#(7502 and 7514: ..........)

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

Traintober Day 13: “Lonely” (D5702, D5714, and Crow)

Oh, the Metrovicks think they have problems? Well, they do in fact. But now they’re about to get hit with the heavy. Call it perspective. 

Snippet only. The tone isn’t really all that bleak, but nevertheless:

tw: death, mortality

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

D5702 and D5714 had no idea what the orders were supposed to mean. They supposed they couldn’t possibly be as bad as some of the other engines gleefully predicted… at least, they put up a good front of dismissing all this as rubbish.

Their drivers were not much help. They spoke basic, too-ready encouragement, about how they were to be reunited with their whole family all in the same place, and to have their motor problems fixed once and for all.   

It sounded nice… but they were still losing the work they loved. During such a period is never the one to ask an engine to hunt silver linings. On the contrary, they were starting to develop considerable skepticism about the chances of them ever catching a real break. 

Then, too, D5714 had also caught their northern-end driver applying for a program to train staff on a new model of ‘Deltic’ diesels.   

So the brothers went unusually quiet, even for them. Naturally, their last week went smoothly as silk. It always did seem they were able to perform well when it made absolutely no difference.   

Their last day was spent showing the new Derby-Sulzer locomotives around, and then they had to give up their night train to them, left in the dark on a siding next to Crow. They were told kindly enough to rest for the next day’s journey, but after a whole day in idleness they hardly expected a simple run to Barrow to tax them. It was just as well. They doubted they should have slept, even if their motors had been turned off, and they had been free of Crow’s presence.   

Not that Crow seemed particularly crowy. There was not even a single I-told-you-so.   

“Well, hummers, I s’pose this is good-bye,” she said calmly. “You know, don’t you, that you’ll never be returned here? I hope your shop sorts you out proper, and you get another shot at service. But don’t hold out any foolish false hope to come back on the Condor.”   

“That,” said D5702 coldly, “remains to be seen.”   

She gave him a tired grin. “I reckon I was three years old once, too. It’s nice, when you still know everything. Well, maybe so, Metrovick. Maybe so. You have a look in your eye there, sometimes, Oh-Two—I’d stay out of your way. Anyway, the only thing I know for sure is that this is good-bye. Maybe you’ll come back. But I am going to die tonight. I’ve made up my mind to, you see.”   

D5714 and D5702 exchanged baffled glances. Then both their expressions closed off. They had already been the butt of far too many games and tricks in their short lives, and now by instinct they sealed themselves away, as Crow chatted on quite unhurriedly.   

“I’m sorry you two will have to wake to it, for you are decent lads, and I reckon you’ve not seen a dead loco before—at least, not seen one you’ve known alive. It’s a bit of a fright, the first time…”   

(Both the brothers got flashes of half-built and half-dismantled engines and ships from their workshop days... and with their motors running they couldn’t help a quite visible little shudder, as they eyed Crow warily.)   

“But I’d rather do it with you two than alone, or among fresh strangers,” Crow went on, untroubled. “And I reckon I’ve the right to be a little selfish, on the night of my own death. You just remember that it’s not as unnatural as it seems. It’s not unnatural one bit. What’s unnatural is when they condemn a loco before they come to the end of their life… that’s more convenient for everyone, but it ain’t natural, even when they do their best to be kind about it, and make sure the engine is quite out and unconscious… ‘s humane enough, I s’pose, but it’s not near so natural as letting the spirit depart when it’s good and ready. To say nothing of all this scrapping mania lately! Some of it is done in such a rush, you just know they can’t really be… well, anyway. Myself, I think I’d rather suffer but have the thing done quickly, anyway. But this is the very best way of all, and I’m going to get it. Tonight. I can tell, somehow. I’ve laid hold of the trick of it, I reckon—it’s not really about me ‘moving on’ at all. It’s really about me staying put, and letting the world turn on without me. That’s the trick of it. Less about moving… more about stopping. I’m all right with that. I love the world tonight, d’you know that? I’ve had a grudge against it for years. But tonight I’m awful fond of it. I’m just not… curious. I just sort of know it will get on all right without me, and I reckon my ego has finally recovered from figuring that out. I almost like this whole big world too much to stay in this silly little body. Maybe I’ll lose it all—but maybe for once I’ll get to see it all proper, too, the whole thing of it. That would be grand. It’s worth taking such a big risk, to be able to sort of grasp it all.”   

