#8bbclips

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[8bbc theme fades out] Caldwell: Uh-- I'm ready to start the show whenever you are, daddy! [Murph laughs] Emily: (accented) Daddy! I want to start the show! Murph: Ohhh, welcome to 8-bit book club, the only book club that makes you dumber! I'm Brian Murphy joined as always by my life slash comedy partner Emily Axford. Emily: Kamehameha! [Caldwell laughs] Murph: That has nothing to do with what we're doing today! [Emily laughs.] We're doing a Mario book and you're just shouting things from Dragon Ball Z? And now you're just laughing and you're just out of commission? And, um, why not, the Krillin to my Goku, Caldwell Tanner. [Emily and Caldwell laugh. Emily continues wordlessly laughing in the background as Murph and Caldwell talk.] Caldwell: I had a whole thing about Koopas ready and you fuckin' threw it off! Murph, laughing: Yeah, the whole thing's thrown off. We… Caldwell: We're already off the path. Murph: We're already off the path! Emily's been so weird the past few days, I was just telling Caldwell about how she's been prankin' me. By-- (laughs) She went to Starbucks the other day, I asked her to get me a large iced coffee, she insisted she was only gonna get me a small iced coffee. And then, Emily, do you wanna tell everyone the prank that you did when you came back? Emily: Okay. Then I-- Caldwell: Yeah, tell them the excellent goof that you pulled. Murph: Yeah, the good switcheroo! Emily: Okay, here's the good switcheroo! [Caldwell laughs.] I came back and I said-- "I know you wanted a large, I wanted to get you a small, so I split the difference and I got you a venti… straw." And I gave him a small iced coffee but with the biggest straw there. [Caldwell laughs] Murph: Yeah, so… it was… Emily: Did it look pretty silly as I was walking home from? Yeah! I think everyone probably saw me and was like "that girl's going to goof!" Murph: It was-- it was pretty silly, it was definitely a harmless goof, and yet it was-- um-- she ultimately did me a favor that I didn't wanna say thank you for. You know what I mean? Caldwell: Right. Right, cause you didn't-- it didn't keep you up? It was the right sized coffee that you needed? Murph: Well, no, it was nice thing for her to pick me up a coffee when she was out, but then she owned me when she came home. [Emily laughs] For no reason! Caldwell: Did the barista ask-- were they like-- "Well, I don't understand, you don't have a venti drink." Did you have to explain that you were taking your husband to goof town? Emily: Um, no. I would have said those words exactly if they had asked, but actually it's sort of a self service station for straws there at Starbucks. Caldwell: Oh, right. Emily: So I was using the Starbucks self-service straw station. Caldwell: They probably get a lot of people picking up those venti straws for like, crafts and stuff. They're very sturdy. Emily: Oh, yeah. You could also make a gorge necklace out of them! Murph: Yeah, you could make a good straw cabin out of that! Caldwell: Mhm. A straw-bridge. Murph: What the fuck are we talking about? [Emily and Caldwell laugh] Um, we-- wuh. Man, I can't even talk.

#8 bit book club #8bbc #naddpod #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #emily axford #this made me so <3333 #8bbclips

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Caldwell, reading: Behind her, a sultry troubled voice offers a reply. (Adam Driver voice) "I know, right?" [Emily and Murph cackle. Caldwell laughs, too.] Caldwell: (Adam Driver voice) "So unprofessional." (continues reading) Emily turns to find the owner of this husky tenor. And finds herself face to face with famous Hollywood actor Adam Driver. [Murph cackles. Emily laughs.] Murph: Caldwell! This is so goddamn good! Caldwell, laughing: On each of his legs si-- on each of his legs sits a huge bearded dragon wearing a tiny tuxedo. [Emily squeals with laughter.] Murph: You're gonna make her cry again! Caldwell: We should be livestreaming this. Murph: I know, this is-- Emily: How do you--?! Murph: Her reaction is insane. Caldwell: Murph can you please get some video if you don't mind, sir. Emily: Murph, how do you know when I'm about to cry? I feel like every time that the tears start to come to my eyes, you're like "Emily's gonna cry." [Caldwell laughs.] Murph: (laughs) Cause we're married! Caldwell: It's part of the deal! Emily: Yeah, I look great, I'm beautiful. I-- Murph: I agree. Caldwell, reading: On each of his legs sits a huge bearded dragon wearing a tiny tuxedo.

