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Who would you like to have an NSFW Alphabet next, I have four going at the moment and can’t pick which to focus on.
Phil Allen
Hans Gruber
Judge Turpin
Ed the painter
Please leave your answers in the comments.
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Finally watching “Blow Dry” and Alan’s Yorkshire accent is so cute!
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NSFW Alphabet - David Friedman
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Time for our favourite scruffy southern detective ;)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He likes to cuddle. Leant up a bit against the headboard with you snuggled up against his side with your head on his chest and his arms around you.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He wouldn't say he particularly likes any part of his body. Only time he really considers his own body is when he notices how much various places ache from his job taking its toll. On you, it's your legs. It was the one of the first things he noticed about you and your legs have been a turn on for him ever since.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Prefers inside you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
This one's a dirty secret you share. No one can ever find out you and David once had sex in an interrogation room at the precinct.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He's had a few partners, and he was married. He's experienced enough to know what he likes and how to please you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Chair sex, with you straddling his lap. That way he can touch as much of you as he wants and have you nice and close.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's not overtly goofy or anything. He has a dry humour that surface at times, especially if you two are getting a bit creative and hurried.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Shaving his face and combing his hair is about as much as he fusses with personal grooming, never mind anything else.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He’s a rough edges with a soft centre kind of guy. He may not be romantic with words but in his actions, things like the way he looks at you, how he strokes your hair and brushes his fingers down the side of your face. Moments like that feel very intimate and romantic.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
You can't always be together, but you're good at phone sex. You love listening to the sound of him pleasuring himself.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
He likes handcuffing you to the bed. Sometimes he'll let you put the cuffs on him. Like the time you cuffed him to a chair so he couldn't touch you while you gave him a lap dance. Satin and lace. The world he spends most of his time in is hard, bitter and ugly and he likes when he can distance himself from it. Part of that is he likes seeing his lover wrapped up in something soft, silky and pretty like lace lingerie or a satin nightgown.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Pretty much anywhere at home. And the back seat of his car.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
When you wear tight pencil skirts and heels. He loves the way it makes your ass and legs look.
When you pull him in by his tie to kiss him.
Sass. Whether it’s aimed at him or someone else, he loves when you bust out the sassiness.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
No knife or gun play.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He prefers to receive, but he will go down on you if you want him too. Not that he doesn't like it, he just thinks he's more skilled with his hands.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Kind of in the middle. He likes to take his time before he goes hard.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Sometimes you have to take advantage of time and/or place. A favourite is before work or if you can both get away during a lunch break or something.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's pretty happy with how things are, but if something gets him or you curious, he's usually willing to try it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Twice. He lasts a decent amount of time, and he's thorough on the foreplay.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Nothing that he'd gotten himself. But he did find the vibrator you had from before you got together and asked you to use it while he watched.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He'd say he's not trying to tease, he's just enjoying himself. But the effect on you is the same.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Mid-range. Grunts and gasps.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
David’s job has him seeing the worst sides of humanity almost every day. He’s built up a hard shell, but it does still get to him, it hurts him, makes him angry and scared. He’s trying not to drown his feelings in a bottle so much. Instead he’ll bury himself inside you. Holding you tight, skin to skin, breath in your scent, brings him a feeling of peace and safety like nothing else.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Average length but thick.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Pretty high. A combination of love for you, personal tension and wanting to make up for the times he's not there, you have a lot of sex.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He’s got a bit of insomnia, so it usually takes him a while to fall asleep. Having you tucked up against him helps and listening to you breath and feeling your heartbeat helps lull him enough to sleep.
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What can happen when you've had a long, annoying day and now you're reading the textbook for Lit class? You start wondering what the love lives of Shakespeare couples are like.
Start off with the classic,
Romeo and Juliet; Fumbling teenagers. Absolutely no idea what they're doing, but they're happy to be together.
Henry V and Katherine; So sweet and gentle. He's a giver. His first priority is her pleasure.
Petruchio and Kate; Terrible. That self-centred bastard is only chasing his own climax. He probably tells Kate that orgasms are bad for women or something and he's protecting her. (Only valid version of Petruchio is Patrick Verona in 10 Things)
Hermia and Lysander; Vanilla but romantic. A lot of cuddling and making out. The couple that scatters rose petals around and puts on some romantic music first.
