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@mindhallow wish & nita for real for real

pigeon pov:

#my art. #hc. #she accidentally Blasted this pigeon im sure #the second one is a late addition but it's making me WHEEZE

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nita & who

#ooc. #NITA & WHO??? #taking care of the pigeon of course

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still not QUITE there with consistency but i am getting closer,,,

#my art. #i've just been practicing trying to draw her features consistently #which is a struggle w me for new characters #the first one is probably the closest #i'm just breaking down & figuring out the shapes of things #what's really throwing me off i think is her silouette #w her hair being up i have to figure out the shapes it'll take to keep it looking similar through diff art #visage. #hc. #just thinking

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finished this up tonight during session <3

#my art. #also reblogging this before i go #i think i wanna redo it w a style ive been playing with #i just love this tbh

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i am hoping to be around tonight after work & tomorrow before dnd! i'm gonna try to catch up w messages & replies if anyone wants to talk / plot! mutuals only, or i'll destroy you <3

#ooc. #tbd. #i wont be around until abt 10pm est #unless i give into my Evil tonight and leave work early

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i think it's a running gag w amanita to be snacking at wildly inappropriate times

#ooc. #hc. #tav talking to the goblin priestess?? munch munch munch #kar'niss begging for mercy if u take his lantern?? munch munch munch #the gnome w the ultra smokepowder threatening to blow them all up?? munch munch mun- #she's got a little sack full of forages snacks i think #mostly nuts & berries #she's so mad in the shadow cursed lands because she can't find her favs #she rations what she has #don't ask ehr to share she will bite u

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i wanted to make a final reference of nita's outfit at the beginning of the game. i've got plenty of thoughts on costume changes & camp outfits but this is her main armor!

#my art. #hc. #just looking at this today for seratonins

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tulip :   how does your muse view people in general ?  

this is a fun question to think about. amanita doesn't think much of people - their lives are in the blink of an eye in the universe & so there's not much energy that she can waste on them that she thinks will matter. if she saw someone she didn't know drowning, she'd probably let them. in her mind it's the natural order of things; people are crueler & more capable of perpetuating death than anything else. it makes sense that they should rot & be recycled into something new.

it leaves her with a disconnect with the people around her. she feels like she is outside of this perspective if that makes sense? she is a keeper in the garden of life & death. she's done her evil & she is being reused to make something new. it's really difficult for her to navigate - she's good-intentioned, but it's in theory. it's a habit she's still getting the hang of. so she's definitely a hypocrite in that way if that makes sense?

no life matters, but what she's doing does. learning a new way that will spread the spores of new life when she's still figuring out what that new life is if that makes sense?

so i guess the direct way to put this is: she doesn't value anyone's life, she values what comes after it. what comes next. what seeds they sew for the future that she gets to see. this leaves her with a strong sense of disconnect from the people around her, especially knowing that she is at the beginning of what will probably be a very long life. she will let someone die, bury them & visit their grave in a century.

it's really difficult for her when she does begin caring for others & their place in her life. it's really hard to digest & it does leave her really confused. she can't always manage those feelings really well because she wants to hold on for as long as she can. she doesn't really know grief from an external place - she's grieved herself & her life & that hurt like hell. ( in grieving that life she grieved the people, but the way they mattered was different. love before being exiled was never quite as raw as love after )

but she could rebuild herself. she doesn't know how grieving someone else's loss is going to feel & it fills her with such fear. but fear manifests in a lot of ways - she throws up walls, tries to maintain distance while craving closeness.

so she tries to maintain that distance she keeps herself safe with, because being disconnected means she can't really miss anything when it's gone. she knows it will be. it's why she has a home, separate from her grove where she likes to spend her time. she wants connection, she craves connection, but hasn't quite learned how to maintain that. she's working on it but it's a grueling process & not something that is particularly easy to her.

so i think it's really hard for her to feel close to people because she's looking at what comes next rather than what is. when she becomes any sort of fond of someone it's terrifying & she tries to deny it but also tries to hold on too tight. it of course depends on the context in a lot of ways too but this is just in general.

#cupcaketrickster #answered. #hc. #thank you for sending these i have been thinking really hard on them honestly #it is so good for my brain it stretches it's legs #there is so much more to this that i cn't quite articulate but i will be coming back to eventually

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going to an oddities expo today 👁️👄👁️

#ooc. #tbd. #im gonna shake the jars around / j #i am hooing to be around later #but ive got Priorities today

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can i talk to you in the woods about something

#musings.

