#12 days of dethmas

[adultswim2021]

Metalocalypse #42: "Dethmas" | December 7, 2009 - 12:40AM | S03E04

Hey, it’s the Metalocalypse Christmas episode. I don’t have any memory of this episode, and I actually think I may have stopped watching the show at this point? Not deliberately; sometimes I just let a show pile up to a point and realize “huh, I guess I don’t watch that show anymore”; sort of a “one day your mother puts you down and never picks you up ever again” kinda thing, because you kept relying on the same jokes over and over again. 

I try to strike a good balance between being positive and being critical but I also feel weird about withholding my true feelings. On one hand, this episode is “just okay”, and if I were to just be doing a simple passive Metalocalypse watch-through I’d probably shrug that this one was indeed “just okay”, and watch the next one with cautious optimism. The episode never really offended me with it’s lukewarm substandardness or rubbed me the wrong way in some uncharacteristic way. As I struggle to find something positive to say about this episode, I find myself realizing that I’m not just giving this student’s paper a C minus and moving on to the next. I’m now conducting an autopsy. 

This episode feels sitcommy. That’s okay, as long as it’s very funny. It has a few subplots that all sorta intersect at the end, but it doesn’t result in a huge explosive spectacle. The stories are: 1) Dr. Rockso is out of prison and looking to reconnect with Toki, who understandably wants to keep his distance from him. 2) Toki wants to celebrate Christmas, but the rest of the band isn’t playing along 3) Murderface has a Christmas special in the works. 4) Dethklok’s mothers all come to Mordhaus (and Murderface wants to fuck Skwisgaar’s mom). The episode culminates with the Murderface special being very bad; the main conflict being that it’s sponsored by the church, and the band finds this out as the show is underway, live on television. 

A fracas erupts when it’s revealed Dr. Rockso stole Toki’s presents for cocaine money. The presents were going to be used on camera as part of a live gift-swap segment. The rest of the band curses out Murderface for making them look like dorks. Dr. Rockso gets a handjob from Skwisgaar’s mom. Murderface’s grandmother is pinned under a big wooden cross. 

It doesn't help that nearly every plot in this feels like a rehash of a different, more effective episode. And, as far as spectacles go, the one that ends the episode is pretty tepid. Usually we expect massive amounts of death and gore and whatnot from this show. The parallel of Murderface trying to play it safe to secure big money from the church and this episode, PERHAPS UNIRONICALLY playing it safe by not going too far or too blasphemous makes me wonder if it was either an attempt at satire or a watering down of what was intended? Did the crew unironically decide to take the sanctity of Christmas into account and make an episode that isn’t too rough? Could it be Turner’s standards and practices at work, which hamstrung other Adult Swim shows in the past? If this is an attempt at satire about that very thing, then that’d be a little better. But that doesn’t magically make this episode funny. I can’t take back my lack of laughter. This one's a dud. 

EPHEMERA CORNER: 

Robot Chicken: The Complete Fourth Season DVD (December 15, 2009)

This was touched on earlier, but it's the only thing notable about this release in my opinion: season four of Robot Chicken included a somewhat subtle gag where each episode’s title was part of a larger whole message. Actually, it’s two messages, mimicking a letter and a response letter. The episodes were aired slightly out of order, but when presented in production order on DVD, they would present the message unscrambled, as if the episodes were named as a way to get a secret message out there. 

Help Me. I'm Trapped In a DVD Factory They Took My Thumbs Two Weeks Without Food Tell My Mom I Love Her But Not In That Way Love, Maurice P.S. Yes, In That Way

Dear Consumer We Are a Humble Factory Maurice Was Caught Unionizing Our Labor President Hu Forbids It Due to Constraints of Time and Budget The Ramblings of Maurice Cannot Be Erased, So Sorry Please Do Not Notify Our Contractors Especially the Animal Keith Crofford!

