simplynotcapable

[simplynotcapable]

Fanfiction writers only want one* thing and it’s disgusting

*Comments where you explain in excruciating detail how each line made you feel

[simplynotcapable]

“but blue you’re team black shouldn’t—“

WE ARE ALL FANS OF THE SAME SHOW AND NONE OF THEM ARE REAL PEOPLE

[simplynotcapable]

everyone is making a big deal about the TG actors making fun of luke’s death and i need you guys to just sit down and take a breath.

he’s a fake little dude on a cgi dragon who got fake eaten by another fake guy’s cgi dragon. dragons don’t exist. it all happens in a fake place.

no one REALLY died, joking about it does not make them morally corrupt. please take this less seriously

#anti team green #team green #anti team black #team black #hotd #hotd season 2 #house of the dragon

[simplynotcapable]

i was not kidding about this and i hope you guys are ready to get feral live commentary when i start my reread

me: i’m going to annotate all the asoiaf books and then write a summary of them just in case you don’t want to read them all because i love you

my girlfriend: it’s 4 in the morning

[simplynotcapable]

EWANNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!! HE’S SO RADIANT!!!😭❤️

[simplynotcapable]

Every single fic update there is an author trying frantically to find the right balance between a nonchalant aside of "leave a comment if you enjoyed =)" and clinging desperately to the coat tails of a random stranger, dragging along behind them on the street wailing "Please, please! I have to know what you thought! I'm desperate to talk to people about this! Ask me about the alliterative repetition! Ask me about the symbolism!"

[simplynotcapable]

me: i’m going to annotate all the asoiaf books and then write a summary of them just in case you don’t want to read them all because i love you

my girlfriend: it’s 4 in the morning

#asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones #hotd #house of the dragon #fire and blood

[simplynotcapable]

most of the time im normal but then i remember how Rhaenyra terrified and half mad with paranoia had to sell -for crumbs- her own crown (the crown of her father and great grandfather before her) in a futile attempt to get little Aegon and herself to safety.

And then I'm reminded of a tired, bruised and beaten Rhaella, hidden underneath her cloak, rushing with little Viserys holding onto her hand and Daenerys still a baby inside her, on their way to flee the city.

Something about both of those women desperately struggling to get as far away from King's Landing as fast as possible, fleeing from their seat of power, the city they created, the city that marks their dynasty. Persecuted and hunted, with no second thought in their mind except to Save. Their. Children!

And then..how both of them, Queens in their own right, though miserable in their reigns, thought to have found their safe haven in Dragonstone. Their ancestral seat, the place which is meant to inspire safety and security in them, the place where their ancestors centuries ago fled to to escape the Doom, where all others perished, they remained protected at Dragonstone.

And there, at their most vulnerable, in this haven of theirs they both found a tragic, horrible death. Leaving behind their children, scarred for life from the events that led them there, unable to escape their mother's end, but at least surviving... But oh the cost...

And then... I think of Helaena and Elia... How they never made it out of King's Landing. How they never even managed to leave the Keep.... Their lives taken but their children weren't spared... Never even given the chance...

[simplynotcapable]

Criston was an eyewitness to Rhaenyra once again being humiliated and abused by Alicent, abuse that lasted for years, but as he walked down the same corridor, the same path where Rhaenyra was bleeding out, he could still spew nothing but venom.

And you know what makes me happy?

Criston's death will not be heroic, it will not be suitable for song, it will not be chivalrous. Team Green laments that it is an undignified death and he should die in a duel like a warrior and a knight.

No, he shouldn't.

His death is exactly as it should be. Unworthy. He was ignored, his claims and pleas ignored, his men would die, and he was shot with a crossbow like a wild game animal because no one even got dirt on their sword.

Criston did not deserve to die worthy of a knight because he was not a true knight. A real knight does not oppress children, does not kill innocents, does not act shamefully. Even Jamie bloody Lannister understood that.

Criston will die as he lived - undignified for a knight.

And that makes me happy :)

[simplynotcapable]

If Otto was REALLY smart, all he would've needed to do was to be overheard saying, "You know what I'd really hate? If Aegon was Viserys's heir." and Daemon would've moved heaven and earth to accomplish that.

[simplynotcapable]

jacaerys better serve so much targaryen cunt when he goes to the north he has to be on daenerys level north outfits for me to be even remotely interested

[simplynotcapable]

I really don't understand the writer's reasoning for race swapping the Velaryon's, when every Velaryon is mistreated or cast aside by the all white Targaryen's. Literally everyone of them.