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↪   𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑴𝑼𝑺𝑰𝑪 𝑶𝑭 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑵𝑰𝑮𝑯𝑻 .   (  a  collection  of  starters  originating  from  the  broadway  show  the phantom of the opera .  adjust  phrasing  as  necessary .  )

think  of  me  fondly .

if  you  ever  find  a  moment ,  spare  a  thought  for  me .

show  a  little  courtesy !

for  god’s  sake  what’s  going  on  up  there ?

there’s  no  one  there ,  and  if  there  is  well  then  it  must  be  a  ghost !

lord  heavens ,  i  have  never  known  such  insolence !

these  things  do  happen .

you’ve  been  here  five  minutes ,  what  do  you  know ?

these  things  do  happen !  all  the  time !

you  …  you’re  as  bad  as  him !

oh  god  in  heaven ,  you’re  all  obsessed .

…  but  perhaps  you  could  afford  more ?

you  can  do  this !

remember  me  every  so  often ,  promise  me  you’ll  try .

[ name ] ,  this  is  doing  nothing  for  my  nerves .

it  was  always  clear  that  this  was  never  meant  to  be .

think  of  august  when  the  world  was  green .

don’t  think  about  the  way  things  might  have  been .

imagine  me  trying  too  hard  to  put  you  from  my  mind .

there  will  never  be  a  day  when  i  won’t  think  of  you .

she  may  not  remember  me ,  but  i  remember  her .

you  must  change ,  and  i  must  get  my  hat .

things  have  changed ,  [ name ] .

stay  by  my  side ,  guide  me .

my  soul  was  weak ,  forgive  me .

look  at  your  face  in  the  mirror ,  i  am  there  inside .

come  to  me ,  strange  angel .

my  power  over  you  grows  stronger ,  yet .

though  you  turn  from  me ,  to  glance  behind  …

those  who  have  seen  your  face  draw  back  in  fear .

i  have  needed  you  with  me .

i  remember  there  was  mist  …

who  was  the  shape  in  the  shadows ?

damn  you ,  you  little  prying  pandora !

is  this  what  you  wanted  to  see ?

now  you  cannot  ever  be  free !

damn  you !  curse  you !

can  you  even  dare  to  look  or  bear  to  think  of  me ?

but  [ name ] ,  fear  can  turn  to  love .  you’ll  learn  to  see .

come ,  we  must  return .

you  must  be  always  on  your  guard .

[ name ] ,  hold  your  tongue .

the  world  wants  you !

your  devotees  are  on  their  knees  to  implore  you !

can  you  bow  out  when  they’re  shouting  your  name ?

think  of  how  they  all  adore  you !

can  you  deny  us  the  triumph  in  store ?

heaven  help  you ,  those  who  doubt .

this  is  a  game  you  cannot  hope  to  begin !

so ,  it  is  to  be  war  between  us ?

do  you  really  think  that’s  wise ?

if  he  knew  the  truth ,  he’d  never ,  ever  go !

why  have  you  brought  us  here ?

don’t  bring  me  back  there .

don’t  even  think  it !

[ name ] ,  i’ve  been  there .

what  you  heard  was  a  dream  and  nothing  more .

those  pleading  eyes ,  that  both  threaten  and  adore .

no  more  talk  of  darkness .

i’m  here ,  nothing  will  harm  you .

let  me  be  your  freedom .

i’m  here ,  with  you ,  beside  you .

say  you’ll  love  me  every  waking  moment .

say  you  need  me  with  you  now  and  always .

promise  me  that  all  you  say  is  true ,  that’s  all  i  ask  of  you .

all  i  want  is  freedom ,  and  you  always  beside  me .

say  you’ll  share  with  me ,  one  love ,  one  lifetime .

anywhere  you  go ,  let  me  go  too .

[ name ] ,  that’s  all  i  ask  of  you .

say  the  word  and  i  will  follow  you .

say  you  love  me -  - you know i do .

love  me ,  that’s  all  i  ask  of  you .

i  must  go ,  they’ll  wonder  where  i  am .

[ name ] ,  i  love  you .

you  will  curse  the  day  you  did  not  do  all  that  i  asked  of  you !

you  can  fool  any  friend  who  ever  knew  you !

what  a  night ,  what  a  crowd !

think  of  it  …  a  secret  engagement .

why  is  it  secret ?  what  have  we  to  hide ?

it’s  an  engagement ,  not  a  crime !

