The Most Precious Gift | Miyu (ft. Hime) | Epilogue
There was so much more Miyu had to say. So much more she wanted to say. But she couldnât manage the words. She was just an absolute wreck, crumpled up in a ball, desperately forcing herself to stay close to the mirror. To hear, and see everything else being said. Her last moments.
Miyu wanted to thank Shigure. She wanted to apologize. For not being able to live her life, for never truly getting to know her as much as she wanted to. But she couldnât manage any of them.
She could at least see her off with a smile as well, right? She could manage that much, right?
As everything starts to fade out, her eyes dart around, looking for Hime-
Seconds march into the past⌠The moments pass⌠And just like that, they're gone.
---
Miyu opened her eyes, blinking quickly. Where was she, exactly? Everything felt blurry, in the midst of that haze of not knowing that gripped one when waking up from a vivid nightmare. But this? This felt particularly heavier than normal. In her experience, focusing on the things you know around you was a good way to ground yourself. This was. A classroom. A⌠shrine? Huh. A shrine. Familiar faces from behind, and- Oh, Koune was here, her tentmate on this fun little trip they were on!
Wait, no, that wasnât. That wasnât her real name. Her thoughts were swamped with memories from this nightmare. The red slowly fading from her hair over time, and the light slowly fading from her eyes.Â
It all felt muddled, but still so real. Dreams (and nightmares) usually faded quickly after waking up, but this⌠the more she thought about it, the more she could recall those days from her nightmare with near-perfect clarity. But there was still a gap between them and this life, this world. One that she was struggling to process. And judging by the confused glances, she wasnât the only one.Â
Takako-sensei was here⌠Something awful had attacked her, in her nightmare. And then she came back? And she has a sister who is also dead? Okay, she was a bit fuzzy on what all happened there, letâs not think too hard about that. There was also another face that felt familiar, yet not so.Â
Kaz⌠Kazunari? He was here all along. He was more than just a janitor. That was a connection she couldnât deny⌠He pulled her out of Hell, and gave her a chance to get to know everyone in this dream of hers. She wouldâve been so lost otherwise. How much did he remember of that, she wondered?Â
That distance between her memories and this reality was still holding strong.
She followed along quietly as Kaz led them out of the room, struggling with the fog in the back of her mind. And as they came through to the pool area, her eyes were met withâŚ
A mermaid?
"We'll get out of here, I'm sure of it! A-And... when we do, I'd love to come and see you perform, yeah?"
A bitter girl?
"I guess she cared enough to give you a better life, since she couldn't be bothered to give you that herself."
No, a friend.
âThank you for being so kind to me, andâŚthank you for being my friend too.â
In the end, there was no denying that Shigure was at the core of this dream of hers. The reason why she woke up at all, why she was even here. She had so many thoughts bouncing around in her head, seeing Shigure back here, as a mermaid spirit. Remembering the girl named Shigure who was killed years ago, and sparked legislation reforming the idol industry. Remembering the girl sheâd gotten to know a bit after her own death in this dream of hers.
The distance between her memories and this reality was faltering, but still holding out.
Rei, and GB, other faces she recognized from her dream. Others who were distinctly supernatural. And with the girl she remembered as Shigure being a mermaid spirit now, it was⌠a lot. Her head hurt.
---
Some time later, she found a quiet space in one of the old classrooms just to sit and think. It was a lot. So many emotions to process, so many memories⌠So much to just work through to be honest. She had died. Her spirit had been rescued and bound to the closet down below. Sheâd spent a fair bit of time living as a spirit, and getting to know so many others. If someone had been telling her this story without context she never wouldâve believed it. But there was just enough around her now; she couldnât deny it. So why was she struggling to accept it? That was her biggest struggle right now.
She slipped a hand into her pocket, and pulled out her locket. All sheâd wanted, judging from her memories, was to make sure this locket made it back to her mother. To thank her for the most precious gift sheâd ever been given, the gift of safety, of a loving, supportive family. But now? What was she supposed to do now? It felt like there was something she was supposed to say, to do, but she couldnât put a finger on it.
The door to the classroom opened behind her, and she nearly fell out of her seat with a start. What? What?? What on earth-? When she spun around to look at the intruder, her eyes widened, and she froze.Â
Himeyuri. The one sheâd met as Erza, a standoffish and cold writer. But that wasnât her. Himeyuri had such a profound warmth within, that had warmed Miyuâs own heart in such a cold time. Feelings she could never forget, dream or not.
The gap between her memories and this reality came crashing down, and Miyu laughed. It all made sense now.
âItâs⌠Itâs⌠Oh my god, itâs perfect. Itâs the exact opposite, isnât it, Hime-chan? Of how we met! You remember, right?â She stood up to greet her, pendant in hand. And yet, she couldnât help but shuffle her feet. She didnât want to⌠jump the gun. Just in case Hime didnât remember.
But of course she remembered. Her instant surprise melts into a soft expression, a small smile resting on her face. Ah, how it was warm. âItâs just like then, except Iâm not chasing you out of here.â A small, light laugh. âOf course I remember.â
âBut I⌠It took me way too long, to realize. To process all this. Iâm. Iâm sorry, I am.â She nodded quickly. âI thought that Iâd never get a gift more precious to me than my family, but now, I⌠I think I have. I think I really have.â
Though as Miyu continues to speak, Hime grows rather silent. âAn apology? You⌠you donât have to apologize for anything, Miyu-â She begins, before stopping herself once more, raising an eyebrow at the implications.
Miyu stepped forward.
âHime, I⌠I want to thank Shigure-chan, for everything. A-And then, I want to thank Rei-san, and Kaz, and GB⌠A-And then-â She instinctively took Himeâs hands in hers. âI-I want to get to know you, too, properly- A-And I want you to get to know me too, y-yeah? I-I know Iâm not great at this, b-but I want to try- We have so much time now, and I⌠I donât want to waste any of it!â
As Miyu takes Himeâs hand, she jolts a little bit, a soft rose color taking over her cheeks. All these thank yous, all this noise, she just stares at Miyu for a moment. Warm, bright, how the sun welcomes spring. â....Iâm very lucky w-we got this second chance.â She hums. âWe promised to get to know each other, all the way back then, and n-nowâŚâ
Was she warm? Miyuâs cheeks had flushed pink as well. After all, they could now do this, both alive and ready to live. The implication was sinking in, but she was determined. They had promised each other, and now⌠NowâŚ
Another small laugh, beaming. âWe now have the time. I⌠I would love to get to know you more. W-what you like, and your friends, and your family, a-and-â Deep breath. âJust⌠everything, really.â Her first friend here, now holding her hand. Hime was lucky, lucky that their first meeting didnât chase her away. To get this second chance⌠her eyes remained alight.
Miyuâs grin widened. The clouds had cleared, and the sun was shining once more. And with that warmth around them, Miyu led the way, keen on making up for the time she felt sheâd lost once their memories had returned. Never once letting go of Himeâs hand the whole time.
I donât want to waste a single moment of this precious gift that Shigure Momoshiro gave meâŚ
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Daffodil || Epilogue 3
âThe moment I regained consciousness here, I set out to find Momoshiro-san, which was a lot easier than I expected it to be. Turns out G.B. brought her soul to his village immediately after, and one thing led to another...â Kazâs voice trails off as he notices another presence behind you. âAh, there you are. I was wondering if youâd be coming along.â
âYou started without me?â A bark could be heard under the voice. Seeing G.B. in reality was a little strange. He never belonged in this world to begin with. How the hell did Elle think he was a normal dog for all of those years? How did the people around her?
âI considered asking her to stay in the village, but the pond would never have been enough for her. Lucky for me, I knew a pod of mermaids that were happy to take on new members. Theyâre a helpful lot. I didnât even have to bribe them this time.â The okuri inu pads over to the group, heading to the edge of the water and lowering his head with the understanding he was going to be getting pets.
For everyone else, it would have only been a short amount of time since theyâd all last seen each other, but for Shigure, it had been two long years. Two years of learning how to be a ningyo. Two years away from her friends and reflecting.
And during that time, she had awaited this moment to reunite with all of them once again, uncertain of how they would think or feel, but she had known one thing with certainty.
And that was how incredibly embarrassing this all was. All the bittersweet goodbyes and sobs, all to just meet again less than a few hours later for them. It seemed so overly dramatic now.
Shigure looks slightly awkward as she stares at everyone, but thereâs a real smile on her face. She places her arms on the side of the pool and gazes at the group.
What will they think of her like this? What will Yumeko think? Sheâd pondered that question many times in the last two years.
âHey, everyone...â Shigure laughs a bit sheepishly. âLong time no see...â Well, for her anyway. âI, ah, never expected something like this either, but Geebee really helped me out. He introduced me to the other mermaids. Ren, Kallie, Yuri, Lily, and Mimmy have taken great care of me... So these last few years havenât been lonely.â
âGood. I trusted them with you, so they better have been nice.â GB nudges Shigureâs arm for pets and attention. âYou smell like the ocean now...â
âAhah! Iâd be a little worried if I didnât, considering Iâve been swimming around in it the last two years.â She nervously twirls a piece of hair around her fingers and her eyes flit over to Yumeko and then away. âI was even able to cut my hair like I wantedâŚI didnât have to ask for permission or anything.â It still feels so surreal that sheâs even able to do that now. âDo you like it...?â
Itâs clear what she really means to say is âDo you like me?â
The moment is interrupted when another set of footsteps breaks the quiet hold over the group. Turning, the familiar sight of Rei could be caught in the doorframe: their appearance shockingly similar to the one you all had grown accustomed to. Their skin seemed softer and more flushed in this state, and it was difficult to imagine them as that rotting doll that surely resided back in the school archives by now.
âI see that Iâm just on time, a-as usual.â They smile fondly to Shigure then the rest of the group as they take their place beside G.B. and Kaz. Even if their appearance hardly changed, their demeanor certainly did. âI-It is... good to see you all together again. Truthfully, I did not know what to expect to feel after the Rite. The threads have shifted... Iâve never seen that before.â
Rei lets out the unfamiliar sound of an airy chuckle. Some of you may have been certain before this that they lacked the ability to laugh as they lean their head up to the now taller Kaz.
âYou were right... Just this once. I-Iâll give you that.â
Kneeling down, Rei offers their other friend head scratches. A placid little smile crosses their face while they turn their attention to the group.
âWherever you all will travel now, d-do know that the three of us will be within reach. I believe all of us will be lingering around for some time. Your nightmare may have ended, but your school year has just begun.â
Kaz nods, finally relaxing for the first time in a long time. âItâs all up to you now. But I think youâll be okay.â
And the future looked that much brighter now, didnât it? You had your lives to look ahead to and the reassurance that the worst was behind you. Maybe your paths would diverge, maybe they would continue crossing, but you had a path to forge ahead with. It was time to make it count.
