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gendervapor14 · 9 months

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01746 birthday bash ~ day five ~ chapter 50: hopeless

content warnings: heavy angst, alcoholism word count: 577 words brief summary: my take on my favorite scene in law's backstory: rosinante breaking down in tears the night before he becomes just "cora".

happy birthday 01746. my sweet little fucked up story. i can't believe i created you. ♥

Crickets droned on. Law snored softly. Every page was a blur. The sea, the sky, it was all merging together.

Ten hospitals. Six months. All of it, equivalent to nothing.

The fire before him was crackling low, on its way to self-extinguishing. Still hot enough to render paper to ash, little orange worms of hot ember dancing along tattered edges. Lazily, his hand rustled around within the roomy pockets of his coat for any pages left behind. He hardly skimmed them before tossing them in.

“Enemy.” burned quickly. Of course the World Government tainted hospitals. I can’t believe how desperate they are.

“We needed a better plan.” was gobbled up eagerly by hungry flame. So inclined to cover up their own horrible misdeeds, they purposely miseducated trained professionals. People who are trusted with life itself.

“Marines.” fluttered into the fire. I’ll never wear that justice coat again.

With a defeated belch, Rosinante stared at the sleeping snail planted on top of a stack of sea charts. Receiver firm in hand, anyway. “I wouldn’t pick up if I were you, either. I promised I wasn’t going to do anything stupid.” He mumbled, “Then I quit my mission for half a year. Never called, never looked for you.”

For a moment, he waited for a reply that would never come. Hung his head and let his heavy eyelids flutter shut. “I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t do anymore. I disappeared.”

The receiver hit the dirt without a sound. His hands fisted around the book of sea charts in his lap. His brother’s beloved sea charts. The solution, he thought, the diamond in the rough. He tore out a handful of pages and whipped them over the cliff’s edge, towards the sea. Ancient maps tore and fluttered in the wind until they clung to the surface of the water. Slowly breaking down, deteriorating.

And then, he downed the rest of that sweet bottle of white wine. The bottle he saved for months now, the cure bottle. The celebration bottle. Tasted bitter as hell.

What the hell am I doing…? I’m completely isolated now, forcing this poor kid to relive his horrible childhood, over and over again. I might as well have crucified him outside a church and lit a match. He stared at the blurring waves, legs folded up, moonlight turning dark feathers a glistening violet. His sickness is only getting worse. It’s not even the will of D driving me anymore. I don’t care about that anymore. I’m not sure I ever did.

When he dies, then what, Rosinante? What purpose do you have? You’ve turned your back on your family, blood and otherwise. There’s nothing left.

An aftershock of rage coursed through him. He swayed up to his feet, shoulders trembling. Threw the empty bottle against the rocky surface, hard, internally delighted with the sprinkle of glass, the shattering echo. The heat prickled then, sparked up from his sternum, clogged his throat, his nose. His eyes. I just…I feel so sorry for this damn kid. He’s got Flevance under his skin, his family’s death in his eyes, and my brother’s wretched strings tangled around every limb. He needs help, but it just seems so impossible…and if I give up…if I do nothing…he’s going to become just as miserably dangerous as Doflamingo. But what am I supposed to do? Love didn’t save Sengoku, Tsuru, or Sora from my stupidity. Love won't save Law from White Lead Disease.

read the full story here ♥

previous entry here!

#crying weeping i love this scene so much #i tried to do it justice #i think when i saw this i was like “yeah. i'm gonna write a fic about you one day”#one piece fanfiction #genwrites #donquixote rosinante #corazon one piece #trafalgar law #trafalgar d water law #01746 #01746 birthday bash #not tagging “one piece marines” because.#well he literally set them on fire in this scene #he logged out #another reason i love this scene #you can't convince me at this point he wouldn't be like “eh. fuck 'em.”#anyway thank you so much if you read any of these or stuck around #means the world to me

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sailingintothenight · 3 years

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“DARLING, YOU.”

FutureDad!Tom Holland x actress!reader.

Summary: On a rainy day, (Y/N) broke up with Tom and never looked back. The reason is still a mystery, is a secret you never told anyone. But after 4 years and a hopeless night, you and Tom must face the next 9 months together while you two decide whether you can pick up your life where you left off or the resentment will be too much to forgive and forget. But how easy can it be when there is a new girl in his life and a possible new love in your own?

A/N: Hello everyone.

