing great, the holidays bring in people from around the world. Should be busy up until the New Year.” The look on his face was anything but sincere, he could care less about what I was doing with my life. “When do you think you’ll become a curator or something there? Have a higher title?” It was always about a title in this family, if you didn’t have one then what was the point? “Well, you generally need a Ph.D for that. Or you need to know the right people.” When I glanced over at my father he had the same disappointed look on his face, why are you not successful?
12:45 PM
For once, my mother’s prediction on when dinner would be ready was correct. She was about fifteen minutes away from her one o’clock goal of having lunch on the table. The rest of the family arrived, including my cousin Karim and his wife-to-be Cassandra. I helped my mom set the table as everyone else exchanged hellos. “Raviv, you’ll need to set two more spots at the end. Mrs. Robinson and her daughter are joining us today.” I could feel my heart practically drop, my hands grew clammy as I fumbled with the few pieces of priceless china i held. It had been years since they came to a formal holiday, more importantly, it had been years since that year that changed it all. “I thought they went to -” My mother interrupted me and took the plates out of my hands. “Well, they stopped going to Scott’s family because they divorced a couple of years ago. Kathleen told me it was an affair that caused it.” How dare she speak to her about that, it was as if hurting her own daughter wasn’t enough for her. The room felt like it was spinning, more so after I heard a faint knock on the door. The mother and daughter duo came dressed for the occasion, Mrs. Robinson more so as she wore a figure hugging dress that showed off every curve she had to offer. They both exchanged their hellos to the family, thanking my father for the invite to lunch. When they came to the dining room to greet us I couldn’t help but look away, causing Lizzie to scoff at my direction. “Hello Raviv -- don’t be rude Elisabeth, say hello to your friend!” I exchanged a quick smile and hello back before excusing myself to the bathroom, this is why I hate the holidays.
1:05 PM
It was insulting on my mother’s part for insisting that Lizzie and I sat at the children’s table in order to prevent crowding on the adult side. She didn’t seem to thrilled about it herself, her face just remained glued to her plate as she ate in silence. “How - How is everything?” I quietly asked, hoping to get anything but the usual glare she tends to give. Her fork fell out of her hand and on to her plate, eyes locking on mine. “Oh you know, spend Thanksgiving with Mom, Christmas with Dad. If I’m lucky I may get to have them both come out for dinner on my birthday. Wouldn’t count on it though.” I looked over at the other table and saw her mother watching the both of us, a smirk appearing on her delicate features as she saw her daughter’s hostility towards me. “Look I think -”
“I didn’t ask what you think, Ricky.”
I could barely touch the rest of my food, I only took a few bites to begin with. I quietly scooted away from the table, using the napkin on my lap to wipe my mouth before getting up. My mother gave me a look as my father stood up as well. “Where do you think you’re going?” My stomach churned, I could tell my face was turning pale. “I’m not feeling so good.” I said, excusing myself upstairs to the bathroom next to my room. Whatever was in my stomach for the last two days practically came out. Ever since I was a kid I would throw up when things made me nervous, a trait that I still cannot believe I have to this day. After I cleaned myself up I went to my room, immediately going straight to bed.
2:30 PM
After I woke up from my nap I started packing up my suitcase. I knew my parents were mortified on what happened, and I didn’t want to stick around to hear the lecture that was sure to follow. When I left to get my toiletries I opened my door to see Lizzie standing right outside of it. “You’re good at that you know, running away from your problems. Like when we broke your parents TV, you ran off and hid at the park for hours and left me to deal with the blame. Or like that time you bailed on your prom date because her ex threatened to fight you if you touched her. Then there’s my personal favorite …when you ran back to D.C. after I found out about you and my mother.” I couldn’t think of anything to say, I just bowed my head and listened to her go on. “This is all just a joke to you isn’t it, Ricky? You ruined my parents marriage.”
“I didn’t ruin anything, your mother was already unhappy long before I came into the picture.”
“So you think that just gives you a right to sleep with her?! What’s worse is you asked me out within that year. I can’t believe you hid this from me, me Ricky!”