âOh, though speaking of, Kaz-â One last time, Reiâs single eye trails up to the heron spirit.
âJust thought it prudent to warn you. The furbies are headed this way.â
SEVEN SECRETS UNVEILED - GOOD END ACHIEVED
15/15 STUDENTS + 1 NINGYO
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Water Lily || Epilogue 2
âThat being said,â Kaz glances around, counting heads. âFourteen. Wyss-san should still be in their tent, last I checked up on them. Sleeping just a bit longer. Would you all follow me?â
Youâre maybe a little cautious, but then an inkling of thought comes to mind. What would Kaz want with all of you that he wouldnât need Willow for? And how could he sound so... content? The answer is obvious, and some of you almost rush to the door in response.Â
He leads you out of the classroom, and to the west. Past the canteen area, into the opened-up west wing of the first floor, something you hadnât been allowed to enter last night, and all those nights before. You knew the rooms here like the back of your hand, but itâs certainly a little odd seeing them all run-down and rotting, a far cry from the clean floors in the spirit realmâs version.
Into the changing rooms, and you feel the slight tug in the back of your mind that is almost familiar. Thereâs spirit activity here, and soon enough, you arrive at the swimming pool. The rest of the room is still grimy and dusty, but the pool has been filled with clean, almost sparkling water.
It makes seeing the figures in the depths almost effortless, and while you immediately recognize Inko-chan the baby akkorokamui almost immediately, the other figure in the water...
âIâll, ah, save Koyanagi-san the explanation. Momoshiro-san is now, as you can perhaps guess, a ningyo, or a mermaid spirit.â
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Morning Glory || Epilogue 1
The faint sunlight filters through the windows of the classroom. Weird, you were pretty sure you went to sleep in your tent last night. No, you were in a shrine. You wake up, and look around. There was a look of confusion from everyone in the room. And you were two short. Willow was probably in their tent and... Shigure. She was... She was...
You remember her disappearing into light.
Everything floods back in suddenly. Two sets of memories hit you with all the grace of an over-excited puppy. In one, you remember how life had gone, up to the point the night ended.
But now you have memories of the changes made to Japan in the last two years. Ever since Shigure Momoshiro was left unguarded, attacked, and murdered by a stalker, there had been a change in the laws regarding the idol industry. You remember as well, even if you werenât here, that your sensei had mentioned that the fallout had been one of the biggest cases of her career. The dregs of the idol industry hadnât been toppled, not by a long shot, but it had been forced into accountability for everything the brass had been guilty of.
Two sets of memories, each as true as the last. Itâs a headache to remember that some of this happened and some of it would only be remembered by those of you here. Itâs painful.
Takako stirs at the front of the class, mumbling about being too old to sleep at her desk. She pushes herself up, as if looking for someone, but then the sadness rolls over. She turns from the class, unable to meet your gazes and finds herself staring at the blank chalkboard. The letters once burned in, marring its surface, had been wiped away as if they were never there.
â...What a fucking joke.â
A knocking at the door startles you, but a familiar voice carries through. âI certainly hope not, Takako-sensei. Youâre usually meant to laugh at jokes.â
The person who enters doesnât look like the Kaz you remember, but the soft blonde hair and smile make it immediately obvious whoâs addressing you. âThough I suppose... Thereâs just enough to smile about, now that itâs over. Welcome back.â He tilts his head, before nodding. âYouâre wondering about the new look, I suppose? Well, the Kaz before tonight knows that he must have used the Rite at some point since it disappeared two years ago, and decided to have a makeover because of it. I will be keeping Kazunari in my heart, but Iâve made my peace too.â
He shakes his head. âIn any case, how do you all feel?â
âLike shit, Kazzy. Just because I got seven of my students back doesnât mean the one gone doesnât hurt.â Takako placed a hand on her chest. âFucking hell. You remember still, right?â
Kaz nods. âI do. As do the others. Your sister is downstairs with G.B., incidentally, though her presence back in the human realm is limited, at best.â
âThank goodness. Fuck, thatâs shitty of my to be worried about it, but I really didnât want to hunt her spirit down to make her remember I care about her.â
The human realm... As much as some of you had missed your time spent in the spirit realm, there really was no place like home.Â
It was just unfortunate that not all of you had made it.
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Return to Seafoam || Endgame Pt. 2
It was difficult to be brave in the face of reliving your worst fear. But she couldnât run away from this now. Shigureâs head felt fluffy, like it was spinning in circles. She didnât know if that was out of fear, or due to the Rite, but either way, it kept her feet planted firmly on the ground.
The scene went the same as she remembered, down to the last detail. She was given a brief break. As soon as she grabbed her water bottle, she heard the patter of rain on the roof settle to a halt. With the promise of fresh air, sheâd gone out through the back door, followed closely by a security guard.
Satsuki insisted. She must be followed at all times, lest she run away again. Like she even could. Her practice building was surrounded by chain link fences on all sides. She hated feeling so stifled, but she knew better than to complain.
Sheâd been staring up at the sky, watching the clouds pass idly by. The sun was finally coming back out and the rain had ended. A good omen.
And then there was a crash inside the practice building, and yelling. Some sort of commotion. The security guard looked at her, then to the door, and frowned. He seemed to consider, for just a moment, before speeding back inside the building. He foot pushed the rock keeping the door open, and it closed behind him with a decisive click, signifying the automatic lock slipping into place.
At the time, she hadnât thought much of it, just content she had more peaceful time away from people and able to gaze up at the sky. She didnât know how much time passed like that, just watching the clouds pass idly by, but what snapped her out of it was the sound of approaching footsteps.
Ah. Oh dear, she was late getting back to practice, wasnât she? Well, how was she supposed to know that? Her security guard had dipped and the door was locked. Shigure peeked up, expecting to see the angry expression of her manager, but instead, there was a man. Shigure didnât know him, but she could swear there was something familiar about it. A passing face in a crowd, maybe, something sheâd seen in the corners of her vision. Nobody she knew, but recognizable.
So it was happening already. Shigureâs heart pounded in her chest. Fear. She wanted to run, run far away from this man, but it wasnât time yet.
She wasnât supposed to run yet.
There was nothing noteworthy about the man. He couldâve been anyone. Nothing special, but nothing that should raise alarm bells. Swathed in dark clothing, a black hoodie, and that god awful black cap that shadowed his eyes. He was just a normal man, but to Shigure, he looked like a monster.
â...Can Ran help you?â Shigure asked. Just like sheâd done the first time. Tentative, yet cheerful. She felt like she was choking on her own breath, but it sounded so painfully natural.
The man didnât reply. He crept closer, closer, so sinisterly closer, and she was so afraid. Why? Why did she have to relive this? Couldnât they just cut to the part where she was already stabbed?
But no, that was too easy, wasnât it? The onryo was just as much born from this moment as they were from her death.
Shigure took a step back as the man closed in. She glanced behind her. There was no escape route. She already knew. Sheâd relived that day countless times in her head. She knew there was nowhere to run. Heâd already cornered her.
And then he was gripping her shoulders and she involuntarily gasped and he was shaking her and she couldnât breathe. Oh my god, she couldnât breathe. Help her. Please, someone help her. Not like this. She didnât want it to happen like this.
(cw: slurs)
The manâs words came out, harsh and manic, almost devolving into gibberish, âYou used to be so pure, but theyâve ruined you. Youâre just a little slut now, flaunting your body for all those other men. Didnât you know youâre supposed to be mine?! Youâre dirty now! Youâre unclean!â
She didnât know him. She didnât belong to him. His touch was repulsive. She felt disgusting. Stop it. Stop. Stop. Get away from her!
âDonât touch me!â
It was instinctive to push him off. Maybe things wouldâve been different if sheâd stood prone, but she pushed him away. She was always meant to.
The manâs face morphed into rage, a manic and unpleasant expression.
âNo!â he yelled. âItâs Ran. Ran.â
âNo! Get away!â she yelled.
The man pulled a black switchblade from his hoodie pocket and pointed it towards her. She felt her heart sink to her stomach with dread. No, no, please god no. Sheâd rather stab herself.
She had to remind herself that it was fine, that she chose this. She was going to die by her own choice and on her own terms. Even if this man was the hand behind the knife, it was a sacrifice sheâd chosen to make.
âI knew it! Youâre so filthy now! Youâre not pure like my Ran!â the man yelled. He waved the knife and continued to spew manic and crazy statements. Possessive, disgusting, creepy. Barely even human.
Shigure reached for the door handle and wiggled on it frantically. Locked. She already knew it would be.
That captured the manâs attention and he looked impossibly more angry.
âAre you trying to run away from me?â the man asked.
âN-No, please! Get away!â
Even as she frantically banged on the door, nobody would come. She already knew, but she still couldnât stop herself from doing it. Hoping above all hopes that that gods would just take pity on her and strike her down with lightning. Anything so she didnât have to die like this.
The man gripped her by the shoulder, forcibly yanking her away from the door. Shigure squeezed her eyes shut and braced for impact.
Just like a punch. It felt just like a punch, at first, and then he twisted the knife inside of her. Shigure let out a loud cry of pain.
Under the manâs breath, he muttered, âNow nobody else can dirty youâŚyouâll always be mine...â And then he ripped the knife out of her stomach.
When Shigure looked down, it was to a bouquet of red blooming from her stomach. She held her hand up against her stomach, checking it, and then held her hand to examine. Drenched in blood. Perhaps it was the sight of it, or maybe it was because she was already rapidly losing too much blood, but her knees wobbled and she fell to them.
Through dizzy eyes, she watched as the man took a few hasty steps back, and then he dropped the knife to the ground. She blinked. And he was running. Disappearing into the horizon. And then he was gone entirely, because she was looking up at the sky.
At some point, she ended up on her back. And she stared up at the sky.
Ah. So this was it. She was alone again.
What had she been thinking about back then? About what sheâd do if she lived. About becoming an advocate for idols. How funny a dream that was. She hadnât even been able to advocate for herself. A dream sheâd dropped before it could even begin. About how badly she wanted to see the ocean, just as herself for once, without all the cameras and costumes. That wish had failed too. And back then, how sheâd felt relieved, that she could finally sleep, but then that fear crept back in. She hadnât wanted to die alone.
Shigure felt a little wet tongue lap at her cheek and it took all of her energy to even tear her eyes away from the sky and to turn her gaze.
âAh... Geebee... youâre here...â Her words were slurred, tired. Sleepy. But seeing his sad little puppy eyes made her chest clench and tears well up in her eyes. She wasnât going to be alone.