[ name ] ,  what  are  you  afraid  of ?

let’s  not  argue .

you  will  understand  in  time .

why  so  silent ?

did  you  think  that  i  had  left  you  for  good ?

have  you  missed  me ?

there  are  worse  things  than  a  shattered  chandelier .

don’t  ask  me ,  i  know  no  more  than  anyone  else !

you  were  once  my  companion .

you  were  all  that  mattered  …

sometimes  it  seemed  if  i  just  dreamed ,  somehow  you  would  be  here .

why  can’t  the  past  just  die ?! 

teach  me  to  live  …  give  me  the  strength  to  try .

no  more  memories  …  no  more  silent  tears .

no  more  gazing  across  the  wasted  years .

help  me  say  goodbye .

who  is  it  there ,  staring ?

have  you  forgotten  your  angel ?

do  not  shun  me .

[ name !  name ! ]  listen  to  me !

such  spirited  words !

let’s  see  how  far  you  dare  go !

[ name ] ,  are  you  confident  this  will  work ?

are  the  doors  secure ?

i  hate  to  have  to  cut  the  fun  short ,  but  the  joke’s  wearing  thin .

the  trap  is  set  and  it  waits  for  it’s  prey .

you  have  come  here  in  pursuit  of  your  deepest  urge .

our  games  of  make - believe  are  at  an  end .

abandon  thought  and  let  the  dream  descend .

 past  the  point  of  no  return ,  the  final  threshold .

what  warm   unspoken  secrets  will  we  learn ?

you  have  brought  me  to  that  moment  where  words  run  dry .

i  have  come  here ,  hardly  knowing  the  reason  why .

in  my  mind  i’ve  already  imagined  our  bodies  entwining  …  defenseless  and  silent .

now  i  am  here  with  you ,  no  second  thoughts .

when  will  the  blood  begin  to  race ?

the  bridge  is  crossed ,  so  stand  and  watch  it  burn .

lead  me ,  save  me  from  my  solitude .

say  you  want  me  with  you  here  beside  you .

no ,  don’t  shoot !

no ,  [ name ] ,  no !  you  stay  here !

no  kind  word  from  words  from  anyone ,  no  compassion  anywhere .

[ name !  name , ]  why ?  why ?!

have  you  gorged  yourself  at  last  in  your  lust  for  blood ?

pity  comes  too  late ,  turn  around  and  face  your  fate .

this  haunted  face  holds  no  horror  for  me ,  now .

it’s  in  your  soul  that  the  true  distortion  lies .

wait ,  i  think  my  dear ,  we  have  a  guest !

this  is  indeed  an  unparalleled  delight !  i  had  rather  hoped  that  you  would  come .

have  you  no  pity ?

your  lover  makes  a  passionate  plea .

i  love  her !  does  that  mean  nothing ?

show  some  compassion !

the  world  showed  no  compassion  to  me !

did  you  think  that  i  would  harm  her ?

why  should  i  make  her  pay  for  the  sins  that  are  yours ?

start  a  new  life  with  me .

this  is  the  choice .  this  is  the  point  of  no  return .

the  tears  i  might  have  shed  for  your  dark  fate  …  grow  cold  and  turn  to  tears  of  hate .

[ name ] ,  forgive  me  -  please ,  forgive  me !

i  did  it  all  for  you !

say  you  love  him .

either  way  you  choose ,  he  has  to  win .

i  fought  so  hard  to  free  you .

you  deceived  me !  i  gave  my  mind  blindly .

you  try  my  patience .  make  your  choice .

what  kind  of  life  have  you  known ?

god ,  give  me  courage  to  show  you ,  you  are  not  alone .

forget  me ,  forget  all  of  this .

go ,  now !  don’t  let  them  find  you !

swear  to  me ,  never  to  tell !

go ,  now !  go  now  and  leave  me !

#meme. #👁️👁️

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imagine, you're trying to rizz nita up. you put your arm around nita. she dislocates your arm.

#ooc. #she'll put it back dw half her magic is healing oriented #wishlist.

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nita playing w benji like those tiktoks of the man playing with the coyote

#ooc. #tbd.

