schizowitchic - Tumblr blog

schizowitchic · 6 minutes

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OK SO . in the above text i talk abt a guy having a crush on me n getting my snap etc.

anyways so in like november he stopped responding to my messages, and whilst my ego was a bit upset it was like. okay great i don't have to deal with the crisis this causes (also he's not like. a great person. could do better etc.). but in like january he followed me on insta and i was like yeah whatever. he starts liking my posts within 20 minutes of me posting and it was like "Alright mixed messages but you do you". then i find out he's removed me on snap?? which is confusing to say the least

ANYWAY then at another party in march he was flirting with this girl loadssss but the thing is that she's super nice and he .... isn't really. and it's like. i feel bad for her. she could do so much better and i feel like she's gonna get hurt over it. i don't even know her. but she could honestly do so much better .

also im currently watching them flirt or whatever!! on a personal level i do NOT care but the npd in me misses the attention

hhhhhh so the party drama is basically: only ppl who remembered their ids could get served (or like. actually had em in the first place. i don't have one) but loads of ppl went for pre-drinks anyway so it was pretty much "act as sober as possible so the hired bouncers actually let you in". so like fast forward 2 hours into the night, some mutual-friend-ish people start completely going off on one of my close friends (about something they willfully made a bad faith jnterpretation of what she said), i had to chase her down the street bc she ran away crying and i caught up, we had to spend a decent amount of time calming her down, went on a big long walk around the town bc i used to live there so i knew where to go. came back and it was mainly fine bc there was only like an hour left before it closed. arrived back for a really fucking good song. anyway a friend of friend also went through major drama with her friends, my friends boyfriend got two hip flasks confiscated which was whole thing (got them back at the end of the night). at the end of the night when everyone was standing around waiting to get picked up it was basically a bunch of people like "who has a lighter!!!!" and a circle of them attempting to light cigarettes. spoke to ppl i never normally speak to, guy I've known since i was six found out i vaped/drank and seemed to be going through it (everyone is always so shocked?) and i took a couple drags of my friends cigarette to really complete the image. two of my friends tried smoking for the first time. there was apparently someone who had had a crush on some girl for ages and he finally made his move at the end of the night so everyone was not subtly watching to see what happened. apparently there's a whole "breakdown of all the shit that happened" scheduled for monday. oh, and apparently the guy who was surprised i was doing typical party shit told my friend + her boyfriend he had a ccrush on me (my friend instantly ran over to tell me under the guise of wanting a vape/giving me vodka so rip to him. i don't think he knows i know). honestly he has like. not much of a chance considering im a) an emotional brick wall b) he seems to be nicer when he's tipsy than when he's sober c) im aromantic and i haven't decided if id want a relationship at all or not and d) last night was the first major conversation we'd had in a good few years and he doesn't speak to me normally. so im kinda gonna have to root for him on this since his chances are so low. it's kinda funny (i said to my friend that her bf could give him my snap if he really wanted bc it would be funny to see how this plays out). also someone got kicked out pretty much instantly and some people had definitely taken stronger shit than alcohol, either that or they were just incredibly incredibly wasted. also props to the bar staff + bouncers for putting up with a room full of teens yelling the wap, baseline junkie, before he cheats, and low at the top of their lungs. and i have no idea how some people didn't freeze in their outfits. and someone was wearing a giant inflatable penis costume. so yeah monday is gonna be interesting

#long post #personal #nyxie be quiet challenge #feel like i need to make it clear that i am not interested in this guy #but i was interested in the attention . so it lowkey feels like ive been thru it

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schizowitchic · 4 days

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my friend decided she wanted to do nyt connections on my phone and used up 2 of my mistakes and completely fucked it up for me so i didn't get to do it and now im really mad at her but it's super irrational so i can't show that

#nyxie be quiet challenge

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schizowitchic · 5 days

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npd + autism culture is wanting to be the cool mysterious funny version of yourself you have in your head but making everyone uncomfortable because of the autism anyway (i didn't word this correctly rjduwjs)

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schizowitchic · 6 days

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i hate that autistic people have a rep for being mean to the people around us because in my experience, we are way nicer to our friends than they are to us

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schizowitchic · 6 days

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this is sending me

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schizowitchic · 7 days

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npd culture is hating liking popular things... like shit this thing i like is rlly popular which means i won't be special or be able to brag about how i liked it before anyone else ?? what the fuck!!!!

