everything i didnât say â hongjoong
- pairing: fem!reader x hongjoong
- rating / genre: G / fluff, angst, friends to lovers
- word count: 2.8k
- warnings: bad writing đ€Ą, eating scenes throughout, slight emotional constipation from everyone, mention of anxiety throughout, mentions feeling abandoned, heartbreak and then everything works out lol, kissing
- note: this moves kinda fast since it is a one shot for a specific person lol. this is also loosely inspired by everything i didnât say by 5sos, except they were never in an official relationship. also, it takes like a weird turn and shifts weird halfway through? and this is my first work iâve written since i last posted so iâm still getting into the groove of things iâm sorry đ anyway! this is dedicated to @carmelakimtodoroki for the special exchange event in @kflixnet !! hope you like what i wrote for you <3 @underworldnet
you sigh as you rub your eyes in exhaustion. another late night studying had snuck up on you. and even though you had promised your best friend you would try to keep your studying to a reasonable hour, you had gotten carried away going through all your case studies your professor had recommended you read.
you sit there for a moment before your stomach rumbles, breaking the silence in your room. you grab your stomach, hunger taking over now that you werenât distracted by your studies. you decide itâs time to stop for the night, both your body and the time on your clock urging you to eat and sleep before you pass out at your desk.
you quickly got up and slipped an oversized hoodie and your pink slippers before making your way out of the apartment and towards the 7/11 down the street. you take the moment to take in the fresh air and the sound of the wind blowing softly passed you.
âyn!â you turn to face the direction the voice came from, a smile pulling at your lips when you see itâs your best friend, hongjoong. âjoong.â you close your eyes and take a deep breath when he engulfs you in a warm embrace.
âwhy donât you have pants on?â you open your eyes and look towards hongjoong in confusion. âwhat do you mean?â you lift your hoodie to showcase your pink shorts hiding underneath the large hoodie. hongjoong looks at you with a cute pout, an underlying firmness hidden behind it as he whined to you. ânext time you wanna go out late at night, invite me. i donât want anything happening to you. thereâs a lot of bad people around.â you nod, looping your arm around his so you can pull him the rest of the way towards the bright convenience store just ahead. âyou got it. now letâs go get some food, iâm starving.â
hongjoong followed you around the convenience store with a basket in hand, ready for when you picked out another snack you were craving. you spoke absentmindedly as you stated at the ice cream freezer. âletâs get ice cream after we finish eating.â hongjoong agrees and follows you to the cashier, putting his card on the counter as you reached for your wallet in your pocket.
you pouted. âi was gonna pay.â hongjoong chuckled as he grabbed the bag of food and walked towards the counter to heat everything up. âitâs fine. you can pay for the ice cream.â you sigh and nod in agreement.
âhowâs your studying going?â you look at hongjoong leaning against the counter, arms propped on the edge behind him. you look him over as you speak. âitâs fine, i had a lot of work to do today but the case studies are really interesting.â hongjoong nods as he listens to you intently. âi see youâre still forgetting to eat dinner.â heâs scolding you now and you canât help the blush that heats your face at his observation. âi told you, i donât do it on purpose. i just lose track of time.â
hongjoong is carefully bringing your bowl of food towards you, speaking only once heâs placed it in front of you, one hand leaning on the table and the other on the back of the stool youâre sitting on as he speaks. âmaybe i should make you live with me or something, because how am i supposed to make sure youâre taking care of yourself otherwise. i wonât know for sure unless iâm the one taking care of you.â
hongjoong is speaking to himself but you turn away at the way the heat rushes back to your face. âwhat are you even saying hongjoong.â you scoff as you bring a bite of food up to your mouth. hongjoong chuckles as he brings a hand up to wipe the sauce away from your chin and the corners of your mouth. âiâm saying youâre really just my big baby that i need to take care of 24/7.â you stare at him as he goes back to the counter to heat up his own food.
x
hongjoong meant what he said that night. he practically lived with you at this point, showing up at your doorstep at any hour with take out in hand or groceries to cook for you. he would knock out on the couch for a bit and when it was getting too late for hongjoong, heâd pull your glasses off your face and guide you to your bed where heâd tuck you in and then join in right behind you.
youâd seen more of hongjoong in a week than you had in the past month. his new dedication to really taking care of you all day every day brought on astray thoughts that you had never really considered since you first met the pretty boy all those years ago.
you pull yourself out of your head when you realize you were staring at hongjoong as he strummed random chords on his guitar, humming words you couldnât quite hear. you decide itâs time for a break and join him on the couch.