“I’m - I’m sorry, you know I never wanted to hurt you. What happened between your mother and I, it should have never happened.”
Lizzie wiped away the few tears that fell down her cheeks, her face bright red from the anger and frustration that was bottled up for years on this. I couldn’t look at her, it hurt to see how my actions affected her life. Before I could say anything else our mothers walked upstairs. My mom looked concerned as she saw Lizzie breaking down in front of me, Mrs. Robinson just gave the same look she did earlier. “Raviv, what on Earth did you do?!” She wrapped her arms around her and gave her a tight hug as she tried to comfort her. I just stared back at her pathetic excuse of a mother, anger from not only what we’ve done but what she chose to do to get me back.
5:00 PM
Mrs. Robinson and Lizzie were the last ones to go as they helped my mother clean up from the meal. I hid in my room, bags packed, amtrak tickets situated for tonight. I called for my Uber to come pick me up, the ride about five minutes away giving me time to say my goodbyes. Despite my mother not understanding what fully happened earlier she gave me a hug and begged me to come back home for Christmas. All I said was that I'll see what I could do, after an afternoon like this, it’s not that hard to see why I hardly come home for the holidays. My father shook my hand, treating me as if I was a sort of client and not his son before he excused himself to go watch the football game. Mrs. Robinson without hesitation pulled me in for a hug, causing me to almost freeze up and barely touch her back. “It was wonderful to see you again, Raviv.” she pulled away and squeezed my cheek before giving me a wink. Lizzie just stared, mortified and hurt once again. I tried to apologize with just a look but she quickly turned away, completely done with the day as much as I was. I was relieved when my phone alerted me my driver was outside....
I hate the holidays.
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About Me
When I was growing up, it was expected that I would become a doctor. Since I could practically remember my mother and father kept introducing me as “Future Dr. Najjar.” It was a pair of shoes I knew I couldn’t fill in, I wasn’t particularly gifted in biology, nor any sort of math. I was forced to go to tutoring every day when I was in elementary school, they hoped it would knock some sense into me then. By the time I was fourteen, my parents dream of me becoming a doctor became less realistic.
I grew interested in reading at a young age, I was picking up books well above my age group since I was seven. By the time I was ten, I found myself bored of fiction and started working on biographies, historical non-fiction, even reading encyclopedias to keep myself informed. I was eleven years old when I read my first Abraham Lincoln book. The first of the collection was 800-pages, it was considered to be the “end all” of biographies for this great president. I read that in a month, and the second one in six weeks. It was around then I consider my love for history to have blossomed into a full obsession. Every year for my birthday and Christmas I begged for another book, when I had my fill of Lincoln I went after Jefferson Davis, Ulysees S Grant, Robert E Lee, and the Civil War entirely. I started making connections with them, comparing the author’s thesis as to why this horrible American tragedy occured. For my senior project in high school, I wrote and presented a paper on the continuing effects from the Civil War. Not only did it gain attention in my district, but to the rest of Pennsylvania as it was published in the newspaper the following week. I was given a scholarship to continue my studies in college. While I was ecstatic to major in History at the University of Pennsylvania, I knew my parents were disappointed.
College was a different experience altogether, I had to say goodbye to my family and friends every semester in order to live on campus. Out of everyone, it was the hardest to say goodbye to Elisabeth Robinson, the friend I’ve had since I could walk. We were two different sides of the same misunderstood coin. Her parents had similar dreams for her but she chose a different path. I was really the only one who understood her, and her anger issues that stemmed from her parents. She would visit me any chance she got, each time it was known that her parent’s anger against her and themselves was wearing down on her. When I was living in my own apartment by my junior year I offered her a chance to stay, and she denied due to her own dreams taking her elsewhere. It was for the best, at that point I was studying for my GREs and getting ready to go to grad school.
I graduated Magna Cum Laude with my Bachelor’s Degree in History in May of 2008. With that I was given the opportunity to finish my schooling at George Washington University in Washington D.C. It was prestigious, at least in regards to working in the museum industry. A degree from there would open many doors for me. My family threw a large graduation party, only because my cousin Karim had also graduated from Yale - top of his class and in molecular biology. When it was our chance to give our thank you speeches he went first, telling everyone about his plans to become a surgeon and bring our family name up in the world. When it was my turn to give one, I simply thanked my mother and father for pushing me to my absolute limit in getting my degree. I can still see my father sighing and taking a long swing from his drink.
