sparkletastic-cookiedough

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

“I’m not certain how illegal it is. Not a law expert or anything like that.”

“You do have a fair number of protections even if you suspect something might be illegal but it actually isn’t,” Jimmy opens his computer and pulls up his ‘whistleblower laws’ folder, a very useful resource for a journalist to have. “And if it’s something that’s actively endangering people, you’re especially protected under a few different laws.”

Wes looks over the documents that Jimmy has open. “Huh. It looks like I am legally covered. Neato.”

Jimmy waits for Wes to start explaining, an event that doesn’t occur.

“Wes, bud, are you going to explain things?”

“Alright, uh, that contract? That’s just the paper one, the official ‘legal’ one. But there’s actually another. So… how much do you know about magic contracts?”

Jimmy thinks things over for a few moments, putting the pieces together. In truth, this garbage disposal thing was the last straw in a long line of weird things Jimmy has noticed about Wes’s hometown. Stuff like tensing up when people say ‘I wish’ or long rants about how cemeteries are incredibly stupid.

“Wes,” Jimmy says, trying desperately to connect the dots in his mind “did you grow up in actual hell or something? Even Gotham isn’t that crazy!”

Wes laughs.

//-\\-//-\\

“I’m telling you, Clark, it annoys my reporter senses. I can feel a story there. Just today, he told me he’s under a magical contract that prevents him from telling people about his hometown.”

Clark Kent looks deep in thought. “Jimmy, do you think this is something dangerous? Something that’s harming civilians?”

Jimmy thinks for a few moments. “It’s hard to tell. You know how it is. It could be a supervillain thing. It could be something innocent that’s been taken over by bad actors. It could be nothing nefarious, but it looks bad from the outside.”

Clark nods. “So we need more information.”

“Yeah, but unless you have an expert in magical law handy, we’re kind of stuck.”

“I might know someone who can help.”

\\-//-\\-//

“Since when are you able to contact Zatanna Zatara on short notice?” Jimmy questions Clark. “It would have made the entertainment beat so easy, Clark! We could’ve been interviewing her this whole time!”

Clark looks sheepish.

Zatanna steps in. “Kent only received my contact information recently. But if you want, you can do my next interview next time I’m in metropolis for a show.” She winks at him, handing over a buisness card.

Jimmy blushes.

Zatanna is a master of misdirection. It applies to conversation more often than one might think, especially since she works with secret identities so often.

Jimmy knocks on the door. Technically, it’s his apartment too, but he’s in reporter-mode right now. Wes knows he’s coming over for an interview and bringing a consultant and one of his friends from work, so it doesn’t take long for him to answer the door.

Wes looks at them for a few seconds in a bit of shock. “Dude,” he says to Jimmy “since when is Superman a reporter?”

Clark smiles and gives a bit of an awkward laugh. “Yeah, I’ve heard we look alike before.”

“This is Clark Kent,” Jimmy says, “he’s my friend from work.”

“Like the Justice League?”

Clark lets out another awkward laugh, and glances at Zatanna for help. He’s never been good at socializing.

Zatanna is staring at Wes. She inspects him like a puzzle she can’t seem to figure out.

Jimmy ushers everyone inside before closing the door. They move to the sitting area, a couch and a few chairs tucked to one half of the apartment. Since the pair don’t normally have guests, one of the chairs is taken over by a stack of board games, some junk mail, a winter jacket, and other miscellaneous things. This means they’re short a chair. Jimmy sits on the floor.

“All jokes aside-“ Clark tries to start.

“It’s not a joke. Look, I get the whole secret identity thing is important to you for some reason. But there’s no reason to keep up the whole charade when everyone here already knows.”

Jimmy just blinks because has Wes gone insane? There’s no way that Clark Kent could actually be Superman.

“And if I’m being honest,” Wes continues “you could probably disguise yourself better. Your voices sound really similar, and you don’t have a mask or change hair color or anything.”

Jimmy supposes they look similar.

“I don’t believe I introduced myself.” Zatanna smiles politely. “Zatanna Zatara. You could say I know a thing or two about magic.”

“Wes Weston. At least you don’t have a secret identity.”

“I’m going to do a few diagnostic spells to make sure there’s no lingering curses or anything on you.” Wes nods, and Zatanna starts casting.

Jimmy watches as Wes’s body shifts. His skin becomes paler. His eyes brighter, almost glowing. His teeth sharpen into fangs, his fingers into claws. Jim feels his heart pounding and his breath quicken. Something about his friend feels cold and dark and endless. Jimmy hates it, he wants to run and hide but he can’t move, and he doesn’t think he can outrun whatever that thing is.

Zatanna pulls back, reverting Wes to his initial form. Jimmy feels his body begin to calm down. How could his friend possibly hide that kind of thing? Whatever it was, it was terrifying.

Jimmy looks up at Wes, and sees concern and fear spread across his friends face.

And Jimmy knows that Wes never meant to scare him. Wes is still his friend, even if he’s secretly a demon or something.

“I’ve felt magic like this before” says Zatanna. “What do you know about Ra’s Al Ghul?”

In Amity Park, you pour your cooking oil down the drain. Wes was not told that this action was inappropriate anywhere else.

It served two functions; the melted plastic bits would bring about the Blob Ghosts that liked fixing things, thereby making sure they had some on hand in case the house got damaged by a ghost attack, and the blockage would slow down the other, more ravenous Blob Ghosts; the ones that ate trash.

Except that "trash" really meant "anything inanimate", and it was better to hold those off with a distraction while summoning the helpful Blobs.

