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smilingformoney · 5 years

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America’s Most Eligible 2 Diamond Scene: Party with Your Friends

Adam: Hell yeah. Let’s get out of here.

After a quick stop in the kitchen to raid the fridge for champagne, soda, and snacks, you all sneak up to the roof with your loot. Derek: Hurry up and pop that cork, Adam. Mackenzie: Yeah, we don’t have all night! Adam: What happened to ‘patience is a virute’? You: We’ve earned the right to be a little impatient. This has certainly been an… interesting season. Jen: You can say that again. Adam: Still, we’ve all taken something good away from this whole experience. I finally got closure. Mackenzie: I made a difference. Derek: I stepped out of my comfort zone. You: And I… have a great idea. Remember the first night we spent together this season? When we played truth, dare, drink, or strip? Jen: I wasn’t involved in that. Adam: Now’s your chance to be. Truth, dare, drink, or strip? Jen: Oh, why not? I choose truth. Mackenzie: This is gonna be good. What should we ask?

You: Let’s see… -If you couldn’t work in TV, what job would you have had instead?

Jen: Oh, wow. That’s a tough one. I’ve wanted to work in TV since I was in junior high. You: What about before that? Jen: When I was really little, I did want to be a flight attendant. It seemed like such a glamorous job. Jen: Mostly because I thought the job was just handing out free snacks while wearing a fancy uniform. Adam: When you put it that way, it sounds like the dream. Jen: Not quite. At least here, if I have a bad day I can walk off the set and take a breather. Couldn’t do that on a plane!

-What’s the wildest thing to happen behind the scenes of AME?

Jen: The wildest? Oh, I have just the story. In season 6, we had a Challenge that took place at Zoo Miami. Derek: I remember that one! It was a scavenger hunt with animal-based clues. Jen: After the Challenge was over, I realised I’d forgotten some equipment in the Amphibian Exhibit and went back to get it… Jen: And caught one of the contestants licking all the frogs! Mackenzie: What the hell? Adam: Why? Jen: Let’s just say they were… misinformed about the psychotropic nature of frog skin.

-Tell us something weird about Carson.

Jen: Did you know he’s a classically trained harpist? I once overheard him asking Piper to let him play on the show. Mackenzie: Okay, that’s surprising, but that’s not really weird. Jen: Hmmm, okay. He also thought Alaska was a Canadian province until, like, last year. Jen: And then there’s the time he slept in an unplugged tanning bed for six months after someone sold it to him as a hyperbaric chamber. You: Wait, what? Jen: And you’d be surprised where that hair of his really comes from… but I think I’ve already said too much.

Adam: If it’s my turn, I’m ready to go. How about a dare to really get the party going? Mackenzie: You’re on. I dare you… to shoot a double whiskey! Adam: Don’t mind if I do. Mackenzie pours the drink for Adam and everyone cheers when he tips it back! You: Better slow your roll. We wouldn’t want you to fall off the stage later. Adam: If I do, it’ll be worth it. That was damn good whiskey! Jen: It’s your turn now, Jamie. Truth, dare, drink, or strip? Derek: I’ve got a great idea for a dare. Mackenzie: I don’t know… I think it’s time for the Girl/Boy Next Door to bare it all! Jen: Metaphorically! I have a question I’d like Jamie’s take on. Adam: Don’t forget, Jamie. You can always drink, instead. You: Let’s see…

What do you do? -Do a dare!

Derek: Now you’re speaking my language. I dare you… to jump up and down on one leg, singing the AME theme song! You: Challenge accepted. This’ll be the best thing you see all week. You clear your throat and stand on one leg… And start jumping, flapping your arms like a bird for good measure! You: Laaaa la la la, lalalala la, la LA, la LAAA! Derek: Beautiful! Encore! You laugh and take a bow. You: Thank you. I’ll be here all night!

-Perform a striptease!

You: Well, I can’t deny giving my adoring public what it wants… You step onto the table, dancing to imaginary music and running your hands down your body… Adam: Woooo, Jamie! With a wink, you slowly slide your outfit off your frame… and strike a flirtatious pose! The group cheers and whistles. Mackenzie: Now that’s what I’m talking about! She high-fives you as you step down from the table and shimmy back into your clothes. You: Hope you all enjoyed the show.

-Tell the truth!

Jen: Okay… What’s the biggest thing you’ve learned about yourself after surviving another season? You: I mean, I suspected how awesome and talented and devastatingly attractive I was when I made it to the finals last year… You: But now I’m certain. Mackenzie: Your humility is an example to us all.

-Drink!

Adam: A woman after my own heart. He pours a drink for you and hands you the glass with a wink. You: Bottoms up! You raise your glass to the others in a mock toast… then down the drink in one go! Adam: Damn. You’re really putting me to shame, Jamie. You: You know what they say. Go big or go home!

Derek: So who’s next, Jamie? You: Are you volunteering? Derek: Hell yeah. Let’s go with truth. You: How about… you stand on the table and make a heartfelt declaration? Derek laughs and climbs into the patio table. He stretches his arms out over the city. Derek: Easy. The truth is… Jamie’s the best damn Girl/Boy Next Door ever! You: Aw, Derek. I’m loving the positivity. Adam: Loving the pandering too. Mackenzie: Is it my turn yet? We’ve had a lot of truth tonight, so I think we need another dare to really get things going. You: Dare it is. Getting up out of your chair, you head over to the balcony. Your friends follow. Looking down, you can see the patio below, where Omar and Carson are still discussing the episode while the crew adjusts the equipment. You nudge Mackenzie. You: Okay, let’s see what you got.

You: I dare you to… -Throw a cupcake at Omar!

Mackenzie: And waste a good cupcake? Adam: Backing out already? Tsk, tsk. Mackenzie: Like hell I am. Jen: While I can’t officially condone any of this… If you have to throw one, throw a red velvet one. Mackenzie snatches a cupcake from the tray and lobs it off the balcony at Omar. Everyone drops into a crouch when it lands with a splat. Omar: What the hell?! WHO THREW THAT? Derek: Nice shot. Omar: Whoever you are, you’re lucky I like red velvet or you’d be in a lot more trouble! Carson: Uh, can I leave? I can’t be in 100 feet of carbs or else I’m cheating on my Keto diet. Omar: For the last time, that is not how Keto works…

-Troll Carson!

Mackenzie: With pleasure. Mackenzie cups her hands around her mouth and shouts down to the patio below. Mackenzie: HEY CARSON! Mackenzie: I CAN SEE YOUR BALD SPOT FROM UP HERE… Everyone drops into a crouch, and you hear a panicked squawk. Carson: What bald spot? Where? WHERE? Omar, I need ot call my follicular therapist right now! Omar: Don’t be so dramatic, your hair looks fine. Carson: I didn’t spend fifty grand on black market lion DNA for my hair to look fine! If the injections didn’t take, my mane’s in danger! Mackenzie: Wait, did he say lion DNA?

Everyone bursts out laughing. You: I don’t know about the rest of you, but I really needed this. One last party with the best friends we’ve made along the way. Adam: Cheers to that… and to the person who brought our ragtag group together… You all raise your glasses in one final toast. Jen sighs happily, then gets to her feet. Jen: I don’t know how much longer the Jury has, but I think we better get back before you’re missed. You: Guess it’s time to face the music. Everyone packs up the food and drink and follows Jen back into the mansion.

#playchoices #choices stories you play #choices ame #choices america’s most eligible #america's most eligible

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applegelstore · 6 years

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Fic: The Magic Flute, Violin, Viola, and Clarinet

Tales of Zestira, Gen

(what else)

Summary:

Little Rose makes friends with some other kids in the orchestra. She then proceeds to incorporate her new friends into her business plans.

AO3 Link here!

Or hit the cut to read on tumblr!