#8bbc #8 bit book club #8bbclips #but we all need some joy amongst the insanity lol lol #brian murphy #emily axford #caldwell tanner #naddpod #feels insane to post this after the general naddpod vibes i've been having today

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Caldwell, reading: The opera house impresario rushes out and informs the audience that the actress playing Maria has locked herself in her dressing room and is refusing to come out! Murph, delighted: Emily you're gonna be in the freaking opera! Caldwell, reading: Emily is distraught. [Murph cackles] Caldwell: (laughs) Emily's face! She's about to-- Murph, laughing: Emily, are you gonna cry? Emily's crying! (cackles) Emily! [Caldwell and Murph laughing. Emily occasionally squeaks with laughter.] Caldwell: She's so wet! Murph: Caldwell, you broke her! Caldwell: Oh no! Murph, laughing: This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done. She's crying. Caldwell: (laughs) She's literally crying! [Caldwell and Murph laugh. A few seconds of silence, then they laugh harder.] Caldwell, distraught: Emily! Emily, weakly: … go on. (laughs) Caldwell: It took me an hour! Murph: This… Emily: I'm ready! I'm ready! Caldwell: Emily is distraught. Literally. In real life. She's come all this way just to have her dreams dashed. What should she do?

#8bbc #8 bit book club #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #naddpod #moment of all time. moment of all time #emilys quiet ‘go on’ #8bbclips

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[8bbc theme fades out] Murph: Welcome to 8-bit book club, the only book club that makes you dumber. (laughs) I'm laughing because Emily has the mic at the ready to interrupt me. [Caldwell laughs.] Interrupt the intro. But yes, I'm joined as always by my life-slash-comedy partner, Emily Axford. Emily: Sup, bitch! Caldwell: (laughs) not really on theme, but okay. Murph: Whatup. Yeah, whatup. Uh, and the, uh-- Emily: Oh, I didn't even think to do that. We just were talking about "bitch" so much before we started this. Caldwell: Yeah. Murph: Yeah, and the, uh, Aerith Gainsborough to my Cloud Strife, Caldwell Tanner. Caldwell: (laughs) What's up, it's me, the music bitch! [Emily and Murph laugh.] Murph: Yeah, what's up bitches! Caldwell: Can't get enough of the stuff! [Emily laughs] Murph: We're say-- we're saying "bitch" a lot today, apparently. Emily came in and she kept calling everyone bitch, and referring to herself as bitch. Caldwell: Emily-- Emily said it was cool if we did it. Murph: She said-- Emily: (quietly) No, I said I'm allowed to. Murph: What were you saying? Because we're gonna go-- we're gonna go out to eat after this, and you said-- Emily: I said (exaggerated) this bitch is getting meat! Murph: This bitch is getting meat. You also-- Emily: (exaggerated) This bitch is getting the 12-ounce New York Strip Steak! [Caldwell laughs.] Murph: You were also talking about daddy. Daddy is taking us to go get dinner. Emily: Yeah, I said-- If we record a very good podcast, daddy's gonna take us to get some steak! Murph: This is… Caldwell: That's true. And you meant like-- Murph: Off to a strange, sexual start. Caldwell: You meant like, our collective daddy. Like, the kind of philosophical daddy, which represents you self-disciplining yourself. Emily: Well-- what I said is that everyone has their own inner daddy. Caldwell: Right. Emily: And inner daddy can treat you if you-- um-- if you are good. Caldwell: Right. And that's what-- Emily: You have an inner baby and an inner daddy. Murph: Awh. What? [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Caldwell: I don't like where this is going. Emily: Baby I mean like-- child. Caldwell: Right Murph: Okay. Emily: Not like baby like, santa baby. Caldwell: Listen, Murph, we're past that basic bullshit where we talk about self care. It's all about uh-- treating your little inner baby-- [Emily laughs.] Caldwell and Murph: --and being your own daddy. Emily: You have to discipline-- Murph: We have discussed in the past being your own daddy. Emily: You have to discipline your inner baby, and be your own daddy. (laughs) So stop going and getting pedicures and acting like that's what you owe yourself. No, your inner baby is soft. Caldwell: Right. Emily: It needs to start pumping up. Murph: Oh my god. Caldwell: Hey. Spare the rod, spoil the daddy. [Emily cackles. Caldwell laughs.] Murph: Everybody-- Alright. Alright bitches, shut the fuck up. Uh, this week-- Emily: Spare the-- [cackles] Murph: Would you guys--? This one's-- This is gonna be a loose one, 'cause we didn't read a book.