When Wes was doing what he normally did, his new roommate almost broke his legs vaulting over the counter to stop him.

"What are you doing?!" Jimmy shouted, voice cracking. "You'll melt the plastic bits and clog the pipes!"

"....Yes?" Wes didn't understand.

Then he did.

"Oh! You don't have the-okay. So how do I get rid of it here, then?"

"No, go back. We don't have the...what?"

Wes sighed, put down the pan, and pulled up a copy of the NDA he'd signed to be able to leave Amity Park.

"Confidential."

Jimmy, somehow, convinces him to break the NDA on the grounds that NDA's are not legally binding if the corporation or group that made him sign it were doing anything illegal.

Then Jimmy convinces him to say everything about his town again, but to his reporter friend Clark Kent.

Somehow, that evolved into Wes visiting his parents and smuggling both Jimmy and Clark into Amity Park.

#dpxdc

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Tax laws in something like the DC universe are probably absolutely insane though:

“So even if you wouldn’t meet the scientific definition of ‘alive’, the legal definition is slightly different. You may qualify as a living person, with all the rights and regulations that entails.” Jim, the specialist accountant and lawyer that Tim hired patiently explains over the zoom conference.

Tim, under the false identity of ‘Gunther Rook’ listens with absolute interest. Sure, he technically doesn’t need to use a fake identity for this, but he really enjoys disguises.

“Now I understand these matters are sensitive, but I would be able to offer more assistance if you give me more information” Jim continues, “First of all, are you a citizen of the United States?”

“Uh,” Danny says, “I don’t know. I was born a citizen, if that helps.”

“That Absolutely narrows it down, thanks. And you have documentation about that?”

“Yeah”

“Brilliant. You’re probably going to still have a normal tax rate, unless your condition qualifies as a disability; you’ve legally emigrated the United States; or both your workplace and or workplaces and your permanent address are both outside of this dimension, country, or time.”

“Alright, but if I have both a job in this dimension and in another one?”

“Income earned in another dimension is subject to-“

“Oh no,” Danny interrupted “I don’t earn income in the other dimension! It’s sort of like an unpaid internship crossed with a favors system and an inherited monarchy?”

Jim’s eyes gleam with interest. “That doesn’t sound entirely legal. I might need to speak with your employers.”

(Clockwork feels a chill run down his spine.)

It's Danny's first time doing his taxes, and he's reaching out to an online friend to help him. This is how he discovers that as far as the rest of the world is concerned, Amity Park is a barely contained zombie outbreak.

He'd made an online friend, Bart, and they played video games a lot.

Danny's fulltime job is inventing alongside his parents, and as that makes him self-employed (he doesn't work for his parents just next to them), this makes his taxes a little...scary. And it's his first tax season.

He reaches out to Bart, and asks if he knows anyone who files as self employed and if they'd be able to give him some guidance.

He can't ask his parents because, apparently, they've just been throwing random numbers on the papers and have no interest in actually doing them. Danny would like to do this properly.

Also he would like to know how his parents haven't been arrested? Questions for later.

So he shoots a message to Bart, who's apparently in the middle of some sort of sleepover with all of his old friends. Bart assures him that it's fine, and they'll all pitch in to help.

They just need to know his city and state so that the nerd of the group, some guy named Tim, can look up local state and city tax law.

When he tells them he's from Amity Park, there's no response for a good ten minutes.

What follows is a barely legible request for a phone number to call, and a group of people on the other side shouting and asking how he's avoided dying in the hellscape zombie apocalypse that is Amity Park.

Danny has no idea what the other shit means, but he's not about to dodge a chance to make a dead joke when he has one.

"I mean. If you wanna get technical, I didn't. Is...that something that'll effect my taxes?"

OR: The GIW has been lying to keep the Justice League and Justice League Dark out of Amity Park by declaring it a Disaster Zone, stating that not only is there massive pollutants in the air and soil, but that the undead run rampant and are barely contained. The wording they use, however, is a little weird upon closer inspection. It never specifies zombie, and it never says what pollutants. Danny's not super interested about that, though; he just wants to pay his taxes so that the IRS doesn't kill him in his sleep.

#dpxdc

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

What if Batman was just really short.

Like, still the intimidating guy, spooky presence and all that, just short size.

He likes to lurk on rooftops and whatnot because it means his enemies have to look up for a change.

Every Robin ends up taller than him.

Next to Justice League members like Wonder Woman and Superman who are both really tall, Batman is a lil guy.

He engineered the Justice league watchtower just to have little alcoves near the ceiling to sit at like a weird little cryptid.

#batman

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

I want Sam to be a sort of god-like presence that forces people into game shows. Similar in focus to Mr.Mxyzptlk, where it’s a being of pure chaos.

He’s not technically a rouge, because he’s not doing tons of harm. Usually the games are harmless, if a bit unethical.

Imagine Riddler on Game Changer.

I think that Sam should have fourth wall breaking powers. He’s well aware that he’s on a show, and is aware of the dc multiverse.

Which means we can have spin offs where he gets like, thirty different jokers together, and has them do a clown-off.

He gets every Robin together to compete for the title of best Robin.

I think Batman wouldn’t be good at Game Changer, since he’d refuse to play. However, Bruce Wayne would probably play. Which is why Bruce Wayne is a frequent contestant.

There’s trivia sections where every question is some sort of trap.

Sam: Alright, trivia contestants! Which of Batman’s rouges, villains, rivals, or enemies will and or does Batman have a biological child with?

Robin Jason starts gagging.

Sam: Let’s start with Original Robin?

Dick: Catwoman?