âItâs okay, Shigure. I am here. Iâll stay with you, for as long as you need. This is not the end. I wonât let you fade.â
She felt his warm little body curl up into her side. Ah. When had she gotten so cold?
She looked back up to the sky. The clouds were still floating on by. With the sunset spilling down, the orange sky looked quite beautiful.
â...Itâs cold...â Shigure whispered.
âTake as much warmth as I can give you.â His little body radiated it. âIâm sorry that I canât do more.â
âMm.â It was getting harder and harder to blink. Her eyelids felt so heavy. She just wanted to look at the sky. âNe... Geebee. The others... I already miss them... I want to hold Ricchanâs hand...â
âWeâll have to bring her to you. Maybe back at the village, or would you rather go to her? Whichever you like.â Could she even still hear him?
âA...ha...they already know. Iâm...sure they already...know, but...tell Yuyu that I...that I...lo...ve...â
Her words trailed off and her eyes slipped shut. It was over. Shigure was gone, leaving behind only the scent of blood and rain.
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Rite of Dawn's Light || Endgame Pt. 1
They could only wait so long. Whether it was because the long night was starting to end, or the onryo letting out a bored yawn at being made to wait, Shigure eventually disentangles herself from the group of people holding onto her.Â
She looks at the onryo. You'd think after everything that had happened, after all the onryo had done, Shigure would hate the onryo just a little bit more. But she just can't bring herself to do it. Not completely.
It's a repulsive and horrible creature, but it's still a part of her. The worst parts of herself personified into a singular being. Rather than hatred, she just feels pity. For so long, Shigure had hated herself with her whole heart. It was no wonder the onryo hated her with that same intensity. But as easy as it was to hate that strongly, it had only caused insurmountable damage. Pain to people who never deserved it. That much hatred did no good for anybody.
It's just a pity she's only learning this lesson now.
"...I can't forgive you for what you've put everyone through, but I can at least understand. I'm probably the only one that really can."
The onryo scoffs. "Oh, please. Not more of this sappy 'I can fix you' crap. It's especially disgusting coming from you."
Shigure just shakes her head. "No. You can't be fixed. And even if you could be, I wouldn't want to. You don't deserve that kindness. But your feelings... I understand those, it's just a shame you're not capable of feeling anything good either. I guess I just feel sorry for you."
"Ugh. I don't need your pity either. Just shut your mouth already, you little bitch. Don't you have some more crying to do? You're going to die a gruesome death soon, after all. At least make it fun for me," the onryo snarls.
"Yes, yes, you're getting what you want," Shigure sighs dismissively, waving the onryo off. It seems she's said most of what she wants already, so she doesn't intend to listen to much more. "In just a moment, we'll die together. Just like you've wanted from the start. You've won, so at least keep your mouth shut until then."
The onryo looks like they're prepared to continue spewing their venom, but something stops them. What that is, it's hard to tell, but maybe the closest thing to kindness you'll ever see from them.
In the background, wisps of magic flowed from Labyristaâs tails as she whispered memory spells, flowing into all of you in the room and throughout the places beyond. Kaz withdrew the box from inside his haori, opening it and retrieving the scroll within, unfurling it in the center of the room. You all could feel it now, the thrum of magic that had previously been contained within the ink of the scrollâs content, unsealed and ready to change the fates of everyone here.
âIâm ready, Momoshiro-san,â Kaz asserts. âIâve never seen the Rite be used, so Iâm not sure whatâs going to happen. This could be instantaneous, so brace yourself.â
Once everyone has settled, he closes his eyes, and holds out his palms over Shigureâs palms. âOrder. Arayashiki: GyĹkĹ.â Pure Consciousness: Dawnâs Light.
Magic flows from Kazâs hands through Shigureâs and into the parchment, causing the kanji to gleam with golden light. They coalesce together, words leaving the scroll and forming a ball in the center of the room between the two. Itâs almost too bright to look at.
The light begins expanding, slowly filling your field of view. The thrumming in your ears grows, almost like the beating of a heart. Energy pulses through the room as the light grows brighter, enveloping Shigure as she turns around.
It's her last chance to speak, to express her feelings to her friends, so Shigure smiles big and bright for all of her classmates. Tears stream down her cheeks, but there is no denying her smile is genuine. A smile filled with both parts melancholy and elation.
"Thank you all for giving me a chance. When we meet again someday... let's all become friends!"
And as she disappears into the light, your vision goes white, and your present ceases to exist.
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I'm Going To Start Doing That Now. I Want To Be Clear. | Robin | RE: Final Decision, Shigure's Wishes
"..."
Robin doesn't know what he would have chosen, in Shigure's position. With Shigure on the line, at least. If it had been him with an onryo, and him who had to die...the choice would've been at least a little easier. He at least had Ai to find him. He wouldn't be alone. But, Shigure...he wouldn't have tried to push her one way or the other, just that he didn't want to forget what happened here. She deserved freedom, a second chance, happiness down the road. But then, he couldn't argue that his six other classmates didn't deserve the same. He wouldn't be alone, and he was content to know that his friends were okay, so for once, he would actually be okay with either outcome. He'd made his peace.
But, hearing Shigure's decision... He's sorry it came to this. And he's sorry for the hurt he'd caused her, twice -- wait a minute, that computer display when he'd been corrupted, three times over.
He listens. That's all he can do for her at this moment. Listen to her, and heed her wishes. And hearing them...well, that gave him hope, because he heard things he could do to help.
"I...it feels wrong to thank you for this. It's sick, it's awful. It warrants gratitude, but...I wish you didn't have to die for this outcome. But, you've made your decision, and I don't have any right to influence what you do.
"So, instead I'll say...I won't waste this chance. I won't forget what I've learned here, and I'll move forward. I'll keep going, and I'll...improve..."
He trails off. Robin's mind moves to the next part of his sentiment before he finishes the first. Oops. Well, the positive character development was probably some reassurance.
"And, I'm positive I can help with your wishes too. I've got...well, you saw her. A friend on the other side, who's been around the block, and can almost certainly get your royalties going to your sister. And maybe get to your mother, give her what's coming to her.
"And, with your permission...I'll make sure you aren't forgotten. Make sure you'll be remembered as you are, not who they forced you to be."
He gives her one last look, before the Great Pyrenees who's been comforting him tackles him down for pets. "I'm glad that I got to know you as yourself, Shigure Momoshiro."
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youâll be visited by sleep || willow || re: final decision
Ah, so it was just him who chose to forget. Not like Willow was surprised, but being the sole person made his expression falter.Â
âIâm grateful for everything youâve all done for me since my passing. While Iâd like to say itâd be nice if I could return the favour once this is over, I know Iâll just be back to my old selfâI know Iâll end up treating you all like shit again. Iâm not asking anyone to stick around and just deal with it, butâŚI figured I should bring it up. Whatever I end up saying or doing, just know it isnât anything personal.â
Everyone else wanted to remember because they had fond memories. They didnât want to forget the people theyâd bonded with because they mattered to everyone, and losing such an important part of their lives would be even more painful. Right?Â
Willow paused to take a breath.Â
He didnât have anything like that. They didnât have friends or partners to miss, and they didnât have any happy memories of this place either. The only things heâd be taking with him were the knowledge that he murdered someone in cold blood and the miserable memories of carrying that guilt for what feels like forever.Â
There was no way he could go back home, look his family in the eyes, and live like he hadnât done such a monstrous thing.Â
They knew that was their own fault because they were the one who pushed everyone around them away, but they couldnât go back and change how theyâd acted. They couldnât deny that they were being selfish and a coward. Willow was painfully aware that they were taking Shigureâs selflessness for granted.Â
To have her sacrifice herself, while they couldnât be bothered to at least remember said sacrifice? It was pathetic, truly.
But he just couldnât live like this.Â
Willow grit their teeth as their throat tightened. Speaking was difficult and they didnât have much to say, but they did want to at least give some kind of response. â...Iâm not strong like you all. I canât power through it for the sake of honouring Shigureâs memory and the sacrifice sheâs making for our sake.â
Then he looked towards Shigure.
It was strangeâknowing that she would be giving her own life so that he, and the others, could live again. Well, he was aware that this decision wasnât one made because of him. He personally gave her no reason to make such a big sacrifice. No, this wasnât about him or whether he was âworthâ being saved like this.Â
She was doing this to save everyone. Not just the deceased but the living who were still trapped here.
Willow didnât have any right to tell Shigure what to do with her life, so he wasnât going to comment on whether he thought it was ârightâ. She chose this for herself, of her own will. He was going to accept that, despite the pit of guilt that weighed heavy on his chest. Willow hated owing people something, and now he owed someone else his lifeâsomeone he treated horribly up until now. Someone he didnât know at all, really.Â
While he obviously sympathized with her and the terrible circumstances she had to endure which lead to this moment, he couldnât say he felt much else aside from that basic human empathy. Again, he didnât know her. He couldnât cry for her, or offer apologies, or say heâd miss her.Â
âIâŚâ Willow clenched their jaw.
 And so, it felt strange. The pain in his chest was a selfish one, but it was real nonetheless.
All he could give her now was a strained, âThank you. Youâre a good person, Shigure.âÂ
Breathe, breathe, breatheâŚ
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The Only Thing | Kenta | Post-Decision
It was abundantly clear to Kenta what most everyone thought should happen. Even if it's not what that tiny, yet loud, part of him wanted. For as much as he didn't want his own existence to be at the expense of someone else, his regrets had only continued to pile up. If he only had a second chance, then maybe...
But he had quieted that part of him throughout the days he spent as a spirit, trying his best to come to terms with his own death, the fact that he had to drag another to their death because of his own stupidity, and the notion that he had died a bad son. His classmates, his friends, had helped him accept everything. So he was at peace with the idea of spending eternity in the village slowly forgetting what he was so sad to leave behind.
And then suddenly, there's a chance once again, and he almost wishes there wasn't. Because seeing everyone so staunchly argue for Shigure to live, he knows it's not what they mean, but he can't help but feel the ghost of that distance between him and his classmates throughout primary school, junior high, high school, Hope's Peak. The distance that had always, and perhaps always would, be there. Even after everyone helped him accept his fate, there remained a tiny, yet loud, part of him that felt bitter. Far more bitter than an orange like him had any right to be.
But he was never an orange, was he? He didn't love oranges, but he'd eat them with a smile. He actively disliked orange juice, but he'd still happily drink it, because that association was a glimmer of hope that maybe he could be loved and accepted by people. The orange was the Kenta Kowata that he needed to be for everyone else. Work himself to the bone, never accept any thanks, never acknowledge that he had wants and needs too, because he didn't deserve them.
He wonders if he had actually died back in high school, if he would have become an onryo too.