#8bbc #8 bit book club #8bbclips #naddpod #emily axford #caldwell tanner #brian murphy #'spare the rod spoil the...' is. insane. caldwell just says things #i can't finish that sentence because it'll nuke this post from orbit lol #8bbc really tests the limits of what i can type to get stuff to show up in the tags

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Murph: Roll on Sonic's agility-- (smugly) oh, wow! Guess Murph's hog ain't so bad! Caldwell: (laughs) Daddy's got a brand new hog! Murph: Daddy's got a nice hog! Emily: Ew! Murph: Murph's got a good hog! Emily: Literally you're-- it's illegal to say 'daddy's got a nice hog.' [Murph cackles.] Emily: It's actually illegal. The FBI, I just heard them kick down our door. Murph: Wow. Caldwell: The FCC has been listening to this somehow. They're not happy. Murph: Oh, boy. (Adam Driver voice) "Daddy's got a… good hog." Emily: A nice hog. Murph: (Adam Driver voice) "a nice hog." Emily: Ew. It's worse to say nice. [Caldwell laughs.]

#8 bit book club #8bbc #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #8bbclips

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for fans of the m&m tasting mixed bag, i'm pleased to inform you that emily has always been like this (clip from 8bbc)

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Murph: We were just having a discussion about the tan M&M. [Emily laughs] That, of course, was replaced by the blue M&M-- Caldwell: Right. Murph: Uh, in the 90's. Emily: Mmm. That ca-- (breaks off laughing) Murph (laughing): And Emily was talking about how it tasted more caramel-y. Caldwell: Here's a question. Do you guys think that the-- Murph: Which is a lie. Emily (laughing): So creamy and caramel-y! Murph: Which is-- which is objectively incorrect. Like, we all know that's a placebo effect! Also, also you were eight years old! Emily: I-- uh, probably more like three. Caldwell: I wish-- Emily: It was my first M&M I ever ate. I guarantee-- (laughs) Murph: It was-- you don't remember the first M&M you ever ate! Emily: I remember the first time-- Caldwell: Oh, everyone remembers! Emily (through increasing laughter): --I put a creamy, caramel-y tan M&M-- Murph (laughing): It wasn't-- it's not caramel! They're all milk chocolate! They're all the same thing! Emily: Then why are they different colors?

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #‘then why are they different colors’ #she’s right and she should say it #8bbclips

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Emily: Ooooh! Murph: I was accused last week of loving critters. Emily: Yeah Murph: Uh, and then the 8-bit book club subreddit-- Caldwell: (laughs) The subreddit is like--! Murph: --really went in and started citing times that I defended critters! (laughs) [Emily laughs.] Murph: And I-- it really made me question myself. Caldwell: This is like when Reddit comes together to help solve a crime. Emily: Yeah! (laughs) Caldwell: They're like pouring their collective subconscious into-- (laughs) Murph: They're like: "Is Murph a platonic furry? Does he just enjoy critters?" Emily: I think you're-- You know how there's the reptile furries? Caldwell: Scalies. Yeahyeah. Murph: Oh, scalies, sure. Emily: Scalies. I think you're a feather. You're a bird furry. [Caldwell laughs.] Murph: I just like birds. Caldwell: Wait! So what is-- You like birds. Emily: Yeah, you're a bird. So, you're not a furry, you're a feathery. Murph: I have also-- okay, this is also bullying! Because, uh-- Caldwell: (laughs) Little bit. Murph: This is from that Mortal Kombat-- Emily: No, I'm pro sexual kinks! Murph: (laughs) Nonono, but this isn't sexual! Emily: I love it! Let's get freaky! Murph: This isn't-- see, you calling-- Emily: Come to me with your freakiest shit and I will support you! Murph: You call-- You calling it sexual and making it a sexual thing is bullying, because it's not! [Emily laughs.] Caldwell: This is really-- Murph: This all from the Mortal Kombat episode, where I brought up that um, I wrote Animorphs fanfiction as a kid, and-- in one of the parts-- I touched a bird and turned into a bird. [Emily laughs.] Caldwell: Right. Murph: And then Emily kept accusing me of loving finches? [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Emily: Which is something that has continued in our daily life! Caldwell: You Darwin-loving dope! Emily: Between finches and Jack Skellington, those are my favorite things to accuse Murph of loving! [Caldwell and Murph laugh.]