Sam: Angry Robin?

Jason: Poison Ivy.

Sam: Stalker Robin?

Tim: ….I resent that name, but it’s absolutely Catwoman.

Sam: Sorry, no repeat answers allowed!

Tim: Selina Kyle.

Sam: I’ll allow it. Girl Robin?

Steph: trick question, Batman can’t have kids because he’s a virgin for life.

Sam: That is a good answer. Sword Robin?

Damian: Thalia Al Ghul. I already know the others are incorrect, as there is only one heir to the Bat’s legacy.

Sam: Alright, that’s points for Original, Stalker, and Girl Robins.

*Damian is having a crisis.*

In another universe, Sam Reich is part of Batman's rogues' gallery.

#game changer

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

I think the bats would meet and eventually come to a few possible conclusions:

1. Someone’s doing clones, but they’re not very good at it. This would explain how Danny has no appearances prior to a specific date. Clones are very much a plausable explanation. It explains the bodies disappearing, sort of. If the body destabilized and evaporated, it could vanish like that (Cass is skeptical of this). It also explains the fact that the bodies are so weak- terrible cloning. How and why are these terrible clones out in the wild? Good question. That’s for the Bats to investigate.

2. It’s a magical illusion. The bats are no stranger to their villains specifically targeting them. This is an incredibly messed up illusion designed to distract them, and to emotionally distress them. The kids dark hair is probably chosen to remind them of their family members. This explaination covers the bodies disappearing, but it doesn’t cover how Barbara can later find the person on cameras in the city just going about their lives?

3. Metahuman with a healing power that makes the body weaker. This theory works best conjoined with one of the other two. It explains how Danny is just a normal dude sometimes.

Alongside this theory are fringe theories such as “we’re living in a simulation right now” and “drugs?”

And with Ectoplasm being weaker, what if it’s due to ectoplasm corruption? Danny is taking the corrupted ectoplasm into his body naturally, and is becoming weaker and weaker because of it.

Depending on how you splice in the fanon, this can have a few side effects:

- Danny is slowly going insane.

- Jason is also suffering, just not as much. Maybe his ghost bod is used to corruption. Maybe Jason is just good at hiding it and adapting?

Whatever the case is, the conflict is this:

Danny needs clean ectoplasm in order to get home.

To do that, he needs to build a purifier and condenser. However, it requires parts that would be difficult to get under the best of circumstances. Danny has no legal ID or money.

Building giant suspicious contraptions is difficult in Gotham, considering the Bats and Rouges.

And if we add in the ectoplasm corruption, Danny is also slowly going crazy.

Point is, Danny is having a bad time.

I’ve seen a number of imagines where due to interdimensional shenanigans or being liminal, Danny Phantom is more durable than most people in the dc dimension.

And those are cool and fine and all, but imagine if it was the opposite?

Danny Fenton gets punched twice and dies.

Which is fun on its own, but Danny is half ghost. He’s cursed to an existence where he can never truly be alive or dead for all eternity. Meaning that after a little while, Danny is back at it again, on the streets of Gotham in the same fleshy body he just died in.

He has to turn into ghost form first, but he can turn invisible as a ghost, so it’s fine, no one sees him glowing before he heads into an inconspicuous alleyway to return to life.

The blood stains would be a problem, but it’s Gotham so no one bats an eye.

Except for the bats.

(Warning: some death, corpses, and gore ahead)

—————

It always haunts Duke when he fails to save someone. He’s a hero now, and that’s part of the gig, but still.

He keeps wondering if maybe he had been faster, or stronger, or just a moment sooner, maybe then the civilian would’ve lived.

He sees the corpse in his nightmares, a reminder that he wasn’t good enough. It’s not rational, but Duke can’t get the image of the dead teen out of his head- the lifeless blue eyes, the dark hair, the…

… is that him?

No, it can’t be. It looks a lot like the kid, but his mind must be playing tricks on him or something. Because he saw that kid die. This kid, across the street, they must be someone else. Maybe they’re related?

Duke hears a commotion down a nearby alley, and leaves the mystery for later.

—————

Cass is concerned about this dead body.

In her line of work, it’s normal to see a lot of corpses. What’s strange about this one is that it makes no sense.

It’s splattered on the ground like it fell from a skyscraper. The tallest building in the area is five stories high.

The body is too fresh to have been from a while ago. It doesn’t show signs of having been moved. There weren’t any helicopters in the area recently it might’ve fallen from.

She surveys the area again. Perhaps this is a trap?

No security cameras or bad guys in sight.

She turns back to the body-

It’s gone. Only a pool of blood remains, undisturbed.

No one could have snuck past her. Something strange is going on.

—————

The bullet Jason shot shouldn’t have done this much damage.

The teenager was accidentally hit in a hostage situation. Usually Jason doesn’t miss like that, but the bullet should have just nicked him. A bandaid should have done the trick.

But this kid is leaking blood like a fire hose. It’s absolutely gushing out.

You never realize how much blood a human body has in it until you see it spread out all over the floor.

Jason puts pressure on the wound, damn the bad guys he is not having a dead civilian on his hands if he can help it.

He grabs a tourniquet from the first aid pack he carries. Fastens it around the kids arm-

- and the kid’s arm flops off. Not normal. Either Jason has just gotten Superman-levels of strength, or something is wrong with the kid.

The kid’s rapid breaths devolve into quick gasps. The blood from his wound slows to a trickle. Jason feels the kids heart go from pounding to nothing-

Fuck.

Instinct driving Jason more than any sense of reason, he puts the kid on his back to do chest compressions.