This is the first chapter of this miniserie, there will be a few but I hope you like it and give it a try. I take this opportunity to thank with all my heart all the people who follow my blog. I just realized that I have over 2000 followers and it's crazy, I know I'm not the best writer or the most poetic one but I'm very happy that you like my stories too. If you want, you can send requests! Thank you♥

PROLOGUE:

It is a well-known fact, a belief or a lie, that you will meet the love of your life only once. One opportunity. One person. One Love. Their story was just like that. This is the story of a girl and a boy who loved each other deeply, the story of their search for happiness, for their own well-being and for the fruit of a love that managed to last through time and distance. But, will that be enough to be together? or will the past be too much to survive the storm? Did you ever wonder... does it make sense to look for the love of your life in a place where you no longer know if there is love, or if there is life?

PREGNANT.

For her, the world is spinning out of control and it feels unstable, as if it's going to split open and swallow her alive, throwing her into a plummet that is as terrifying — as possibly painful. And it is then that the lust of a few weeks ago turns to guilt inside her, hitting her with the hard force and the high speed of a train that hurts her mercilessly right in the place where a life is beginning to grow before she got could decide if she wanted it that way or not.

What (Y/N) (Y/L/N) knows well is that, exactly 6 weeks ago, she was negligent with her own body, losing control of it, because now it belongs to a future person, to an embryo that was the product of a night of much alcohol and sex, the most reckless decision she made in her young, square and narrow life, because the truth was that, her hours, weeks and months to come were already scheduled, and they belonged to her famous life — in past tense, because now, (Y/N) is the home of a new life, according to the doctor, who grew up with every irregular breath she took — they belonged to the movies yet to be filmed and countries to visit on her still long way to the top, while right now, everything seems to turn to ashes as is consumed by a forest fire.

Sitting against her bedroom bathroom door, hands joined in a prayer begging for mercy, she thinks it's funny how a screaming mind can silence the entire world around — a world falling apart filling the void. Because they, she and Tom, tempted fate and ended up burning the hands that held each other's bodies that night, because to make a baby you need two people, but... Would the roots of Tom's love be too deep enough to face the change in their future?

“(Y/N), your mom sent me. Are you alright? You have a while there."

Tom is standing on the other side of the door, and his brow furrows in concern, one hand in the air because he's afraid to knock, because she can't seem to hear him, though he manages to barely hear her, too submerged in her laments to notice that there is someone else in her room, other than her and the merciful God — whom her dear grandfather promised would answer the prayers of a sincere soul — that she wholeheartedly hopes is real and can hear her right now when she need HIM the most.

"He– he said God hears you best when you're on your knees." (Y/N) is crying, and her words are drowning in her tears as her voice cracks when she speaks, her own English accent getting thicker. "But he doesn't seem to hear me."

The desperation in her voice makes Tom's heart break, easily and into little pieces that he tries to hold it in place, because he had never heard her cry like that before — so quiet when there was a party downstairs, so lonely when she has people who love her, so broken when she should be happy about... everything. But his mind is a whirlwind of questions and concerns, and his only clear thought is to keep her safe as his right hand rests on the door at the same time Tom rests his head against it, softly, making the sounds that would calm a baby, ironically.

"Darling, please tell me what's wrong, what can I do for you? How I can help?"

"Nothing. You can not help me. Nobody can."

Her voice starts to sound desperate, while madness and the irrational takes over his mind as Tom waits silently for her to formulate a word, but (Y/N) cries and cries and cries a little more because it's liberating, because she can't run and find a beach that saves her. Because after being the daughter of a marine, it is normal for her to seek refuge in such a place like that. Because (Y/N) believes from her heart that the sea is healing, with its smell, the division between dry and wet sand by the waves that leave their mark on their way to the coast: the sea is a sanctuary for her body and mind, because the sea smells of salt — salt and the freedom that she is looking for right now.

"(Y/N), please come out, darling. I promise everything is fine. Can you tell me what happened? Please? I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

(Y/N) closes her eyes, but the moment she tries to say something, that day their relationship ended comes back to her mind and annihilates whatever words she tries to say to him. Was it really like that how it all ended? With ugly, harsh words that came from the same person who once swore to be the happiest man in the world by her side, words that hurt more than a punch, that sank into her stomach until she felt nauseous.

Would Tom's commitment, if he wanted to have the baby, be enough to try it?

“I'm giving you a way out, Tom. Okay?" (Y/N) wipes the tears from her eyes, one hand protecting her still flat stomach to give herself the courage she needs, the same courage that seems to have abandoned her right now. “You don't have to stay if you don't want to. Can you please keep that in mind for me?"

Tom's back strains as he nods, although she can't see him.

"Okay, darlin’."

