#...because it minimized the fact that i was (am) fucking insane and unwell and ill and debilitated...

[uncanny-tranny]

I think it's only natural to feel anger when somebody isn't "taking your advice" or listening to you about their mental health or what will help them. People want to help people, and the anger comes when you are perceiving somebody as not being receptive but...

It can be a selfish impulse to say that your opinion about their illness is the only thing they need. It isn't about you, even though the advice you give is given by you.

Nobody deserves to suffer, this is true. But, also, nobody deserves to be forced to do things that either won't help or won't be genuine. If somebody isn't taking your advice, there's a reason for it (maybe it's not a good enough reason for you, but this isn't the point). It's okay to be disappointed or angry, but it's not going to help to lash out at them. That is only pouring water onto a grease fire.

#mental health #mental health advocacy #sometimes you DO need to freefall without a parachute. sometimes the 'just get better! ☺️' mindset that's given to us will slowly kill us #the whole 'if you take my advice you'll be free from your illness 😇' saviour complex is honestly something that would have killed me #because it wasn't coming from a place of genuinely helpfulness or what would work for *me*... #...those pieces of advice came from the mindset of how to make everybody else comfortable... #...because it minimized the fact that i was (am) fucking insane and unwell and ill and debilitated... #...the advice came across as sinister because it wasn't about me despite addressing my insanity. it was ABOUT everybody else #and i just got done watching a heartbreaking video about somebody else's decline and i don't want them to suffer... #...but i also don't want to be the cause OF their suffering. my advice for them would be unhelpful i think... #...so i am still heartbroken and sad and maybe angry but that... isn't their fault. they are SUFFERING and VISIBLY so... #...i want their suffering to end in any way that will actually help *them* and not my ego y'know...

[goremet-chef]

just found someone who makes monster hunter lego builds do NOT speak to me im. this. GRGRGRG

anyways heres some gifs i have of monsters cuz im in love with this series forever and always (super long ramble SFJKS ive been writing this for hours)

odogaron + ebony odo is like.... you dont understand. thats me i kin so many monsters from MH its insane like.. thats literally me nothing reflects me better LOOK AT THEM. rathalos, odogaron, nargacuga like any red scary thing i resonate with deep in my soul its insane

this one is one of my headmates favorites. shrieking legi really came thru when he was having a bad time and i love this for him. ITS JUST LIKE... so many of the monsters resonate with us on such personal levels, that its hard to even explain. i am selfish, and i do view monster hunter as my game (got that autism special) like these are my creatures they were made for me

REAL TALK THO, these two were genuinely actually made for me look at this shit

unknown (black flying wyvern) and valstrax my beloveds. fucking god tier

the fact that i already resonate with the rathalos so hard, and it turns out theres a black and red edgier cool version of it/????like are you insane when i discovered this thing i was. SO UNWELL IN MY CHANNEL ON DISCORD i literally rambled about it for AN HOUR STRAIGHT. then when i found out about valstrax i rambled about that one for an hour too SKFJS like wow they are so cool. autism is real

also have this one, xeno'jiiva is so. MHW was my first MH game (say what you will) and god damn. im gonna be real idk if id be so into it if it wasnt for MHW, cuz like.... the main appeal of the entire game series to me is the monsters themselves. like im. when i first started i was TOO SCARED TO FIGHT THE GREAT JAGRAS (yknow. the first large monster you fight 😭😭 like the 3rd quest. insane) because ive never been into fighting games and having something large PURSUE ME didnt sound pleasant

crazy that i went from being too scared to play it again to LITERALLY playing for 72 hours almost STRAIGHT with minimal pee and sleep breaks, and giving myself carpal fucking tunnel cuz i was just. obsessed. AUTISM IS REAL

went from couldnt stand 10 minutes of it to 400 hours in game SKFJSD

and i would do it again bitch!!!

so what im SAYING. alright. is that im not a fighter in games (well NOW i am, but before i super wasnt) but what drew me in was how i could just.. watch. how i could see all the big scary monsters sleep and eat and walk around and fight eachother. how i could get their tracks, listen to their sounds, ETC. like it was so. IT WAS THRILLING and ive never been more in love

like for context my first special interest is fnaf and i wouldnt be anything like myself if i never got into fnaf like life changing shit. but i gotta say, i mean. ive played the fnaf games and i love the story and EVERYTHING this is not a diss on my first home!!!! but i played MHW to the point of exhaustion, to where i needed to have an arm brace and even then despite the HORRIBLE PAIN in my wrist, i still kept playing

i played so much i literally managed to rub the s and w letters of my siblings keyboard KSJFSF like it was for real. i miss that, like a lot. i dont play as much anymore because i mean. i have it on my laptop. my laptop is a gaming laptop and it can run!! but its better for my

yknow i dont think i have an actual reason and im literally about to cry thinking about it SKFSFJ the good computer with the good graphics and running is my siblings and id need permission, yknow how it is. PLUS im a bit stuck? i need an urugaan ruby for my barioth mission lmao but ill get there