If that were the case, the decision would have been easier. If it was just him, if he was the only one, it would be the right thing to do to let himself go. The decision he'd made time and time again. And that's the decision everyone else agreed on, and so he braced himself. He was okay with it, really. He was okay.
So when Shigure makes her decision, the rug is torn out from under him in a way he can't even anticipate.
Eleanor had healed him not too long ago, finally ridding his lungs of water, but he feels like he can't breathe. It doesn't feel right, he feels like he'll start coughing up water anew. But that tiny, yet loud, part of him rejoices. He'll get to go home and see dad, be a better son, live the life he wished he could have lived.
And that's why he absolutely couldn't forget, no matter what. He couldn't blame Willow; thinking about it now, they're really the only one who went out of their way to snuff a life on purpose, right? If he hadn't changed, he might have wanted to forget how he felt, too. But if he forgets, he'd forget his friends, he'd forget the spirits, he'd forget Shigure, and he'd go back to the person he was before. That, to him, is worse than death.
âYou must get taken advantage of often, donât you?â
"...I-I'm not taken advantage of if I'm happy to make other people happy."
"...You're an idiot."
"...I know."
Kenta had chosen everything that happened to him (or so he had made himself believe). Shigure hadn't. She should hate him by now, and if it was just him, it would have been okay to leave him dead, right? Would she like him more if he chose to be selfish now? To be happy that he might get to live? He's spent so long as a spirit, he doesn't know what an alive Kenta Kowata is supposed to be like.
"...I..." His voice is rasp and hoarse. Like a person lost in a desert for years, about to have their first drop of water. "I'm not n-never gonna forget Shigure-san..." It's not fair. She deserved to be happy. "Somehow, I... I-I'll try an' do as much as I can... t'make the choice... worth it..."
Because there's very little he could do on his own, as insignificant as he is. Even with Shigure's words to Riley ringing just as true for himselfâto put himself first and let himself be happy, to be a little bit selfishâhe can't accept that as enough. That's just how he is, for as much as he's changed.
"...Before, I... was jealous of Shigure-san..." He admits. "I was jealous that... Shigure-san got to stop bein' like Ran-san, an' got to be accepted by everyone... I-It felt like... That could never happen t'me..."
He tries his best to give another smile. A real one, not the wide, dopey grins he used to deflect.
"...But... I-I'm not gonna waste it... I'm gonna... become someone that can be accepted... Someone that... I can accept.
"I-I'm gonna write, send pictures and stuff, too. An'... I wanna talk and meet with the spirits here too, i-if I can... I still really dun' get how this all works... But I dun' wanna say g-goodbye, ehe..." He doesn't get how some of them can essentially 'manifest' in reality and some can't. But he knows it to be true to an extent, so he'll take what he can get.Â
"Shigure-san..." 'Thank you' isn't quite right. "...I'm sorry." Not an apology from trying to claim the blame for anything, but from empathy.
He can't cry yet. When it's all over, and he hears his dad's voice on the other end of the phone...
Nope, even the thought makes the tears start to fall. So just for now, he'll allow himself to sob.
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what makes life worth living? || yuuto || re: the choice
Upon Shigureâs choice, itâs impossible to describe the plethora of emotions that he feels. A twisted, winding mess that simply leaves a heavy pressure to his chest, to the point where all he can really do is lean his head down onto the edge of the table, his forehead pressed against its side as he tries to catch his breath.
Close your eyes for a moment or two as you simply try to breathe. The world is spinning, as the promise of time reversing, the promise of undoing it all is upon you. How long have you desperately wished for this, the wish of returning home once more? That you would hear, feel that heartbeat once again?
All of this undone at the cost of a single life. But even if this entire story was started by you (you, who else could it have been?) did your life not have meaning either?
Silently, even though itâs cruel - a heartless, passing thought that makes the pressure worse, so much worse - he agrees with Kanekoâs words. Make it count, he had said, hadnât he? Make use of your decision to your fullest extent. Because deny it as everyone would like, every option here holds a sacrifice. Save four, but what does that say to those that are left behind. Are those not sacrifices too? They hadnât asked to die.
(But itâs not like you had asked for this either, right?)
Selfish. Heâd always been selfish. Figures that now that itâs been decided, he doesnât know how to proceed. And even as everything speeds up - anger, tears, wishes and requests that get shared on the trial grounds (thank you, thank you for being born) - he finally lifts his head. Yet, the words that need to be said die in his throat.
For what is there to say? Thank you, for choosing to die? Iâm sorry that weâll have to leave you behind? Iâll miss you, even though I donât know you? Everything sounds distasteful. Insincere. Artificial. Insulting.Â
The world was never meant to be fair. It was unforgiving. It was cruel. It clung into the darkest etches of your mind and grabbed on, never letting go until you were brought down with it.
But did that not make life not worth living through? Was there no meaning from ever being born at all? And even as the option was presented once again - choosing to forget it all, to leave it all behind, thereâs a moment where he does waver the slightest bit. Because given the option to forget, to reset it all - had this been him from the start, still living with the ghosts that constantly haunted him from the moment he woke up to the moment he slept, he doesnât doubt that itâs something he wouldâve taken in a heartbeat.
Now though, the thought of forgetting leaves him sick to his stomach. How could you even fathom forgetting, with what youâll inevitably leave behind? The memories that youâve created, how could you possibly choose to forget them all?
So he swallows, replaying Shigureâs request in his head slowly, carefully. Put your thought and care into it, even if itâs a lot at the moment.
â... Youâll be remembered as you are. Not out there, but as you are now. Your life still had meaning to it.â
If not for him, Shigureâs life still at least spoke in the hearts of others. From the teary smile that Yumeko emitted, to the hitched sobs that Riley shed, to how hard Chioko had fought for her to live, as well as the words of countless others - that had to have meant that your life had merit. That it meant something real.
And maybe in another life, he couldâve properly managed to understand you. From the moment he had met you, set his eyes upon the caricature that was Ran and not you, there had always been something that felt off to him. A lingering sort of guilt that festered in the corner of his consciousness that made you unapproachable to him, all the more ready to keep you right at armâs length. Itâs a cruel industry, he knows that, perhaps even seen bits and pieces of it himself. But heâs already dragged someone down with him, staining bits and pieces of an almost pristine reputation prior, so he wouldnât want to approach you either.
But at the very least, you managed to reach the hearts of the friends youâve made. A glimpse of what couldâve been, if life had just been a bit kinder. That has to mean something. He doesnât have it in him to resent anymore, nor does he either to forgive.
Because how could he resent you or be angry at you for simply living? Heâd be nothing but a hypocrite if he did. And now that youâve chosen to die, all thatâs left is this empty finality. Itâs ending now. This nightmare is finally ending. But at the cost of you.
So he wonât thank you for your choice, for choosing to die. Not when thereâs seven other lives at stake. Not when itâs such a distasteful thing to thank someone for. And neither will he say that he will miss you, because neither of you ever took the opportunity to know each other. But heâs seen bits and pieces of your journey, if not as a spectator, watching as you formed your first friendships among the bathroom stalls for the first time with an angel and a racecar driver.
Even then, that had been real. You couldnât fake that. Private conversations not meant for his ears, but knowing the context right now, heâs at least grateful that they became special enough in your life.
âYou were real, and you existed in peopleâs lives. I think that speaks for itself, Momoshiro-san.â
Take care, yea? Even if you become a distant memory, take care. Life moves on, and doesnât stop for anyone. Yet this time, even if he doesnât have to stamp his vote in unlike the prior reiterations, struggling to see through shaky hands as the ink smears the card (stamp it, why canât you stamp it?), this would be the last time they were going to send someone off to their death.
Miyu would be reunited with Himeyuri and her parents. Willow would lose their memories, but still be able to live on with their mom and best friend. Kenta would see his dad again. Ryou with his brothers and sisters. Robin and Yuka, with Kaneko, together at last.
And Wakaru, who would return. Finally, heâd be able to share the sky with them, if not for the jacket that was draped over their shoulders. A blobfish that sits in his tent will be able to return to his owner at last.
But all at the cost of your life.
Thank you, even if itâs selfish and cruel. If he canât bring himself to say it out loud, heâll let the words linger in his head instead.
In the end, thereâs no other words that he can utter for now, short sentences dying in his throat. To those that were fortunate enough to not have lost until this final moment, to say goodbye to a friend, to someone you love, how does it feel? It hurts, doesnât it. He wants to get rid of such tactless thoughts, this strange mix of hope, gratification, but emotional detachment as well.Â
Beseechingly, almost as though he needs the reassurance himself, he reaches out to hold the hand next to him under the podium. For what does this say about him, if he canât even bring himself to cry, nor feel the sorrow that everyone else feels? Keep him tethered, grounded to where heâs at, or else he feels as though he might just drift away.
And finally, his eyes finally drift to the mirror to where the ghosts are, before finally back to Shigure once again. Resignation and acceptance. He is sorry, Shigure, that itâs all boiled down to this. He doesnât doubt that she was made for great things.Â
But sometimes the cards you have been dealt in life are just like that.
â... Take care, whatever itâs like after this. Youâll be remembered.â
A repeated reassurance, even if itâs from a bystander. He hopes it can at least reach that thought to her.
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the value of one || kanna || re: the choice
Just like that, the choice was made. So quick â Kanna almost missed it, almost convinced herself she was hearing things. So soon? So easy? This hadnât been what sheâd been expecting â she was anticipating the worst outcome. Bracing herself for it, even, trying to find a way she could swallow all the resentment and grief sheâd feel all over again, trying to process losing them not just once, but once again.Â
She inhaled once, a deep breath â shaky, but invigorating. She couldnât stop breathing now. Pride would not allow it.Â
She really was sick of the anger, the spite, the hatred - all she wanted now was to expect nothing for you. Feel nothing for you.
So whyâd you have to go and do this, huh? Give her back everything sheâd lost so easily? You are aware of the cost, right? It might have been what someone like her wanted, but itâs not what she expected from you. Itâs not the choice she thought youâd make. You still had all your friends. Your romantic partner. You had everything to gain and nothing to lose by staying and choosing to live, and she still resented that to a degree.Â
It would have been so much easier to resent you if you had chosen to live.Â
Sheâd understand the decision, and sheâd respect it through gritted teeth. Choking on pride left no room to eat her words. But sheâd resent it all the same, an empty, hollow, nothing resentment with nowhere to go but inwards, so â
Now what? Now she had no reason to resent you. And now she had to deal with the guilt for having done so. Deal with the guilt for continuing to do so, if even just a little bit.
She said she wouldnât hate you anymore, and she meant it â now, it was so much more complicated. Now, there was pity, guilt, lament. There was a lot more to it, but none of it breached her heart. None of it made her want to weep for you, and she was aware of how wrong that may be.