“Crow—”   

But D5702 gave D5714 a warning look, and D5714, though annoyed, capitulated without fuss.   

D5702 didn’t really think that Crow was going to die that night. That was just a bit of dramatic flair from a bored and increasingly morbid engine… although, to own the full truth, Crow's had never been a histrionic personality.   

But they all knew that her date soon would be set, and it seemed to D5702 that she could be indulged, this once.   

Anyway, what did it matter if they believed this was her time, if she believed it? No one who even merely fancied they were dying should be left to feel lonely or unheard.   

D5702 himself had never lacked the companionship of at least one of his brothers for a single hour of his life. He couldn’t fathom it, being as lonely as Crow must have been here over the years, many and many a night. 

#ttte fic #ttte fanfic #ttte boco #ttte oc #traintober #fic snippet #... 2020 has been a year for thinking about death #thank you talking trains you've been very helpful to me in coming to terms with people-mortality #anyway they indulge Crow who discusses a bit about one of her old friends and her favorite crew from the '30s #anddd jjjjjjjust when they are getting properly interested in these people it's all #'oh and then my crew was drafted and driver was killed and the other engine didn't last war austerity maintenance. sooo that's been that.' #'... haven't you kiddos fallen asleep yet? would like some privacy here at the end please.' #(7502 and 7514: ..........) #(which is also their reaction in the morning when they find Crow's prediction has also come true and she's dead and faceless) #(but. like. times 10.) #ttte oc: crow #jobeywrites

[autumnblogs]

Day 68: Reunion

https://homestuck.com/story/7457

Just because Vriska is happy to take credit for everyone’s shit being in order doesn’t really mean all the credit realistically belongs to her.

Which isn’t to say she gets none of the credit; her willingness to time-travel (which Dave is presumably still hung up on) and her ability to put Jade to sleep definitely helped things not go straight to shit.

More after the break.

https://homestuck.com/story/7458

Vriska’s presence, while tactically necessary for victory, sucks practically all the air out of the room. Almost no one else can get a word in edgewise. While she’s around post-retcon, practically everyone else is reduced to a secondary character in any conversation with her. Luckily, she doesn’t stick around long - just exactly long enough to be useful.

https://homestuck.com/story/7459

The Scourge Sisters are complicated characters.

Terezi spends a lot of this conversation hedging. It seems like, however well-intentioned and “necessary” Terezi’s choice to save Vriska’s life might have been for the greater good, the story passes very little judgement one way or the other on her whether that was right.

On the one hand, it’s the thing that Terezi did choose, and it seems appropriate that if she were going to use her power to reverse an action, it should be to reverse a choice that she made.

On the other hand... Vriska shows us that reasoning may not necessarily be sufficient, or redemptive - and indeed, while Terezi’s decision does repair things for just about everyone else... it doesn’t actually make things too much better for her in the end.

She spends a lot of time hedging throughout this conversation, using qualifiers like, Might, and I Think, and I Say - she wants to avoid directly contradicting Vriska, and there’s something deeply disconcerting about it.

Choosing not to kill Vriska may have spared her the burden of that on her conscience, but it ultimately doesn’t seem to have spared her confidence.

https://homestuck.com/story/7460

I’ve always felt like there’s an eeriness to the way the characters act here, and I feel like part of why they might feel so fake is they feel like they’ve almost kind of... reset to pre-Act 6 characterizations? The broad-strokes characterization we got from the Vriskagram leaves little for us to work with in terms of imagining their new inner lives, and because so much of Homestuck operates literally on the narrative layer, any development that we didn’t see didn’t happen; it’s completely inconsequential.

And with the characters all interacting in this no-stakes environment, they feel less like Homestuck characters, and uncomfortably more like Sitcom Characters - static, a set of self-referential character traits.

They’re still the same people - that’s the nature of the Ultimate Self - but they don’t feel like it. Or at the very least, they don’t feel like it while they’re on the Lilypad here.