Jason pushes down. He hears a loud Squelch. His hands go through the kid’s torso.

Double fuck. Jason might know CPR, but he doesn’t know how to deal with this. His panicked-brain remembers he’s in a fight right now, and Jason turns towards the people who held the kid hostage.

They immediately surrender.

#cardboard Danny au #gosh this would make a good fic #I could (insert plot points)! #add it to my writing pile.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Offering you:

Batman: if anything, Bruce Wayne is a mask in the way I’m supposed to act around people. The proper behavior that people want to see. Nothing is real when I’m Bruce Wayne, but I have to act a certain way due to the public spotlight.

Tim: oh yeah, that’s the autism masking I’ve heard about.

Batman: the what

/-\-/-\

Batman: Dick, you need to act polite and relatively normal during this gala. It’s important for charity.

Dick: sure thing, dad.

*later, Dick is swinging from the chandelier*

Bruce Wayne: ha, kids, am I right?

/-\-/-\

Batman: Jason, please don’t do anything strange at this gala, it’s important for charity.

Jason: shut up, old man.

*later Jason bites someone*

Batman: Jason, why?

Jason: tried to touch my shoulder, I didn’t expect it, and defended.

Batman: That’s reasonable. I sent out a warning not to touch. She should’ve known better.

(Bruce Wayne proceeds to not let any reporters cover his son’s outburst in a negative light.)

/-\-/-\

Cass, after a long gala: *stares at bruce* how?

Bruce: you get used to it. Like exercising, you build up stamina over time. And you take time to recover afterwards.

/-\-/-\

Damian: I do not see the point in all this spectacle. It would be far more efficient to simply donate the money and be done with it.

Alfred: Master Bruce had a similar problem back when he was your age. You must realize that these events are beneficial in multiple ways: public perception of the Wayne image, community morale, awareness of the cause, and so on.

Damian: I see. In that case, I will do my absolute best to represent father in a positive light.

*Damian proceeds to bring his dog as his plus one to the gala*

/-\-/-\

Barbara: I attended a gala once. Never again.

Dick: Please Babs? It would be good for the plan if you were there.

Barbara: … what if I attended virtually? I could check in through the cameras. You could have your comms, and I could use that to communicate if needed.

Dick: …fine.

Damian: how is it fair that Barbara gets to be Oracle during the gala, when I have to be Damian Wayne the whole night?

Batman doesn't actually adopt every traumatized orphan he comes across, just the neurodivergent ones. He's undiagnosed autistic and he can sense his kids are like him in some way. With Dick he thought it was just the parents thing, but then he meets Jason, and he goes: "He is just like me, but why? He must be an orphan too." And whit Tim: "This one has parents, so why is he my kid?" And with Damian, he doesn't even question it anymore, it's probably some sort of parent child sense. When he meets Cass and Duke he just goes: "Ah yes, more children"

Only once one of them gets diagnosed (Probably either Tim or Damian) do the others start looking into it and they all separately think "Hey that's just like me".

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

This, and canon itself is a squishy and non-solid thing.

The thing with franchises is that they incorporate writing elements that are created for different audiences, with different purposes, with different authors. The characters aren’t going to end up perfectly consistent, since the individual authors are using their own takes.

Every version of Batman is called Batman, despite the fact that iterations can vary a lot.

I also see a lot of gatekeeping as to what is officially canon, and the benchmark is usually “do I like it?”

Because, let me ask you, what is canon? What does that even mean?

Things that are officially, professionally created by DC arent always considered canon. They aren’t even internally consistent all the time.

Even if it’s the same characters, with the same voice actors, on the same network, the characters can be incredibly different interpretations of eachother. This is Teen Titans vs Teen Titans Go, that’s what I’m talking about.

So which characterization is the true one? Eh, it’s difficult to explain.

Arguably, they both have their own internal canons that they ascribe to. The shows will usually write the characters consistently within the same show. It might not flow perfectly within a larger universe, but who cares? It doesn’t have to.

Canon isn’t real, actually. Open your mind. There is no one true Batman who is the most Batman. Batman is a concept that exists. But it exists on a spectrum of endless possibilities.

That, and fanfic authors don’t owe it to you to remain consistent to any specific source media. You aren’t paying these people money.

On a side tangent, even though I’ve watched/read some official dc properties, it always seems like the version I enjoy isn’t the “canon” one. I like the more cartoony styles, and I get more enjoyment out of stuff that’s lighter and more comedic. Just because the version of Batman I like isn’t the same variation that you like, doesn’t mean I can’t play with the character. It doesn’t mean you get to tell me off for not making myself watch the darker gritty content that I’m not a fan of.

DC fandom is the only fandom where saying "you could try to read their comics and engage with their characters outside of shipping lenses and fanon tropes" is seen as an insult

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

nothing in my head except for thoughts of bruce and constantine co-parenting billy.

like it could very well be platonic co parents bruce and john, but i think it could be a very tense pining situation - but doesn’t matter, however you interpret it just imagine how funny the dynamics would be

john: well i saw him first

bruce drafting up adoption papers: too bad

—

john: and if you trace this rune here you can summon trigon, although raven will get her knickers in a twist over it

bruce: no summoning powerful demon lords in the manor

billy: but bruceeeeee

—

billy: dad

bruce and john: yes? [glaring at eachother appalled that the other thinks they have the right to think of themselves of billy’s father]

billy totally doing this on purpose with a shit eating grin: dad?