She wouldnât hate. She meant it. Sheâd take no pleasure in your death. There would be no satisfaction in the end. But sheâd shed no tears, either. She wouldnât grieve and mourn with the others. It wasnât her place, nor did she want it to be, and she was sure you felt the same. Her name wouldn't be on the guest list for your funeral.Â
In the end, sheâd be just like the rest of the world who never had the chance to know you â a faceless bystander, catching only a glimpse of the headlines detailing the murder of a promising young idol. The drone and buzz of the newsreel as a solemn-faced anchor relayed the tragic loss of a one Mermaid Idol Ran to the whole of the nation. An entire population, as one, shaking their heads and thinking âoh, such a shame,â before carrying on their way as the weatherman replaced the sweetheart idolâs face with a forecast calling for rain.Â
Thatâs all itâd be for people like her. And she couldnât apologize for it. Itâd sound so empty. Itâd sound so much like resentment.Â
Because make no mistake, she didnât think she could ever bring herself to like you. Tolerance, perhaps, was the most she could extend. Because that was all she had been offered in turn. She could not and would not reach out to those who did not do the same for her.Â
She had known you were fake from the start. She hadnât wanted to see the real person beneath all the glitter and glamor. She pulled away when you approached because it was too close â keep away. It was easier to admire at a distance. It was easier to accept love for what you weren't when you felt what you were was so undeserving. Any closer, youâd see how much she loathed people like you, and sheâd see how you detested people like her. Neither of you really wanted that, right?Â
And that wasnât changing now, and it wasnât changing ever. Things said and done on both ends that were impossible to forgive, no matter how many attempts at amends were made â and it always totaled up to zero.Â
She couldnât do it. She couldnât take any more heartbreaks. Another rejection would crush her.Â
How did mother live like this? Kanna didnât know how the woman lived with a heart so shattered.
Because Kanna was done. So much loss. She couldnât scream any louder than those telling her to die, to have never been born. She couldn't fight against those who would try to take her life. There werenât any more steps between her and the open air. She couldnât escalate it any further than she already had âÂ
Why was it so fucking hard to have someone say it was okay to exist as you were?Â
So, how did you do it?
Because you felt the same, didnât you? That was the sentiment behind your whole career â just wanting to live as you, and having others say it was okay. So she hopes one day â she canât expect to be forgiven for not being able to forgive and forget â but maybe, one day, she could be understood.
Just like you were.Â
How horrible. How wretched of her, in the end. Anger and hatred were so hard to let go of, huh? Especially when itâs all you were. Kanna had her anger and spite or nothing at all. Once upon a time, you were the same, but now you were different.Â
She was a bit envious, but Kanna could at least be glad you learned what love was like, in the end.Â
Twisting the rings around her neck absently, she glanced over towards the dead. Wakaruâs ring still felt like warmth. Soon, sheâd be able to give this back, return it to where it belonged. Soon, itâd be their voice she heard â not the static filling an empty tent.Â
And thereâs still someoneâs hand in hers. Thereâs another shattered heart thatâs still beating besides hers, through it all. Through everything and anything.
Kanna had her anger and hatredâŚBut that wasnât all, right? She glanced over towards the reflection of the dead, to where someone was waiting. The ring felt as heavy as a waterlogged heart.
Part of her wanted to forget. Wanted to forget everything. It'd be so much easier, but what then? She'd go back to anger, grief, hatred, bitter spite. That really would be all she ever was again.
'You'll always come back to me.'
Did that have to be true? Couldn't it be someone different? The one she wanted to come back to was waiting. The one she wanted to come back to was standing at her side.
How could she forgive forgetting that? She'd never allow herself.Â
If you could find the strength to die for others, maybe she could somehow find the strength to live with herself and all she had lost.
Soon, all she had lost would become all she had.Â
Soon, but at what cost? Was this really okay? Could she say âthank you for your lifeâ with all her heart?Â
Choking on her pride left no room to speak. All she could do was turn away and wait for the end. Maybe another time, another chance, another life.Â
She wonât apologize, but she's sorry it came to this. She wouldnât cry, but for the first time, she didnât deny others their grief. And she wouldnât reach for you because she never knew you â and she hoped that was okay.Â
âŚMaybe, from time to time, when Kanna took their hand or called their name â sheâd think of you. You, and all you had to give just for something like this. She'd remember the value of one, how it totaled up to seven.Â
And maybe that really was the best she could do.
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Forgive me for my childish ways || Kaneko || Re: The Choice
Everything in her runs cold as Chioko threatens her. As Sibyl's face turns. As she is met with the fact that her words were wrong. But she wouldn't, she couldn't, take them back. Would she be able to rest if she hadn't at least defended Kenta, Robin, Miyu, Willow? No, that's not who she is. That was never who she was. But--
That didn't matter now as Shigure made her choice.Â
She was going to get Yuka back, she was going to get Robin back. She was going to get her fairytale ending, and yet she didn't feel like she deserved it. Instead her heart sputtered and it clenched as she saw the break downs, one after another. She had been there. She had that moment of desperation as someone was ripped from your arms. The moment where it was so easy to bite and lash out and fight. To become savage, to become feral, because that one moment was never going to be enough. The rings on her hand felt so heavy.Â
Opening her mouth, she closes it almost immediately. What can she say? What can she say that'd mean anything. Shigure had only recently come around to her. She had wasted so much time with a fictitious enemy. She wanted so badly to make it black and white. She wanted so badly to be the good and for Shigure to be the bad. But in reality, they were closer to each other than she wanted. The same color of grey.Â
"...I'm sorry." Is all she can get out before shuddering her breath.Â
What is she sorry for? For being childish, for being naive, for living her life only viewing it from a filter. For never knowing how cruel the world was, for never trying to understand, for standing with those who the world hated and for shunning those those people hurt. She's not sorry for picking Shuuya, she will never be sorry for picking Robin-- but she was sorry for not trying to meet ends. She's not sorry he died accepted by her, she's not sorry for yelling and for fighting. But she's sorry for being selfish.Â
"I wanted to be your friend so badly in the beginning. I wish I let ourselves heal before the end...If I just talked to you instead of avoiding. I even...ahaha...I even liked you. Though that was a mess of not knowing if it was platonic or not." Kaneko pushes back her bangs and looks at the idol. Surrounded by love, surrounded by those who took the energy to get to know her. "I--..."
She has no words. She has nothing she can state. She didn't know if she would write, all it would be would be documentation on the fact that she was living a life Shigure would never get. The right to fight tooth and nail for freedom, the right to love and the right to be loved. She wouldn't hug the idol because she hadn't earned that privilege.Â
"I'll miss you."
And of course she would. She'd think of Shigure when the sun shone across the ocean, pinks breaking with the waves. She'd think of Shigure every time her fingers grazed the shells that decorate a part of the shop. She'd think of Shigure every time Ena would cook a spicier dish and she'd think of Shigure whenever she felt weary of dealing with it all. The urge to keep fighting, that was Shigure.Â
"And when I think about you, I'll think of you as my friend...And maybe when I see you again, we could really try to be that. I'd really like to be your friend."
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Thanks For Being Born || Yumeko || Re:Shigure's Choice pt 2
To grieve, to mourn, to lose is human.
Yumeko had shed the wings of their angelic persona a while ago, but never had they felt so unbearably human than in this moment. When Shigure pulled away from their grasp, even just slightly, to begin to speak to the group. They wanted to cling to her, hold her close, never let her go. But they could not. They could not stop her choice, GB would protect it with all he had, as demonstrated by Chioko's failed attempt.
The wheels of fate had been set into motion, and there was no stopping them now. So when Shigure did pull away, they let her. They let her turn to speak to the group, to Miyu, to Wakaru, to so many in turn. They wanted to listen to her every word, carve her voice into their memory but the words seemed to slip into haze as they took the time to breathe. To try and calm down, even if just enough to speak. They felt like they were drowning, barely able to keep their head above the turbulent waters that threatened to drag them deep down, into a lightless abyss. But they had to try. To keep breathing, to gather their words. They had so much to say, and if they did not soon, they would never be able to.
But before they could, Shigure turned to them once again. For maybe the last time, they'd hear her voice address them. So much love in it, so much sorrow. How happy those three words had made them. How even still, they made Yumeko happy, even as they knew this would be the last time.
There was so much power, in those three little words. A spell just for them, a fragment of magic, that would not heal the pain that was to come, would maybe soothe the worst of it, in their darkest days. They'd been loved. So very loved.
"I love you too, Shigure. I'd always hoped I'd have years to write all the words I'd need to tell you how much I love you but..." But they don't have that time anymore. They have minutes now, the sand slipping through their hands like a broken hourglass. Every fragment counted, every second. So many words, they'd have to fit into so short an amount of time. "I...I don't regret it either. I don't regret even a single moment of the time we spent together. I know.. I know it hasn't been long and I wish...I wish it could be so much longer, but these weeks have truly been some of the best of my life. Thanks to you, I've remembered what it's like to smile, to be happy to..." To feel loved, to feel important, to be special. To be human, to live and be human again. For all it's joys and sorrows.
To remember, to memorialize, to carry through grief and loss, is also human.
It was like she'd seen, for a moment, that painful thought they'd had, their desire to throw it all away and return to zero. Return to being that cold, lonely angel. But her words were not scolding, for that cowardice. Simply a wish. For them to remember her, to remember everyone and everything that had happened here. To remain human, through it all. They could not refuse, and with a pained sniffle, they nod.
"Of course I... I won't ever forget you, Shigure. If I somehow lived a thousand, million years, I'd never forget you, or anyone here. Even though things have to end now, the days I spent here with you, with everyone here are... So important to me. I won't forget, I won't...I won't. I just...I wish I could do more for you, than simply remember. I wish you didn't have to do this, all on your own, I wish I could burden some of the pain for you." They have to stop to wipe their tears, they want to see her, they don't want their last moments to be a blur. When she mentions that she hopes they'll find someone else to be happy with some day, they want to reject it, to say that they'll never love again, it's that fairytale instinct again, the princess and the knight, destined to be together. But... They know why she's saying it, and how much it must hurt to say.
Before they can speak though, she continues, cupping their cheek for a moment and then... Her ring. His left hand, taken and the ring placed upon it. Where one would place a wedding ring. A light conversation from what felt like ages ago filtered to the top, how they'd said they would want to marry her one day, once things had settled, once they'd lived together, once Shigure was free. That dream was over before it could even begin, and a fresh barrage of tears spilled from his eyes at the memory, and at the feelings conveyed in the action and the ring itself.
Loved... They were so loved, huh?
To love and be loved, is human too.