Let’s see where we go.

https://homestuck.com/story/7480

John is weirdly amicable with Vriska considering the terms that they parted on the last time that they spoke - especially considering he overtly resisted the idea of giving Vriska the Ring of Life to bring her back from the dead.

Perhaps the rush at seeing all of his friends happy and alive is enough to wash that over.

https://homestuck.com/story/7487

A few things from this conversation;

The first thing is that in spite of immediately, loudly, and insistently proclaiming that he is now real as a motherfucker can be, Dave immediately starts qualifying, and explaining himself in verbal essay form the moment his own emotions are actually what’s being examined.

He directly identifies the idea of living up to an ideal of masculinity with the idea of heroism, so that’s points for my Caliborn essay, hah!

https://homestuck.com/story/7488

As predicted by Homosuck, Dave and Karkat’s relationship isn’t just turbulent, it’s anime turbulent! Hot and cold, tsundere even.

https://homestuck.com/story/7491

The parallel between Dave’s bicurious thoughts (and almost certain bisexuality) and John entertaining Black Emotions for Terezi is a weird way to do that, but I guess nobody ever accused Homestuck of being a normal work of fiction.

https://homestuck.com/story/7493

It’s nice for Rose to finally reach a place of some comfort in her storyline; a place where she can be rigorously self-critical without succumbing to pessimism and despair.

It’s nice. That’s all.

https://homestuck.com/story/7497

Jake also engaging in some rigorous self-critique, and what with his status as the Page of Hope, I don’t believe that in the long term, he will succumb to pessimism and despair either.

No sir - I think that whatever other somewhat bastardy things Jake may be, he is not, at the end of the day, a loser.

https://homestuck.com/story/7499

The great irony here, is we know of course that Vriska is wrong. Tavros is wrong too to just flatter Jake. He needs support; he needs help. He doesn’t need to give up either by falling prey to Vriska’s pessimism, or to Tavros’s false confidence.

https://homestuck.com/story/7500

I think it’s really interesting that what Vriska makes this all about is the fact that she blinded Terezi, and not that she crippled Tavros. There’s always been a degree to which, outside of her adversarial courtship with Tavros, she just doesn’t really treat him like a person - she treats him like an object of gratification, or a project, or collateral in her relationship with someone else, but never legitimately as a peer. The fact that she murdered Aradia and crippled Tavros doesn’t even factor into her self-estimation (especially now that she has resurrected Tavros as a sprite.)

https://homestuck.com/story/7501

Remarkably, Vriska actually has some good fucking advice for someone else for once. I don’t think that anyone should be comfortable with their flaws - what is legitimately a flaw is what estranges us from other people, causes us to hurt them, and ourselves. CERTAINLY no one should be as comfortable with them as Vriska is with herself.

But humans are all intrinsically flawed, it’s not something we can grow past, at least not in this life. Perfection is not something that can be attained to. But living with other human beings, being able to survive with them means being able to be comfortable now with our flaws, but with their flaws. I think that’s probably the meaning of forgiveness. Knowing that other people will hurt us, and deciding we can be down with that.

https://homestuck.com/story/7502

Roxy and Dave are adorable, enough said.

I like Dave’s description of his floppy imaginary men - comparing them to puppets, and the way he describes them railing against the confines of their virtual prison feels like a really obvious metaphor for exactly what the characters of Homestuck are busy doing.

https://homestuck.com/story/7504

I think someone - maybe even Andrew - has stated that the entire point of Rose’s quest is to alienate her from it. It’s like Baby’s First Character Arc - personal growth all wrapped up in bright pastels. Exactly the sort of thing that would piss off a challenge-seeking young lady like Rose.

The point of Rose’s rejection of her quest is that there are not arbitrary loops someone has to jump through in order to earn personhood. Or as Dave puts it in a moment, “we don’t have arcs.”

https://homestuck.com/story/7509

There’s an eerie extent to which, as friendly as she is with Vriska, Kanaya seems almost to talk about her as a dead woman walking. Even talk to her as a dead woman walking.

She has a certain emotional distance to her - fond of her, but not attached, even resigned to Vriska being the way she is. It’s like small-talk between people who used to know each other. I get the impression less that Kanaya is being friendly with Vriska, and more that... she’s being nice to each Vriska, rather than genuinely friendly.