âcan you play something for me? itâs been a while since iâve heard you play.â hongjoong nods as he takes a second to think of what he wants to play for you and then set up. you smile as you listen to the soft strumming of his fingers on the guitar.
the notes floated nicely around the room, the sweet tone of hongjoongâs voice following close behind. you watched as he immersed himself fully into the song, eyes closed as he sang each word wholeheartedly. you smiled as you watched him, so in his element and so authentically himself without a doubt.
just as he reached the bridge, the ringing of a phone startled you both out of whatever trance you were in. hongjoongâs eyes opened, flitting around the table as he searched for his phone. you decided to go get something to drink for you both as he picked up the phone.
âhello?â you could hear him answer the phone. you turned away as you pulled the pitcher of juice you made out of the fridge. âwhat? yeah. why?â you could hear the annoyance creeping up in his voice as the conversation continued. you looked at him worriedly. you could tell he was trying to be subtle and not let his emotions get out of control. finally, the conversation seemed to come to an end. âfine.â
you turned to put away the pitcher when you saw him stand and put his phone in his pocket. hongjoong sighed before gathering all his things in his bag and turning towards you. âsorry, i have to go. iâll see you later, yeah?â you smiled and nodded as he made his way out the door.
x x
you didnât see him later. in fact, you hadnât seen him since that very moment when hongjoong walked out of your apartment 6 months ago. he had disappeared into thin air for a while. he didnât answer your first few texts where you expressed your worry and asked if he was ok, you never saw him on campus anymore, and all your calls to his phone wouldnât even go through. you let it be after the first few times. you had taken the hint and went on with life, but you couldnât help the way your eyes wandered around the crowd of faces every time you stepped on campus.
you sighed as you averted your eyes to the ground. you didnât want to disappoint yourself for the umpteenth time in the past couple of months. you scolded yourself internally, telling yourself that it wasnât worth it. that he wasnât worth it.
suddenly, youâre stumbling back, two large hands grabbing you by your arms to steady you. âoh my goodness, iâm sorry. i wasnât watching where i was going. are you ok?â you were looking forward now to see who you had accidentally bumped into.
itâs a tall boy, eyes soft and worried as he looked you over. you nodded. âiâm fine. i wasnât even close to falling. and besides, i wasnât looking where i was going either.â you offer him a smile. he sighs in relief. âuh, can i offer you come eat with me and my friends later? i feel bad now.â you put your hands up and shake your head. âyou really donât have to. itâs no big deal.â
the guy looks at his watch before he puts his hand out towards you. âgive me your phone. iâll put my number in and text you the spot and time.â you donât know why youâre so compliant, but you give this random, nameless guy your unlocked phone after he asked for it. he hands it back. âiâll see you later. bye!â and heâs off running in the opposite direction.
x x x
you honestly forget about your run in with the random guy earlier in the day. you were busy with school and rushing to get assignments done between classes. youâre just going about your day normally until your phone buzzes with a message.
yunho: meet at kbbq spot on the corner of first and third at 5 pm !
you smile at the text. of course. he even sounded cute over text. you respond in acknowledgment and continue with your homework until you need to get ready. but you canât focus. not when you have dinner with a cute guy and his possibly cute friends in two hours. you sigh and lean back in your chair, holding your tummy as it tightens with anxiousness.
you decided you needed a shower to calm your nerves and also to freshen yourself up. the warm water relaxed your body and the smell of your floral scented soap calmed your senses.
with a newfound sense of calm, you opened your eyes and began washing your body, taking your time to scrub every part that you could reach and then treating yourself with your favorite body scrub afterwards.
you took your time looking through your clothes before settling on a lavender knitted sweater, light wash jeans, and your classic high top converse. something simple but still cute and satisfying. after you pinned your fringe back, you grabbed your bag and pulled out your phone to text yunho that you were on your way.
you spotted yunho first when you arrived. he smiled big as you approached, his hair jumping slightly as he excitedly bounced in his spot. you smiled back. âhey!â yunho pulled you towards where you guessed his friends were sitting. âhey! iâm glad you could make it. my friends are already sitting, they were waiting for us.â you nodded and followed him in excitement. âi hope they werenât waiting too long.â yunho shook his head. ânah. and if they did, so what? they can wait.â you laughed at yunhoâs words.