Apparently, Warner DVDs from this era are under scrutiny for being susceptible to disc rot, so please know that the “DVD Factory” in question was in Pennsylvania cutting corners that deprived me of being able to sell my very rare Space Ghost DVD for 150 dollars on eBay.

How much should I charge for that DVD with only one working disc? Some one might want it, right?

#adult swim #adultswim2021 #metalocalypse

[mtllica]

Dec. 22: A gag gift or the perfect present

i kinda did both? lol

a story in 3 parts...

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanart #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #dethmas #dethklok #toki wartooth #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf #my art #idk why on earth i shaded this... it took years lmao

[robinsnest2111]

"You boys just yell if you need anything, okay?"

"Okay, Mrs. Explosion 🥺💕"

"Ugh, mom..."

Dethmas Day 5: Visiting the family

Y'all remember the sleep over post I made ages ago? With everyone going "MOMS CAN BE NICE LIKE THAT?!" Really wanted to revisit that idea~

#metalocalypse #12 days of dethmas #rose explosion #nathan explosion #toki wartooth #skwisgaar skwigelf #william murderface #pickles the drummer #robin's art adventures

[miroyuuu]

for the ‘visiting the family’ dethmas prompt :) bring ur big scary bf so ur family won’t fuck with you

this isn’t very festive n tbh i just wanted to draw some nickles but here haha

#today has been a sad day. but at least i can post a colored nathan for the first time in a while #metalocalypse #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #nickles #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #my art

[aggravatetheaxe]

The 12 Days of Dethmas - Day 1 ft. Skwisgaar & Toki

Excited for the season or being a Scrooge

As an enormous nerd for A Christmas Carol, you knew which one I had to choose. And I like ACC too much to not do something literal >:) This is such a niche, specific-to-me crossover that I hope other people can enjoy it in, like, any way >> To keep this from turning into a huge, multi-chapter thing, I had to force myself to jump right into the story. But I figure most people know the story pretty well anyway, so here goes nothing!

This could have so many chapters, tbh. Can you imagine all the crap the Ghost of Christmas Past would have Skwisgaar seeing? But anyway. Based on probably my favorite scene in any ACC adaption, or I guess more broadly my favorite ghost.

cw: Skwis being a deadbeat dad, non-canon/AU, mention of medical problems and medical bills

words: 2,114

soundtrack: x

Masterlist

***

Skwisgaar shivered as another wave of magic washed over his skin.

Again, the scene surrounding him changed. Instead of the shopping center he'd been standing in a moment ago, as crowded with joy as it had been with people, he now stood at the end of a city street. It stunk of garbage and piss, the asphalt and bricks marked with grime, the street lights dim and yellowed. A few streets over, police sirens droned and dogs barked.

It took a few moments for him to come to terms with the startling shift in atmosphere. He looked to his right and saw the ghost, the one who'd been guiding him through this vision, waiting expectantly on the sidewalk.

The ghost was shorter than Skwisgaar but well-built beneath the evergreen robe he wore. His long, light brown hair was crowned by a wreath of holly and icicles, his blue eyes bright, and in one hand, he held a silver torch. "I ams the Ghost of Christsmas Present!" he'd said when he'd first appeared in Skwisgaar's room. "But you can calls me Toki."

And so that was how Skwisgaar addressed him now: "Toki, where ams we? What'ms we doings in this ... awfuls place?"

"Oh," Toki said, beginning to walk forward, "we're here to visits an old friends of yours. One a thems ... what's did you calls them? Groupie sluts."

Skwisgaar raised his brows, glancing as they passed a homeless man huddled in a doorway. The very sight filled him with discomfort and a measure of disgust. "Ams nots friends with the groupie sluts."

"Oh, okay." The ghost's tone was mild, but Skwisgaar shot a glare in his direction. This guy was supposed to teach him the meaning of Christmas or whatever, to help him redeem his immortal soul, not sass him about who he did and didn't keep around.