Her mouth is suddenly dry, and the words that (Y/N) still doesn't say aloud are like fire on gunpowder about to explode, or at least that's how dangerous the situation feels, but, armed with nothing but the truth in front of her, (Y/N) ventures out pretending to be brave and puts her God aside, because there are times like this that a person had to face alone, and, taking a step towards the reality that awaits her outside and that engulfs, for a second, the mess created in her own mind, she speaks.

"I'm pregnant, Tom."

For him, it is as if her words were a sharp razor that cuts his breath away, that makes the world stop completely, leaving a great void where silence lies and reigns, without horns to be heard outside in the London neighborhood where they grew up and fell in love, without the singing of the birds that nest in the tree just outside the window, without being able to hear the sound of his own breathing that seems to stop too just like the beating of his weak heart.

His mind runs as fast as possible, registering her words, processing who he is and who he will be in the future: Tom Holland, London's most beloved child, actor, famous, successful, and now, future father?

Does this mean that they should be together? Because finally, Tom had managed to extinguish every feeling he once had for her, as well as the light of their love that once shone and that one was turn off, which trapped them in the shadows of a cold, hurricane and endless night, running in circles far from each other without knowing where they were going, drifting like a lost ship in the ocean and in complete darkness until everything ended. But why did he still want her? Why was he still wishing, stronger than ever, to have a future with her?

"(Y/N), can you come out... please?"

Her head falls as a sudden wave of fear and despair sweeps through her mind.

"Why?"

"Because I want to hug you." Tom says sweetly, so calmly that (Y/N) squeezes her eyes tight as she feels her heart about to explode. This feels like heaven and hell at the same time. He is confused too, and very scared, but he can see it clearly: the weight that (Y/N) must be carrying on her shoulders in these moments, all alone. "C'mon, darling. Please? Can you do that for me?”

Her legs tremble as (Y/N) stands up, ready or not to face the world that awaits her on the other side of the door. The fear of the future is incessant and sounds like an alarm in her head, but like the last move in a chess game, (Y/N) has no choice but to step forward to open the door, only to find that maybe, just maybe, there is a future nothing but bright on the other side.

Tom is standing there, just two steps from her.

His hair, fluffy as a cloud, is combed back, but just like always, because there are few things that never seem to change, he has a rebellious lock falling to the side of his forehead, but he is smiling, and the edges of his eyes crinkle just as adorably as in those old days. And it melts her that silently, Tom extends a hand towards her, in the way he tells her that there he is, that he has not gone anywhere, that in his arms is the place where she should be now, and that it is why still overwhelmed by the news, she approaches him, wrapping her trembling arms around his neck, sinking her face into the crook of his neck to hide herself from the world as he cradles she in his body as she cries a little more.

"It's okay, darling. I'm here." Tom holds her firmly, feeling the fatigue in her body as he thinks of the time she was sitting on that cold floor, again, all alone. "We're going to lay you down on the bed for a bit. All right?"

"Okay."

Separating from him, (Y/N) walks to the bed that is only a few steps away and that receives her as if it were a paradise, accepting the pillow that Tom places under her head before lying down next to her to look at her eyes, so adoringly as his left hand rests on her belly.

"How far are you?"

"6 weeks."

"When did you find out?"

"2 days ago."

"You went to the doctor?"

"Yes."

"Alone?" Tom asks, his brows knitting together in concern.

"Yes."

Tom nods, giving her a moment for her not to think that this was an interrogation, but rather a father's longing to know all that he lost.

“We are going to keep him… Right? I mean... I don't want to force you to do something you don't want to. It's our baby, but it's your body too and I don't want to make you feel like I'm pressuring you… but, (Y/N)...” There's a hint of concern in Tom's voice, and in the way his brown eyes look at her with fear and his forehead wrinkles that she knows he is scared, but there is something more too. "I know I can be a good father."

Tears form on the edge of her eyes, but (Y/N) fights against them, because it's terrifying to think how easy it is to drown in a sea of them, cutting off her words when she has to speak what her heart is dying to say.

"I'm afraid I can't love the baby, Tom. Or be a bad mother." Her voice cracks in embarrassment, but getting those words out of her body is a relief.

"What?!" Tom's brow furrows again, and his whisper is almost high-pitched, which is kind of funny. “Darling, come on, I've seen you with Danielle, Ethan and Julian, your nephews and niece love you and I know how much you love them. I've seen it in the way you look at them, as if they were yours. I know this is scary but we will be fine. Okay? You are not alone in this. This baby has a father and a mother who will love him until the end of the world."

(Y/N) blinks.

"You keep saying he."

Tom smiles apologetically, but in these turbulent and overwhelming times, his smile is comforting.