âhey everyone, this is the person i was telling you about.â you look across the table and freeze when you see whoâs seated there. a chorus of greetings echoes around but you canât help but just stand there as you think of a million ways you could possibly escape right now. you looked at yunho as he began introducing everyone. âthis is seonghwa, yeosang, thatâs san, mingi, wooyoung, jongho and that's hongjoong. and yuna is wooyoungâs girlfriend, mina is with seonghwa, and haneul is with hongjoong.â despite the wave of emotions you were feeling, you couldnât help the genuine smile that pulled at your lips when you saw how happy and excited yunho was to introduce you to his friends, even though the situation had just rocked your world. âguys, this is yn.â
dinner had been going pretty well, with minimal contact with hongjoong. yunho, mingi and wooyoung had been keeping you busy for the most part, playing around and asking all sorts of questions. âoh my god!â wooyoung laughed at mingi as he sat there, pouting at the giant red stain on his pants.
you laughed a bit at the two before looking through your bag and pulling out a tiny tide stain remover stick. âmaybe this will work?â mingi snatched it quickly and immediately rubbed at the stain on his pants. the stain didnât completely lift, but it looked significantly better than how he had started. âynnie, thank you so much. my life savior, i could kiss you right now.â you laughed as you grabbed the stick back from him. the comfort you felt with them brought out a side you had only ever shared with your closest friend who sat a couple chairs down. âdang, at least take me out first.â mingi doubled over in laughter at your words, causing you to smile big as you grabbed a few pieces of meat from the grill to place on the others plates.
x x
dinner had gone well and with no hiccups and now you were walking home, taking your time and taking in your surroundings. you were in a great mood, no doubt.
âhey, wait up!â youâre interrupted by someoneâs gentle hand on your shoulder. you turn around to face the culprit and start panicking inside when you see hongjoong. âhey.â his cheeks and nose are pink from the cold weather, but you canât help but think about how soft and cute he looks at this moment. he has a girlfriend.
your voice doesnât want to work when you go to respond. âhey.â your voice is soft as you look him in the eyes, taking in how much his features have changed since the last time you saw him. he even looked at you with those same eyes, all soft and gentle as he took care of you.
âi wanted to tell you iâm sorry.â youâre a bit stunned and confused. âwhat do you mean?â hongjoong looks at you confused. âfor everything. for invading your space 24/7, for not telling you anything, for not calling or texting⊠for leaving you with no explanation that day.â you exhale loudly at his apology. you never thought youâd hear an apology from him, let alone see him again.
âi had to leave. they made me leave you.â you put your hands out to stop him. âwhy are you apologizing?â hongjoong falters and begins fidgeting around when you ask him that. âlook, i appreciate it, but i donât understand. it felt like you played me, like everything was a lie. you hurt me, hongjoong.â
âi know, i know. i didnât mean to.â you shake your head. âno, hongjoong. i donât think you do know. do you know how it feels to be taken care of, loved, cherished so deeply?â hongjoong nods at your question. âand do you know how it feels to have that ripped away out of nowhere with zero explanation? abandoned? and the thoughts that ran through my head?â you scoff when hongjoong just looks at you. âgoodbye, hongjoong.â you go to turn away but he grabs your wrist. âwait.â
your upset and you want to leave so you can lay in bed and cry over losing your best friend and the only man you had ever truly loved the way that you did. âwhat, hongjoong. iâm tired, i want to go home.â hongjoong could see the tears welling up in your eyes. âdo you remember the song i sang for you that day?â you take a deep breath and look away for a moment to catch your breath and push the tears down. âyeah, i do.â he sighed. âyou remember the words?â you looked at him and nodded.