Helena and Demetrius; Kinky AF. You name it, they've done it. Bordering on toxic.
Benedick and Beatrice; Energetic. It's like a contest on who can wear the other out first. Still very romantic though, because as much as they're trying to one up each other, they're besotted with each other.
Anyone else have some ideas to add to this? Share or comment your additions.
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EMMA THOMPSON as Beatrice MUCH ADO ABOUT NOTHING (1993, dir. Kenneth Branagh)
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🥵🤯🔥😍
more pics of cate blanchett in borderlands
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Alan Rickman as Dimitri / Voice of RADA in “Girls on Top”.
Girls on Top is a British ITV sitcom, broadcast in 1985 and 1986, and made by Witzend for the ITV contractor Central Independent Television. It stars Dawn French, Jennifer Saunders, Ruby Wax and Tracey Ullman, and was written by French, Saunders, and Wax with additional material from Ullman.
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Return of the ex
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Sinclair Bryant x reader
After a year, Natalie shows up again and Reader is not having it. (Takes place in the same timeline of “Coal and Cards” and “Blankets and Snuggles”)
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The hazy warmth of late summer had firmly settled in, and you and Sinclair were enjoying a lazy Saturday afternoon, cuddled up on the day bed in the sunroom. Your head was pillowed against his chest as Sinclair read out loud from his book. The cozy feeling of his arm around your shoulders and the way his voice rumbled through his chest had you hovering in a sleepy haze. The peace of the moment was broken by the sound of the doorbell. Sinclair saved his place in the book, "I'll get it, Love." he said, as he untangled himself to get up. You stretched out comfortably as you heard his footsteps reach the door to open it, but you were snapped out of you half asleep state instantly when you heard him say the name neither of you hoped to hear again.
You got up and headed to the front door. When you reached the hall, you saw Sinclair standing in the doorway, one hand holding the door, his shoulders tense, and a blonde woman standing in front of him. "Won't you please talk to me?" She said in an annoying pleading tone. Sinclair's voice was uncharacteristically flat, "We have nothing to talk about. Why are you even here?" "I made a mistake, I know it, but we can still work things out." "Natalie, I told you it was over a year ago. There is nothing to work out, I don't feel anything for you anymore. We're done." "You can't just throw away the years we had like they were nothing."
Having heard more than enough, you stepped up behind him and wrapped an arm around his waist. You felt his tension start to relax at your touch and you leant closer against him. "Honey, who's this?" You asked innocently, even though your eyes narrowed at the woman in front of you. Sinclair sighed slightly, "This is my ex-wife. And she was just leaving." Before she could say another word, Sinclair closed and locked the door before turning and walking away. You stayed near the door for a few moments, watching through the frosted glass to make sure she'd left before going to look for Sinclair. You found him in the living room, his hands braced on the back of the couch, leaning heavily against it. You went to hug him, resting your head against his back and rubbing your hand gently across his chest, "Hey. It's okay, she'd gone." You spoke gently. You felt him take a deep breath and start to relax against your touch. You pressed a kiss firmly against his shoulder before saying, "It's getting late in the day. Will you help me get dinner started?" "Yeah." He answered, his voice lacking its usual mellow strength, "Of course, love." He stood and turned in your arms, giving you a tight, reassuring hug before stepping back, taking your hand and heading to the kitchen with you.