Hey look it has pictures. If you’re ONLY here for those, check out the post with the isolated pictures! (also because tumblr fucks up pictures within posts)

CREDITS:

@jadeluminescence wrote a few lines; namely, she fueled me on tumblr with ideas for the weird magical girl powers that little Sorey comes up with; I really wanted to include her ideas because it warmed my ice cold heart with warm and fuzzy feelings to see somebody else adding to my ideas on their own volition.

@pengiesama was so infinitely kind and beta’d for me to make my sentences 100% better readable. All remaining mistakes and bad decisions are my own. She also wrote me two one-shots from that same universe earlier, so if you enjoyed this, I highly recommend you check out her take on the theme! Here’s the AO3 Links: One Two

Rose was about nine-something years old when she met Sorey and Mikleo. They played in the same junior orchestra that she recently got into, and soon they’d go to the same school together in Marlind, so it was in everyone’s best interest that they’d get along. It was additionally in Rose’s best interest to get along with Alisha.

Alisha Diphda was the latest addition to the junior orchestra, and clearly needed Rose’s guidance. What else would you expect from the illegitimate daughter of some filthy rich dude of old noble ancestry? She’d been raised in some big fancy mansion and, up until recently, had been homeschooled by private tutors. She was very lost in this world, and Rose was the one who would have to teach her social skills. But that was okay – Rose had already planned to sit behind her in every class so she could drop frogs down her blouse, as needed. She’d simply draft up some paperwork to take her share of the Diphda family’s business as compensation for her hard work.

It aligned with Rose’s business plans that neither Alisha nor the boys were particularly hard to get along with, and they seemed to share her ambitious plans for the junior orchestra (such as playing with the adults some day, and patiently explaining to them that it was very cool to play the opening song from your favourite show on your clarinet even though you were supposed to practice that Mozart piece whose name you forgot because usually they were all just named “etude in G major” or whatever.)

However, despite the easy familiarity, the boys were profoundly weird. They were both able to remember with terrifying accuracy which piece was part of which opera, or oratorio, or symphony, and which composer had written the particular “etude in G major” that they were currently playing. Sorey didn’t really mind if you pointed that out to him – he would just grin at you, and continue to blabber about what you had previously pointed out as weird. Mikleo did mind it, but he brought it upon himself, really. It was one thing, and plainly a fact, that some people needed glasses – but it was another thing to wear blue-rimmed fat spectacles that covered almost half his face, screamed “I sit in the first row at school,” and looked like they were pulled straight out of a cartoon.

Alisha was. Well. Alisha.

They had gathered at Mikleo’s house in the (terribly tiny and irritatingly quiet) town of Camlann to practice their parts for their first orchestra performance together – mostly because they were out of other options. Sorey’s house was next door, but his parents were basically never at home, and he might as well have lived with Mikleo and his mum. Rose was an orphan and lived in a crowded little place with a friend of her late father and various members of his rock band. In the same house lived Dezel, whom she valued as the only person who could counter her throwing kazoos – as every good adoptive big brother should be able to do. However, there was no way Alisha’s father would allow her to come to a place like that, so it wasn’t even worth discussing.

The downside of Mikleo’s place was that it was Sunday, and they never really got much practice done there on Sundays. Sundays meant that Uncle Michael was at home.

(Uncle Michael was, of course, only Mikleo’s uncle – but since Mikleo shared basically everything with Sorey, why shouldn’t they share Uncle Michael as well? This was why Rose only ever heard of him as “Uncle Michael”. The first time she had come to visit, Michael brought a tiny reconstruction of an ancient hydraulic organ. The boys had been so fascinated with it that they wouldn’t do anything unless it involved the organ. She had to admit that it had been fun to play with the pipes, and to see what happens if you blow into them, and to annoy Mikleo because “that’s not how you play an organ”. Sometimes Mikleo’s mum would come in, smile at everyone, bring them waffles with whipped cream and maple syrup, ruffle Michael’s hair, and leave again. All of this without anyone batting an eye or making a comment.)

Michael burst into the living room and yelled: “I brought new samples!”

Sorey and Mikleo visibly lit up, and promptly dropped their instruments, so apparently this particular scenario of Uncle Michael bringing home “samples” took place on a regular basis and needed no further explanation. The “samples” were a whole assortment of smaller items, presumably more reconstructions of ancient instruments, and a big one wrapped in cloth that made it look like a tube.

Michael arranged the smaller ones on the floor for the children to see. Rose really liked the ancient harp because it was made of bones and a turtle’s shell. Alisha, however, was clearly disgusted. She idly plucked the strings on the wooden lyre, though.

Another item looked like a fly swatter without a net, except it had interesting metal pins stuck through its sides. They looked like spoons, but Rose figured they would still make decent spikes if need be. She gripped one of them between two fingers, but was stopped in her tracks.

“I think you’re supposed to rattle it,” Sorey whispered.

Rose shot him a glare. She fully expected some weird curse to fall upon them when they used the rattle, or a dragon to fall from the skies and eat them up for breakfast. She greatly preferred the latter option because she disliked ghost stories and disapproved of curses that were laid upon her without her being able to physically touch and punch the culprit.

“Rose, you also play winds, don’t you? This one should be more to your liking,” Michael said and unwrapped the big package.

It looked like a wooden cannon, and had white and red animals painted on the outside, which Sorey and Mikleo clearly appreciated if Sorey’s little squeals of delight were anything to go by. Rose expected him to start discussing which cave painting this reminded him of.

“It’s called a didgeridoo,” Michael announced and gestured the children to sit still, watch and listen. “They’re still used in folk music in Zaphgott Moor, so this is a new one, fresh from the man who built it. But they’ve been in use for at least three thousand years. I’ve been thinking about investigating their relation to the woodwinds used in Hyland at that time.”

“What does it sound like?” Mikleo asked.

Michael brought the mouthpiece to his lips and blew into it to demonstrate. The didgeridoo made a deep, deep humming noise that sounded distinctively different from any instrument used in a modern orchestra. It piqued Rose’s interest for being exotic, and potentially exploitable. If all else failed, she could surely just drop it on people’s heads if she didn’t like their opinions.

Alisha and the boys stared at Michael with wide eyes. Rose could have sworn there were sparkles in them.

“Who wants to try?” Michael asked them and handed over the didgeridoo.

Mikleo sat in the middle, so he stretched out his hands to take it. It wasn’t as heavy as it looked, but it was unwieldy. This didn’t keep the other kids from clinging to his back and shoulders. Rose peeked into the mouthpiece to check for any curses or dragons.

“Don’t lean on me,” Mikleo complained, which earned him a pout from Sorey that he didn’t see. “I wanna try this and you’re in the way.”

The didgeridoo was bigger than any of the kids were tall, so Mikleo opted to stand on the sofa to blow into it. The sound it made wasn’t exactly what any of the children expected. Because it didn’t sound anything like what Michael had just done with it, and instead sounded more like what happens when you pout and then blow through your closed lips. Except with a loud echo.

It wasn’t what Mikleo expected to come out of the things he usually blew into at all, and he backed away from the instrument with a slightly disgusted face. Sorey fell over and rolled with laughter.

“I’m still figuring this out,” Mikleo grumbled.

“See how big it is and how large the mouthpiece is designed?” Michael explained with admirable patience. He wasn’t usually patient enough to deal with anyone (child or not) who couldn’t immediately follow his university-level lectures on additive rhythm in music composed during the Temperance of Avarost. People had reported first-semester students leaving with headaches. Luckily, he had more empathy for a lack of air in a tiny boy’s lungs. “There’s no way you could make high-pitched sounds with this like you would with a C-tuned standard Hyland concert flute. It also means you can’t purse your lips the same way you do with your flute. See?”

Mikleo nodded in understanding.

Rose nodded in a different kind of understanding. She drew Sorey and Alisha close and mumbled low: “Do you think the people in Zaphgott Moor would pay good money to see their traditional giant music cannon thingy on a big stage?”

“There should be a movie with those!” Sorey decided. “A musical! To show how the magic in the instruments works.” He waved his hands around to explain. Which didn’t help at all, but he wasn’t bothered by such trivialities.