monster hunter world is so beautiful. the environments are fucking stunning, the visual upgrade for the monsters was INSANE and just watching them be animals? it brings me so much joy KSJSJSJ

one of my favorites is the rotten vale, which is funny cuz i remember the first time i ever went there i was so. PARANOID. i use sound with pretty much everything i play since my eyes might not track everything thats happening, so hearing the ambience for the vale freaked me out so much, i stayedat the camp for SO LONG and good thing too cuz the radobaan makes its way down that path and i was shook SKFJSF

also the big fucking dalamadur skeleton in the vale is so. UGHHHH

i love horror and rot and decay!!! its frightening its unsettling but even still the vale is such a necessary part of the ecosystem!!! like wow monsters come there to DIE? are youINSANE

(dalamadur is like one of the biggest monsters for reference. the whole upper part of the vale is made of its skeleton cuz its a big snake its so UGHHH)

also the???? STOMACH ACID POOL?

they were cooking bro,,,,, such a gorgeous and unsettling environment goddd

like GOD i cant think of anything better, the story for MHW is so good man. the tracker said "its an ecological marvel" and i took that personally (i repeat that so much about random shit its not even funny how long ive been doing that for)

or how like... any of the docile monsters (tobi kadachi, banbaro, kulu ya ku, ETC) i genuinely if i go on expedition, and i see theres a docile monster in one of the locales, ill go there and just follow them around the ENTIRE TIME SFKSFS

heres SEVERAL pics of me with banbaros at different times KSJFS

that isnt even all of them with JUST banbaro 💀💀💀 its my favorite activity

and sometimes i get hit with the banbaro / nightshade paolumu / coral pukei combo!!!! thats a triple docile whammy!!!!! thriving

also heres a cute viper tobi shot :] love viper tobi

also also i cant believe i never said anything yet but VAAL HAZAK??? my actual liege look at this mf

MY LORD!!! vaal is so fucking cool man. and the KICKER??? DOCILE

whenever i do this quest i do just follow it around for a while (which. ive had to do this quest A LOT cuz i thought i get vitality crystals from it (yknow cuz i got some from it) so i have probably 100% killed more vaal hazak than any of the other elder dragons SKFJSF

vaal hazak is so cool cuz its covered in rotten meat and uses the effluvium (corpse gas) as its like. life source. it pulls excess effluvium from the vale into itself and expels it when theres not enough, so its keeping the ecosystem tame its so cool UGHH

also one of its moves it plays dead its so fucked up itll fall over like you've knocked it over and then just lay there but you hear its inhale and it looks up and BLASTS YOU with its effluvia gas beam (WHICH. THAT THING HURTS!!!!!! for real the effluvium attack is so. plus it also halves yr health? like if vaal hits you with that shit itll give you miasma or whatever and it HALFS YR HEALTH BAR and you gotta eat a nulberry to negate it

im not one for switching shit around in my like item bar tho (MAINLY cuz most the time ive played MHW was with my siblings mouse and its scroll bare was broken so swapping items was hard) so i just put on like 3 effluvia resistance gems and it cant give me miasma. problem solved SKFSJF

i did get so tired of fighting it cuz yknw its a hard fight its an elder dragon, but i will say like the MUSIC? thats one of the things like. when we fought megan in the forest, they gave us battle music and THAT is why i kicked ass and abandoned all my fear, monster hunter instincts kicked in and i tanked alright like it was NOTHING, battle music just hits different

vaal hazak theme is so fucking good!!!! "keeper of hades" ARE YOU INSANE? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND????? i cant believe this shit!!!!!!!!

monster hunter stop being the coolest franchise ever challenge KSFJSF

i did do vaal hazak fight with no music before cuz i was trying to see and. THE MUSIC DOES SO MUCH? literally there was like no adrenaline without the music it was just. :| oh. im in the vale. thats the dragon. hes gonna breath attack. okay LIKE IT WAS SO LACK LUSTER IT WAS INSANE

i never realized how much the music did for fights but its so.. vital bro like it gets you in the fighting mood it compliments the monster and the area its !!!GRAAAAHHHH

monster hunter soundtrack is literally so fucking good. BANGERS back to back literally every song is so fucking cracked its epic

dont even get me STARTED on "proof of a hero" that song makes me stim so fucking hard man it makes me feel so fucking good. my sibling made his ringtone for me that song and AUGHHH crying sobbing

like yeah this is proof that im a hero!!! literally makes me feel so proud and FOR WHATTTT

idk im such a firm believer in the importance of sound design, sound design is EVERYTHINGGG and MH does such a good job with that shit, the monster roars and environmental ambience, audio cues to what attack is gonna happen, the music its all. perfect 10/10 godtier shit

anyways this is my monster hunter ramble, it most likely will happen again. love this game with all my heart

#monster hunter #MHW #MH #monster hunter world #another love letter to this game #even tho ive written like 50 things like this in other places #JUST AS LONG TOO SFKJSF #Youtube