#8 bit book club #8bbc #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #naddpod #8bbclips #stay tuned tomorrow for part two which is jack skellington <3 #the phrase ‘platonic furry’ really sent me

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[8bbc theme fades out] Murph: Welcome to 8-bit book club, the only book club that makes you dumber. Uh, announcing the glorious return of my life slash comedy partner Emily Axford! [Silence.] Murph: (cackles) Who's not talking! Because-- Caldwell: She said all her jokes before the show started (laughs) Murph: She said all her jokes before the show started! We told her to stop being funny, 'cause part of it wasn't being recorded, part of it was like, halfway through, I called a podcast a "poddy" and Emily started going off on that. Caldwell: Mhm. Yeah, it was very funny. Murph: But now she's not talking! She's tight lipped! Caldwell: Guys, get ready-- this episode, get ready for sassy Emily. Murph: Yeah! [Emily cackles.] Murph: There she is! There she is. She can't hide the sass long!

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #gotta say! this is one of my favorites #sassy emily <333 #8bbclips

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Murph: Uh-- (reading) “All that's left is some crusts and a pile of anchovies that the princess picked off her slices.” Caldwell: Eee-Yuck! Emily: Can I bring up something random? [Everyone laughs] Caldwell: Please do! Please! Murph, laughing: We're on page FIVE. What do you want, Emily?? Emily, laughing: I wanna bring up something-- (trails off into laughter) Caldwell: Let's make this a two-parter boys! Emily, laughing: What if-- Okay, now I'm just laughing cause you're mad. Caldwell: Emily's had half a gluten free beer. Murph, exasperated: What do you want? Emily: What if there-- like, imagine a (laughs) parallel universe where Mario and Luigi are obsessed with bagels, not pizza. Does that exist-- Caldwell: They're not obsessed with pizza at all???? Murph: They're not obsessed with pizza??? Caldwell: That's the ninja turtles! Murph, laughing: That's the-- they just ate pizza in this one instance! Emily: No no no, but they've eaten pizza-- Murph: No, they haven't! When did they eat-- Caldwell: Like twice! Emily: Like in the movies they eat pizza. 'Cause they're from Brooklyn! Murph: There's one movie! Caldwell: What movies?? Murph: I don't remember it! Do you remember it? Caldwell: Are you sure-- You're thinking of-- Murph: Do they eat pizza in it??? Caldwell, urgently: Do you think-- Are you thinking of the ninja turtles?? Emily, laughing: I might be! Caldwell: It's like, pretty-- [Emily and Murph are dying laughing] Emily, through laughter: Okay, another-- another-- Murph, laughing: Emily. Caldwell: Let-- usually I want to go with you, but. Murph, a word at a time through laughter: Emily. Interrupted the book. To. Make. A-- Caldwell: A-a baseless claim! Murph, still laughing: Yeah! [Emily laughs] Murph: To talk about a false premise! Of the Mario brothers loving pizza. Emily: Okay, wait! Murph: And what if they loved bagels instead? Who-- Who cares? Caldwell: Well that's why at the beginning of Mario 64-- [They start talking over each other.] Emily: Another random thought! Murph: Alright everybody, shut up! Caldwell: You gotta talk quieter. [Murph cackles] Emily: What if the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles were obsessed with bagels? Murph: Oh, boy, this is off the rails already.