“Magic?” Alisha piped up.

“Yep! Like, the didgeridoo would be used as a cannon in ancient days. It’s the heroes’ secret weapon which can only be used if they all combine their magic powers into one to create the force of void!”

Rose didn’t dare to ask which powers, but luckily (or unfortunately?) Alisha did it for her. Even Mikleo let the didgeridoo be for a second and turned back to them with one eyebrow raised in curiosity.

“So, imagine if we could all summon magic with the songs we play? Like the heroes in the ancient myths?” Sorey babbled on. “You know what happens if you wear one of these cheap sweaters and then rub Oysh’s fur and get an electric shock? Imagine if I could send shocks like these from my violin strings!”

“What’s my power then?” Mikleo inquired.

“How about you can control the flow of water if you play your flute? And when you play staccatos, the water freezes!”

“And what does the piano do?”

“That one can make the water dance! The louder you play, the bigger the drops!”

This was going into a direction Rose could get behind. “Well, what’s my ability?” she asked.

“Rose, you can… uuuuuh, shoot knives out of your clarinet.”

Rose narrowed her eyes. “That’s not magic.”

“It would totally be magic if you could fit knives into a clarinet’s mouthpiece,” Michael pointed out, but he was ignored.

“I’m still thinking!” Sorey retorted. “Alisha can make magical sound waves!”

Mikleo raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t we just establish that we all have magical sound waves? You should make up your mind how the song magic works before you assign any powers to us.”

“You wanted me to make up powers for you!”

“Excuse me for assuming you had thought ahead then. I should have known better.”

Sorey opted to tackle him and throw him off the sofa to tickle him. The resulting scene resembled kittens at play – always going for the necks but miraculously always being left unharmed in the process. Alisha looked down at them in shock. Clearly she had never been in a good old pillow fight brawl. Rose had so much yet to teach her.

Michael silently gathered his “samples” to get them out of the way of harm, so all of this was presumably normal. He waited until both boys were out of breath from laughter and leaned their backs on the sofa. Michael crouched down in front of them and tousled Sorey’s hair. Mikleo was already busy fixing his own (and his glasses).

“So, to get back to the topic. What’s your expert opinion? How’s the tuning?”

“The flutes all sound weird. Like half a note off,“ Mikleo mumbled.

“More like three quarters,” Sorey added. “The lyres were also three quarters. All of them.”

“I liked the sistrum,” Rose chirped.

“Well, they’re modeled after instruments used roughly two thousand years and some ago, so naturally they must be tuned differently than your modern standard Hyland concert tuned instruments. Thank you, guys. I knew I could count on you.”

He left the children alone to play. Or to continue practicing; whatever they’d fancy. Except Sorey couldn’t concentrate for the life of him. He picked up his violin and glanced down at it with longing.

Sorey usually only looked that sad when you tried to take Mikleo-time away from him for some reason. And making Sorey sad was very much like kicking a puppy. Rose would never kick a puppy, even if Dezel wasn’t there to scold anyone who’d dare, but she just knew that she wouldn’t be able to bear the guilt of doing it. It was the same with trying to imagine making Sorey sad on purpose. You just didn’t do it. There were evil people, and there were people so wicked to the bone that they kicked puppies and made Sorey sad. She would never be one of them. She was a good girl, after all. She understood the gravity of the whole situation.

“You know… it would really be cool if we could summon magic with our music. We could make it rain if it’s too dry in the summer, or summon wind to make the old windmill run, and save kittens from trees,” Sorey mused.

Mikleo wiggled close to him again and silently guided him to lay his head on his shoulder. Sorey accepted with a dramatic sigh. There was a minute of silence.

“I would love to know how you save kittens from trees with music,” Alisha eventually offered.

Cute, but Alisha still wasn’t seeing the full potential of things.

“I would love to see you show a bit more business sense!” Rose scolded. “It would make a great show, don’t you think? Captain Sorey and his merry music friends saving the world with the power of music! Every week! But we still have to add some murder and mystery and a giant space monster who was banished from the realm of giant space monsters to earth as punishment for enraging the queen of the elves, otherwise it’s boring.”

Sorey beamed. “I don’t know about a show, but we could make it an opera! Then we can make Lailah sing the part of the queen of the elves.”

Rose nodded gravely and laid a hand on his shoulder. “Leave it to Rose Sparrowfeather. She’s got big plans. If she’s to stay in this orchestra, she’s gonna make it big. I’m gonna give your old Gramps a hint that it would be a cool birthday present.”

It took a little longer than little Rose would have anticipated. More than eight years.

But now, she was finally basking in the feeling of seeing the final product of her production on stage. It was surprisingly high quality for an opera whose plot was the product of a nine-year-old’s vivid imagination, and which dealt with a bunch of kids saving the world from evil forces with the power of music and also friendship. It had been a bit of a challenge, since Zenrus’ orchestra was a bit peculiar. It wasn’t a full in-house orchestra with contract-bound musicians and a choir; it was a hobbyist orchestra. A good hobbyist orchestra, mind you. You had to audition to get in. But you were not bound to stay, and you weren’t paid either. People moved. People got new jobs. People lost interest. And Zenrus was only a good natured professor emeritus who didn’t want to fully retire yet, and he had little funds to compensate his people for what they were doing. Ticket sales went to an allowance for special expenditures. Many of the people stayed for years (Sorey and Mikleo had pretty much been born into it. It was probably okay that they had had little say in the matter as infants because they never complained). It was great, in a way. It was refreshing, and welcoming, because you got to know many different people who all actually wanted to be there.

It was fun, but it wasn’t ambitious enough yet to support the dreams of a bunch of nine- or ten-year-olds.

Zenrus had insisted on writing the music himself – anything for little Sorey (Nevermind Sorey was no longer little.) That was the easy part. The part that actually took Rose eight years was growing up, and letting her ambitions grow alongside her.

She procured a loan from a source she didn’t tell anybody about to get some top-notch solo singers. The light show was a sight to behold. Milla had offered to provide some special effects for the magic music that the protagonists would be producing, but Zenrus had gently but insistently argued against real fire on stage, or a landslide. But he granted that a bit of rain and wind wouldn’t hurt, as long as the orchestra wasn’t in range to get watered like a bunch of flowers, or have their sheet music blown away by the fans.

By now, Zenrus was living his dream of adopting a collection of small kids who may or may not need actual adoption by mentoring a ten-year-old named Laphicet (or Phi, for short.) Phi would have jumped a cliff for the chance to conduct an opera (if his aunt didn’t stop him in the process), so he stood next to Zenrus during all the performances to learn what he could. Since little Phi was already taller than him, and also had such an obnoxiously wide smile on his face that it visibly lit up the entire orchestra hall, it was hard to overlook him. The main difficulty for the orchestra was following what Zenrus was doing with his baton, not what Phi was doing (He tried his best to copy Zenrus’ movements, and he did a good job on it, too, but it was still distracting to see this little kid stealing the entire show.)

It was worth the effort, though. Phi’s presence added to the performance. Nobody even dared to think of talking him out of the idea that the singers on stage were his chosen holy warriors and he was the god of the conductor’s baton.

Rose basked in the spotlights as they highlighted her during the applause, stepping in front of the stage, ready to (more or less) humbly accept the cheers that were due for her job as producer. And oh dear, did she bask in it.

Two weeks after the premiere, Rose counted the sold tickets. A broad grin split her face as she waved a sheet with the final count in front of Sorey’s face.

“So? You happy with your own personal little opera?” Rose said and tried to rest her elbow on Sorey’s shoulder. “Tried,” because he was like almost a head taller than her, and she had a nagging suspicion that he wasn’t even done growing yet. But she was athletic and always up for a challenge.

He beamed. “I love it! My favourite thing is the light effects and the waterfall scene with the rainbow.”