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[ FIND ] for the taller muse to lift the shorter one by the waist so they can reach something. (From Cietan - 5'10") || @championsofthegate

amanita scarcely has time to think before her feet lift from the ground. she'd been reaching for some fungus, growing right out of her reach. even on the tips of her toes, she was nowhere near her goal. truthfully, she could feel the tension of frustration growing between her ears. she was not quite ready to give up, but she had been about ten seconds from throwing her fist at the tree she was trying to overcome.

it hadn't occurred to her to ask for help. in fact, the thought of doing so was nothing short of humiliating. thankfully, cietan took things into his own hands. ( he was taller than her, a little over half a foot. it was amazing what the extra height could do for her. she only wishes she could steal it from him & grow a couple of inches. )

at first, she feels the delightful relief of success. her impending anger was making the small task seem impossible & she is nothing short of ecstatic when she snatches the growth off of the bark. she shoves her bounty in the pouch at her waist before she's back on the ground. she then turns her fury on cietan when she's back on the ground long enough to realize he had lifted her toward her goal. ( she refused to owe him, she thinks stubbornly. ) she spins on her heel, silver brows knitting on her forehead. she extends a dirt-covered finger & jabs him in the chest.

" i was going to do it myself. " she spews her words like venom. perhaps she is letting off some steam from her previous frustration. perhaps it is unfair. he had helped her, after all. she wrinkles her nose, eyes ablaze.

" i could have. " she lies, trying her very hardest not to be thankful. she liked being up that high & half wishes he would pick her up again. the other half of her is sure she would bite him if he tried.

#championsofthegate #championsofthegate: cietan #v. tba #wheezing #she is SO MAD #but also she kind of liked it #but that is part of why she's so mad #she can't be that tall without his help <3

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marigold :   is your muse prone to jealousy ?  how might they handle envious feelings ?  

if you ask amanita if she is a jealous person, she will say no! she will not know that she's lying. she operates with the sentiment that she has nothing to be jealous of, that there is nothing the people around her can provide that she does not. which fills her with a sense of importance, that leaves her feeling some sort of entitled to their time & attention. it's not something she would recognize on her own, she'd need someone to point it out for her in order to acknowledge it at all & it would be a grueling process for anyone involved.

i think part of this comes from her growing up in an environment where total devotion is the norm. people around her devoted themselves to a cause, a person, to lolth & it leads her to have this very high expectation surrounding how she should treat people & how she should treat others.

it can be overbearing when she becomes attached to someone if they don't know how to set boundaries & she will lash out if she feels like she's not getting that same level of attention she feels like she needs to give.

she's intensely uncomfortable with the idea of others seeing her in her truth so when she starts feeling bits of it seep through her, she starts to sort of feel that way. when there is someone she cares for, she feels like she has to protect them & protect herself at the same time, which leads her to walking a tightrope without having very good balance.

she falls constantly & has to pick herself up about it. she feels uncomfortable taking any offers for help, any extended hands for support. but when she takes that hand, she is not gonna let go if that makes sense? but she feels like that is normal & so she doesn't think it's a problem.

i think it's worth noting, also, that amanita likes her space until she needs to be in yours. like a cat. she wants that devotion & attention, but only when she wants it. so there is like this duality of her needing to hold on so tight the people she cares about cannot breathe & needing about 5ft in any direction for her to be able to catch a breath.

there's a lot of hypocrisy in her jealousy & it makes her very unpalatable to a lot of people, she can be a very difficult pill to swallow. but if you ask her, she thinks she's an absolute delight!

so long explanation short: she gets very jealous, she would never admit to being jealous & it can be suffocating. it's something she wont recognize on her own, but would work on with a firm hand to guide her. it can be explosive & without that prompting to engage in bettering herself / truth pointed out by anyone else, it can & will get so much worse! she deals with it on her own with denial but her eyes can be pried open pretty easily.

#comment cards ( answered. ) #delightfalse #hc. #thank you for sending this i have had it in my head like a rotissere chicken for a while now

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this train of thought started w astarion but stands for any other vampire characters in camp. nita will frequently try to kill any vampire in camp! it would take her a long, long moment to warm up to anything that can kill her with a Long Fucking Sip. i think given the right dynamic she might, eventually, let a vampire drink from her but she would keep a blade to their chest the whole time so if they don't pull back she can Fucking Destroy Them

#ooc. #hc. #also there is something so cool to me abt a vampire getting a long drink w a blade at their chest #just the understanding tht both parties Just Might Kill each other but think that maybe They Wont Have To

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You got games on your phone

Let’s play “yes” or “no.” You ask me questions on anonymous or not, and I can only answer YES or NO.

" no. " she's lying, poorly. in fact, she's playing homescapes on her phone right now!

#comment cards ( answered. ) #Anonymous #v. modern