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #no one is doing it like her #no one is doing it like her at all <3333 #8bbclips

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we all know the hemp milk song, but they talk about hemp milk on 8bbc too. it's a delight <3

Transcript

Murph: Uhh-- Emily: I do wish that we still had milkmen! Caldwell: Yeah Emily: Because wouldn't that be a nice part of life? I mean I don't really even drink milk, honestly I make hemp milk, um-- Caldwell: Right. (pause) What? Emily: It's really good! Murph: (laughs) Emily once, uh, invited me into the kitchen to… show me that she made hemp milk. And I wasn't ex-- Emily: It's fuckin' cool, man! Murph: I wasn't excited enough, so she made me come back in three different times [Caldwell laughs] to act more excited about the hemp milk. Uh-- Emily: I put hemp seeds into a blender, blended them, and then took-- I'm gonna drop a great phrase on you-- Caldwell: Woah Emily: A nut bag! And poured it all through a nut bag, and squeezed all the goodness out of the rest of the pieces, and then I made hemp milk that way, and now I have hemp milk. Caldwell (overlapping): God. I don't get nearly enough-- I don't get nearly enough opportunities to bust out my nut bag. [Emily and Murph laugh] Caldwell: Just, I'm really envious. Emily: It made me like, want to put everything through my nut bag and just see what it filtered out.

#8 bit book club #naddpod #brian murphy #emily axford #caldwell tanner #8bbclips #i love them. your honor. #hemp milk song is made better knowing emily #made murph come back into the room bc he wasn’t excited enough

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Emily: Um, so that's sort-- this is sort of like a long, drawn out, choose your own adventure koan. Murph: mmm. Caldwell (with less confidence as he goes on): Right, I thought that that was just like… a slang for-- jacking off. Though. Emily: What is the sound of one hand clapping? Caldwell: Yeah. Emily: So then it would be-- (laughs) Murph: Please make a jack off noise with your mouth, Emily Caldwell: Mhm. Emily, laughing: I-- I can't-- Murph: She's going for her cheeks. Do it! [A pause as Emily and Caldwell laugh] Murph, laughing: Emily can't-- Emily can't do anything funny on request 'cause she starts-- [Caldwell laughs] -- She just bursts into tears. Emily: (laughs) Okay. [Another pause. Emily goes completely silent.] Murph: Okay, Emily's trying. Caldwell: Okay. Murph: Her face is turning red. Tears are welling up in her eyes-- Caldwell: What are you-- (laughs) Murph: --as she's trying to prepare to make masturbation sounds with her cheeks. Can't do it! Caldwell: She's dying. Murph: Simply can't do it! Caldwell: Our foley expert! Murph: She's-- She's an actor. [Emily laughs.] Caldwell: The puzzle master! Murph: She can't-- it's weird! I don't know what the rules are for what Emily can and can't do on command. She can-- if it's like, assumed that she'll do it, she can. But if you're actually like "Emily keep a straight face" or "Emily don't laugh" she can't do it. (laughing) She's-- she's just silent-- Caldwell: I'm just taking a picture of Emily. Murph: --and crying on the couch. Alright. Caldwell: Anyway. [Makes a slapping noise with his cheeks] Murph: Alright, um-- [Emily makes a slapping noise with her cheeks] Caldwell: There you go. Murph: Our uncle-- Our uncle gave us fire powers--

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #i love them so much you don't understand #8bbclips

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Caldwell: Um, I guess the funniest one is probably the, uh, Sonic the Hedgehog reboot for the Xbox 360, uh, Sonic 2006-- Murph: Oh, is that when he falls in love with a human woman? Caldwell: Yeah, that's the one where he falls in love with a human woman. Murph: Wow. Caldwell: Mhm. Emily: Woah, that happened in 2006? Caldwell: In 2006, Sonic-- Emily: In the 2000s, everyone wanted women to fuck cartoons and animals! Caldwell: (laughing) Right. We just wanted-- we were just desperate for anything! Emily: Like, that's like all that advertising was. All of advertising was just like, a woman flirting with like a... Murph: A gecko. Emily: A gecko. Or, a pig, or-- Murph: Oh, what is that-- yeah, who is that pig for? Was that an-- That's an insurance pig. Caldwell: Yeah. Um, also Geico. Murph: That's a Geico pig. [Caldwell: Yeah.] Yeah, he's always like flirtin' with ladies and like, stealing girlfriends. Emily: Or like, I feel like, like Chester Cheeto-- that's probably more 90's, but I feel like Chester Cheeto was like, pretty-- Caldwell: God, I would give anything-- Murph: Chester's always getting friend-zoned. Caldwell: I would fucking give anything to be cucked by Chester Cheeto. [Murph laughs] Emily: Oh my god, just like, wearing his sunglasses while he did it. Murph: Awh. Caldwell: Mhm. Good-- Great work. Emily: So, like, his head would be tilted at you but you wouldn't even know if he was making eye contact with you or just staring at your fucking gorgeous loving wife. Caldwell: And not-- and not reboot Chester where they made him British. Fuck that! Murph: Alright. Um-- (laughs) So, what the fu-- what were we talking about? Caldwell: Ten minutes in! Murph: (laughing) Before getting cucked by Chester Cheeta? [Emily and Caldwell laugh.] Murph: Alright, uh-- Rotor is in the jail cell-- [Emily coughs.] Murph: Oh boy. Caldwell: Emily's dead! Murph: Emily you alright? [Silence, followed by Emily coughing harder.] Murph: (deadpan) Hang in there. Uh oh. Caldwell: Keep reading! It's the only thing she wants! Murph: Oh, okay, uh-- (reading) "Rotor was a member of Princess Sally's brave band of freedom fighters--" [Clip fades out.]