—

teacher: so are you little billy’s father?

bruce and john simultaneously: yes

teacher: oh! just know we are a very accepting community and find your relationship heartwarming! now if you would head this way i believe billy drew a wonderful portrait of your massive families mr. wayne’s

bruce snaking a hand around john’s waist, grinding his teeth: of course, shall we dear?

john pinching bruce so hard he’s sure it draws blood: yes anything you say love

billy: aw man there goes my two christmases… :(

—

billy: this is why i like dad’s better, at least he lets me summon supernatural kings from other dimensions

bruce in tears: you don’t mean that

—

bruce: i’m not letting you keep a tiger at the manor

john: don’t be ass, let the boy have his talking tiger

bruce: oh well i don’t think you have a say in this mr. ‘soul tax evader’

john: oh fuck off you furry bat

billy: god, if you’re there, i really don’t wanna see them make out in front of me

—

damian and billy playing a board game while gossiping:

billy: my dad and your dad wanna smash, don’t they?

damian sighing: unfortunately constantine’s… rugged look has enamored my father

billy:…

damian: …

billy: ten bucks says they ‘consummate’ their marriage by the end of the month

damian: hm, twenty dollars that by the end of this week they’ve had preformed coitus

—

billy: i miss when you guys were at each others throats, no one wants to see you guys grope each other at breakfast

dick: i think it’s sweet

jason: they defiled the library, definitely not sweet dickhead, it’s practically child abuse to watch them basically on top of each other

—

idk i think it’s a neat au, even if there’s no canon whatsoever to make this even sort of plausible in the slightest.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

damian standing next to billy: father i have made a friend.

bruce: it’s wonderful you’re making friends your own age without the —

damian lightly shoving billy out of the way to reveal a massive bengal tiger: this is tawky tawny a talking tiger whom i’ve befriended, i don’t know who this is

bruce: …

billy unbothered and waving enthusiastically: i’m billy batson!

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

At first I was wondering if this shift made Bruce a Kryptonian, but realized there’s also potential in making their backstories scramble together:

(Warning, I’m not the most familiar with all the dc lore, and actually googled stuff to make this post.)

Bruce Wayne is Metropolis-based hero Superman. After the death of his parents, he initially falls to angst and depression. Then he realizes that he must become the symbol of hope he needs, and dons the abilities of Superman. He disguises his technology as alien powers. Most people, including Lex Luthor, fall for this. Few, such as Barbra Gordon, now Supergirl, do not.

Clark Kent is secretly an alien, who desperately wants to disguise as a human. For his entire life, he sought to hide his abilities in favor of fitting in. As a journalist, Clark knows the kind of discrimination meta-humans face. He’s seen the backlash to Superman. Thus he hides his nature. After getting trapped on a deserted island with the famous Bruce Wayne, they discover each others secrets. Bruce trains Clark in combat so he can fake being a normal human in a believable way.

Arthur Curry was born king of Atlantis. A plot to overtake the throne results in Arthur getting involved in a lab accident. Instead of dying, Arthur gets superpowers. Now he’s got superspeed.

Diana Prince abandoned her life at Thmyscyria in order to discover herself and humanity. She finds herself in Gotham, a city absolutely devastated by crime. Diana is furious at the fact that her people of elite warriors aren’t doing anything to help the people of Gotham. She dons the disguise of Batman in order to do something, and to hide from the Amazons that want her to return.

Oliver Queen receives a ring from a dying alien, who sees greatness in him. Immediately, he’s out of his depth. A life of privilege didn’t lend itself to developing a rock solid willpower. However, under the training of the Green Lantern Corps, he discovers purpose in life.

Dinah Lance was raised by the original Black Canary. She became an expert martial artist, and eventually started as a vigilante. In her work fighting crime, she encounters Orm, king of Atlantis. She uses magical artifacts to help fight underwater. After a convoluted set of ocean politics and attempted assassinations, she ends up Queen of Atlantis.

Barry Allen ends up taken in by Amazon warriors. He’s got diluted demigod blood in him or something, and the Amazons are frustrated and searching for a new chosen one after Diana goes missing.

Hal Jordan is rescued from the Wizard by Black Canary. Hal developed a sonic scream after his encounter. Inspired by his savior, Hal Jordan trains and becomes the new Black Canary.

Hero Swap Pt. 1

Part 2 here 👇

#can you tell I’m not familiar with half the lore #dc comics

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Thinking about this like “there’s no way that Batman wouldn’t research Superman and already know Superman’s secret identity and also his social security number”

But-

There’s something so wholesome and so lack of Angsty about Adam West Batman that makes it very charming.

And I want to think that maybe Batman doesn’t know because he knows Superman, did a bit of investigating to make sure the guy was safe, and then stopped because researching more would be a privacy violation and Batman is fairly certain that Superman is a good guy.

That there’s one Batman who can trust others.

Batman already knows about Kryptonite. He doesn’t need any other weaknesses to play off of, he’s worked with less before. Besides, if Superman ever went rouge, he has the whole Justice League to back him up.

i am unironically obsessed with adam west batman not only trying to be a good dad to robin, but actually succeeding. also love robin's insane energy levels and his ability to go from seething bloodlust to manic glee in record time. i think any superman worth his S would fit right into the family ^_^

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Batman, but most of his rouge gallery are Bruce Wayne’s exes.

Batman, but he keeps finding more biological kids he had with villains.

Batman, where Playboy Billionaire Bruce Wayne truly is a playboy, and in fact has fathered a true quantity of children. He chose “seduce for information” a few too many times.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

It’s great until you remember that Batman is the most skeptical skeptic to ever.