Maybe it’s because she is moving forward into the future with people that she loves, while Vriska...

Vriska is living in the past; preoccupied with her own past misdeeds (to some extent or another), preoccupied with Lord English’s narrative, and her need to be the one who destroys him

https://homestuck.com/story/7513

It only occurred to me at this very moment  to talk about John and Jake’s shared love of terrible movies; and the way in which they both model themselves off of their movie heroes.

https://homestuck.com/story/7514

John’s warm positivity toward Jake is... honestly, one of the best things in the comic. I’m sad we don’t get to see more of Jake’s character arc, and I’ve always thought it was kind of a crime that Homestuck just leaves him here, more or less.

Reunion done, we’ll pause here for the night, and continue tomorrow. Fairly short episode tonight, but in terms of the amount of text, that was a lot of reading, so I forgive myself.

See you tomorrow for some strategizing, and some more problems and feelings.

For now, Cam signing off, Alive and thanks to you guys, not Alone.

#commentary #liveblogging

[thecottoncandyzombie]

7502 7514 7602

I need more Pokémon go friends. Please add me

#pokemon go #pokemon

[phoegifts-blog]

Gifts for Phoe

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01LW4BF45/ref=mp_s_a_1_13/163-1411532-5323907?ie=UTF8&qid=1488862311&sr=1-13&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_FMwebp_QLwcB https://www.choies.com/product/blue-pleated-skirt-mini-skater-skirt_p18465?gclid=CjwKEAiArvTFBRCLq5-7-MSJ0jMSJABHBvp0-eXorise69HLI32u52lq1iJcst4GetoR7lDXPHRCRhoC2Jrw_wcB https://www.arda-wigs.com/collections/long-wigs/products/luthien-silky?variant=27836079494 - Honey https://www.arda-wigs.com/collections/short-wigs/products/jaguar-classic?variant=27836286790 - cobalt blue https://www.arda-wigs.com/collections/short-wigs/products/hansel-classic?variant=27836265158 - fire orange and black https://www.arda-wigs.com/collections/medium-wigs/products/lucy http://www.cichic.com/black-plain-high-waisted-skater-straps-casual-suspender-skirt.html?gclid=CKTF3KzGxdICFZOKaQodlvUHoA http://m.hm.com/us/product/62125?article=62125-A&variant=005 - gray https://sunglass.la/products/high-pointed-vintage-mod-womens-fashion-cat-eye-sunglasses?CAWELAID=320011240000006000&CAGPSPN=pla&CAAGID=29490781230&CATCI=pla-174287220030&catargetid=320011240000012330&cadevice=m&gclid=CK3O67bHxdICFQqFaQodni4F-g&variant=1065253389 - black https://www.arda-wigs.com/products/venus-silky?variant=27836114054 - nutmeg http://www.welovefine.com/cashmerecollarbeesweater-8926.html - small http://www.welovefine.com/rainingpuppycats-8547.html - messenger bag with flap - black http://www.welovefine.com/puppycat-kigurumi-onzie-9685.html http://www.welovefine.com/puppycattalkingplush-7387.html http://www.welovefine.com/jellykid4-eva-8164.html - black - small http://www.welovefine.com/rebecca-8527.html - black - messenger bag with flap http://www.welovefine.com/catbugchenillepatchknittedsweater-7344.html - medium http://www.welovefine.com/all-womens/catbugcalm-5117.html - black - small http://www.welovefine.com/all-womens/no-1pal-6952.html - yellow - small http://www.welovefine.com/all-womens/forallcatkind-8774.html - black - small http://www.target.com/p/women-s-nasa-sweatshirt-mighty-fine/-/A-51341995 - medium http://www.welovefine.com/2017-homestuck-calendar-12957.html http://www.welovefine.com/all-womens/endure-7514.html - navy - small http://www.welovefine.com/all-womens/joelandellie-7502.html - white - small http://www.welovefine.com/illshivya-7653.html - white - small http://www.animeandgametees.com/view/480/dva-overwatch-t-shirt-meka-salt-rain-tee - black - small