It wasn't long before they reached the stoop of an apartment building. Toki led him up the stairs, and the pair of them simply walked through the door without opening it. Skwisgaar was used to being as incorporeal as the ghosts by now - the people he saw in this vision could not see or hear them.

And good thing, too. As they climbed the steep stairs, Skwisgaar quickly found himself winded. The stench of the carpet and the cigarette smoke permeating the building did little to help in that regard. "Eh, ghost? Is there nots a elevators we cans take?"

Toki simply laughed. "Nopes! You gotsta climb ups just like everyone else, Skwisgaar!"

Skwisgaar swallowed and dragged himself up the remaining few steps, finally coming to the ghost's side on the landing. "Christs, ams outs of shape..."

Toki's breathing had not changed a bit. With a smile, he motioned for Skwisgaar to follow him, then stepped through the door of #33. After a beat, Skwisgaar obliged.

What lay beyond the door was not what he had expected. Immediately, he was hit with the sharp, pleasant smell of a fir tree, mingling with the scent of richly seasoned food and baking cookies. The apartment was warm despite the biting cold outside, and classic Christmas carols were playing faintly somewhere nearby.

Toki had already stepped out of the small entryway and into the apartment proper, and slowly, Skwisgaar followed. They were in a living room, lit nicely by a small tree in the corner. A really small tree, Skwisgaar noted, much smaller than the thirteen-footers they had at Mordhaus. And under it ... he was used to a veritable heap of gifts, but there was only a pathetic pile of perhaps five wrapped boxes.

Nevertheless, someone was admiring them in awe - a small, blond someone in red pajamas. The room was relatively dim, and he could only see the child in profile, but it hardly mattered. It was a distinct profile and a distinct shade of blond. Dread lanced Skwisgaar's heart as he realized what was about to happen.

"Ty! Dinner's ready!"

The kid rose to his feet and left the tree behind, running into the kitchen to their right. For a few moments, Skwisgaar stayed put, frozen to the spot with fear. It wasn't until Toki nudged him expectantly that he took a few hesitant steps into the kitchen.

It was much brighter in the kitchen, and though the surfaces and appliances were rough and worn down around the edges, things were clean enough. Various dishes of holiday foods, typical American things, lined the counters. A small kitchen table was set up with two chairs and two plates of turkey, potatoes, and casserole.

The kid hauled himself into the nearest chair. Across from him, Skwisgaar was surprised to see a familiar face - an old friend, just like the ghost had promised. Mariah, an ex-Klokateer he'd had an on-and-off thing with for a few years. She'd left the Klokateers in what he'd thought was an amicable parting but had never returned his calls after that. Stuck up bitch.

"How does it look?" she asked the kid, tying back her hair. "Does it taste good?"

"I don't know, Mom, I haven't tasted it. Duh, I just sat down!"

"Well, hurry up!" She was grinning, and Skwisgaar's heart wrenched uncomfortably.

The kid - Ty - made a show of taking the first bite of his turkey and pondering. Finally, he lifted his fork and declared, "It's good, everyone!"

"Good," Mariah said in a chuckle, tucking into her own food.

Skwisgaar shifted feet and looked over at Toki, who was watching with his own stupid grin. "Why does I haves to see this, ghost?"

Toki said nothing, though his grin and the brightness in his eyes became more subdued. Skwisgaar was left with no choice but to watch the scene unfold.

"How does your port feel?" Mariah asked after a minute or so of quiet eating.

"Itchy." Ty lifted a hand to scratch at his chest. "I hate it."

"I know, but it'll make it easier for the doctor to give you your meds. You don't want them to have to give you a shot every time, do you?"

"No," he mumbled, picking at his carrots. "I don't like carrying the backpack around. People always ask questions."

Mariah shrugged. "Just tell them it's none of their business."

This scene mirrored one Skwisgaar had seen earlier ... a Christmas many years before this one, with a different towheaded child and a different single mother. Unlike that Christmas, he doubted Mariah would find somewhere to drink and pick up a boyfriend after dinner.