Batman notices that the rouges are meeting up with a “civilian” inventor fairly regularly. A concerning number of villains or villain aligned people end up at this one apartment in Gotham.

If this is some sort of sinister plot, it could end very badly.

So Batman starts coming up with counter measures. He researches everything related to Jack Fenton.

He finds the man’s kids. He searches their records, and discovers lots of secrets. Specifically, looking to far into Danny Fenton gave the Batcomputer a virus.

So the guy has something to hide. Not a good sign.

Batman needs to be prepared. He emails the Justice League Dark a list of questions about ghosts. Might as well cover all his bases, even if the ghost hunter angle doesn’t come up with any conclusions.

Dp x DC Jack is single AU

I just want you to imagine a reveal where Jack takes it well and Maddie doesn’t, resulting in a divorce and Jack getting custody

Then the kids grow up. A couple years pass, Jazz visits on holidays, calls once a week to check in, Danny just went off to college

So what we have is Jack Fenton, divorced empty nester now with way to much time on his hands

So he starts going out to meet people

The problem? He ends up in a rogues bar in Gotham and is oblivious to the fact he’s meeting/flirting with supervillains

And Jack is happy as a clam! He’s meeting all these interesting people with PhDs! He has a PhD!

#dp x dc

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

I’ve seen a number of imagines where due to interdimensional shenanigans or being liminal, Danny Phantom is more durable than most people in the dc dimension.

And those are cool and fine and all, but imagine if it was the opposite?

Danny Fenton gets punched twice and dies.

Which is fun on its own, but Danny is half ghost. He’s cursed to an existence where he can never truly be alive or dead for all eternity. Meaning that after a little while, Danny is back at it again, on the streets of Gotham in the same fleshy body he just died in.

He has to turn into ghost form first, but he can turn invisible as a ghost, so it’s fine, no one sees him glowing before he heads into an inconspicuous alleyway to return to life.

The blood stains would be a problem, but it’s Gotham so no one bats an eye.

Except for the bats.

(Warning: some death, corpses, and gore ahead)

—————

It always haunts Duke when he fails to save someone. He’s a hero now, and that’s part of the gig, but still.

He keeps wondering if maybe he had been faster, or stronger, or just a moment sooner, maybe then the civilian would’ve lived.

He sees the corpse in his nightmares, a reminder that he wasn’t good enough. It’s not rational, but Duke can’t get the image of the dead teen out of his head- the lifeless blue eyes, the dark hair, the…

… is that him?

No, it can’t be. It looks a lot like the kid, but his mind must be playing tricks on him or something. Because he saw that kid die. This kid, across the street, they must be someone else. Maybe they’re related?

Duke hears a commotion down a nearby alley, and leaves the mystery for later.

—————

Cass is concerned about this dead body.

In her line of work, it’s normal to see a lot of corpses. What’s strange about this one is that it makes no sense.

It’s splattered on the ground like it fell from a skyscraper. The tallest building in the area is five stories high.

The body is too fresh to have been from a while ago. It doesn’t show signs of having been moved. There weren’t any helicopters in the area recently it might’ve fallen from.

She surveys the area again. Perhaps this is a trap?

No security cameras or bad guys in sight.

She turns back to the body-

It’s gone. Only a pool of blood remains, undisturbed.

No one could have snuck past her. Something strange is going on.

—————

The bullet Jason shot shouldn’t have done this much damage.

The teenager was accidentally hit in a hostage situation. Usually Jason doesn’t miss like that, but the bullet should have just nicked him. A bandaid should have done the trick.

But this kid is leaking blood like a fire hose. It’s absolutely gushing out.

You never realize how much blood a human body has in it until you see it spread out all over the floor.

Jason puts pressure on the wound, damn the bad guys he is not having a dead civilian on his hands if he can help it.

He grabs a tourniquet from the first aid pack he carries. Fastens it around the kids arm-

- and the kid’s arm flops off. Not normal. Either Jason has just gotten Superman-levels of strength, or something is wrong with the kid.

The kid’s rapid breaths devolve into quick gasps. The blood from his wound slows to a trickle. Jason feels the kids heart go from pounding to nothing-

Fuck.

Instinct driving Jason more than any sense of reason, he puts the kid on his back to do chest compressions.

Jason pushes down. He hears a loud Squelch. His hands go through the kid’s torso.

Double fuck. Jason might know CPR, but he doesn’t know how to deal with this. His panicked-brain remembers he’s in a fight right now, and Jason turns towards the people who held the kid hostage.

They immediately surrender.

#dpxdc #batman

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Damn, all my WIPs would be so good if I actually finished/started them.

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

It’s within canon that quirks become more powerful over time, as you use them. And also that they’ll change or shift as the users needs change and shift.

So maybe it’s more along the lines of slowly gaining sentience to fit the needs of the person you’re attached to.

It starts with one lonely kid who wants someone to play with them, who desperately longs to not feel so alone. And so their bodies react to that. Creates a way that they no longer need to be alone anymore.

They have a friend now. Someone who will always be there for them.

And maybe the personality of the quirk is shaped by the needs of the user. A rowdy boy has a quirk who will wrap themselves around the user and slowly heal them. Or maybe their quirk is tough and strong, able to keep up with them in a way no one else can.

Maybe a child who wants to run away from home gets a quirk that lets them fly or teleport.

This manifestation of quirks might not be super canon, but it works well for creating drama.

A kid adapts to an abusive home by creating a quirk that’s strong enough to fight back. Then they’re removed, but are left with this powerful quirk that developed out of necessity.

And outside of their home, the way they’ve adapted is now causing problems. They aren’t supposed to ward off potential threats before they become a problem.