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #8bbclips #obsessed with the way caldwell says Human Woman #and also em just dying

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Caldwell: Before we move on, can I just say how weird it was that Doctor Robotnik's password was Sonic? [Murph laughs] Emily: Yeah, it makes me be like "who's my enemy?" and then like try to picture using their name as my password. Caldwell: I think-- I think that there's more to this relationship. Murph: He's consumed by him. It's actually very good writing. Emily: It's clearly like-- It's clearly like, kind of like a toxic ex kind of thing. Caldwell: Yeah. Murph: Yes. He can only think of conquering him. Caldwell: Do you think that they fucked? [A full beat.] Murph, reading enthusiastically: Sonic has never seen any part of the zone damaged this badly before! [Emily and Caldwell laugh] Not even Doctor Robotnik's last takeover attempt. Something has really torn it up.

#8 bit book club #naddpod #caldwell tanner #emily axford #brian murphy #the full beat and then murph just moving on is what gets me #8bbclips

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Emily: Um, I have one last Myst related question. Murph: Please. Emily: Um, okay. So, in it there's several moments-- you look so skeptical of me right now. Caldwell: (gleeful) No, I'm just ready. Emily: You're just ready? Caldwell: I'm ready for Myst! Emily: Okay! Murph: (To the tune of Get Ready For This) Y'all ready for Myst? Duhnana na na-- [Everyone joins in] -- na nana nana. Emily: Wait, no no no no! Murph and Caldwell, continuing: Dah dah da duh duh duhduh. Dah dah dah duh duh duhduh. Emily: Let me-- Can we start over? Can we start over please? Caldwell: Y'all ready for Myst? Yeah. Emily: (To the tune of Get Ready For This) Y'all ready for Myst? (stumbling) D'Ni D'Ni ni ni ni ni ni-- Caldwell, over her: No! Murph, over her: What-- What is this?? [Emily breaks off into laughter.] Murph: D-- Okay, wait-- nonono, we can make this work! We can make this work! No, we can make this work! Start over. Emily-- Emily-- Caldwell: Emily-- As Emily's-- Two teeth fell out of her mouth. Emily: And a chunk of my inner cheek! Murph: Emily, you are the-- Em, you are the "Y'all ready for this" thing. And we're all gonna come in on the D'Nis Emily: Okay! Okay. Caldwell: Yeahyeahyeah. Emily: Okay. (To the tune of Get Ready For This) Y'all ready for Myst? Murph and Caldwell: Dinini di di di nini nini di di di nini nini! Di di di nini nini di di di nini nini! [Emily laughing] Murph: Di di. Caldwell: Atrus! Emily: (through laughter) Y'all ready for Myst? Murph and Caldwell: Dinini di di di nini nini di di di nini nini! Di di di nini nini-- Murph: Di! Caldwell: Betray your dad! Murph: [laughs] You have shit kids. Emily: What about "Y'all Riven for Myst" [Caldwell cackles] Murph: Ohhhhh! Damn! Aw, man, we're not gonna top that!