Leaving the area was the best decision I made in life, I felt like I finally became my own person in Washington D.C. It was a nice change of pace to be surrounded by people who loved history just as much as I did. Those two years of my life went by quickly, and before I knew it, it was time to defend everything I had been working on since I could remember. My thesis was a continuation of everything I had read up on since I was young, it was something I grew to be passionate about and protected at all cost. When I was hit with the questions from everyone in the group, I instantly had an answer as soon as it was asked. My professors were impressed, proud, and everything else that they should be. When I returned the news to my parents, they expressed some sort of happiness - just not to the same extent.
I came home for a week after I walked across the stage one last time. My mother insisted on throwing another graduation party despite my pleas not to. It wasn’t nearly as big, and most of the people there used it as an excuse to drink without judgement at four in the afternoon. I hid in my room for most of it, reading my own thesis for the hundredth time to myself. Despite what everyone else thought of my degree, this was something I could be proud of for the rest of my life. I was asleep when I heard a faint knock on my door, and without warning Kathleen Robinson entered my room. She expressed how sorry she was that Scott and Elisabeth couldn’t attend, citing that they both were at different parts of the world. I didn’t really care, considering I had lost contact with Lizzie after she hastily made a decision to move to Brazil and do missionary work. I couldn’t tell how drunk Mrs. Robinson was, but she seemed so sure of herself when she started coming on to me. Despite my best efforts to push her away, we ended up together that night.
I tried to stay in Washington for as long as I could, getting a mediocre job during my first summer out of school. Money became too tight, my loans were starting to collect up, ultimately it forced me to move back home. I was thankful that a former professor pulled some strings to get me a manager’s position at the Museum of the American Revolution back at home. During my time at home Mrs. Robinson continued to show her interest in me by coming over every day to “speak to my mother.” When she went to the kitchen that's when her true intentions started, telling me how handsome I’ve gotten over the years, how she’s missed me, stuff that made my skin crawl at first. The more she came over, the more comfortable I got with her. She ultimately won this sick game she created with me through persuasion, all while her family and my mother and father remained clueless on it.
I lost any remaining respect I had for myself in those few months. Any time I tried to breakaway she pulled me back in, telling me I would be worthless without her. I started to believe her, even going as far as agreeing with what she was telling me. I am worthless. Hopeless. No one could ever love me like she did. I started lying to my parents as to where I was, and when they questioned I argued that I was an adult and could go wherever I pleased. If Mr.Robinson was away on a business trip, it was almost expected I would come over. That first year back home is almost a blur to me now, one that would continue to haunt me for the rest of my life.
Elisabeth finally came home, and with nowhere to go she moved back in with her parents. Things got complicated from there. Her mother tried to find different ways to invite me over, later at night, during my lunch, sometimes she would come to my house unannounced and demanded my attention. My cracking point was when Lizzie invited me out to lunch one day and told me that she missed me. She said that the last few years had helped her anger issues in many ways and she was ready to move on. She kissed me then, and unlike her mother it was genuine, sweet, like she actually did love me. That night I informed her mother I was done playing her little game. To my surprise, she was okay with it. My life seemed to go right for a little bit. I was doing better at my job, Lizzie and I were in love, and more importantly we were officially getting our own place together. Her mother never said a word to me, even when I was over at her house to see her daughter. It was like something about us moving forward startled her, and after a year and a half of us being together - she broke the news while I was helping her pack. She didn’t believe her at first, but when I didn’t deny my actions she grew disgusted and kicked me out. Our little bit of happiness was cut short.
I couldn’t stay in Philadelphia any longer. I had to move back to the place that had given me the closest thing I had to peace in my life. I was given a chance to come back when Ford’s Theater called me in for an interview, practically giving me that job the second I walked in. With my life in full swing once again, I took what little pride I had left and ran away from home.
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