You can’t truly get rid of the quirk though. It’s large and scary to tell people not to mess with you, but that’s not useful for making friends.

Even if you can’t change your quirks appearance, it’s sentient. You can change its mindset. You can explain that you don’t need to be on guard all the time, and that keeping everyone and everything away is damaging.

Still, your quirk is on guard. It’s afraid. It’s always there to protect you, whether you like it or not.

My WIP fairy hates me. But like... in that homoerotic Nemesis sorta way, I swear.

Cease an desist, woman! (I scream into the void, knowing damn well she, being my own brain, SHAN'T.)

Cause NOW? Now I CAN NOT stop Pondering, with a Capitol P, the life of a Sentient Quirk. The trials and tribulations. The indignities and sufferings. Countless micro-aggression and out right dismissal of sentience. The reduction to the EXTENSION of another.

You are not a person.

You are JUST a Quirk.

An organ that "thinks" itself separate, in the way knees spasm when struck just so. The child you are attached to just needs to get better CONTROL of you. Your words and actions are actually THEIRS. You are simultaneously an unruly animal and strange adult, not allowed near other peoples children.

Why are you trying to follow this four year old into their school? Why are you SITTING out side a pre-school? Are you stalking that child?

You are a grown adult. Connected to a random Japanese child.

The child is expected to "control" you.

Punished if they do not.

No one is listen to EITHER of you, as you try to explain the situation. The child is upset, scared, and does not have the emotional maturity to understand why you are not to blame. All they can understand is that you appeared and everything became stressful and "bad". They started getting punished. Have to share their room now.

Do you even have rights? If you get hurt, get MAIMED, what will happen to you? Can you hold a job? Own land? Open a bank account? Fuck it! Can you have a RELATIONSHIP?

If you went out RIGHT NOW and punched a purse thief, would the FOUR YEAR OLD be arrested?

If the kid grows up, becomes a hero, and you do secretarial work... does his license cover you? If YOU wanted to become a Hero, would he be your hero partner? Could he technically sit in a corner and let you work?

If no one could TELL, over an internet connection, then surely that should prove SOMETHING? Right?

And! The question NO ONE ever seems to ask!

Could..... could you LEAVE? Do people have the right to force you back? If you don't WANT to be some kid's Quirk? You're sentient. If, unlike Dark Shadow, you are not PHYSICALLY connected, but tethered by distance?

Could. You. Leave?

Just "Allright, I'm out. The way you're all treating me is unacceptable. See ya never." And walk out the door? You'd be able to gain distance as the kid grew older. As long as you hid? You be homeless, without papers, but free.

A sentient Quirk means free will. Means you don't HAVE to do shit. It's like being born with a twin, not a slave. And that Twin does NOT have to put up with your bullshit. YOU are the one asking THEM to work with you, after all.

This? Of course, ALSO just ABSOLUTELY BEGS the question? What if that four year old grew up to be a BASTARD? Just... NO self reflection or empathy. Everything is everyone else's fault, always. And they want a NEW Quirk. One that won't question them.

So they sell theirs, buy a new one. Probably die off screen trying to throw it around.

What happens to you THEN? Pain, obviously. Like... massive, massive amounts of pain. You ARE a Quirk. You're being ripped out by your metaphorical roots. By the NERVE ENDINGS. But? Do you... for lack of a better word, "reset"?

Are you back infront of "your" person? Or do you stay, safely, where you are? Both would be fascinating, honestly. Because I imagine All for One? Does NOT get sentient quirks often. If at all.

They'd sooner kill themselves.

After all, if your choice is "kill yourself and your beloved twin" or "be ripped apart and watch them die horribly, then be used to go against everything you both stood for"? You weep and promise to make it fast.

Then you make it fast.

It's... really annoying, I'd imagine, for All for One. It's not necessarily that he WANTS a sentient Quirk. But they are INTERESTING. And he likes interesting.

He also likes owning things that can't leave. Ever.

So of course he'll poke and prod at the Quirk. It will inevitably be a nightmare, either way. Because EVERY Sentient Quirk has some degree of communication aspect to it. Just because the original holder never figured it out, doesn't mean HE can't.

And while your range may now be much, MUCH bigger? Because the fucker is strong as hell? How useful is that... if he can talk to you when ever HE feels like it? Day or night. 24/7.

And that's assuming you don't reset. God help you if you reset. Because THEN your STANDING infront of, most likely, pre-face-smash All for One. Who's looking at you like he just won a Mildly Interesting Prize and you would PREFER HE NOT. But what are you gonna do?

Walk out again?

You think THAT'S an option here?!

I mean... you can and do TRY. But, obviously not. So like? Fuck ™.

THEN the question becomes? Would YOU go to Tarturaus. Are you a hostage? Or an accomplice? You have the same level of power and authority as a cat, deliberately knocking pages of tables and cups to the floor, but... like? Oooooh~ oh yeah! THATS gonna slow him down! His empire crumbles beneath the sheer MIGHT of your petty inconveniences!

*trips the doctor again*

Fffffuck you.

#I don’t know what this is #bnha

[sparkletastic-cookiedough]

Version 5 is the good sauce.

Consider: All might wants to protect Izuku from this horrible fate.

So he flirts with Inko.

Now Izuku is in the most dramatic situation, because he has a hero and a supervillain both trying to compete for being the best stepdad.

All for One doesn’t want to lose to All Might on this. The petty competition is using his entire focus.

All Might managed to get a job at Izuku’s school? That means more Izuku time! How dare he? All for One tries to convince Izuku to drop out and accept private tutors (who can homeschool him from the comfort of a bank vault). Izuku shoots that down quick.