#8 bit book club #naddpod #emily axford #caldwell tanner #brian murphy #8bbclips #i’m sorry for the transcript in this one how the fuck do you transcribe that #lmao

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Emily: Between finches and Jack Skellington, those are my favorite things to accuse Murph of loving! [Caldwell and Murph laugh] Murph: Yes, that was-- [Emily laughs] Murph: Did we talk about that on the podcast ever? When we were at-- (laughs) When we were at Disneyland one time, and it got super cold, and I was just in a t-shirt and I had to buy a (barely able to get the words out) Jack Skele- Ske-- a Jack Skellington long-sleeve t-shirt? [Emily and Caldwell laugh] Murph: (through laughter) And Emily-- And I-- I was so embarrassed-- 'cause I didn't wanna be one of those-- I didn't wanna-- it was-- Emily: And I made us go in line at the Haunted Mansion so he looked like a super fan? Caldwell: Wait. Murph: (high-pitched) Yeah. Caldwell: Waitwaitwaitwaitwait. It was a long sleeve t-shirt? Murph: Right, right, okay! So, it was the cheapest thing I could buy! [Caldwell and Emily laugh] Murph: Because-- Everything at Disneyland is very expensive! Caldwell: Yeah. Murph: So I was like, I'm not gonna buy, like, a Mickey Mouse sweatshirt, because I'm never gonna wear it. I'm gonna buy a 20 dollar long sleeve t-shirt, 'cause I don't wanna spend 30 or 40 on a hoodie, right? Caldwell: Sure. Murph: So I'm like-- We happened to be by the Haunted Mansion. Caldwell: Natch. Murph: So I bought a Jack Skellington long sleeve t-shirt. But that's kind of a type of dude at Disneyland-- Emily: Didn't you try to wear it inside out? Murph: I did-- I wore it under my t-shirt. Caldwell: (laughs) Was it like a half-turtleneck? I feel like they sell those there and only there. Murph: I was kinda pulling like a Tom DeLonge, from Blink-182. Emily: It was one that had like-- It was-- Caldwell: Okay. Emily: It was one that had like, slightly too-tight of a neck. Caldwell: Okay, yeah. Yep. Murph: So I wore-- I went in the bathroom, I put on the Jack Skellington long sleeve t-shirt, and then I put my t-shirt over it. [Caldwell and Emily laugh.] Caldwell: That's smart! Murph: But then while we were on line for Haunted Mansion, Emily kept lifting my shirt up-- [Everyone laughs] --and telling Jack Skellington that I was a fan! Every statue we saw of him! So-- Caldwell: "My husband loves you." Murph: --Yes, my wife-- my wife does bully me. Both publicly and when it's just us. Emily: I mean, I gotta be honest, in line, there were people who definitely respected you. Caldwell: Right. Can I get, like, a full description of the shirt? Like what are we working with graphic wise? Emily: Like, we're talking-- Okay, all I can talk about is how ill-fitting it was. Which is like: too tight in the wrists. Too tight around the neck. Baggy everywhere else. Murph: It was a real-- It was a real K-Mart fit. Emily: Yeah! Caldwell: This seems like a shirt that was designed to be tucked in. Murph: Yeah, it was-- it's-- it's a shirt for dads with attitudes. Emily: Like, into like some-- I was gonna say, into some baggy dad jeans! That is what it deserved. Caldwell: A baggy daddy. Yeah.

#8 bit book club #emily axford #caldwell tanner #brian murphy #8bbc #naddpod #emily bullying her husband in real life is always so <3 #murph barely getting through the story my absolute beloved #8bbclips

[stone-stars]

Transcript:

Murph: So-- Caldwell: Think about how many stars you're getting towards your pizza party for this book. [Emily laughs.] Murph: It's also-- here's the thing, is-- Emily: Why don't we do adult pizza parties for books? Caldwell: We-- I do adult pizza parties all the time! It's where I order a pizza-- Murph: You just e-- You just have pizza. We've eaten pizza together. That's a pizza party. Caldwell: Pizza isn't-- Emily: Yeah, but we should be a reward. Like it was when you were a kid. Caldwell: Okay. It is a-- No, it is a reward! I earned money and I spend it on pizza whenever I want! Murph: It's a reward any time you enjoy it, Em. The pizza party's in your mind, girl. Caldwell: (laughs) Exactly. What-- What do you mean-- Murph: Have you learned nothing from this book? Caldwell: Exactly. Emily: Um, I read way more of it than you did! [Murph cackles.] Caldwell: Can we get a quick count? How far did everyone make it in the book?

#8 bit book club #8bbc #emily axford #brian murphy #caldwell tanner #she’s right. but also #i’m obsessed with how murph says ‘the pizza party’s in your mind gir’ #naddpod #8bbclips