#(...or alenowen perhaps?)

[total-drama-brainrot]

TD World Tour AU, where Noah is Chris’s Assistant from the start of World Tour, instead of a contestant ... Alejandro tries to charm Noah, like Alejandro had charmed Chef, but Noah is immune to his charms... What if Assistant Noah still told Owen that Alejandro is like 'an eel dipped in grease' and Alejandro CAN'T get rid of Assistant Noah for saying that?... Would they have a weird frenemy relationship for the rest of the show?... With Alejandro sometimes teasingly flirting with Noah, like he does with Heather? 😘

In my take on an Assistant Noah AU, Noah would be entirely immune to Alejandro's charm, not because he's switched on to The Archvillain's true colours (which, he is, but I digress) but because Assistant Noah is The Saltiest Bitch.

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Imagine with me, for a moment, that you've landed yourself a pretty sweet gig; you're the personal assistant of an A-list celebrity who's only real job at the moment is hosting and directing one (1) reality TV show. The pay is really good and the job itself comes with a tonne of benefits, plus it's the perfect position for you to develop networks within the business (Noah canonically mentions "working his way up this 'biz", implying he has a desire to continue in the field of showbusiness).

Now imagine with me that said celebrity is Chris McLean, renown sadist and all-around disaster of a man. This guy absolutely pawns off the majority of his work onto you, meaning it falls onto your shoulders to; corral the on-set interns into some semblance of competency, make sure that each challenge is properly set up and ready to go, make sure Chris himself is set up and ready to go, and put up with regular coffee run requests. That's a lot of work for one 16~17 year old, even if you are a certified genius.

You're overworked, sleep-deprived and two seconds away from snapping at the nearest intern at any given moment.

And then, during the filming of the latest season, the guy you hand picked to star in the non-existent "Total Drama Dirtbags" (mostly because he was better looking than his brother, who also applied) tries to charm and flirt his way into you giving him advantages in the competition- or at the very least, trick you into divulging information on their next challenge. It's as if he thinks you're somehow not aware of the fact that he's a total scumbag, despite knowing you work on the show and therefore have seen both his acts of sabotage and the confessions in which he plots them.

Suffice to say, you're kind of insulted. I mean, really? Flirting? You don't even have time for something as trivial as a relationship, or even a fling! There's challenges to set up, international negotiations to suffer through, and unpaid interns to boss around- your schedule's booked!

And yet he keeps flirting with you, even after you've snubbed him multiple times. At this point you're pretty sure it's become a point of wounded pride for him, instead of the game tactic it started as; after all, his charms have worked on pretty much everyone on the cast, what makes you so different?

Eventually, as the herd thins, you decide to warn your best friend (who's somehow miraculously remained in the competition, despite his 'team leader's' obvious dislike of him) about Alejandro's less-than-noble intentions. Owen misconstrues your selfless act of solidarity as a sign of jealousy, or god forbid 'denial of your feelings', towards Alejandro. Which, what? No, that's not it at all! The one time you try to be a good friend and this is how you're repaid?

Alejandro overhears this, unfortunately, and seems to take the fact that you're not fooled by his obviously fake mask as some sort of personal affront. Of course, as the person who's essentially running the show, there's not much he can do to you besides carry on being the nuisance he is- which is exactly what he does, but more.

Suddenly, his flirting from before seems like nothing, because now he's really trying to get under your skin with that same plastic charm; it's like he took the dial to his natural flirtatiousness and turned it to eleven. It's annoying. And worse, it's getting in the way of your work flow.

You'd love to stage his elimination, but you know the public outcry from his untimely departure from the show would outweigh the relief of being rid of him, so you resolve to do as you have been; ignoring Alejandro until he gets bored. (That's easier said than done- he's really good at getting under your skin, like the thorns on a rose bush.)

To make matters Even Worse, your elusive appearances on the show- as Chris' personal assistant it would be impossible to avoid the cameras entirely, but you'd bribed the editing team to cut as much of your unwitting footage from the final edit as they could- paired with your 'entertaining dynamic' with Alejandro has the viewers clambering for more, so now you're obligated to act as a de facto co-host alongside your boss.

So now you're stuck having to at least acknowledge Alejandro, if only to give the editors something to work with. Great.

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At least, that's what my take on an Assistant Noah AU would entail.🤷‍♀️

#imagine if you will-💥 #yes i wrote this in second person. i'm trying something new. something more immersive. #the sudden influx of noah-centric AUs on this blog continues to astound me #you guys really love throwing ideas at me pertaining to one (1) cynical nerd #not that i'm complaining 🤭 #this could be interpreted as alenoah but i'm gonna throw a curveball here and say-- #it's one-sided alenoah on alejandro's part and noah is either-- #heavily aspec (projecting) or crushing on owen (nowen supremacy) because there's already so much alenoah in my AUs #(...or alenowen perhaps?) #total drama #td noah #td alejandro #td owen #silly ideas #others' ideas #assistant noah #replies