“No shit. I was talking about the sales, but okay. Good old Zenrus sure knows his craft. And I bet Lailah’s aria alone would have been enough to squeeze that applause out of the audience every damn time. I told ya the minute you slap classical music over it, the people eat up everything as high culture. Shakespeare. Offenbach. Just everything about the Magic Flute. I mean, our plot isn’t much dumber. See what I mean?”

“Well, I do. But Shakespeare’s plays were the Renaissance equivalent of soap operas, and nobody took Schikaneder’s libretto seriously even after Mozart had written music for it…”

“Ksh. Ksssssh. We’re no longer friends if you keep talking.” Rose punched him gently in the shoulder when she couldn’t keep up leaning on it any longer. “So. What next? Phi told me you made friends with his aunt and her metal band…”

#Tales of Zestiria #orchestra AU #granny’s first fanfic yay!

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rockmiyabideusexmachina · 6 years

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2018 Megaman Valentine’s Day Contest Results Thread!

Thank you all for your patience this year! I know this is a little later after the holiday than I would like, but one day is simply not enough to contain all this love! Once again, it’s always wonderful to have an assortment of both familiar faces participating, as well as many newcomers.

As always, this will be a rather massive thread, so bear with me. Most of it will be hidden after the break, so please do take a peek at all these wonderful entries!

Due to the size and sheer quantity of comic entries, there are plenty of images to view. For that reason, I’m sticking to thumbnails for now. Please click to view the entry in it’s full glory!

Also, my thanks to @jaybird-c for the help with judging this year. I’ll have some of his commentary with my own below.

The three raffle prize winners will be noted by their alias, as well.

For your reminder, there were two categories, broken down into Humor and Talent. There were 6 total Humor entries, and 14 Talent entries. So, to start off, we’ll begin with the category with the least entrants, and to fit with my tie-in promo art.

*EDIT* OK, now I think everything is good. So long thumbnails, to keep this shorter.

Once again, for an easy link to all the images in a single gallery, please go here: https://imgbox.com/g/uAbXkTDaot

Otherwise, I’ve tested it again on both mobile and desktop, and everything should link to a full image. It still does on my end.

*/EDIT*

For Humor, this year’s theme was “Beauty and the Beastman.EXE.” The goal was to illustrate a mismatched Megaman couple, one in a monsterous, beastly form, with another more beautiful character that falls for them. Any allusions to the popular tale of Beauty and the Beast were welcome, but not a requirement.

Here are your top 3, followed by the remaining entries in alphabetical order by alias:

1.) @prar-draws: (*Prar wins $100 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: Prar's comic has the absolute best execution of a joke, increasing the tension until the last panel when it masterfully throws the audience for a loop. Prar's style complements the story very well by making each individual moment easy to digest, and the last panel also just happens to be really funny to look at on its own. Just thinking about it makes me crack up.

Miyabi wrote: While this piece really contains more tension and drama until the final panel, I agree that the build is what helps bring the big laugh at the end. You can also see the temperature rising for Ciel, as her cheeks get redder and redder as the panels move along. I felt it tied in to the Beauty and the Beast storyline nicely, and your chosen characters fit well to pull off the connection. Very cute, and well constructed comic!

2.) @amiable-apparition: (*a-a wins $50 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: I don't remember this scene from the Star Force anime. Must've been cut from the final release. Clever use of trickery regarding who the real "monster" is; poor Damian appears to have misjudged the situation something fierce. Good idea and use of twist.

Miyabi wrote: I guess Sam was the one who was ‘Hungry Like the Wolf,’ after all! I too enjoyed the spin at the end, it was a funny deviation on how her character was portrayed in the anime. Subject choice was strong here too, connecting the theme with a couple characters who fit well with the concept. Nice work with the variety of panels you created to set things up.

3.) @frankenchio: (*frankenchio wins $25 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: Ah, the Princess and the Toad Man. Frankenchio's piece is a clever little reference to the classic fable, but most of the humor is in how Roll apparently didn't know what kind of prince was on the other end of that frog. Clever, pretty to look at.

Miyabi wrote: I like that you thought outside of the box with the theme, and used a totally different classic tale, but still connected it very well. Ice Man sure lucked out this time, after whoever cursed him into Toad form. While a simple few panels, your style is just adorable. Those jewels on the crown look really detailed!

Close, but not quite ~

Dark Dullahan:

Jaybird wrote: Dark Dullahan has the idea of recreating an actual Disney scene with Iris and (Zoanoroid?) Zero, which is very sweet. It took me a few repeat looks to digest what was going on here but it's amusing to see Zero protecting his wounds from the fierce and terrible Iris. Because she's obviously the worst thing that can happen to him. Cute, amusing scene.

Miyabi wrote: Sorry, I don’t know why this upload defaults to a side view, when I don’t even have it at that orientation. It automatically glitches that way, no matter how I upload it. :/ Anyhow, a clever spin using the EXE versions of Zero and Iris, living in a world where only reploids...no wait, they don’t exist here. This Beastly ZoanoZero will open up to her over time, I’m sure. But first, he needs to heal up. Again, good use of parodying the scene.

@drewblossom:

Jaybird wrote: The sheer concept of Rock-Belle made me wonder if they were going to throw in an FMA reference somewhere, but Drew's picture doesn't need it. They make good use of the Disney-classic-gone-wrong idea -- Oil Man and Time Man as Lumiere and Cogsworth are nearly inspired --though I think they didn't quite go far enough and should have rounded out the piece with a more feminine version of the suit; Rock-Belle changing into Mega *Man* raises questions about whether the main character's an actual girl or just a cross-dresser, which distracts from the joke.

Miyabi wrote: I guess Rock is both the beauty and the beast, for totally destroying those poor innocent talking inanimate object bots! While I had a good laugh at the quick-change blast, the character reactions, and the overall parody of the classic scene, sadly I did feel it just didn’t quite have the couple contrast/Valentine’s theme as well as others.

@erekisaiko: (*RAFFLE PRIZE WINNER* Captain N Height Chart)

Jaybird wrote: I feel like I'm missing a reference to something else. As amusing as the concept of JunkMan's and Meddy's unsanitary hospital sounds, the picture doesn't present us with enough information to make sense of what actually happened (i.e. why was JunkMan wearing a cardboard Falzer costume in the first place?), and [=ClockMan's=] joke lacks the punch it ought to have because the punchline has no set up. (Unless of course this is all just an incredibly obvious reference to something I've never been exposed to that would fill in all the missing context). Amusing concept in punchline, it's fun to think about how this situation could've arisen.

Miyabi wrote: Meddy’s not oblivious, she just has a big heart ready to heal any messy, junky slob! Cute and different idea having more of a ‘fake’ beast, although I think Junk still would count as a beastly character on his own, in some respects. Very well-drawn, and appreciate all the detail you put into your internet background.

For the talent category, the theme was “If You Like It, You Should Put a Ring Boomerang On It.” This category was all about proposal scenes. And I am shocked there was not a single Jewel Man! XD

Here are your top 3, followed by the remaining entries in alphabetical order by alias:

1.) @wintesm: (*wint wins $100 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: Jeez. Unrelenting Style. Your children's book painting is incredible as ever; your figures, your colors, your atmosphere, just about everything. I ran into a problem with your composition, though; the stark black page divider clashes with the predominantly horizontal-mirror structure and makes it hard to wrap your head around the story as its meant to be told. It was less of a problem once I trained myself to ignore it, and you use the divider very effectively in the second-to-last section, but it still made it harder to enjoy the work. Masterful technique, colors, perspective, expression.

Miyabi wrote: With your subjects, I felt this composition was a very clever way to tell the story, and kinda mirror their separate, but similar tales side-by side. As mentioned, you have such a fitting children’s storybook style, from colors to shapes, that shines once again! It’s a cute tale for such evil characters!

2.) @peach35: (*peach wins $50 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: Peach deserves a lot of credit for her mastery of figure-drawing and perspective. That's something a lot of people struggle with, and accomplishment in these matters should be recognized. Another good choice of simple background to highlight the main moment, and awesome use of colors and lighting to suggest 3D -- I'm far more fascinated by Gate's nose than I should be. Incredible faces, hands, colors, and general shading.