So there’s only one logical solution: All for One has to get a job at his son’s school.

Nedzu absolutely recognizes the Symbol of Evil. After putting a super-binding contract (All for One cannot harm or steal quirks from staff, students, or their immediate families while working at UA without explicit consent). All for One is bound by the power of a reality altering quirk that forces people to comply with contacts.

Part of the deal includes the fact that All Might had to sign the same contact. All Might isn’t allowed to kill students, the horror.

Aizawa does the whole logical ruse thing, and All for One feels his murder instincts flare up. Unfortunately he’s bound by a contract. He could use his contacts to kill off the man, but that would ruin the joy of murdering the teacher himself. So instead, All for One uses facts and logic to point out the various flaws with Eraserhead’s teaching strategy.

Izuku didn’t want his step dads embarrassing him at school, and doesn’t want his new friends to know about family drama. He talks with All Might about keeping their relationship teacher-student while at school. All Might agrees. He talks to all for one about the same thing. All for One disagrees at first, only for Izuku to say “well All Might can do it, but I guess you’re not good enough”. So neither of Izuku’s step dads are revealing their connections.

All for One uses the hero name Demon King. Nedzu allows it. All for One shows up in his cosplay to work.

All for One accompanies the teachers on the USJ trip, very much bragging about how All Might is missing it. Then Tomura shows up. Oops.

All for One uses a telepathy quirk to tell Tomura to retreat or face the consequences. Tomura realizes that All for One is in disguise, and tries to help by sending Nomu after All for One. He then flees with Kurogiri.

All for One has to beat up his own Nomu, along with many sub par villains. He protects the students and Eraserhead well. He even does it without murder, because that would traumatize his stepson and lose him dad points. (Also, Izuku pointed out that All Might could probably take all the villains down without murder. When All for One called his bluff, Izuku used statistics to back it up.)

All for One tells Tomura to back off afterwards, and that some things are in play that have to be completed. Tomura realizes that All for One has become lame, and is trying to use him as a pawn in a really stupid scheme, one that doesn’t actually do anything in the long run.

Tomura realizes he’ll need to team up with a different villain. So he teams up with Overhaul, a guy that also hates heroes and society and wants to destroy things.

Todoroki realizes that his teacher, the Demon King, used multiple quirks. He has theories as to whose dad he could be, and approaches All for One with these theories.

All for One is compelled by the evidence and looks into his family tree. Because he’s had affairs with so many relatives of heroes, and then abandoned them when he got bored, All for One is actually the relative of lots of people. He’s Shouto’s great grandfather, Monoma’s father, Yaoyorozu’s grandfather, Aizawa’s grandfather, one of the Waterhose duo’s step dads, and shares DNA with Nedzu for some reason. All for One is the ultimate deadbeat dad in this au. The only person he shares no dna connection with is Izuku Midoriya.

Izuku is suffering once he hears this. Go after your actual kids, all for one! Why do you need to flirt with Inko?

All for One tries to step into his relatives lives, because of course he does. Aizawa is randomly coddled by his coworker? He hates this.

All for One and All Might commentate the sports festival for the first years. All for One very much plays favorites. Izuku is no longer alone in his suffering.

Todoroki asks if Izuku is the son of All for One and All Might. Izuku sobs. Todoroki specifies that he wants to be Izuku’s brother-ish? Izuku accepts Todoroki as a sibling, but denies All for One as an adopted dad.

Izuku avoids breaking bones in this au, since All for One would use a healing quirk on him. Specifically, the one that heals through prolonged skin contact (cuddles). All for One loves having excuses to cuddle his son for extended periods of time.

Stain targets ingenium. Iida is now murderously raged. All for One offers murder tips. He’s such a good teacher. Would all might do that?

All for One wants to take his kids for internships. Nedzu points out he’s not a hero. All for One decides to take the heroics exam, purely to take his kids on internships.

Izuku goes with Nighteye for internships. It’s all part of his plan to prank all for one. Specifically, he starts calling Nighteye ‘dad’ just to mess with the villain. All for One is furious.

Meanwhile Overhaul and Tomura have been working on killing All for One. They have the perfect weapon.

All for One gets attacked by a Nomu with a machine gun. The quirk erasing bullets manage to get rid of quite a few of All for One’s quirks. All for one is saved by none other than All Might.

Izuku helps Nighteye track down the attackers, but they’ve already fled. Izuku learned to use One for All quite a bit better. Nighteye doesnt want the quirk to go to Mirio, since it comes with a supervillain trying to become your dad apparently.

The final exams. Izuku and Shinso go against All for One. All for One loses when he hears Izuku call him ‘dad’. It was just Shinso mimicking Izuku’s voice. All for one will never live this down.

Tomura realizes that All for One has a weird fixation on Izuku Midoriya. So he kidnaps Izuku on a trip to the mall.

Izuku is in the clutches of Overhaul and Tomura. After some experimentation, it’s discovered that Izuku’s blood combined with Eri’s can create something that erases quirks forever. Not only that, they can release it as a gas. There’s this organization called Humarise that is incredibly interested.

Izuku’s friends and dad-adjacent figures are all trying to figure out where he went. Hopefully they can find him before it’s too late.

AU where instead of going through the usual "killing you and all your family" road when it comes to previous OFA holders, AFO slept with every member of Nana's family.

#bnha drabble #it’s like the summary of a whole fic #I wrote this in like 2 hours #not sure how to end it though #this is an au alright #feel free to write it yourself if you like