• Corlys - Is apparently so selfish he's willing to disregard all of his blood related family to put a white boy that is no relation to him on his ancestral seat just because he carries his last name? Even though there's plenty of other actual Velaryon's that carry the Velaryon name.

• Vaemond - Gets murdered for telling the truth, and not wanting Driftmark to go to someone who isn't a true Velaryon. I think they only added him calling Rhaenyra a whore after calling her son's bastards to try and make his death justifiable, as if calling someone a bad name = off with his head.

• Laena - Is married to Daemon but knows that she isn't his first choice, and if he had his way he'd be with his (white) niece. Is stuck by his side in Pentos even though he knows she wants to return home. Supposedly dies a *badass* dragon rider death, but I just saw a pregnant black woman dying in agony. Like that doesn't already happen in real life when black women are four times more likely to die in childbirth.

• Laenor - The cuckold of all cuckolds. In almost every scene of adult Laenor he's completely miserable. And apparently he too is willing to disregard all his trueborn family to put a white boy that isn't his on the Driftmark throne. And I don't find Rhaenyra to be some great LGBTQ ally by "letting" Laenor run away and permanently leave his home and family behind so he can be with his partner and she can remarry.

• Baela and Rhaena - Have actual Velaryon blood through their mother, get passed over so another white boy can get something he has no entitlement too. Baela would have had a slim chance of ending up queen because even if Rhaenyra became queen, the lords of Westeros would have been very unlikely to accept an illegitimate son as her heir. Rhaena could become lady of Driftmark but only as a consort through Luke, meaning if he died her claim to Driftmark would die with him.

I'm all for diversity and representation, but was the family who consistently gets walked all over the best choice to make POC?

I think they were aiming for liberal and inclusive, but that doesn't really work when your white characters use and exploit the black characters you've purposely made black.

[simplynotcapable]

the thing about rhaenyra and those kids is that women exercising basic sexual autonomy is the bedrock of any just and equitable society. AND also scamming is funny. how could you not applaud her velaryon disinformation campaign

[simplynotcapable]

so i’m forcing my girlfriend to watch game of thrones right. and she is magically almost entirely unspoiled. doesn’t know anyone’s names. doesn’t know the plot. she asked me why the throne looks like that because it has to be uncomfortable. ten minutes into the first episode she goes, “i thought there were dragons in this? is that something else?”

but she does know that jaime lannister is my favorite (non-stark/non-targaryen) character in the entirety of the asoiaf universe.

and there has never been a more humbling experience than having her turn to me with her big, beautiful, betrayed brown eyes and say with horrified, earnest bafflement: “your favorite character is prince charming from shrek but incestuous”

#jaime lannister #who he is in the beginning is not representative of his character arc #brienne can fix him #please just hear me out #trust me #i swear #asoiaf #a song of ice and fire #game of thrones

[simplynotcapable]

crucial aspect of jb is that it is infinitely more embarrassing for brienne to be so into jaime. jaime is obviously obsessed with her but being obsessed with brienne is respectable he’s both insufferable and evil when she meets him. she knew already that he had three kids with his twin sister and then over the time knowing him saw him almost exclusively in incredibly humiliating situations and she’s still 💕💕💕 over him. girl get up !!!

[simplynotcapable]

God, Jaime Lannister cared so fucking much what Brienne of Tarth thought of him. 15 years. Fifteen god damn years of being called the Kingslayer. His unofficial title, the way he’ll definitely be described in the White Book posthumously, states that he’s an oath breaker, that he killed his liege that he swore to protect. Never did he, not fucking once, defend himself from that title. Not once did he reveal that he was protecting Kings Landing from a cruel king. Not once did he justify his actions that paint him as, whether or not you give a fuck about the targs, a bad guy. A turncloak. An oath breaker. A man who was pardoned because of who he was to the new King. He didn’t give a fuck if people thought he was honorable or not.

And then Brienne of Tarth calls him Kingslayer to his face. He can’t stand that, and it’s not long before he’s revealing his motivations to her. He dreams about her. He gifts her a priceless sword called Oathkeeper. He cares so so much about her opinion of him. He fixates on his honor after they part ways and he probably hopes that word of his honorable actions, his refusal to spill Tully blood, reaches the ears of the Maid of Tarth.

[simplynotcapable]

yes i did purchase a $100 game of thrones themed mystery box just because it contains an autograph (i have no idea whose) why do you ask