"Of... Of course." They say softly at first, their voice weak, as they clutch the faintly glowing ring to their chest. That comforting shade of blue, right next to their heart. As it should be, as it always will be. They won't ever be apart from this ring. Whether it's on their finger, or worn on a chain over their heart, it will always be with them, just like the memory of Shigure.
With a trembling hand, they reach up to cup her face in their hand, and kiss her, one final time. A kiss so full of love and tears. A thousand words, voiceless but never the less full of feeling that threatened to pull them under.Â
They pull away, after a moment, and look her in the eyes despite the tears spilling down them. "I will always love you. Even if I become old and gray, even if in the future, I meet someone else, even if I don't, even then, I will always love you. I... I'm so glad we met. I'm so glad I could give you this much happiness, even if it was fleeting. I'm so, so glad, Shigure. My beloved, dear, Shigure."
A sob, but they swallow it down. There is still so much to say.
"I'll keep your memory alive for all my life, so that your spirit stays strong... So that one day, we can meet again, at the end of all things. I will live a long life for you...So can you promise me that too? That you'll find a life here, in the realm of spirits?" Maybe it's selfish to ask something of her in this moment, when she is already doing so much but... It's what they want more than anything else in this world.
"A-and...thank you. Thank you for loving me, for showing me there was a place for me in this world, for taking me by the hand and showing me so much. Thank you... Thank you for being you, Shigure, for being here, for being born into this world, that I had even this small chance to meet you. Thank you, thank you..." They don't want to let go, but they have to, don't they? They want to talk forever and ever, so that she might never step away and into the dark. But they need to let go, soon don't they?
They take her hand, in this moment, for they need not let go just yet, only soon. But they smile through their tears for her.
A loving, bright smile, just for her.Â
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Blue Moon, Blue Ocean || Shigure || Trial 5 || Re: Everyone
Shigure already expected an intense reaction to her choice, but that didnât make it easier. Seeing the people she considered cherished friends reduced to tears, feeling their desperate grip on her, made it all that much more difficult to maintain her conviction. She didnât intend to change her mind. There was no point in backing out. She already knew this was the right choice. Really, the only choice. But even still, she wavered. She appreciated G.B. stepping in to guard her, even if she understood well enough that Chioko only had good intentions. It was true that sheâd had so many choices taken away from her. It was just unfortunate that the choice she finally had the freedom to make for herself just had to be this one. There was certainly a lot to address, from everyone. They deserved at least that much, even if talking was painful right then.
But just for a moment, Shigure stayed in Riley and Yumekoâs embrace. It was so warm. She couldâve stayed like that for an eternity.Â
There was no time limit, but Shigure was more aware than ever that the time she had left was in short supply. She didnât want to waste it.
Shigure ran her fingers through Yumekoâs hair, gently combing through it with her fingers, trying her best to soothe them as she held them near. Sheâd always had a fixation with their hair, huh? Even back when she was still pretending to be Ran, sheâd played with their hair as they slept. Part of that was just to keep in character, but there was more to it than that. Itâd always felt so silky and smooth and that hadnât changed even now that it was shorter and darker. She could feel their tears against her neck. She could feel Rileyâs tears against the top of her head. Hearing everyone crying was already hard enough, but feeling their sadness manifested against her skin just overwhelmed her all over again.
She needed to be brave and strong throughout this. Maintain her composure. She couldnât buckle under the intensity of the grief, but was it still so wrong to cry a little?
âHicâŚâ Shigure sniffled and buried her face into Rileyâs jacket. So warm. Soon, she wouldnât be able to feel warmth like that anymore. She wanted to soak up as much as possible while she still could.
It was okay. Everything was okay. This was fine. This was the decision sheâd chosen. But that didnât make it any less painful.
She stayed like that for a while, just softly crying against Rileyâs chest. It was all so difficult. Not just because she had to die again, no, but for the people sheâd have to leave behind. Those who cared about her and didnât want to see them go. She didnât want to see them in pain like this. She wanted to erase that pain, to take it away, but ultimately, she was still selfish.
There was no right moment to pull away from Riley and Yumekoâs embrace. There was no moment where suddenly she felt strong enough to let go and face the others, but she knew she couldnât stay there forever. There was still so much to address. So much she needed to respond to, and she couldnât do that with her face being muffled by Rileyâs jacket, nor struggling with tears. Shigure wiped her face with the back of her sleeve. Although her eyes were still watery and her throat felt tight like she was going to cry again, she held them back. At least, for now.
It was best to start with addressing the group, rather than individuals. She would work her way to that.
ââŚTo be honest, I never thought Iâd be in a situation like this. So to answer what I want is a bit difficultâŚâ Shigure peeked at Miyu sheepishly. She appreciated Miyuâs willingness to help, but her brain was so scattered. ââŚI knowâŚitâs probably a lot to ask. I donât blame Willocchin for wanting to forget, and I donât intend to change his mind, butâŚif just some of you could remember me, thatâd make me really happy."Â
It was a lot to ask. She already knew that. It wasnât a fair request after all the trauma theyâd all been through. She knew a lot of them probably wanted to just leave it all behind, butâŚ
ââŚMost of the world is going to remember me as a victim of that horrible man. Thereâs no changing it. ButâŚfor everyone here, Iâd like it if you could remember me as I am now instead. I donât want to be remembered as a victim of some creep. If thatâs too difficult, I understand, but even if itâs just a few of youâŚIâd really like that.â
A few of them had already promised to remember her, but she really wanted to explain it. Express her desires as much as possible while she was still alive to share them. And now down to the individualsâŚ
âWakachuâŚâ It felt a bit awkward to call them by that nickname, knowing the baggage behind it, but it was the easiest way to express her feelings for them. She wanted them to understand, there were no hard feelings for them. Not anymore. And she wanted them to know how sorry she was. "Iâd like it, umâŚwhen you get back, if you could deliver a message to my sister for me."Â
"Nee-chan is always so busy with her work. I think thatâll be even more true after IâŚah. I donât think sheâd have any reason to come home anymore. I bet sheâll drown herself in it.â If there was one thing Shigure could guarantee about her big sister, it was that the woman was a workaholic. And if Shigure were goneâŚthen there was a good chance that Nanami Momoshiro would never come back to shore again. âYouâŚand the Professor, youâll have the best chance of reaching her. Sheâs always out to see for research. IâŚobviously donât expect you to go out on the open seas or anything like that, but if you could just get ahold of her and pass on a message, Iâd like that. If you couldâŚjust tell her, umâŚtell her that I always admired her, and that I wanted to be like her so badly. Tell her that I was really grateful and I couldnât have asked for a better older sisterâŚno, that I couldnât have asked for a better mother. She took care of me better than anyone else. She taught me to love the ocean with my whole heart, and Iâll never regret that. Is that all too cheesy? AhaâŚsorry. Itâs difficult for me not toâŚâ
She looked to Takako next.
âSensei, Iâm not sure if youâll be able to, because of the stipulations on my contract, but if itâs possible, but if you could, do you think you could make sure most of my royalties go to my sister? Itâs not like I can really leave a will or anything, and everything is still going to my mother. I donât even know if thereâs anything you can do, but if I had the choice, Iâd want for my mother to get nothing. She doesnât deserve a single yen after all those years she squeezed me dry. Iâm sure sheâll try to capitalize on my death. Play the part of a grieving mother, but I justâŚI donât want her to get away with it. If thereâs anything you can do, Iâd like that.â
It was a bit of a mean sentiment, but she didnât particularly want her mother to suffer. JustâŚto cut the cord binding them together. She didnât want her mother to have any connection to her, nor to make any money off of her, even in death. She hardly forgave the woman for all the pain and anguish she put Shigure through, it was more likeâŚ
A modest life of obscurity. That was the sort of thing that her mother would hate the most.
Shigure turned her attention back to Sibyl. It had been a while since sheâd had any sort of love for music, but that was still the connection that linked them together. And it was also the kindest thing that Sibyl could have offered to do for her. To write a song specifically for her, and not some trashy mermaid themed pop song meant to charm adoring fans, was a kind gesture. The day hadnât come yet where Shigure loved music or singing again, but that didnât mean it never would. Sheâd already felt herself healing. Singing together with SibylâŚit had been nice. Maybe one day it would be even more than nice. But the point was, Sibyl wanted to make something in her honor, and give her the choice on whether or not she wanted to sing. She couldnât refuse that.
âMimiâŚnext time when we meet again, after youâve lived a long and wonderful life, if thereâs a song you want to give to me, then Iâd be honored to sing it.â It might be a long time before she would have that chance, but that would just give her plenty of time to learn to love music again. ââŚIâll miss you too, Mimi. Maybe itâs a little strange to say now, butâŚIâd like to think that weâre friends now. I knowâŚthings like that are hard for you, and we didnât have the best startâŚâ Well, more like Shigure had just hated her for no reason at the very beginning. âButâŚfor a while now, Iâve thought of you as a friend. So Iâll look forward to the song you write for me, Mimi. Iâm not sure how everything will work, but ah, if my stuff is still in my tent, Iâd like you to have my dolphin stuffed animal. Her name is Nanami. I just thinkâŚyouâd take really good care of her.â
Shigure looked away from Sibyl and then to Chioko. The hug had just been a ploy to trap her, to keep her from going through with it, but Shigure couldnât really be upset about it. From the start, Chioko had been honest about her opinion on this matter, and Chioko had always been one to take action for what she believed in. To say it wasnât a surprise that Chioko tried to stop would be an understatement. Even as Chioko had closed in for the hug, Shigure had expected it. The embrace was warm, even if restricting, but it hadnât last long with G.B.âs involvement. With all of the powerful yokai around, Shigure already knew there wouldnât have been any way for Chioko to truly interfere, but it still made her heart clench tightly in her chest.
âIâm sorry, Chicchan.â Even though Chioko had been forced into submission didnât mean that Chioko actually accepted the choice. Shigure already knew that. âThank you for being such a good friend to me. I know youâre just trying to protect me, the same way you always try to protect everyone.â That had always been Chiokoâs thing, hadnât it? âBack at the beginning, even when you started acting like we were friends, I still didnât trust you. I donât know when it changed, but it was almost like a switch flipped and I started to see you as a friend. It wasâŚnice. We always just talked about normal things. It had been a while since I was able to have a friend like that. SoâŚthank you. Youâve really been through a lot, Chicchan, but you have a lot of wonderful friends on your side to support you. I wonât be around anymore to talk about silly little things like Crossing Animals anymore, but by the time we meet again, Iâm sure theyâll finally have fish villagers and we can play together! Iâll wait for you until then. In my tent, thereâs a wooden sword keychain. My old friend Yuuto gave it to me. Iâd like you to hold onto it. Itâs a little bit silly now, but it used to remind me of happier times, so I always held onto it.â
Shigureâs eyes flickered between Yumeko and Riley. She knew she needed to talk to them too, but her heart clenched in her chest. She couldnât do it. Not yet. She still hadnât thought of what to say, so instead she looked to Miyu.