âi could never tell you because i was too scared of ruining our friendship, but i love you.â the air was knocked out of you in that instant. âiâve loved you since the moment we met when you got mad at me for passing my test perfectly without trying when you worked so hard. iâve loved you since graduation when you got me that personalized guitar and took me busking in different cities all night to support my dreams. i loved you then and i love you now.â
youâre speechless. âbut you have a girlfriend.â hongjoong takes that as a good sign and chuckles as he grabs your hands. âsheâs not actually my girlfriend, just someone my parents have been trying to set me up with. the guys like her and get along, so i bring her around sometimes.â you nod. âso⊠what do you say?â you look at him for a moment, trying to process everything you just heard.
you smile at him and then nod. hongjoong smiles back before placing both his hands on your cheeks and pulling you in close. âthank you.â he whispers so softly you can barely hear him. the only thing you do is reach up a little further before placing your lips on his. you pulled back slightly so you could speak to him softly. âi love you too.â
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studio â hongjoong
!MINORS DNI!
â pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader
â rating / genre: 18+ / smut, fluff, established relationship
â warnings: penetrative sex (vanilla), pet names (hj calls reader pretty and baby), grinding, teasing, hickeys, not a warning but this is the softest sex ever? đ
â word count: 1.3k
â summary: you find yourself craving hongjoong when you wake up, desire pent up after he's been locked away in his studio for so long.
â note: this is my first smut so uh yeah lol. i've never really written smut before (and you can tell, i'm so awkward with my words heređ) so this might be a bit bad
[ start ]
You had awoken from your slumber and turned over in bed, groaning when you felt the cold mattress beside you. Hongjoong still hadnât come to bed yet and it was â you lift your head to check the time â 2:45 am. You sigh deeply as you throw the comforter back and swing your legs over the mattress to step onto the cold floor.
You can see the blue light from his computer shining under the door, further confirming your thoughts that your boyfriend was still working in his studio. You opened the door and watched with a pout as Hongjoong bobbed his head a bit to the beat he had been working on since earlier that day.Â
Youâre still groggy with sleep when you make your way towards him and wrap your arms around his chest from behind. Your presence causes him to move his headphones off his head and look up at you with soft eyes. âHi baby. What are you doing up?â You canât help the pout that falls on your lips as you look down at him. âItâs late, you should come to bed.â Hongjoong nods as his fingers go back to moving things around on the track. âIâll be there in a minute. I need to finish this before I forget what I wanted to do.â You sigh as you hear your boyfriendâs words. That had meant he actually wasnât going to bed any time soon and heâd only crawl into bed when the sun was finally coming up and it was time for you to get up.Â
Getting more and more sleepy by the minute but not wanting to leave, you decide to just crawl into Hongjoongâs lap and make yourself comfortable there. As you climb onto his lap you feel Hongjoong wrap a protective arm around your waist to make sure you donât fall. After finally settling down with your head on his shoulder, Hongjoong gets back to work, listening to the demo before going back and changing things. He did this over and over again and it was starting to get on your nerves causing you to shift a bit in his lap.
You felt Hongjoongâs arm tighten around your waist. âDonât do that.â You only huff, not even fully awake at this point, and nuzzle your face further into his neck. A couple minutes later youâre adjusting yourself again, and this time youâre very aware of the thick print of his half hard dick rubbing against your clothed core. âBaby, I said stop.â But he does nothing more to really stop you as you begin leaving little kisses on his neck as you trail your hands down his chest and stick them under the band of his sweatpants. âBaby, what did I just say?âÂ
You could only let out whines. âMm, itâll be fast Joongie.â But Hongjoong doesnât like quick sex. He loves to take his time and enjoy every moment with you. So he took off his headphones and sat back to let you pull his sweats down. Your pulse quickens at the sight and at the thought that he wasnât wearing underwear, almost like he was waiting for you to some and stick your hands in his pants.
âJoongie.â You let out the prettiest whine as Hongjoong grabs your hips and guides your clothed core back and forth over his dick. You could feel the wetness growing and soaking through the panties you were wearing as Hongjoong grinds your hips down onto his own. Hongjoong was kissing down your neck and breathing in your scent, peach from your shampoo mixed with a little bit of sweat, admiring how you felt on top of him with only his shirt and a pair of panties on.