Miyabi wrote: The sense of confused shock on Alia’s face is a different reaction that most, as it’s apparent Gate is slipping that ring on in total surprise. Clean lines and soft lighting helped this piece stand out.

3.) @tianura: (*tianura wins $25 USD or an item(s) up to that value.)

Jaybird wrote: Tianura's style is difficult to read; the line quality can be inconsistent from panel to panel, some attempts to convey 3D positioning could use polish, and the panels never stray very far from simple torso and head shots. That said, the expressions are exceptionally clear (again, look to the eyes) and convey lots of emotion, and the page-by-page composition is very good. Very expressive faces, judicious use of colors for effect.

Miyabi wrote: I thought this was a creative parallel for life-long partners in using Netto and Enzan. You did a nice job keeping Netto’s goofy charm intact, with quite a few humorous lines. The ending was totally fitting for him, older or not. XD While I’m sure you would have liked to color the whole thing, I liked the differing use of screentone shading. And the watercolor look of the color pieces did give it some storybook charm as well.

Close, but not quite ~

@borockman:

Jaybird wrote: It's such a shame this isn't a humor category, because this deserves major points for funny (the Nana-Sigma romance anime that the fandom doesn't want, but nonetheless deserves). The linework itself is pretty good. Expressive, good use of background for mood. Also, Sigma, the ring goes on the ring finger.

Miyabi wrote: It’s a dream. It’s always a dream! Siggy puts the ring on her pinky because Nana’s his ‘lil pinky-poo... ;p With the tears running down her face, I really did like the emotional feel of the moment.

@digitallyfanged:

Jaybird wrote: In terms of sheer atmosphere, this is one of the best pieces. It looks like a still from some fairy tale picture-book. The forest scenery, the background, the flower-swing, the misting breath, the quality of the outfits and the details on the dress and sword all make this exquisite. Unfortunately the characters aren't quite as expressive as they ought to be -- this is very clearly a fairy-tale love scene of some kind, but what kind? Laika is clearly being emotional towards the princess, but what is he saying? "Who are you"? "You're beautiful"? "I love you"? "Be mine forever"? It's gorgeous, but it's a little too vague to tell whether it's on topic or not.

Miyabi wrote: Gorgeous scene that felt a bit like another Disney-ish tale, moreso of the Frozen variety. They may just be easy-to-use Clip Studio effects, but I really thought it was quite creative how you pulled off the swing design. The watercolor forest background is beautiful, as is Pride’s snow princess outfit. Pretty, pretty picture!

@drewblossom:

Jaybird wrote: I'm glad I saw Drew's title, because it took me a minute to figure out exactly what was going on -- for a moment I thought Geminiman was trying to propose to himself with that (fittingly) gaudy diamond. The linework is pretty good, and I like the lighting effects on Gemini's crystals and the translucence of his chest plate. I'll give them points for an ambitious concept, but the best mirror art looks at a scene from two different directions, and Gemini's reflection is simply a reverse of the main view. Good colors and lighting, elegantly simple background that does a good job of highlighting the main action.

Miyabi wrote: No better way to practice a proposal than to recite it in front of your self. Of course, if he is proposing to his clone, then I think with his nonchalant actions, he’s got this down already. XD Clever, and unique!

@hyperbole1729:

Jaybird wrote: This piece is another mix. It has some very nice things -- the colors are spot on, the composition is very nice (you take cues from the 18th century Romantic movement by having the whole world revolve around the subject), you clearly pay attention to character details, and your field of flowers is great.

Miyabi wrote: Another set of net-battling partners who seem like a great choice for being together forever. The background is a fitting place for Sal to do it, because I don’t quite see Miyu being the one to speak up and propose. That might be more of a frightening proposition. LOL Cute, traditional scene.

@iris-sempi:

Jaybird wrote: Iris-sempi's got style. The colors are interesting, the subject is clear, the linework pops out because it's -also- part of the colors, the cartoony elements fit in very nicely, and the presentation as a literature/manga cover is well-done. The technique is some of the best I've seen. That said, I have to ask, if you were going to go through all the trouble of creating such a cool cover, I think it's only fair to point out the title is blocked by the artwork, which defeats the purpose, especially on something's Volume 1.

Miyabi wrote: Just to clarify for everyone, the Japanese characters for this piece say "Let's Get Married" and "Sea Salt Honey." I thought it was a really clever mag cover format, where the characters really pop out against the pink background. With the waves, it really does feel like Splashy leapt out of the ocean to smack some salty sugar on Honey/Vesper Woman. Her vibrating antennae give some nice movement and comedic effect, too. Love it, but felt it just didn’t quite have the proposal feel as strongly as others.

@jb-artist: (*RAFFLE PRIZE WINNER* - Megaman 8 cel)

Jaybird wrote: JB's picture is very cute, and we don't have much actual oekaki here, so props. While you deserve even more props for how direct you are to get to the point, it's difficult to judge how we're supposed to interpret this -- is Alouette precociously misunderstanding the nature of a marriage proposal or is it an actual proposal to her older sister figure? The perspective rocks, the colors and lighting are good, and there are lots of little details that portray lots of love for the Zero series.

Miyabi wrote: Zero’s such the silent, brooding type, that he sends Alouette to do the proposal for him. I’m just not sure if that will help or hurt his rank in this stage! XD It is honestly really cute, especially when you see her doodles on the resistance base’s wall. I think that makes the piece more than anything, and was a clever callback to the game. I like how you set up the scene with the background, and those are some really nice mountains back there, too.

@lightlabs:

Jaybird wrote: Now this is pretty. Great composition to direct us through the piece (-nice touch- on giving the ring some bling) and rocking use of paint swatches for style. The art does a great job of directing us into the center, and the warm colors in the center do a lot to convey mood. Zero, you smug jerk, stop showing the rest of us poor schlubs up.

Miyabi wrote: Yes, this is happening. There is a reason for me to go on. What...what am I using this line foooorr? The warm colors and sparkles give it a unique glow, for what seems to be a night scene. The brush strokes give it a neat paint brush look, for your coloring, too. Nice work conveying their emotions with their expressions as well.

@pandapanic0:

Jaybird wrote: In terms of actual skill, the coloring is good and clear, the piece is composed well, the lighting effects are fairly elegant. If it were the actual humor category, the Ring Man's appropriately outlandish bid and Mega Man's exceptionally feminine reaction would gain the piece lots of laugh-out-loud points.

Miyabi wrote: Thank you for taking the title of this category literally and going for the humorous visual of a giant ring Ring Boomerang! Even if he says no, once he tries to get rid of that ring, it’ll just come right back. XD Rock’s blushing expression is cute. Nice crisp coloring and bold lines.

@shikai-the-storyteller: (*RAFFLE PRIZE WINNER* - Archie Worlds Unite Page)

Jaybird wrote: On a panel-by-panel basis, the art is very good: crisp lines; good color and lighting; good technique with hands and faces; great use of background and expression to convey mood -- you got more mileage out of your backgrounds than probably anyone else here.

Miyabi wrote: Another nice job of mixing humor into your piece, while still keeping it a tender, sweet moment. Nice way of showing that things don’t always go as planned for a proposal, but sometimes it’s the thought and effort that counts. As always, your lines, colors and penmanship are smooth and flawless.

Superbasket5:

Jaybird wrote: Aww. If I've got this right, it looks like X is so nervous about giving Alia a valentine that he doesn't realize Berkana is giving Alia encouragement as well. I think. I have to wonder what Marty is doing here -- research tells me she has a crush on X, which seems like it would get in the way, and if that's the case, this impending trainwreck will be something worth watching. That said, the piece is still in its rough stages, especially your setting and perspective; I can't really tell where the characters are (outside at a park?), and Alia's hip is in front of X's arm.