âMicchanâŚI donât know if I can say you were my first friend here, since I was lying at that time, butâŚthank you. You really forgave me for a lot, huh?â It was a bit embarrassing now thinking about how sheâd robbed Miyuâs corpse. Seriously, what had she been thinking? âThank you for being so kind to me, andâŚthank you for being my friend too. I canât really say thereâs anything I need you to do, justâŚtake really good care of Hime-tan. Thatâs all I really want.â
Perhaps that was a weird thing to ask, but she just wanted everyone to be happy. And she knew that Miyu would make Himeyuri happier than anything else, whatever that meant for them.
And thenâŚwho sheâd saved for last to address. The two she still couldnât find the words for, but she supposed she never really would.
âRicchan. Iâm gl-glad I could meet you.â Sheâd only just started talking and the tears were already pouring out, but how could she stop herself from crying? It hurt. Her chest stung with every breath. How could she even begin to explain the depth of her feelings? âI was so mean to you at first, but you never gave up on me. No matter how much I snapped at you, you just kept trying to help me. B-Before, I thought everyone was out to get me. That the world was terrible and rotten along with all of the people in it. I thought everything was corrupted, and anyone who didnât fit into that mold was just an exception. Even with Yuyu and Nee-chan, I thought they were different. Everyone else was just scum, but I put them on a pedestal. But even though I was so horrible like that, even though I always thought the worst of you with everything you did, you never got frustrated with me. You still reached out you hand to me and never rushed me to trust you. Iâm sureâŚIâm sure I was so frustrating. I donât blame you for being scared of me. I lashed out and blamed you for things that werenât even your fault, because I was afraid of getting too close to you. I didnât want to be burned again. But even after all of that, you never got angry. None of this was fair to you. Youâre not a therapist. As much as you try to support others, I was selfish and never let you lean on me. Even nowâŚeven now, Iâm still hurting you and I canât even do anything for you.â
Shigure tried to wipe away the tears again, but they just kept coming.Â
âYou can write me as much as you want. Even if you wanna write every day. E-Even if you send me silly things! Iâll take all of it, s-soâŚjust in return, live a long and happy life. A life where youâll finally put yourself first and youâll let yourself be happy. I want you to be a little bit selfish, Ricchan. Itâs okay. If you want an excuse, you can just think âthis is what Shigure would want me to do.â SoâŚplease? Stop hurting yourself for others.â
What a hypocritical thing to say when she was the one causing Riley the most pain now, but she just wanted desperately to see Riley live for herself for once. Itâs what Riley deserved. She deserved all of that happiness in the world.
From her pocket, Shigure pulled out a brooch. It was a light blue background with a white dolphin hopping through a hoop on the front. Very cute, and it suited Shigure quite well. But had she ever had something like this before? She reached out to place the brooch in Rileyâs hand. She reached her hands out to gently hold Rileyâs and curled Rileyâs fingers around the brooch.Â
âI brought this brooch back from Kazooâs dungeon, all back then. At the time, I was still pretending to be Ran, so I donât know what compelled me to do it, but I got everyone from our group matching brooches. Almost like a mementoâŚor something like that. I donât really know whyâŚbut Wakachu, Micchan, and Yuyu all have one too. Iâd like you to hold onto mine for me, Ricchan. I know dolphins arenât really your thing, butâŚI think the color will suit you. AndâŚif for some reason you ever miss me, you can just hold this and think that Iâm with youâŚor something like that, ahaâŚ"Â
It was just too heavy. All of this was too heavy. Goodbyes were painful, but it was worse trying to leave without one.
And then there was Yumeko. Where did she even begin in trying to address them? Sheâd already shared how much they meant to her so many times in so many different words. How could she express that in a new way? There were no words deep enough to describe the extent of her feelings towards them, to describe how grateful she was to them, how much they mattered.
ButâŚshe could start with three.
âYuyuâŚmy Yumeko, I love you.â Sheâd said those three words before, plenty of times, but right now, in this moment, they held the weight and the gravity of the world. "Iâm sorry. Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry.â It was difficult not to get completely manic and just continue to spew out apologies, but what else could she do but apologize? Sheâd brought them into her world, let them into her heart. Theyâd held each other through their mutual loneliness and now she was leaving them alone again. If theyâd both known this was how it would end from the startâŚwould they still have fallen in love? Shigure knew her answer, but still. Still.
âI knowâŚthis is selfish to say as Iâm the one leaving you, but I donât regret any of the time we spent together. And if we had to do it all again, I would still choose to love you. Weâve only been together for a few weeks, butâŚin this time, even with everything the onryo tried to throw at us, every moment I got to spend with you was the happiest Iâd ever been. That time together was worth more to me than a thousand lifetimes, soâŚth-thatâs why, right now, Iâm okay with dying. Thereâs so much more I wish we could do together. I wanted to spend my life with you, butâŚeven without all of that, our time together was more than enough to make up for the wasted years of pain and solitude. I wish I didnât have to leave you like this. Youâre so wonderful, Yuyu. Someone like youâŚshould never have to feel any loneliness or pain. I donât want to put you through any of this, butâŚIâm going to be selfish again and ask that you please donât forget me. I donâtâŚI donât want you to forget me, or anyone else here. I donât want you to go back to being closed off and alone like before.â
If it could just be her. If they could just erase her from their memories, then maybe she could learn to be okay with it, but sheâd seen how far theyâd come. All the friends theyâd made, how theyâd opened up their heart and learned to smile again, and she didnât want to see that go away. Not now. Not ever.
âIâŚIâm sorry. None of this is fair to you. But youâre so wonderful, Yuyu. Youâre the best type of person there is. Youâre kind, youâre giving, youâre selfless, youâre loving. Youâre smart and inquisitive, and youâre fiercely protective and loyal. I kn-know that one day, someone so precious like you, youâll find someone else to be happy with.â Even if it broke her heart a little to think of them with someone else, she just wanted them to be happy. She didnât want them to put their life on hold or wait for her. Theyâd have a whole wonderful lifetime to live and she wanted them to enjoy every moment. âYouâll find someone better, someone who deserves you. I just know it, butâŚIâm just glad, if even for a little bit, I was able to experience your love.â
She had to wipe her tears away again. They were making it so much harder to see. But even as tears continued to pour down her face, she smiled. A bittersweet sort of smile, just for them.
Shigure reached out to cup Yumekoâs cheek in her hand. She used her thumb to brush away some of their tears. It would all be okay. Maybe not now, but someday.Â
She briefly retracted her hand to remove the ring from her finger. A beautiful ring forged from ceramic and inlaid with crushed pearls and white opals. In the darkness, it glowed an ethereal blue. Looking at it now, Shigure thought the white suited them. Sheâd always associated white with them, not just because of their previous hair color or their preferred shade in clothes. It just suited them. A pure and bright color that always drew your eye. If she had to describe the color of Yumekoâs soul, she would probably say it looked white. The color of light.
They had so many rings on their fingers, but it didnât matter. Shigure had already decided where sheâd put it. Gently grabbing his left hand, Shigure slipped the ring onto his ring finger. She held it gently for a moment, before pulling their hand to press her lips against it in a kiss, just like sheâd done all that time ago.
âI want you to hold onto this for me, Yumeko.â
If she remembered correctly, by wearing her ring, theyâd be able to feel her feelings too. Would that still be the case after she was already gone? Once they were out of the spirit realm? Shigure wasnât sure, but hopefully they would be able to at least remember her feelings.Â
Sure, they would probably be able to feel her fear and anxiety. Her apprehension and uncertainty. They would definitely feel her pain and sadness and loneliness at having to leave everyone behind. But above all else, overwhelming above any other emotion, they would be able to feel her burning love. Deep and vast, just like the ocean, in gentle waves to hold them close like a warm embrace.Â
Wakaru was right. For as much as she suffered, Shigure also loved.
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bittersweet eulogy || wakaru || re: final decision
âMomoshiro-kunâŚ?âÂ
Being on the other side of self-sacrificeâit doesnât feel too good, does it. That sinking feeling. Wakaru had braced themself for a different answer. One that would let Shigure take her newfound happiness in her own hands. Bating their breath. Trying to decide what to say to the others, before theyâd be separated.
But it would leave a bitter taste, wouldnât it, to pull your happiness by its roots from a place like this. Among the graveyard, to take it and leave. Even if it were well within your rights.
Wakaru could understand that much, at least. ButâŚ
Theyâd braced themself for a different answer. What could they say now, before Shigure would be separated from the rest? To Yumeko, who would lose their most important person. To Chioko, Sibyl, and Riley, who would lose such a precious friend?
Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry.
( âStop saying sorry. Even if you did mean it, youâre not the one who did anything wrong. Iâm the bitch that hated you. SoâŚstop saying sorry. Itâs not going to change anything.â )
Itâs notâŚgoing to change anything, huh. How awful it would be, if this was Shigureâs will and sacrifice, to make her final moments full of wilted flowers and empty apologies. But what else could they possibly say?
ââŚI donâtâŚâ I donât want you to go. It was probably something like this. Seeing you off to your death. Everyone wants you to live and experience a life of your own choosing. It was probably something like that. Everyone wants you to be happy. Weightless sentiments that wouldnât change anything. Not from them.
How childish. The quivering voice and watering eyes, trying to cling to something that couldnât be held down. Theyâve returned to a familiar graveyard thatâs been long overwatered. If Wakaru shed enough tears on that day, water blended with salt and the rumbling in their chest â then maybe they could have resembled the ocean you loved just a little more closely, and you would have chosen to stay. Please donât go. Not like this. Theyâll smile for you next time, soâ
( âIâm not your mother, Wakaru.â )
âŚAh. It feels more cruel than ever for them to see Shigure as a ghost, even now. How awful. How much would it have hurt her, to be seen as merely something you wanted to see, something you wanted to be real. An illusion, some form of false idol.
Perhaps Shigure wasnât so unjustified in having hated them, butâŚitâs not as if they donât understand her feelings right now. They probably understand as much as anyone, the will to sacrifice for the many. With time, theyâve come to understand the beauty in the tragedy. When the little mermaid gave it all up, and returned to the seaâŚ
It was love, wasnât it?
It was love.
It would be easier to ask her not to follow through, if it were only themâbut itâs not. It never was. Shigureâs choice would also allow Miyu to return to her family, to bring her light back to the world. How often had Wakaru wished for the chance to bring Ryou back home to his beloved family safely, so he could hold them close just one more time? Kenta, who always went out of his way to be kind to everyone. Robin, who had always wanted to better himself, and Willow, whoâd never had the chance. Yuka, who for the listless look behind their eyes was nothing but a source of warmth to them.