âSo pretty baby.â He couldn't help but murmur the praise in your ear, voice gravelly with lust as he moved his hips a bit to rub against you more. You couldnât take it anymore. You needed him now. So you reached down to hold Hongjoongâs cock and guide it towards the soaked patch of your panties. He groaned in your ear at the feeling of both your hand around his length and the arousal seeping through your panties. âAnd so needy. Whatâs got my baby so needy tonight?â
Youâre not in control of your actions or what you say anymore. Youâre really too far gone, dazed from just waking up and the way heâs making you feel. âJust miss you.â You pout a little more before leaning your forehead forward to meet Hongjoongâs. But Hongjoong loves the way youâre whining for him and how you look, so dazed and fucked out and he hasnât even touched you. So he reached down and pulled your panties aside, far too lazy and way too impatient to actually remove them, and ran a light finger up your slit, feeling how wet you were just from grinding on him. You hummed at the feeling, pushing down to try to get more from him, but to no avail.
But youâre more than pleasantly surprised when Hongjoong lifts your hips and rubs his dick against you to slick himself up a bit. âI can tell.â His voice is almost teasing as he slips his tip in, holding your hips so you canât completely sink down onto him. You whine and nudge his nose with yours. The feeling of him being in you but not completely was frustrating, leaving more to be desired. Especially since you knew just how well he filled you up. âPlease Joongie. Need you.âÂ
He reached up to peck your nose so softly. âSince you asked so nicely.â And he slowly pulls your hips down. He feels so nice and big stretching your warm walls. The pace is achingly slow as he controls your hips. A sigh leaves your lips as you take the last of him in. Hongjoong is still holding your hips down, teasingly rolling you against him. He canât help it. Not when you look so pretty sitting on him, breaths shaky and eyes clenched close with the desire to bounce on him.
You lean forward to catch Hongjoongâs lips in a desperate kiss, whines vibrating in your throat as you went to lift your hips from his own. Much to your satisfaction, he guided your hips to bounce on his length. âMm, Joong.â You let soft moans out at the feeling of Hongjoong reaching so deep and hitting you perfectly in your spot every time.Â
The feeling of Hongjoongâs hands moving up your waist and moving to trace up your spine left goosebumps all over your body, sensation growing with the feeling of his cool breath hitting your neck as he thrusted up into you every time he brought you back down onto him. Hongjoong groaned low into your neck as you clenched around him. He could feel that you were getting close to your high at the feeling of your thighs quivering and the way you leaned forward into him to dig your face into his shoulder.
âJoongie, s-so close.â He moved his head to suck pretty little bruises on your jaw and under your ear as he coaxed you into your orgasm. âWait for me, pretty. Iâm close too.â Hongjoong grunted as he pulled you down into his thrusts, sloppy the closer both of you got to finishing. You whined out as Hongjoong repeatedly hit your sensitive spot. âItâs okay baby. You can cum now.â As he pulled your hips down onto his one last time, you both finish. Hongjoong tightened his arms around your waist as he felt your hole clenching around him, forehead resting on your chest where he could hear your heart beating.Â
All that could be heard were both of your pants, breaths heavy from the orgasm you shared. You were both calming your breaths, feeling each other's heartbeats as sweat glistened on your bodies underneath the soft lights that glowed behind the monitors. âLetâs go to sleep, yeah?â Hongjoongâs soft breaths tickled your neck as he spoke. You hummed in response as you tightened your arms around his neck. âPlease, Iâm sleepy.â Hongjoong could only chuckle lovingly at the tone of your voice, already knowing you had the cutest pout on your lips.
[ end ]
taglist: @wooyoung-a @dogsongy
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ateez as songs â headcanon
pairing: member x gn!reader
rating / genre: G , fluff central
warnings: pet names (love, baby)
word count: 1k total
plot: ateez as songs and moments that you think really make them that song with scenarios.
[ start ]
ă»â„ă»hongjoong
⊠one day at a time // Hongjoong was always ready to pick you up when you needed it. His love for you went beyond your wildest imagination and he always knew what you needed. Heâd be your punching bag when you were angry, your tissue when you cried, and your partner when you were excited. There was no doubt about how dedicated you were to each other and how far â within reason â you would go for each other. You were each otherâs light in the darkness, walking together through your darkest times â and boy, did you guys have dark times. Hongjoong had a way with helping you break through walls you never thought you could break, finally able to be yourself and seek others for anything. // âYouâll be alright, just take it slow, one day at a time. Iâll be right here, love.â Hongjoong stared in your eyes, hands in his own as he comforted your worries.