Miyabi wrote: Alia has her support group, but I don’t know if she’s going to be able to pop the question to X with a crowd around her, either. XD Cute expressions, showing her nerves, while X is probably not quite expecting what’s hiding behind her back. I kinda wish we would get that visual of what she’s hiding as a cutaway, much like how you gave X a thought bubble for what’s going on in his head.

@yugiohlesbian:

Jaybird wrote: Good job! I'd like to compliment you on how versatile your figures are and how you use that to make them very expressive; your use of perspective and individual panel compositions are both very versatile. While there isn't any color, the nighttime scenes do a good job with the lighting. Your style is pleasantly simple, but sometimes the panels seem to be oversimplified; more developed backgrounds would be welcome in several places.

Miyabi wrote: Totally different subject, but Zero, none of us understand taxes, either. I like how you illustrated the struggle of a reploid trying to understand human logic and traditions, and yet in the end, it still being something Zero didn’t truly need to grasp in that logical sense. While I know you wish you would have had more time to continue perfecting these panels, I agree that the night scenes stand out and give a good contrast between Zero’s computer research scenes.

Thanks once again to all who participated! I will be contacting the winners soon enough. Work will probably keep me from replying to everyone immediately, but if you don’t hear from me today, I will send a message about prizes hopefully within the next day.

For those awaiting the secret contest results...sorry, for another slight delay. Between finishing my promo art for this thread, and typing this, it took up too much time and I’ve gotta head to work. I will have those posted overnight, into Sunday morning, as it won’t be quite as intensive to write up. My apologies, but I hope you can all hang on for another 20 hours or less. ^^;

#Rockman #Megaman #Mega Man #Rock Miyabi's 2018 Megaman Valentine's Day Contest #Too many tags to list

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cpaplannercom · 4 years

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Fastest Way To Get Started With Sites (And Making Money Off Niche Sites)

We’ve all read about the process of creating a blog, niche site, or other online money-making projects. The process is pretty much the same thing:

Find Topics You Have Interest In

Find Out If There Are Ways to Monetize

Do Keyword Research and Discover Viability of Buying Keywords

Check Competition

List and Plan Site Structure and Content

Buy a Domain and Hosting

Create a Blog or Website

Write Content for the Site

Create Relevant Images for the Site

Build Backlinks to Get Traffic via Organic Search

Buy or Build More Traffic via Social Media, Bookmarks, and RSS Directories

Collect Money!

Systematic and Fast Way To Own A Niche Site

Steps seem clear enough and we all know how difficult it is to get every one of them right to make big bucks. But if you just want to get started and you’re committed to keep this site for the long-term but hate doing all the work upfront, you can certainly outsource (pay) others to get it done.

Disclaimer: This is not a blueprint, but it’s just how We do things from scratch. We still do about half of the stuff above ourselfs, particularly with sites We have a genuine interest in, but for niche sites and product sites, You should outsource most of the stuff and keep track of costs.

We’ll assume that you’ve already picked a niche, determined your primary keywords and found a monetization strategy already, whether it’s via Adsense, Amazon, affiliate products, or whatever.

This article will only talk about outsourcing the stuff you’re not interested in doing. In this case, writing boring intro articles, building backlinks, creating social media or Web 2.0 accounts, etc.

Setting the Budget

So here we go, we’ll deal with items #6 to #11 mainly. There are many ways to get these done, and you don’t need all of the items above either, but We’ll give you an idea of where to start.

Getting a Domain and Hosting

To be frank, you don’t need (and probably don’t want) to outsource this as it’s very simple task.

Search and get your perfect domain name using this NameCheap link and after doing so, subscribe to a hosting plan. We strongly suggest you get the Baby Plan to get started as you’ll need to check how your website doing in the future.

Estimated total cost: $10/year (domain), $3/mo or ($36/year) = Total of $46/year

Create a Blog or Website

Unless you have a specific reason not to, you should use the WordPress platform for your blog. There are tons of free templates out there but if you’re not experienced with CSS and PHP, you’re better off investing in a premium (paid) theme as the support and community are awesome when you need to customize and troubleshoot your site.

Free themes don’t offer much support. Learn Niche Marketing and my other ‘big’ sites. You can add child themes (add-on themes) to match the type of blog/niche you’re promoting as well.

For Amazon niche sites, Read the post about recommended themes for Amazon review sites.

If you must use a free theme, We suggest to search the free version of some cool templates and if you really enjoy it pay for premium.

Another good option would be to just search for it in the WordPress.org themes directory.

If you don’t want to go through that, you can find a WordPress expert that sells a pre-fabricated site for you. For about $150-200, you can purchase a professionally made site with initial original articles (usually 3-5 articles), legally paid for stock photos, a premium theme, and the necessary plug-ins required.

There are many providers in Internet Marketing forums, they’re all priced between the $150-300 range depending on the included theme and article amount.

Note that websites usually cost a lot more than this (around $1000-4000) but since these are semi pre-fabricated sites, the labor cost is often substantially cheaper.

You’ll save TONS of time fixing design, CSS, color scheme, writing articles, etc. I do mean a lot of time. Hiring these developers will give you a turn-key platform. The only thing you need to do is add your monetization links.

Cost – $150-300

Write Content

If it’s a blog where you have a passion on, naturally, you’d be writing everything and you’ll enjoy it. If they’re niche sites and review sites, however, you may not have the patience to continue writing more articles on relatively boring consumer goods.

Yes, you already may have some pre-written articles in the previous step, but chances that you’ll need to add at least one article a month to keep the search engines happy as it helps the search engine spiders determine how often they should crawl your site.

We get our articles done over at iWriter. It’s a very buyer-friendly system where you can approve the submitted article’s quality before paying the writer and iWriter acts like an escrow.

Prices start at $1.25 for a 150-word article. You can pick highly rated writers for better quality articles, and they do cost more, about $5-8 per 500-word article.

We usually purchase 700-word articles if they’re for a basic blog post, 1000-1500 words for an intro article.

Cost – $1.25-$15

Relevant Images

Once again, if you purchased your blog design from a provider that supplied appropriate and paid stock photos, you don’t have to worry about this anymore. But for your filler images, you will need to purchase them from photo stocks.

If you’re purchasing small blog images (500px or so) and you purchase a ‘set’ of relatively generic images, you can re-use the images again and again for less than $20 bucks.

Remember, you’re using it for a blog post, you RARELY need anything larger than 500 pixels in max length. Please respect photographers/artists right to make a living. The images are cheap enough, so don’t steal all images from Google image search.

Cost – $5-50

Build Backlinks

Everybody hates building backlinks! They’re laborious, resource extensive, hard to track, and most of all, expensive to do by yourself! Unless you already have a group or team that shares the cost of super-expensive link building tools, it’s better off just paying someone to do this. This is especially true when your efforts don’t guarantee results either and you don’t have the skills nor metrics to make things work.

We did for one of our niche sites this: Hire a link building expert to do a “Guaranteed Page One” service and it yielded great success. In about 2 months, We reached page 1 for a relatively competitive term and just leap-frogged over the competition and earned enough to cover the cost of that page one campaign service in a month.

Basically, the SEO provider will build links for you until your chosen keyword(s) reaches the top 10 listings in Google. The timeframe varies depending on the strength of competition for your niche and your choice of keyword.

Naturally, if you’re targeting an easy keyword like “How to eat 50 burgers in 10 minutes” it may take only a week to reach page one, while a difficult term like “Cheap Car Insurance” may take quite a long time (and the providers probably won’t accept your order anyway).

Just search for “Guaranteed Page One SEO” and you’ll find quite a few.

Cost – $100-10000 depending on keyword competition. For most micro niche sites, especially Amazon sites, $100-150 would suffice.

Social Network Accounts, Bookmarking, RSS Submission

These steps are often required just to get your site some breadth in terms of visibility. Submitting your feed to RSS directories, for example, allows you to tell many RSS directories you exist and when you publish a new post, all of these directories will publish your link, getting you more traffic and backlinks.

Bookmarking and social networks do the same thing, just a different channel.