A few days passed and you and Sinclair had put the incident of the creepy ex out of your minds. You should have known it wouldn't be that easy though. It was a Wednesday evening. Sinclair had gotten home from work and had headed upstairs for a shower and not long after the front doorbell rang. It was Natalie again. She looked surprised to see you and you were internally glad you managed to unsettle her. "I...I want to talk to Sinclair." Your frown deepened, "He's made it clear that he has nothing to say to you. You have no place here." "I'm his wife!" She yelped indignantly and you felt your blood boil. "Ex-wife." You practically growled, "And honestly, you lost all right to call yourself Sinclair's wife when you started shagging your brother." You had a lot of pent-up rage at this woman who had broken Sinclair's heart and now was your chance to release some of it, "What are you doing here anyway? Hoping he'll welcome you back with open arms, all is forgiven?" The look in her eyes let you know that's exactly what she was hoping for. "As I said before," you said flatly now, "He wants nothing to do with you. Now get away from our house." Her eyes flashed at your wording, and she seemed to finally put two and two together, "You're living together?" She asked, incredulously. You smirked, "Not that it's any of your business, but yes we are. We've been together since Christmas." Natalie's mouth opened and closed a few times like a fish before she stammered out, "How could he!...he just...he just moved on so soon...like what we had was nothing..?!" "Oh shut up!" You snapped, now fully sick of her. "You pathetic, creepy, deceitful bitch! You broke his trust, you broke his heart, and now you have the absolute gall to act outraged that he doesn't want anything to do with you and that he found someone who actually loves and cares about him!" Natalie actually took a stap back away from you. "Right now, the only reason I'm not tearing your hair out is because I'd rather not go to jail for assault." You snapped, "But if you don't clear out and stay out, I'm gonna drag you to the river and reinvent the ducking chair." Finally getting the hint, Natalie turned and hurried down the path to the gate. "Good riddance." You muttered under your breath before slamming and locking the door. You turned and froze as you saw Sinclair standing at the foot of the stairs" "Hi Love," you said, "Um, how much of that did you see?" "A fair chunk of it." He answered, looking at you with adoring soft eyes, "You're quite fierce when you're angry." You huffed a little, walking towards him, "She deserved it. God she's awful." As you reached him, you snuggled against his chest, "You deserve so much better." Sinclair looped his arms around your waist and rested his cheek on your top of your head, “I have the best right here.”
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Happy Heavenly Birthday to this beautiful man.
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NSFW Alphabet - Severus Snape
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Time for our favourite potions master. (I think we all love Dom Severus, but I went with a bit of a different approach here, more like what I think he'd actually be like) Enjoy! ;)
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
You're usually the one taking care of him afterwards. But he likes to hold you tight and kiss lazily as you both come down off your high.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
He doesn't particularly like anything about himself, but if he had to choose, he'd say his hands. On you, it's your breasts. He loves how they feel, the softness, how you respond when he touches them. If you wear a fitted or low-cut shirt, he can be very easily distracted.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Inside you.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He accidentally saw a fantasy in your mind once. You were daydreaming about him being dominant with you, pulling you into the potions storeroom and having you against the wall. He does find the thought of being dominant with you a turn on, but he's not confident enough yet to suggest it. One day.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He was a virgin before you. He knew the basics in theory, but in practice he's learning as he goes with you.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
You on top. His inexperience is mixed with insecurity and having you on top with plenty of physical contact and eye contact helps him feel more secure.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's not a goofy person just in general, and with this even less. Sex is still a very intense experience for him.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
It's not something he'd ever concerned himself with. But since he's been with you, he's starting to indulge in more self-care.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Sex with Severus is very intimate. It took a lot of trust and love to get to this point and that really shows with how you make love.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Before you came into his life, he would every now and then just to take the edge off his stress. But now he thinks it an even more lonely thing to do. He'd much rather just wait until he can be with you.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Praise kink. Outside of the bedroom, he’ll deny it entirely. But with you, when you tell him just how good he’s making you feel and how much you love him, he’s completely weak for it. He’s been denied words of love and encouragement for too long and from you he soaks up those words like a dry plant soaks up water.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
In bed. After he got more comfortable, sometimes in the bath or shower. You might start making out on the couch or something, but he'll want to move to the bed before you go all the way.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
When you stand up for him. Sirius Black made the mistake of insulting Severus in front of you, and you cast a spell at Black to turn him green with purple spots and told him if he can't control his flapping mouth, you'd spell a muzzle on him. Sev started undoing the laces of your dress the moment you got home. When you brush his hair back and kiss this particular spot behind his ear on the side of his neck, he turns to putty in your hands.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
No public sex. And no student/teacher roll play, he just can't.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He loves receiving, and he's found he enjoys giving too. Having you sit on his face is something he particularly enjoys.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and gentle.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Not something he's really into. A quick make out session, maybe. But you both prefer to actually take your time.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Given his inexperience, pretty much everything is an experiment to him. He's actually pretty vanilla and happy with that. What he has with you now is more than he ever though he'd have. But if you suggest something, he's usually willing to try it.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Once is usually it. Physically he could go more, but emotionally it can get overwhelming.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Not toys per se, but when feeling adventurous, you have experimented with a few spells and magic concoctions.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
As he gets more comfortable with sex and intimacy, he’s become more of a tease and enjoys finding ways to get you worked up.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He's pretty quiet. Gasps and moans and hard breathing.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Severus has issues about nudity, and it takes him a while to be comfortable with being fully naked around you. You worked on this bit by bit; foreplay while both fully clothed, letting him become familiar with your body first. The first time you had sex you were both still dressed. You always made sure he was comfortable and didn't push him for more than he could handle.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He's big. Eight inches and nicely thick. (The bulge in his trousers does not lie. You know which scene I mean)
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Not high before, but the more your relationship progresses, the more his sex drive has started to increase.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Sometimes he'll doze off fairly quickly, other times you may both be awake for half an hour or so cuddling and talking.