"Sorry. I don’t want to call him or her, it. Beside, I always wanted to have a boy first."

First, that's the word that makes (Y/N) look away for a moment, because maybe Tom, at some point in their relationship, had imagined them both, married, having a baby: first a boy and then a girl.

Or maybe, no, not with her, not anymore.

"Uh, when is the best time to tell our parents?"

Tom thinks about that, thinks about his mom and dad, how proud they would be to know that the oldest of their sons is about to have a baby, making them grandparents, making uncles to their younger siblings, making their best mate a godfather.

"They say the best time is now."

"Yeah. I was afraid of that." (Y/N) sighs, and with no strength in her body or soul, she sits on the bed, watching the way Tom asks her with his eyes what she's doing. "The best time is now, right?"

(Y/N) stands up as Tom does, smoothing out her jeans, and thanking herself for wearing her favorite sweater before heading down the road to victory — or defeat, depending on her parents' reaction. — towards the door, out of her room and the place that seemed to give her some peace. The walk down the hall is long, suffocating, and overwhelming, but the sudden way Tom takes her hand gives her the courage to move on and just forward, because escaping is not an option, because there is no better time than now. But suddenly, Tom stops her just before she can turn the corner of the first floor and into the hallway that leads directly to the kitchen, only to stand in front of her, looking into her eyes before his hands gently hold her face, as if she were the piece of the most valuable art in this world, only to gently kiss her on the forehead before hugging each other, taking all of the other as they can.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding you is the only way I can hold this angel of my too."

Tom sighs against the edge of her neck, trying to banish all fear in her body. And even though it's overwhelming the way he talks, as if suddenly the baby is his whole world and his reason for living, she hugs him back before letting him go and walking back to the kitchen, but as they both get closer to their families gathered in the around, hand in hand, attracting the attention from the happy chat while they wash and dry the dishes, (Y/N) feels the need, deep in her stomach, as if she has a sixth sense, to have a plan B in case things go wrong.

"What is happening?" Nikki asks, and the smile in her voice and on her pink lips is evident.

"Everyone, (Y/N) and I have something to tell you." Tom smiles, but he's nervous too, she can see it in the way his lips disappear for a second inside his mouth, like he used to do when he was nervous, worried, or distraught.

"Baby?" Her mom asks her, but for some strange reason, (Y/N) feels the need to hide behind Tom's body, or anywhere that would give the baby a safe place.

"Mum, I–" (Y/N) closes her mouth before continuing, before saying aloud the words that would change their worlds forever, too. "I... we…"

"We are expecting a baby." Tom says suddenly, snatching away the words that he knew (Y/N) couldn't say out loud to them. "We are very happy about that, and we hope you are too."

Like being about to touch the sky with her bare hands, (Y/N) can see the way Nikki puts her hands to her mouth to cover her surprise, but not before letting her see the smile that hides behind, or the way Dom grins, because Tom was right: a father would always be proud of his first-born, bringing another new member to the family, but like being at the doors and not being able to get in, (Y/N) feels like collapsing to the ground when there is no reaction from her family.

"Mommy?"

"I thought I taught you better, (Y/N)." Lauren looks away from her baby, who is now about to have a baby. Her gaze is icy on her little girl, but in these moments when the news has blinded her, her mother can see nothing but her own disappointment. "What about your career? You compromised, you had to be responsible. It was the only thing we asked of you, that's why we let you fly free. I thought I taught you better than this. I can't do this. I'm sorry."

The way she apologizes to the guests before leaving, feels in (Y/N)'s heart, as if her mom just apologized for the shame of having a daughter like her. And suddenly, the world is a place as silent as it is sepulchral that could drive the sanest person crazy, leaving her on the edge where her hopes of having someone else support her, love her, tell her that everything will be fine are falling down, but (Y/N) no longer has the strength to even look up from the ground when her father, as strong as any marine, and as cold as a stranger, passes her by, too.

She bites her lips, fighting the rush of tears that follows.

"Hey, don't worry. I got you. We got you."

The moment makes her dizzy and its weight drowns her, but Tom takes a glance at his family before holding her against him, because even though she felt she had no one, she, and the baby, still had him. But in a world full of changing definitions of love, selective memory is capricious, because it only projects memories based on our emotions. So when this haze that clouds their minds fades away and, they return to be who they were that night after making love, what will happen then?

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Tagging people who commented, if you don't want it, you can tell me hehehe

@annathesillyfriend @herondale-snow-carstairs

#tom holland imagine #dad!tom holland #tom holland x actress!reader #tom holland x reader #dad!tom #tom holland fanfic #tom holland

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