Creating accounts in all these websites takes forever, and honestly, don’t bother. Just head to Fiverr and for $5 a ‘gig’ or service, you can get as many as 200 RSS feed submissions, creation of all the necessary Web 2.0 & social network accounts, and bookmarking your existing posts quickly without doing a single thing.

Total cost for all three services – $15

Total cost for outsourcing services – $300-350 (min).

Caution, Watch Your Bottom-line

Can you do all these steps without spending 300 bucks? Of course, as We’ve mentioned previously, you’ll realize very quickly you don’t want to do all these laborious tasks. Honestly, you’ll be spending at least a week’s worth of tinkering to get all these done if you’re proficient with the tasks involved.

If you’ve never edited CSS before, it will take forever to research and write, no clue on how to build backlinks, etc. You’ll be wasting close to a month just to get started.

How much is your time worth?

Now about the cost. Naturally, the only thing we care about is profit. Make sure that your chosen niche has the potential to make money in the first place. In simplistic terms, if your niche has the potential to make $1 a day, then in theory, you can get your return-of-investment in 1 year’s time.

That doesn’t really make too much sense to spend so much just to get a buck a day. But if your niche has the potential to make $3 a day (which is seriously not that difficult to do when you start mixing income-generation methods), then you’ll only need less than 4 months to ROI.

In one of our sites, We spent a total of $150 to get the site to a stage where I’m happy with it. The cost involved $100 of guaranteed page one service, then the rest goes to those RSS/bookmarking submissions and the domain. Hosting is shared across my other sites so the cost there is very minimal, like $1.50/mo equivalent).

The site has made over $150 in 2 months, and it’s still making decent money afterward, so the initial investment was a no-brainer.

Starting really small, and when the potential seems to be there, then go ahead and spend for off-page SEO link services. The other costs have been rather minimal as We did most of the stuff ourselves. The downside is, We wasted 6-months before We got started with link building expenses and We’ll probably wait another 2 months before better income starts coming in.

So there you have it. An express lane to get started with niche sites and authority blogs for monetization. Even at the high-range of $500-800, think of the last $500-800 cumulative purchase you’ve made that was actually an asset that has the chance to make you money. $500 is just half-a-year of gourmet coffee.

Get started now!

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azuresquirrel · 7 years

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HEY GUESS WHO’S WATCHING EPISODE ONE OF “AMERICAN GODS” ALMOST A WEEK LATER.

Many assorted comments/liveblog within.

DISCLAIMERS HENCEFORTH: I come to this primarily as a fan of Fuller and some cast members. I attempted to read the book when I was seventeen but quit about 50 pages (?) in because I found an extreme lack of said gods I was promised and could not connect with the protag at all. Given I have read many books recently that I couldn’t “get into” at a younger age, it is probably much better than I remember it. But in short: consider me an unsullied non-book-reader for this experience.

I could barely make heads or tails of that opening sequence except that Starz said to Fuller “you have an actual budget and can do whatever you want” and Fuller said “WHATEVER I want” and Starz said “WHATEVER you want” and here we are and it’s ULTRA AESTHETIC and I fucking love it.

DAVID SLADE DIRECTED THIS EPISODE. ANOTHER HANNIBAL AESTHETIC ALUM. Will he direct every episode? I must know.

AESTHETICCCCCCCCCCC.

Okay so we’re starting with VIKINGS so on the one hand POINTS for not starting with Christopher fucking Columbus but on the other hand, we WILL deal with the fact that people lived on America for thousands of years before white Europeans came, yes?

GRATUITOUS VIKING VIOLENCE AND AESTHETIC. THIS IS SCRATCHING THE ITCH I HAVE HAD SINCE “HANNIBAL” ENDED, THANK.

HA HA HA BLOOD EXPLOSIONS AND LIMBS FLYING. I am not the only one who missed Hannibal.

Who the hell is this historian/narrator guy anyway? Is he a character of importance later? A said “god” perhaps? I KNOW NOTHING, JON SNOW.

Yeah I am definitely one billion times more interested and invested in the story of a black man in prison than when I was a callow 17-year-old.

HELLO THERE WILL AND HANNIBAL’S FANBOY FROM SEASON TWO (okay for one second I thought he was the dude who played Ramsey Bolton on Game of Thrones, so sue me). The first of many Bryan Fuller Repertory Players no doubt.

“I don’t believe anything I can’t see.” I feel like future events will probably test this, protag.

Dreams? Visions?? MY DESIGN??? What’s your aesthetic vision deal, protag? OKAY SHADOW, THAT’S HIS NAME.

Aaaaaand cue the dead wife. I hope there’s some supernatural fuckery with her later because I have little patience for the dead wife trope being played 100% straight in the year of our lord 2017.

“Do not. Piss off. Those Bitches. In airports.” I can see the teeth marks on the scenery.

PLANE SEAT OF DESTINY NEXT TO IAN MCSHANE.

“It’s not the cash it’s the faith.” I THINK IAN MCSHANE MAY POSSIBLY BE MAGIC I DON’T KNOW WHY.

I kinda remember this plane scene from the book and I feel like it’s much faster and more interesting here in the series.

Hi tree probably from Norse mythology because Vikings.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHA

NIGHTMARE BUFFALO

WITH FIRE EYES

BAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

“SOMEWHERE IN AMERICA” Hello gorgeous woman with . . . a seriously red theme going on. Um, white dude, I do not think she is into you for your body. Unless maybe to eat your body.

UM?????????????????????

OHHHHHHHHHHH

Well

She . . . um . . . sort of . . . ate him . . . in a way

Well then.

. . . thanks to Game of Thrones I can say that wasn’t even the most awkward sex scene I’ve seen on TV.

And now Shadow’s in a bar that looks like the inside of an alligator’s mouth because why the fuck wouldn’t he be? IT’S FULLER-SLADE LAND. (actually where is Shadow geographically? I can’t place it and I don’t know it that’s intentional or I just missed some dialogue)

I think I’d be pretty weirded out by Ian McShane popping up in the bathroom too so #relatable.

UNNECESSARILY AESTHETIC WAY OF SHOWING A RECORD PLAYER. AMAZING.

hello there Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

“aren’t you a little tall for a leprechaun” RACIST.

“Mad Sweeney” GEE DO YOU THINK THIS IS AN IRISH LEPRECHAUN? DO YOU THINK??

I don’t know who this actor is playing Shadow but he’s seriously good. Nailed that “I’ll hurt people for you” speech.

“You’re my man now.” I’M SURE THIS WILL END WELL.

“Now that’s a coin trick for you.” I feel like Shadow might be slightly missing prison at this point.

And now Mad Sweeney wants to fight. DO YOU THINK???? HE’S IRISH?????

I am loving Ian McShane’s practically showboating American accent.

The casket is never open during Catholic funerals, that’s just for the wake/viewing. I know, I know it’s for #AESTHETIC.

thank you Shadow for not fucking this drunk woman on your cheating wife’s grave. I TAKE THE VICTORIES WHERE I CAN GET THEM.

what??????????

so this thing is on his face . . . and now he’s in a . . . space ship . . . with non-drag Laganga from Rupaul’s Drag Race. And he’s . . . smoking a frog . . . and his guards are not fully rendered . . . um. Is this weirdo like the god of internet or some shit?

Forgive the understatement, but Shadow is not having a good day.

WELL THIS IS EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.

YAY BLOOD-PLOSIONS.

And of course that’s where it ends.

So. Lots of things that are astoundingly unexplained to me and will probably be so for a while.

I’M ON BOARD THIS BATSHIT AESTHETIC RIDE.

That being said, please soon have some female characters that are not dead or completely defined by fucking guys.

#Azuresquirrel Watches American Gods

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janetchavezcom · 5 years

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10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

The key to planning a worry-free vacation with toddlers is choosing the right destination. Whether it’s an exciting city brimming with hands-on activities, a peaceful beach, or a rural setting where kids can explore, it has to be a place where both the young and getting older can have fun (after all, it’s your vacation, too!).