"Oh, by the way," she said, speaking around a mouthful of food, "Grandma's gonna drive you to your appointment on Tuesday."

Skwisgaar couldn't help but notice the boy's shoulders sag. Disappointment practically rolled off him, a disappointment that Skwisgaar was more familiar with than he cared to admit. "I thought you would take me."

"Sorry." Mariah suddenly looked exhausted, like a lifetime of stress was bearing down on her all at once. "I had to take another shift."

"Why do you have to work all the time? I wanted to hang out with you over vacation."

"I know," she said. "I'm sorry. Money's kinda tight right now. I really could use the extra shift." She avoided her son's eyes for a few moments before looking at him, expression begging for his understanding. "We can hang out next Tuesday. Promise?"

Ty wasn't as enthusiastic as his mother had probably hoped. "Then I have to go back to school." He frowned at his food. "How come we don't have money? Is it because of my IV thingy?"

Mariah winced, obviously trying to avoid saying yes. "Don't worry about that, baby. You need your medicine. It's not a big deal."

A lie. Skwisgaar knew her well enough to sense that.

He frowned, contemplating the scene before him. After a moment's hesitation, he took a few steps forward, studying the boy's face, then Mariah's, then the boy again. Money troubles, a single mom ... he was no stranger to that story, but usually, he didn't think about it. Up on the stage, a guitar god worshiped by thousands of millions, that felt like a lifetime ago, like it had happened to someone else. Like it really was just a story.

After his meeting with the Ghost of Christmas Past, the memory was fresher.

"Ghost," Skwisgaar began, surprised at the softness of his own voice, "wills they be alls right?"

"I sees a vacant place at the tables." Toki's tone was so grim Skwisgaar turned to face him. "Lots of hard shifts to affords hostpital bills. I sees a mother makin's herself sicks with exhaustion, rents whats is goin' unpaid. Ones angry landlord. A mom in debts." The ghost met Skwisgaar's eyes. "If the future don'st change, she ams not gonna be arounds for him very longs."

Skwisgaar blinked, taken aback. "Don't says that, Toki. That ams crazy. You can'st dies from beings poor."

"If the future don'st change, Skwisgaar, she ams gonna works herself to deaths. It ams either hers or the littles boy gonna dies." The ghost's brow twisted. "But ... 'if they ams goings to die they's better hurries up 'cause we gots too many useless dildos ons earth expectings a free lunch.'"

Skwisgaar recoiled at his own words being used against him. "Ey! No fairs! You can'st ... I didn't knows..."

"You still says it, dick!" the ghost snapped. "If you gots any soul at all, maybes next time before you talks, you shuts up till you knows who ams thems 'useless dildos,' and where they ams." Toki's glare was withering. "You thinks you shoulds be the one decidin's who lives and who dies? You thinks you gets to decides who's lazies 'n' useless whens you can'st even takes responstabilities of you owns kids? You thinks you ams a god, but it could be that you ams more worthless and less fits to live than billions likes this poor lady's kid!"

"Toki, I--"

He rolled his eyes. "Oh, gods, here's it go. The insect up highs on the leaf, complainin' about the too-much-life among hims hungry brothers in the dusts!"

In that moment, Skwisgaar felt very much like an insect indeed. He felt small and trivial, spirit wilted as it was under the ghost's contempt and rage.

Before he knew it - before he was ready - his surroundings shifted again, and again, he and the ghost stood in the biting cold. Fog clung to the pavement, and as Skwisgaar jolted and turned to take it all in, figures began to emerge from that fog. A hundred childlike figures, standing just close enough for him to see their pale yellow hair.

"Who - who the fucks ams..." Skwisgaar trailed off, afraid of the answer.

Toki, still standing in front of him, spoke again. "They ams your childrens, Skwisgaar. They ams everyone rich guys like you forgets about." As he said this, a few of them crowded behind him, clinging to his robes, peering at Skwisgaar with identical, unsettling blue gazes. "If you denies them ... laughs at the people what's am tellin's you about them ... admit you gots a problem but don't do nothin' abouts it ... then you 'n' everyones else ams doomed."