http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/201623631015?lpid=82&chn=ps&var=500865316288&ul_ref=http%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay.com%252Frover%252F1%252F711-117182-37290-0%252F2%253Fmtid%253D1588%2526kwid%253D1%2526crlp%253D183016357862_324272%2526itemid%253D201623631015%2526targetid%253D286717530445%2526rpc%253D0.10%2526rpc_upld_id%253D110674%2526device%253Dm%2526mpre%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ebay.com%25252Fulk%25252Fitm%25252Flike%25252F201623631015%25253Flpid%25253D82%252526chn%25253Dps%252526var%25253D500865316288%2526adtype%253Dpla%2526googleloc%253D9028890%2526poi%253D%2526campaignid%253D764892186%2526adgroupid%253D39783961149%2526rlsatarget%253Dpla-286717530445%2526gclid%253DCLacjpzdxdICFY61wAodvhYKmg%2526srcrot%253D711-117182-37290-0%2526rvr_id%253D1179224229450&ul_noapp=true - medium http://www.animeandgametees.com/view/488/mercy-overwatch-t-shirt-i-can-t-keep-calm-i-m-carrying-my-team - black - small http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/252793400262?lpid=82&chn=ps&ul_ref=http%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay.com%252Frover%252F1%252F711-117182-37290-0%252F2%253Fmtid%253D1588%2526kwid%253D1%2526crlp%253D53601919689_324272%2526itemid%253D252793400262%2526targetid%253D73951648147%2526rpc%253D0.06%2526rpc_upld_id%253D999%2526device%253Dm%2526mpre%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ebay.com%25252Fulk%25252Fitm%25252Flike%25252F252793400262%25253Flpid%25253D82%252526chn%25253Dps%2526adtype%253Dpla%2526googleloc%253D9028890%2526poi%253D%2526campaignid%253D239125209%2526adgroupid%253D14978428809%2526rlsatarget%253Dpla-73951648147%2526gclid%253DCLKJk9zexdICFYSGaQods58Klw%2526srcrot%253D711-117182-37290-0%2526rvr_id%253D1179238228006&ul_noapp=truer https://www.etsy.com/listing/490384998/polaroid-spectra-system-instant-film?utm_campaign=shopping_us_ForwardCameras_sfc_osa&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_custom1=0&utm_content=12289052&gclid=CPaRiNnexdICFQmGaQodD9QAng http://www.ebay.com/itm/like/322018186545?lpid=82&chn=ps&ul_ref=http%253A%252F%252Frover.ebay.com%252Frover%252F1%252F711-117182-37290-0%252F2%253Fmtid%253D1588%2526kwid%253D1%2526crlp%253D183016357862_324272%2526itemid%253D322018186545%2526targetid%253D286063320400%2526rpc%253D0.11%2526rpc_upld_id%253D109497%2526device%253Dm%2526mpre%253Dhttp%25253A%25252F%25252Fwww.ebay.com%25252Fulk%25252Fitm%25252Flike%25252F322018186545%25253Flpid%25253D82%252526chn%25253Dps%2526adtype%253Dpla%2526googleloc%253D9028890%2526poi%253D%2526campaignid%253D764892186%2526adgroupid%253D39783961149%2526rlsatarget%253Dpla-286063320400%2526gclid%253DCMWR7KHfxdICFQQwaQod0ooIKA%2526srcrot%253D711-117182-37290-0%2526rvr_id%253D1179203743345&ul_noapp=true http://m.ebay.com/itm/191992658023?_trkparms=aid=222007&algo=SIC.MBE&ao=1&asc=20161006002618&meid=8ba2858efd4041c08fb6aa2cc8bb8d34&pid=100694&rk=3&rkt=16&sd=400498916646&_trksid=p2385738.c100694.m4598&_mwBanner=1 https://www.fleetfarm.com/detail/gildan-misses__full-zip_hooded_sweatshirt_-_sport_gray/0000000085486?utm_source=googleps&utm_medium=shopping%2Bsearch&utm_campaign=google%2Bproduct%20search&gslfah&gclid=CKSa0qDgxdICFc26wAodJyYCBA - medium https://www.redbubble.com/people/yanki/works/20304454-max-caulfield-doe?body_color=white&p=t-shirt&print_location=front&size=medium&style=womens&utm_source=google&utm_medium=google_products&utm_campaign=shopping&country_code=US&gclid=CK-upcfgxdICFQO5wAod_my pt - white - small (medium works if small is out) https://www.redbubble.com/people/mesmeromania/works/16067982-max-caulfield-shirt-jane-doe?p=t-shirt&style=womens&body_color=berry&size=small&print_location=Fronts - pink - small (medium works if small is out) That's it for now sorry if you decided to look at all of these