âIâm⌠Thank you. Momoshiro-kunâShigure-chan, you reallyâŚâ You donât have to do this, they canât seem to get the words out. Not when everyoneâs lives hang in the balance, when itâs not about them. They donât know if there will ever be a right answer to all this, but itâs been said time and time againâthis is Shigureâs decision. This is her choice, and theyâd promised to respect it. To not interfere. If this was what she truly wanted, thenâŚ
ââŚIâll never forget you. The hardships you went through that lead to this, but more than thatâŚall the good things, that came after. Seeinâ Momoshiro-kun make friends with people she could trust, even after everythinâ. The way you spoke your mind anâ followed your heart. The way you love animals, anâ the ocean, and your sister and friends. Even when you sufferedâŚyou loved a lot of things, didnât you?â Even now. Even now, when your heart is wrenching, the people you love shed their tears and hold you. It was love, wasnât it?Â
âI thinkâŚIâd rather remember you for that, soâŚâ Not all the many ways the world had been cruel to you, but that youâd been loved in turn. Not as a false idol, but as a friend.
âI hope the next world is kinder to you, and⌠I hope you can help Inko-chan find their family.â
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The tears start coming and they don't stop coming | Riley | Final Decision Reaction | ATTN: Shigure, Willow, NPCs a lil
Rileyâs surprised when Sibyl gets up only to give her of all people a hug before things conclude as panic grips at her chest, but she accepts it, squeezing the smaller girl tightly for a moment. Sibyl tries to move away, and Riley clings on for a moment, wishing that sheâd stay with her in the center, but⌠She wonât force her to, and ultimately she lets her go.Â
However things were about to go, anxiety was heavy in her chest. She doesnât respond again until Shigure herself speaks up, knowing that any arguments she would make would only distract from the choice that Shigure would have to be making, and sheâd said more than enough about her own feelings by now.
And thenâŚÂ
It hurts. It hurts just as deeply as she expected it too, when Shigureâs decision comes. Even the mix of relief at the fate of the others here canât override the knowledge of what that will come at the cost of once this was all over for her.Â
On one hand Riley knows she would have picked the same if she were in Shigureâs place, if it were her own soul on the line. To save 7 peopleâs lives at the cost of her own, in a situation where sacrifice would have to be made no matter what in some way. She gets it. She would always want to, because she would be willing if there was no other way. It was a worthy sacrifice, even if she would have loved to have no sacrifice needed at all in the first place.
But it hurt so much more to see someone else do the same, to know that sheâd lose another person all over again. She would never have wanted to force that result on someone who was unwilling to make that sacrifice, to feel like she was the one who plunged that knife directly into her just as sheâd had to do with Sibyl before. At least then she had known it was to help her friend, painful as it was. Here, it would have just felt like murder.Â
She would never have asked Shigure to die, even if she understood the situation perfectly. But this had been Shigureâs choice, and Riley had agreed to accept it no matter what choice she made, no matter how much it might hurt to. No matter how much she wishes she could just keep looking for some better solution to be had, some way to save every person here, even if she knows that there almost certainly canât be one.Â
She doesnât have far to go, having already moved beside Shigure long ago by now, once she gets her chance, once Chioko puts her down on the ground again, Riley wraps Shigure (and whoever else might be still doing the same, Yumeko definitely included, and Chioko if sheâs still nearby) in another tight hug as a full sob breaks itâs way out of her throat, the lingering tears on her face instantly doubling. Even with the onryo presumably still Right There, she wasnât about to hold back now. Check out how hard I can cry-
By the time she pulls back enough to actually look at Shigure, her face is a complete mess that she canât even begin to pretend isnât the case, and she sniffles a couple times as she tries her best to get herself able to speak again.
âSorry⌠if this is overwhelming, I just⌠God, I donât even know what to say, Iâm sorry,â she chokes out finally after a moment. âI know⌠that all of this was painful, that there were a lot of downs even with every up but I⌠Iâm glad that I even got to know you, Shigure. I definitely wonât judge anyone else for choosing to forget this happened if they need to, but I wonât. Itâs⌠the least I can do, to carry that memory f⌠forward. And if thereâs anything else youâd like⌠just⌠let me know too, okay?â
She manages a small weak smile in the end, despite everything. Itâs probably not as comforting as it could be with her makeup running like it is, but itâs still something, she hopes.
The rest of everything thatâs happening sinks in only a few moments later, as Riley looks slightly pained at the thought of some of the other things happening, GBâs comments in particular. She knows that it isnât her place to say something though, not right now at least. But she also nods, once Kaz reveals who among the dead would like to forget. Honestly, sheâs surprised that more of them wouldnât have opted for this given what theyâve been through, but she turns to the mirror that is presumably still streaming this and offers a nod of understanding.
âIt might be awkward but⌠would it be okay⌠if I sought you out again after this, Willow? I think itâll be⌠nice to get to play baseball with you again, and get to actually talk more too.â
Awkward in that she is now a much more traumatized person than before, that she might not be immediately back up to the plate. Even if her heart would hurt at the thought of what had happened though, she still very much didnât want to abandon him and miss out on the time she might get to have, just like sheâd said before :sob:
And finally, Riley turns to the spirits here whoâve been helping them. To Kaz, and Labyrista, and GB, and Rei.Â
âIs there⌠Is there any way that we can still contact Shigure afterwards if she does thisâŚ? Any way that weâll be able to see or just even talk to⌠any of the spirits weâve met again, after this happens? I know that Kaz, and Rei, and GB⌠and that some other Yokai can manifest in the human world, and I absolutely want to keep in contact with you too after this if I can manage it, but⌠I donât know enough about human spirits.Â
I donât know if us ending up in the spirit realm like this while we were alive was a once in a lifetime experience, if two way communication is possible for any of you to facilitate that, but⌠Thank you all too, for everything youâve done already.âÂ
Even if some form of indirect communication is possible, Riley knows in her heart that itâs much more likely that the next time she sees Shigure will be after she herself is at the end of her life. It hurts, but she still manages a tear filled smile as she turns back to Shigure once more.
âAnd even if not Iâll⌠Iâll write to you, Shigure. Iâll figure out how to send what Iâd like to for you, and I will. IâŚâ She pauses, drawing one final deep breath that becomes a shaky laugh as she exhales. âI hope I donât end up annoying you with⌠that kind of thing, but Iâve⌠always been pretty sentimental.â
The type to hold on to pictures of happier times even when tragedy strikes after them, to cherish small moments and objects.Â
âAnd⌠I hope⌠beyond everything else, that you can find some happiness still, on your end too. Please, allow yourself that if you can, even if itâs not easy or⌠or quick to find. Thatâs my⌠biggest wish of all, I think.â
Despite the pain of the circumstances, of the way that this was happening and the ache in her heart because of it, that would always be what she hoped most of all.
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I'll Follow You Into The Bark || GB + Chioko || Post-Decision
GB has nodded along to Kaneko, despite the sorrow that clung to his fur after hearing Kenta try so hard to be a good boy. That boy truly was a puppy. These morals, they truly were children, werenât they? Adults by their standards, but so young. Little pups. It wasnât wrong to cry out for what you wanted, for what you believed in. HoweverâŚ
âYou forget what you are, mortal. You spoke your opinion, let others have theirs.â
A whine and a bark, something that did not seem natural from the mouth of a dog. Was thatâŚ. Laughter? Was he laughing at her? There was arrogance, but also rage. Sorrow and pity. Humans had to deal with too many emotions. After this, he was going on a vacation where he just did dog things for a while.
âYouâre going to try to stop us? You would have to be at least a tsukumogami. No, at least a yasha to get in my way. Let nobody speak ill of her! Let nobody deny her her choice!â
He growled, and the world growled back. The room shook, rumbles sending anyone with poor balance to the ground. A threat he obviously would not go through with. Softy⌠He didnât want to hurt anyone. He didnât fight here for reasons. For one, gentleness had never been a part of him, titles aside. He had no doubt his skills would have been less effective against the Onryo as well. They were the same, both evil spirits, without that touch of divinity Kaz had. Without the neutral might of Rei. Too similar to do any real damage, but strong enough to be a bother.
He hopped down from Shigureâs arms, settling the ground around her, and only her. He would not let anyone stop her, but he would also support Shigure. GB presses his flank against her ankle, a soft whine escaping him.
âI wonât let you face this alone. Iâll stand by your side, alright? Death is something humans fear. Itâs natural. Itâs terrifying, but you know itâs not the end. Itâs painful and awful, but I wonât let it be the end. Iâll take your soul somewhere safe, where you can recover in peace. The offer is the same to you as it was to the dead before-â Even though he really only offered it to one person. âI will do whatever I can to find you happiness in the afterlife.â
âShigureâŚâ
From her seat, Chioko moved over to Shigure, a trail of tears running down her cheeks. Her body opened up to hug her friend who had chosen to sacrifice herself. It was against what Chioko wanted but that would not stop Shigure. She had accepted that. All she could do was wrap her in a sorrowful hug. Arms gently held around her, shifting and coming behind Shigure to tightly grip her. The next moment Chioko had Shigure lifted up into a bear hug from behind, trying to stop her from going anywhere.
âI said I would not let you sacrifice yourself and I was not bluffing.â If they were going to take Shigure they would need to remove Chioko from her.Â
âNo you donât.â
It was always awkward to watch smoke pool around GB and give his form more mass, making him as big as a horse. He padded around behind Chioko and picked her up by the back of the shirt, giving a little shake to make sure she dropped Shigure.
âI wonât let anyone take her choice from her. If you care for her, youâll let her take control of her own life. Her choices were stolen from her long enough.â
Squirming a bit, Chioko put up a marginal fight for a bit. Eventually she stopped, letting herself accept that there was nothing she could do. Though frustration radiated off of her for anyone who could perceive such a thing.Â
âFine⌠If there is nothing I can do, at least donât let her death go unpunished. I can not accept a man attacking an innocent girl like Shigure and going on with the rest of his life satisfied that he succeeded. He must pay in death to show him the error of his evil. Do that and I will stop fighting.âÂ
âOf course Iâm going to punish him. Iâm going to kill that human.â The sound out of GBâs muzzle was darker than his normal words. âEver since I left my forest, it became my profane right to murder any human that trips. He can run to the ends of the earth, and I will find him. But I am not so kind as to give someone so foul a quick death.â He loved Shigure too, after all.
He plopped Chioko down, but it was obvious the now-big dog did not trust her not to try again. She was stubborn. Such a silly puppy. âŚHe was so tired. This reminded him of how Lightbulb would chew on his ear when she was a newborn. Silly puppies indeed.
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