To help you choose, we’ve hand-picked 10 of the best vacations for toddlers from coast to coast. From the action-packed streets of Washington, DC to the picturesque shores of San Diego, the places on our list make every curious toddler’s favorite question—”Why?”—easy to answer. We’ve even included our top pick for a kid-friendly attraction your little ones will love.

With more than 300,000 rentals to choose from on FlipKey, opt for a vacation home during your family getaway and benefit from extra space, free laundry, and a full kitchen to prepare meals for even the pickiest of eaters.

Captiva Island, Florida

Captiva Island rests just off the coast of southwest Florida in the emerald waters of the Gulf of Mexico. It’s known for its shallow waters and gentle waves, which make it an ideal beach vacation spot for families with toddlers. With your little ones at your side, chase waves retreating into the ocean, build an enormous sandcastle, or comb the beach for colorful seashells—the possibilities are endless! Choose a beachfront condo with kid-friendly activities (think kite-making and coconut-painting) or book a vacation home with tons of space for a stress-free getaway in Captiva Island.

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

With its small-town vibe and inviting atmosphere, one thing’s certain: you’re sure to feel at ease in Pigeon Forge (at least, while the kids aren’t testing your patience!). Situated in the heart of the Smoky Mountains, this outdoorsy destination is all about experiencing the Appalachian wilderness hands-on. In other words, it’s a toddler’s dream-come-true. Explore the dense forests on foot, bike along nature paths, or take a dip in the local swimming holes. If that’s not your thing, downtown Pigeon Forge boasts family-friendly theme parks, unique attractions, and the sounds of country music on almost every street corner, ensuring a good time is had by all.

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Located just miles from Smugglers Notch, one of Vermont’s largest state parks, Stowe boasts countless kid-friendly hikes, scenic byways, and undiscovered attractions. Translation: Stowe is the ultimate natural playground for toddlers. Let your children run free, climbing over twisted roots, playing hide-and-go-seek among the trees, and breathing in the fresh mountain air. Once everyone’s all tired out, retreat to your spacious cabin rental, and spend the evening cuddled on the couch watching movies and reading bedtime stories. Sometimes the best vacation for toddlers is one that involves minimal plans and a place to let loose.

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

It goes without saying that Orlando is one of the best vacations for toddlers. Home to the world-famous Disney theme parks, happiness fills the air here. Explore a lush, African savanna at Disney’s Animal Kingdom, stay cool at the Typhoon Lagoon Water Park, or watch your children’s eyes light up while hugging Mickey Mouse. The fun doesn’t have to end when you exit the park’s gates, though! Many Orlando vacation rentals bring the magic home with Disney-themed rooms, fabulous pools, and lots of space to play. Visit Orlando and even adults will feel like kids again!

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

With miles of scenic lakefront, world-class boating, and a convenient location in the center of Missouri, Lake Ozark is a fabulous vacation spot for families, especially those with toddlers. Let the hours slip by swimming, strolling, or simply relaxing on the picturesque shores. For toddlers, there are endless things to do and no shortage of hiding spots for your inquisitive little one(s) to discover. At the end of the day, kick up your feet at your cabin rental, and watch the sunset over the water. Indoors and outdoors, your whole family will have fun in Lake Ozark!

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Washington, DC is loaded with captivating attractions your toddlers will love: the park-like National Zoo, several museums with interactive exhibits, and plenty of sprawling parks perfect for playing and picnicking, to name a few. Rent an apartment downtown or stay along the city’s outskirts—it’s easy to get around Washington, DC, even with toddlers in tow. Hop on the metro and breeze from destination to destination, or climb into a pedicab for an open-air ride through the city’s unique neighborhoods. Your wee ones will be awe-struck by the city’s massive monuments, historic buildings, and iconic landmarks looming in the skyline.

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

San Diego is a laid-back beach town that’s fun to visit, with or without kids! When you arrive, make your first stop Balboa Park. It’s home to a large playground, nearly 20 museums, the San Diego Zoo, and so much more that will keep your little ones entertained for hours. Along the coast, soak up sun at Mission Beach or visit La Jolla Cove where seals and sea lions perch on the rocks all day long (cuteness overload!). FlipKey has plenty of San Diego rentals just steps from the beach, so you won’t have to tote your toddlers and beach toys too far for fun in the sun.

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Travelers describe a vacation to Lake Placid as “a true Adirondack experience” and an “unbeatable, peaceful retreat.” Although it’s famous for being the site of the 1980 Winter Olympic Games and a hub for snow sports, this quiet city nestled in the mountains offers year-round activities the whole family will enjoy. During the summer, splash in the lake or sit by the fire pit as frogs croak and fireflies flit by. When winter rolls around, try skiing and ice skating, or climb Whiteface Mountain in the Cloudsplitter Gondola for sweeping views of Lake Placid. You’ll find this fabulous destination is as breathtakingly beautiful and full of adventure as it is toddler-friendly.

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

If you’ve never been to Philadelphia, you’ll quickly see why it’s a fabulous city and one of the best vacations for toddlers. From the massive Smith Memorial Playground & Playhouse to the Philadelphia Zoo, there’s plenty to keep your children amused for hours on end. With little ones constantly on the go, try not to miss the centuries of American history on display throughout the city—the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and Reading Terminal Market to name a few. Need another reason to visit Philadelphia? Sesame Place is just across the city line in Langhorne!

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Fill your days in Port Aransas searching for seashells, fishing from the pier, and exploring the local nature reserves. The 18 miles of soft-sand beaches here provide a cushiony landing spot for toddlers still getting the hang of walking. Overhead, colorful Roseate Spoonbills and Reddish Egrets fly through the sky, while the sound of whooping cranes carries through the air delighting both young and young at heart. Make it easy on yourself by booking a rental right on the water so you won’t have to lug your beach gear too far. If you’re seeking an island retreat without a hefty price tag (you can rent a home for under $100 per night!) Port Aransas is the perfect place for you and your family.

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2018/12/20/10-best-vacations-for-families-with-toddlers/

0 notes

marymperezga · 5 years

Text

10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

Captiva Island, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2018/12/20/10-best-vacations-for-families-with-toddlers/

0 notes

kevingbakeruk · 5 years

Text

10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

Captiva Island, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2018/12/20/10-best-vacations-for-families-with-toddlers/

0 notes

janerchambers88 · 7 years

Text

10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

Captiva Island, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

0 notes

mrrolandtfranco · 7 years

Text

10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

Captiva Island, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from The FlipKey Blog http://ift.tt/2eIdaCL

0 notes

kevingbakeruk · 7 years

Text

10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers

Best Vacations for Toddlers

Captiva Island, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Sanibel Sea School

See all Captiva Island vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

Top kid-friendly attraction: The Coaster at Goats on the Roof

See all Pigeon Forge vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Stowe, Vermont

Top kid-friendly attraction: Stowe Bowl

See all Stowe vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Orlando, Florida

Top kid-friendly attraction: Crayola Experience Orlando

See all Orlando vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Ozark, Missouri

Top kid-friendly attraction: Miner Mike’s Indoor Family Fun Center

See all Lake Ozark vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Washington, DC

Top kid-friendly attraction: The International Spy Museum

See all Washington, DC vacation rentals from FlipKey!

San Diego, California

Top kid-friendly attraction: San Diego Children’s Discovery Museum

See all San Diego vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Lake Placid, New York

Top kid-friendly attraction: Whiteface Adventure Zone

See all Lake Placid vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Top kid-friendly attraction: Please Touch Museum

See all Philadelphia vacation rentals from FlipKey!

Port Aransas, Texas

Top kid-friendly attraction: Port Aransas Sandcastle Guy

See all Port Aransas vacation rentals from FlipKey!

The post 10 Best Vacations for Families With Toddlers appeared first on The FlipKey Blog.

from Tips For Traveling https://www.flipkey.com/blog/2017/07/24/best-vacations-for-toddlers-families/

0 notes