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schizowitchic · 7 days

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if the pain isn't my fault then why do I feel guilty?

(society has led you to believe you are a burden for needing help)

I want to love my body but some days I hate it

(your body is trying its best to keep you going, but I understand why you feel that way)

I want to pause everything, I don't want to feel like this anymore

(me too. maybe we could just sit together for awhile?)

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schizowitchic · 8 days

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do not understand people who get bored of seeing common animals. understand even less when they act with annoyance or hostility just because they're common animals. a deer or a sparrow or a field mouse is like a sunset to me

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schizowitchic · 8 days

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save me from petty friendship drama please. why must this happen to me. im about to start throwing hands

there's three ppl who we have known for a while but only recently properly joined our "group", except 2 of them are highly .... problematic, shall we say, (L & S) and pick fights with everyone. and ive never felt fully comfortable. the third (E) is ... i know she joins in with the petty stuff but a lot less and she's easier to talk to (plus i have the bias of being best friends with her from the ages of 3 to 10)

anyway on friday they deliberately picked a fight on the groupchat with one of our friends (K)(who we are a lot closer to tbh but don't see as often due to scheduling difficulties) bc they fell out with her in December. L & S pretty much only ever go on the groupchat to start shit with her, and K's gotten good at ignoring it, through the interventions of me and another friend, I (mainly I. I feel bad for her bc she's really caught in the middle and both sides message her when shit happens)..

K removed L and S from the groupchat, but E added them back, then K removed all three, which honestly took care of the problem, but then A messaged E privately (A is also hardly ever on the groupchat and she really shouldn't have gotten involved) to ask why she did that, because A doesn't seem to have picked up that E will fully and absolutely enable & join in with L and S. this prompted S to send an awful voice message to A on E's phone, saying shit like "Why are you being so immature, we weren't being hostile it was just a joke, believe what you want to believe, enjoy your little groupchat" and stuff along that vein (Me and I were hanging out at this point, A sent the voicemail to K who sent it to I)

it's just so hypocritical, because L and S especially are constantly pulling shit like this, being immature and petty (They've started the habit of making fun of me to my face because they've picked up that I struggle to interpret tone, reality, and whether they are joking or not). they're always at the centre of every drama, make it about themselves and always paint themselves as the victims, never admit that their behaviour patterns are wrong and that they harm people

(side note, but L actually makes me and I feel very uncomfortable, and neither of us realised we both were super uncomfortable with how she acts - constantly making sexual jokes about the two of us that get way too explicit (because we shared a hotel room once and winked at each other AS A JOKE), she touches us (usually just on the hand/arm but with the implications of inappropriate undertones) even when we express discomfort and ask her to stop, she still invades our boundaries. neither me or I are particularly touchy-feely, I is a lot more averse to touch than me, and we didn't realise that this actually probably constitutes harassment of some sort until friday. which is. a fun realisation)

anyway we thought we'd leave the situation be since we knew we wouldn't be seeing them over the weekend, and we have other friends who stayed out of it and don't have as much knowledge of the situation (N, M, Y, T, C)

which brings us to now. where L and S pretty clearly seem to be ignoring us in person (like we have some sort of obligation to get involved and take their side in drama they started?? they tried to get I involved when it happened but she told them she didn't want to get caught in the middle). E seem to be ignoring us, but she has actually spoken to me a bit, about general stuff

so yeah. fuck my life.

#personal #vent #nyxie be quiet challenge #l is rhe same person who bisexual erasures me #and really fetishises wlw stuff #which .... migjt be obvious from this lmao #her excuse is that she struggles with her sexuality but honeslty im starting to believe she just homophobic #she identifies as straight so she is just being homophobic tbh #god forbid she own up to that though