ă»â„ă»seonghwa
⊠still here // Seonghwa always wants you to know that heâs there and that you can always count on him. Heâs always by your side even when heâs not physically there. He would dedicate your time apart to sending you little video messages and making sure you never felt alone. You would go to the end of the world for each other and wait for each other forever. Your love is strong and your bond unbreakable. You were never afraid of being apart or what might happen in your relationship, you were both so secure and passionate about each other and there was no doubt you would be together until the end. // âI believe in our destiny together and that we canât ever be separated from each other. Iâll always be right here even when Iâm not.â
ă»â„ă»yunho
⊠dancing like butterfly wings // You were always the reason for Yunhoâs smile. Your life was always full of excitement and love with Yunho around. Yunho made it a goal of his to make sure you always felt happy and loved. He would wake you up with gentle kisses on your nose and cheeks, tickle you when you were mad at him for the dumbest reasons, and wipe your tears away when you cried. No matter what, he always wanted to be the reason for your smile. // Yunho couldnât take the huge smile off his face as he danced around the living room with you, music vibrating in your chests and thumping through your veins.
ă»â„ă»yeosang
⊠feeling like i do // Yeosangâs love for you is the purest and strongest form there is. He worships you completely, always making sure you know youâre loved and cared for by him when you leave for work every morning. Yeosang wholeheartedly believes that you were made for each other, bodies moving in harmony, fingers fitting perfectly together, and souls always in tune with one another. You both always say youâre soulmates, the connection far too strong to be otherwise. You are complete when in each otherâs arms and you donât think you could imagine a life without him in it. // âIn the moments when I feel you, I feel complete. I canât imagine life without you.â Yeosang kissed your lips gently, keeping you in place to savor your taste with his hands on your cheeks.
ă»â„ă»san
⊠promise // San is your safe space and always has been. Heâs always been there for you and helped you get back up when you needed him most. He is your strength and your reason. His promise to always be by your side and hold your hand is always on your mind and keeps you going. Nothing can take you down when you have him by your side. // âDonât worry, I'll be there.â San pulls you close and holds you in a tight embrace. âRemember what I promised. Iâll always be here to hold your hand.â
ă»â„ă»mingi
⊠thank u // Mingi has always been one to tell you how much you mean to him and how grateful he is for you. You were there for him when he thought he was alone and you were always there to lend your shoulder when he needed it. He loved that he could lean on you and depend on you to help fill the void in your shared home whenever it grows a little too big. Mingi is thankful for your presence at his side, walking together day by day, and making everyday a good day. // âThank you for being on my side. With you by my side, this rough world is a little easier to walk.â Mingi couldnât hold back the tight hug he gave you.
ă»â„ă»wooyooung
⊠sunrise // You and Wooyoungâs love language was words of affirmation and physical touch. While Wooyoung needed a tight hug and head scratches at all times, you constantly seeked words of affirmation from him â and Wooyoung always knew exactly what you needed to hear without you saying anything. Your love with Wooyoung was unbreakable and the connection you shared was so in sync, your affection becoming second nature. Wooyoung would walk into the living room from behind you as you read a book and youâd immediately shift and beckon him over with a flick of your wrist, all without lifting your eyes from your book. You would come into the kitchen as Wooyoung prepared your dinner and he would look up at you and flash the sweetest smile, asking what youâve been up to and praising you for your hardwork and big ideas. // âYou donât have to worry, baby. Youâre doing great.â Wooyoung gave you a soft smile as he locked eyes with you, hands on either side of your thighs on the counter making you feel safe and reassured.
ă»â„ă»jongho
⊠aurora // Everything was brighter when you were together. You were the pretty lights hanging from the overhangs of the stores during Christmas, the gentle breeze that blew through your guys hair as you picked strawberries, and the intoxicating smell of fresh bread from the bakery below your shared apartment. You were everything and anything that was a part of Jonghoâs everyday life. He could see you dancing around as you gently hummed Mariah Careyâs âAll I Want For Christmas Is Youâ, decorations being meticulously placed around your apartment. You were his love and the light of his life. // âI'll never be scared of the dark again when youâre by my side.â Jonghoâs fingers gently caressed your cheek.
[ end ]
taglist: @wooyoung-a
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