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This! This is the top tier look! The gold in his hair, the greying beard, the red hoodie.
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AR
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NSFW Alphabet - Lionel Shabandar
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Alright, buckle up. This is the dirtiest one yet. Time for some fun with Lionel "Sexy bastard" Shabandar.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Although he has a cold reputation, with you he’s actually very affectionate and caring. Your play can get quite kinky and he's very attentive to your aftercare. He'll run you a bath, make sure you eat and drink something, hold you as you fall asleep to make sure you feel safe and secure.
B = Body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
For him, he likes his legs. Years of horseback riding have given him quite strong, solid legs, which he's happy about. On you, he really likes your back and shoulders. The way you stand, the confident way you hold your shoulders and the line and curve of your spine really does something for him.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
He's more the cum inside you kind, but he'll also come on your breasts or back if he's feeling particularly possessive.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He fantasises about having you on the desk in his office.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Handsome, successful, confident man like him? He's had plenty of experience.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Doggie style. And he likes being able to hold onto your hips and pull your hair a bit.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Foreplay can be playful, but when you get to actual sex he's much more intense.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
He takes care of his personal grooming but isn't overly fussed.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
He's not overly romantic in the mushy sense, but he has a way about him that makes you feel adored and special.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
When you can't be with him, and he needs to take the edge off.
K = Kink
He's very much a dom. He loves taking control, edging or overstimulating you till you’re a wrung out mess. Some light pet play. You surprised him once by wearing cats ears and a cat tail plug and he basically devoured you.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
In bed, where he can really take his time. He also has a thing for taking you against the wall or on the floor of his private gallery. Also the back of his car.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Your confidence. Like when you go with him to an event, dressed so beautifully and standing proudly beside him, his lioness. He could watch you work the room all evening and then pull you into his arms the moment you get into the car.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He won't do anything that would permanently mark your skin. He's not about to damage his favourite artwork. Also, he's a good dom, so he won't cross your limits or make you uncomfortable. You have safe words, and he would never do anything to hurt or upset you or harm your trust.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He loves giving and receiving. Back to those dom tendencies. Having you on your knees between his thighs with his hand tangled in your hair. Likewise, eating you out is a perfect way to keep you on edge and make you beg.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
It's a mix. A quickie will be rough and fast, but most times he'll start off slow until you're good and needy and begging to cum.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
You both have your careers to attend to, sometimes you have to make the most of the time you have.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
He's confident and experienced, so he knows what he likes. But he's willing to experiment if it's something you're interested in too.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He can go a couple of rounds a night. He usually likes to draw out the pleasure for both of you and it leaves you both tired and satiated.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He's got a far selection of toys and items. His favourites being a set of padded wrist and ankle cuffs, and a remote-control vibrator so he can tease you from a distance.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves to tease and drive you crazy. One time, before going to a gala with him, he slid that vibrator inside you and kept the remote in his pocket, so he could keep you on edge all night. You held yourself together until you got home and begged him to let you come.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
Pretty vocal. Moans, grunts, growls and curses.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
For all his life is rich and extravagant, with you he finds even the simplest things attractive and appealing. Like the first time he spent the night at your place and in the morning, he saw you making coffee, wearing just your panties and his button up shirt. And he thought you were the most gorgeous, enticing being he'd ever seen, and you ended up making out on the kitchen counter.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
His BDE is there for a reason. He's hung like a horse.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
High. He wants you as often as he can have you.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
He's awake for a while afterwards. He's got to take care of you first and make sure you're cared for properly. And after you've fallen asleep in his arms, he'll listen to your breathing and the feel of your heartbeat. It helps his mind clear before he starts to fall asleep himself.
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Listening to this song and I feel like my ears just had a three way.
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every turpin moment ever (39/57)
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