"But," Skwisgaar eked out, nearly cowering, "isdin't there somewheres whats they can go? Somewheres for help?"

"'Hey, thems single moms can always becomes hookers,'" Toki replied grimly. "'They haves that five-dollars Hot Topic gifts card.'"

Grief exploded in Skwisgaar's chest. "Stop usings my dumb words against me! They ams was stupid words! I gets it!" He couldn't bear the hot anger racing up his neck, prompting him to step forward and grab Toki by the fur lining of his robes. The ghost shook in his grip, looking more somber and exhausted than ever before.

And then he was gone - him and all the creepy children. A few seconds later, Skwisgaar's watch beeped, signalling midnight for the third time that evening.

Shivering hard, he drew his hands close to his chest again, looking around the empty streets. He was alone ... completely alone, abandoned by the spirit who was supposed to be protecting him. Bitter but genuine tears clouded his vision as he shuffled forward, walking aimlessly through the fog. Had he not passed the test or something? Was he going to be stuck here forever now? But how was he supposed to make things right if...

Something new appeared in the rolling fog, bringing Skwisgaar to an abrupt halt. A tall shadow, its hooded head bowed. A horror he couldn't even begin to describe seeped into his heart at the sight of the thing, too long and thin to have ever been anything human. But with the horror came resignation.

Another ghost. Another trial. Then, finally, his soul would be saved.

***

#skwisgaar skwigelf #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #toki wartooth #skwistok #metalocalypse #dethklok #metalocalypse fanfic #there's something ... especially cringy about seeing charles dickens words spoken in toki's voice #oh well. i am cringe

[buttered-ghost-toast]

Dec. 15th.....Favorite Holiday Song

“Here we know that Christmas will be green and bright

The sun to shine by day, and all the stars at night

Mele Kalikimaka is Hawaii's way to say Merry Christmas to you”

I worked too many years of retail which left me with an immeasurable hatred for holiday tunes, but this is the one song I can tolerate.

They have matching shirts. All of them. And Charles.

Is a smol grandpas guitars

#my art #12 days of dethmas #dethmas #pickles the drummer #skwisgaar skwigelf #william murderface #dethklok #metalocalypse

[atmilliways]

(Metalrat) For 50 tropes: 27 with Pickles and anyone of your choosing. :) I’m very weak for the way you write Pickles. XD

YOU GOT IT (eventually, lol). Here is recently no longer famous Pickles accidentally using that trick on all the current members of Dethklok. I also used this as my springboard for Dethmas day 1, "Excited for the season or being a Scrooge."

[cliche prompts meme]

Mistle-No

Read all 3467 words on Ao3!

#12 days of dethmas #dethmas 2021 #metalocalypse #preklok #metalocalypse fanfic #my fanfic #pickles the drummer #magnus hammersmith #nathan explosion #william murderface #skwisgaar skwigelf

[waitingforseason5]

12 Days of Dethmas Day 15 - Crossover w/ Your Favourite Holiday Song 🎄🤘🏼💀

#metalocalypse #facebones #12 days of dethmas #dethklok #Charles Offdensen #charles ofdensen

[fishklok]

12 Days of Dethmas Day 16: Holiday Card

Message to the boys from the business & production side of the operation

#metalocalypse #dethklok #mtl #charles offdensen #abigail remeltindtdrinc #dick knubbler #12 days of dethmas #dethmas #my art

[lampmeeting]

dethmas, dec. 14: under the mistletoe or office party shenanigans

maybe the first post-galaktikon christmas is spent at the newly-rebuilt mordhaus. maybe magnus proposes on christmas eve. and maybe the two of them spend the rest of the holiday finding excuses to steal away into torch-lit corridors and smooch to their hearts’ content. :3

#metalocalypse #magnus hammersmith #toki wartooth #hammertooth #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #my art #hello sweet boys it's been a while hasn't it

[deth-of-a-king]

dethmas, dec. 14; kissing under the mistletoe

we get it, you're in love

#dethking arts #metalocalypse #nathan explosion #skwisgaar skwigelf #nategaar #12 days of dethmas

[artbygal]

12 days of Dethmas, day 20: UGLY SWEATERS.