[mean-scarlet-deceiver]

just some further thoughts on the potential of boco fic (2.5/4)

My upcoming Traintober snippet for “Lonely” requires some background, maybe? *offers shiny pics below to compensate*  

From 1958-59 (manufacture) to 1961 (withdrawal for remedial work), the Metrovick CoBo 28s worked the ten-hour overnight Condor Express freight train from London to Glasgow.

Ben Brooksbank photo of two CoBo 28s multiple-uniting a passenger train on the Sheffield main line. (This was post-Condor days, but they also ran the Condor two at a time, so. Still #relevant.)

But you want more relevance? Fine. Here’s noted oil painting “Night Freight” by Terence Tenison Cuneo, featuring a CoBo (notice the “CONDOR” headstamp as well as a second CoBo unit behind) passing a Black Five and set in the year 1960.

(In case you weren’t getting enough TTTE-related excitement, that shunting diesel on the right looks convincingly like a Class 08 to *me*...)

The Condor was a cool, romantic job that was remarkably well-suited to the 28s, even down to the fact that the long runs and minimal stops put the least possible strain on their weak Crossley motors.

After being recalled to their Metropolitan-Vickers shop for some not-wildly-successful remedial care, the CoBos remained stuck at Barrow depot for the rest of their not-very-extensive days and worked local passenger trains.

This background definitely makes me view with a fresh eye @princeluckybug13​‘s discovery in the magazine stories that BoCo does not care for passenger work.

Anyway. In the course of sketching out some Condor adventures, I developed one of BoCo’s brothers, D7514, with whom D7502 is almost always paired during these years. 7514 is rather more impatient and salty than 7502, whereas 7502 is more protective and the “face” of the operation whenever they have their guard up... but both of them get very cross when you ever suggest that there is any distinction between them. They all very much wish to be treated like the inseparable unit with interchangeable parts that they basically are at this time. (Thanks to “multiple unit working,” Oh-Two and Fourteen even share the same driver.)

(D7514 is not the other future survivor of the class, btw—that’s D7505, who historically became a test engine for the Research Division, then a “carriage warmer”—which, don’t ask me, I haven’t figured out exactly how that works yet, though it comes up in my research quite a bit—then wound up preserved and leased to the East Lancashire Railway, where it works to this day. Frankly, I like to think BoCo has been absent from the TV show for a while because he’s gone to the East Lanc on a visit. <3)

Another OC I’ve created for this period is an “ancient” (BoCo’s standards for what makes an engine "ancient” will later radically change, but at this point a poorly-maintained forty-one-years-old definitely fits the bill) raspy-voiced Mogul-style steam engine (either a Gresley K2 or K3, haven’t quite decided yet) whom everyone calls Crow.

One of the few remaining ex-LNER K2s working freight in 1960. 

After several months’ acquaintance:

“Have you—been—female?”  

Crow sounded a (well) crow on his—her—whistle.  

“All along, hummingbird. Ay, you go without having your smokebox cleaned out proper ’s’long as I have, and we’ll see how dainty you sound, right?”

She marshals the yard at the London end of the Condor (the proto version of which she used to help run) and serves as a bit of a sharp-tongued asshole mentor for the baby CoBos. (“Hummingbird” or “hummer” refers to their constantly-running motors, and is probably the absolute nicest thing she calls them.)

During the course of this final night together, she will reveal that these two Metrovicks have been her favorite engines during her entire fifteen years stuck at their depot as “yard drudge,” which leads them to the reasonable question of “... if we’ve been your favorites, how have you treated the others?”

“Look, I never said I was proud of turning into such a bitter hateful sod, did I? Now stuff it up your brakepipe, Fourteen.”

... I have a type for OCs. Don’t I.

#real true railway stuff #ttte oc #ttte boco