Le Skwisgaar with le ugly sweater: a snowman being a victim of necklacing (don’t search it up if you’re squeamish).

#metalocalypse #skwisgaar skwigelf #12 days of dethmas #my art

[mtllica]

Dec. 24: New Year's resolutions or *kissing at midnight*

hope everyone has a good day today, and merry christmas to those who celebrate!

here's to a good 2022 🍻

#metalocalypse #metalocalypse fanart #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #dethmas #dethklok #pickles the drummer #nathan explosion #nickles #my art

[robinsnest2111]

"We got all night, chief. That's my present for you, for us."

"Pickles-, how-? What about the others?"

"Abi's got it under control. It's fine, Charlie."

Dethmas Day 10: The perfect present

Looks like Pickles called in a favour with Abigail to gift Charles a night just for the two of them for Christmas 👀

At first I wanted to go with Gag gift, something silly with lamps. But man... the Chickles quality time and This Pose hit me out of nowhere. This is probably the most sensual moment I have ever drawn up until now. The spirit of Chickles is very strong this holiday season lol

#metalocalypse #12 days of dethmas #chickles #pickles the drummer #charles offdensen #robin's art adventures

[miroyuuu]

started this group pic for dethmas but don’t think i’ll finish it tbh :^( hope u’ll still enjoy it uncolored anyways woops

#metalocalypse #12daysofdethmas #12 days of dethmas #skwisgaar skwigelf #toki wartooth #nathan explosion #pickles the drummer #william murderface #my art

[little-murmaider]

I had a last minute work project pop up that’s gonna need all my attention for the next couple days so I won’t be able to do what I wanted for Dethmas Day 22: A Metalocalypse Hallmark Movie Podfic. (The parts would have been split between me and CJ.) Here are some of the highlights:

Nathan finds himself in an idyllic mountain town just in time for Christmas! He has no recollection of how he got there.

He keeps encountering people he knows, but everyone is acting...weird.

Charles keeps talking about the big account and how he has to land it to get his big promotion and nothing else matters, not even Christmas. He is using nine cell phones and carrying four briefcases.

Pickles, speaking in an almost offensively-terrible Irish accent, keeps inviting Nathan to make sweaters and go for a ride through his Perfect Irish Christmas Village.

Skwisgaar got dumped by his terrible fiancé and doesn’t have the nerve to tell his family so he needs Nathan to pretend to be engaged to him just for the weekend!

Toki is stuck in a timeloop and keeps reliving his worst Christmas Eve ever! He needs Nathan to help him figure out what he needs to do to make it to Christmas Day!

Murderface got into an argument with Santa—the REAL Santa!!!—and has been CURSED to only tell the truth. He needs Nathan’s help breaking the curse before he completely tanks his blossoming political career!

Magnus is the ghost of a bootlegger with anachronistic hair who haunts the local inn and he needs Nathan’s help solving his murder but he better not fall in love with him!

As the only woman of color in this town and maybe the world, Abigail’s entire existence revolves around convincing Nathan he needs to get a boyfriend. She has no identity or personality beyond this. (”That’s pretty fucked up.” “YEAH PAL IT’S REALLY FUCKED UP.”)

It turns out this is nothing more than a mass-hallucination brought on by a Mordhaus carbon-monoxide leak. But then Nathan finds a snow globe containing an exact replica of that idyllic mountain town. Could it be...? Nah. Unless...? 

#12 days of dethmas #metalocalypse #i will never not plug THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS aka the bootlegger ghost movie i love it so much #almost every single one of these is a reference to a real tv christmas movie i've watched